What Should I do about Christmas eve?

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Ukrforever

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Hi, my church at Christmas eve has matins and Divine Litergy starting at 8:00pm . I have gotten involved with the choir for Christmas eve and they have gotten me to do some solos. My church also has Divine Litergy Christmas Day but thats not an option since Christmas day is super busy. I usually dont go to any services for Christmas and just attend my grandmothers Prespyterian church with my family. Should I attend church with my family or go to my church for their Christmas eve services. I even said that Litergy( which is what the choir is singing in) starts at 9:00pm I could go to their church at 7:00pm and get to my church in time. My parents said that would not work since we do not get home to my grandmothers till 8:30, and they are not rushing off to take me to church since my grandmother has no one. Im 18 and I can make my own mind up I am just not sure what the right thing to do is? 😦
 
I would like to suggest you go to your own church for Christmas. Not because of the choir or the solos, but because Christmas day is a holy day of obligation (the obligation can be fulfilled on Christmas Eve). This year it falls on Sunday on top of everything else. From what you have written it seems to me that you are the only catholic in your family, is that correct? Naturally, that is going to cause some friction in your family and sometimes hard choices. You should take great care to always fulfill your Sunday and Holy Day obligation even if it means that you will be missing some family events (like going to Presbyterian Church with your grandmother). I am sure if you explain this to your family with kindness, they will understand you not attending the service with them.
 
Do not cause trouble with your family. How does it profit your soul that you go to church and come home to an angry family? Do what you can to satisfy your parent’s requests, and go to church. You did not state why Christmas Day itself is busy, but perhaps you can find time that day to go to church. Perhaps tell your parents that you will go with grandma for Christmas Eve, but they have to promise to bring you to your church on Christmas Day.
 
If you already made a commitment to the choir it is a bit late in the day to back out. In what way does your participating in Divine Liturgy in your own church disrupt your family’s plans, if you have your own transportation, or can get a ride from someone at Church? Can’t believe your family would not want to come and listen to the choir, but be that as it may, you can still go with your family on Christmas day. Otherwise, I guess the family since they have decided not to be united on religion, will have to be apart for the most important element of the Christmas celebration, and be content with the time they have together at home.
 
I understand you want to be with your family and you don’t want to cause any problems, so it’s not an easy decision to make. Believe me, as you get older in life you will see that you can’t make **everyone **happy. This is just part of life I guess.
Now Christmas is a Holy Day of Obligation, and you are Catholic. I’m not telling you what to do but I really feel that I would go to my Church if I was in that situation. Definitely think about it, see what *you *want to do (what is in your heart), and if necessary talk to them about it. That’s what I would do.

God Bless.
 
I’m not Ukranian Catholic, and I assume that though you attend Church with your family, your grandmother cannot be left alone. Someone has to be with grandmother, so they can’t leave her and take you to the second service on Christmas Eve.

Choose the course of least resistance. I would do Christmas Eve with the family at the Presbyterian Church so as to not have grandmother left alone afterward, though I wonder why everyone would need to take you – however they have said “no.”

Possibly someone from the Ukranian Catholic Church, who is going to Church anyway for Christmas services, would agree to take and bring you back on Christmas day, which will not inconvenience the rest of your family.

However, I seem to recall from an earlier post that going to the Presbyterian Church for your grandmother and with her is becoming a problem. If I recall, the pastor openly criticizes Catholics and some of the other congregants do so too and in front of you. You have a dilemma since your grandmother is an elder in the Presbyterian Church and she cannot just up and go to another Presbyterian Church. I think this trying to live a dual religious life is bringing up much conflict and it all needs to re-thought for the New Year. I know you love and respect your grandmother, but you are having conflicts with trying to satisfy her faith and yours.
 
Thanks to all those that responded so far. People please continue respond I need all the opinions I can get before I make my decision.
 
My grandmother doesnt need to have anyone with her shes perfectly capable of taking care of herself. My parents just dont want her to be alone on Christmas eve since her husbands dead, her siblings are dead, her son doesnt really care about her so will most likely miss Christmas all together. So shed be alone for the whole Christmas eve night after 8:30pm. My parents and I have joined her on Christmas eve for church and afterwards for the past 17 years.
 
Ukrforever said:
My grandmother doesnt need to have anyone with her shes perfectly capable of taking care of herself. My parents just dont want her to be alone on Christmas eve since her husbands dead, her siblings are dead, her son doesnt really care about her so will most likely miss Christmas all together. So shed be alone for the whole Christmas eve night after 8:30pm. My parents and I have joined her on Christmas eve for church and afterwards for the past 17 years.
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Its not about taking care of herself, its Christmas. Go be with your grandmother!
 
Or I could go to my grandmothers church Christmas eve, and just not show up for Christmas eve service at my church. I am sure someone could take over if need be. I just dont want to go back on my word, so I rather say nothing at all to the choir. If that is what I decide.
 
Ukrforever said:
Hi, my church at Christmas eve has matins and Divine Litergy starting at 8:00pm . I have gotten involved with the choir for Christmas eve and they have gotten me to do some solos. My church also has Divine Litergy Christmas Day but thats not an option since Christmas day is super busy. I usually dont go to any services for Christmas and just attend my grandmothers Prespyterian church with my family. Should I attend church with my family or go to my church for their Christmas eve services. I even said that Litergy( which is what the choir is singing in) starts at 9:00pm I could go to their church at 7:00pm and get to my church in time. My parents said that would not work since we do not get home to my grandmothers till 8:30, and they are not rushing off to take me to church since my grandmother has no one. Im 18 and I can make my own mind up I am just not sure what the right thing to do is? 😦
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If you have made promises to the choir, and they are depending on you, is there really a choice? Surely your family wants you to be faithful to your word. Since your grandmother will have some of the family with her on Christmas Eve, you can, and should, keep your commitment to the choir.
 
Ukrforever said:
Or I could go to my grandmothers church Christmas eve, and just not show up for Christmas eve service at my church. I am sure someone could take over if need be. I just dont want to go back on my word, so I rather say nothing at all to the choir. If that is what I decide.
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Is that your dilemma? Tell them then that you cannot because you have to be with your family.
 
Sure their is a choice , I could just not show up and someone would just take my part. Than I could make up some excuse after- oh I was sick etc… than id be saving face and would not have to go back on my word
 
Maybe thats not the right decision… my mom says wont I feel guilty when she is not here anymore and I chose not to spend Christmas eve with her. However, this service comes only once a year and I would not get to participate, and get to know the youth of my parish. I lose no matter what I chose to do.
 
I mean she is 89 years old how long can she last? I just dont know what the right thing as a catholic would be to do. I just dont see why I should fullfill my parents request because they would not do that for me, neither would my grandmother.
 
Ukrforever said:
Sure their is a choice , I could just not show up and someone would just take my part. Than I could make up some excuse after- oh I was sick etc… than id be saving face and would not have to go back on my word
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Don’t lie. Tell them the truth.
 
Ukrforever said:
Maybe thats not the right decision… my mom says wont I feel guilty when she is not here anymore and I chose not to spend Christmas eve with her. However, this service comes only once a year and I would not get to participate, and get to know the youth of my parish. I lose no matter what I chose to do.
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Speak to the choir director. Let the director clear the matter by telling you if you can be replaced. Then make your decision. But keeping one’s word is a sign of being able to handle resonsibility, and maturity.
 
Ukrforever said:
I mean she is 89 years old how long can she last? I just dont know what the right thing as a catholic would be to do.
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Remember the commandments, honor thy father and thy mother. Do you think making your parents angry at you is something God wills?
 
Ukrforever said:
Or I could go to my grandmothers church Christmas eve, and just not show up for Christmas eve service at my church. I am sure someone could take over if need be. I just dont want to go back on my word, so I rather say nothing at all to the choir. If that is what I decide.
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Is there no one from the Ukranian Church who cannot take you when they go on Christmas day? Someone from the choir? Surely the priest/pastor might be able to ask another parishoner. But since you are active in the choir I assume that you know people who will be attending. I can’t see someone refusing if they are going anyway. This way you have Christmas Eve with family and slip out for a couple of hours to attend your Church.
 
The church demands attendance at Christmas dont they? Dont they realize that people might have better places to be, and yet theirs that commandment. When my Baba was alive shed be outraged if I did not do to Christmas eve litergy/mass. Why really is it important to spend Christmas with your family? You just going to end up regretting things anyway once people are gone… why does it matter? Id know id have a much more enjoyable time at my church. I wont go Christmas day because it is not the same as Christmas eve… last year their were only 4 people including me. Besides id miss matins and I really wanted to experience that.
 
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