What should i do? Advice on moving out

[lolashy]

You should apply to college or enroll at a trade school so you will not have to live with a relative the rest of your life. It sounds like you do not have ambition. If I were you I would not move in with the aunt. There is no way of knowing how things will be with her & since you do not have a job, you may not come up with the monthly rent. Since your parents are happy with you being there, you should be grateful. You sound like you are spoiled and unappreciative.

I am wanting to go to college. I just need a steady job first, because you need money to go to college where i live. I am grateful for my parents, they have done alot for me, but i feel i need to do something on my own.

 

[hannajomar]

It sounds like a great opportunity for you, even though this can be frightening. Let us know how it works out!

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

But do you think i should take her offer??

Yes!!!

Speaking from experience here: making the decision to move to a new place and start a new chapter in life is the most difficult thing. After you do it, things start rolling and I find that to be a much easier thing than the actual decision making process and preparation to move.

You are young and the current situation is leading nowhere. Don’t waste your precious time. If you have an opportunity to move on in life - take it. Your aunt is obvioulsy keen to help you.

 

[LSIP]

You should apply to college or enroll at a trade school so you will not have to live with a relative the rest of your life. It sounds like you do not have ambition. If I were you I would not move in with the aunt. There is no way of knowing how things will be with her & since you do not have a job, you may not come up with the monthly rent. Since your parents are happy with you being there, you should be grateful. You sound like you are spoiled and unappreciative.

Wow. The malignant negativity in your response is alarming.

Some people have to pay for their own educations and it takes smaller steps and more time to do so. Yes, in the ideal world, young people go to college or trade school right away but with the reality of where she lives and her economic situation, she can only do what she can afford to do. The young woman seems like she is very respectful of her parents. How many young people seek advice on a Catholic website about how to even approach the subject of moving out?

My hunch is that Lolashy has a loving Aunt willing to further mentor her and encourage her to continue on. Lolashy never said she was going to move in with Aunt and that’s the end.
You never know what opportunities will open up when you take some chances and learn and even fail along the way. You can learn a lot by failing too.

Moving out is a win-win for everyone involved.

 

[Cristiano]

First you talk to your parents about it, then find a job where your aunt lives, then move. If you plan to do things in a different order then you are not mature enough to be independent.

 

[Della]

First you talk to your parents about it, then find a job where your aunt lives, then move. If you plan to do things in a different order then you are not mature enough to be independent.

Forgive me for laughing when I read this, but truly, who is mature enough to be independent under such circumstances? Give the girl a break. She has to decide how she is going to make her break with her parents as she thinks best. Now that is the true sign of maturity.

 

[Cristiano]

Forgive me for laughing when I read this, but truly, who is mature enough to be independent under such circumstances? Give the girl a break. She has to decide how she is going to make her break with her parents as she thinks best. Now that is the true sign of maturity.

I think that you are highly confused about the concept of maturity and of independence. I know a lot of people that are mature enough to become independent under such circumstances. A mature person would not look at making a break with the parents but would simply look at establishing an independent life, the first is a sign of a knee jerk reaction of a spoiled person the second is the sign of a person that seeks growth.

 

[Della]

I think that you are highly confused about the concept of maturity and of independence. I know a lot of people that are mature enough to become independent under such circumstances. A mature person would not look at making a break with the parents but would simply look at establishing an independent life, the first is a sign of a knee jerk reaction of a spoiled person the second is the sign of a person that seeks growth.

It depends if the person is a virtual slave instead of a daughter. This person isn’t spoiled, she’s trying to find a decent way out of a situation in which her parents are taking advantage of her by using her without regard to her wishes. This gal is 21 not 15, for crying out loud.

 

[Cristiano]

It depends if the person is a virtual slave instead of a daughter. This person isn’t spoiled, she’s trying to find a decent way out of a situation in which her parents are taking advantage of her by using her without regard to her wishes. This gal is 21 not 15, for crying out loud.

Are you saying that a 21 y/o is a virtual salve because she is expected to contribute to the well being of the household? Are you saying that they are taking advantage of her because she is asked to do house chores in exchange of lodging and food? They are using her without regard for her wishes? I am not surprised that some people expect hands out from the government if this is the ideas that they are raised with. Go to a hotel without paying the check and expect to get the same benefits that she gets at home and then you will see what happens. If she wishes out she gets a job and then she moves out, and BTW she still has a moral obligation to talk to her parents about it.

 

[Della]

Are you saying that a 21 y/o is a virtual salve because she is expected to contribute to the well being of the household? Are you saying that they are taking advantage of her because she is asked to do house chores in exchange of lodging and food? They are using her without regard for her wishes? I am not surprised that some people expect hands out from the government if this is the ideas that they are raised with. Go to a hotel without paying the check and expect to get the same benefits that she gets at home and then you will see what happens. If she wishes out she gets a job and then she moves out, and BTW she still has a moral obligation to talk to her parents about it.

Are you serious?

 

[Winter_Warlock_1]

Lolashy,

Another option, and I am not sure how you would feel about this is: the Military. I went the way of the military (Air Force) for several reasons. 1) the discipline – helped give me focus and direction, 2) for the travel – spent 2 years in Spain, 3) for the training and Collage opportunities.

For me it was a toss up between the Air Force or Navy. I wanted to get into the electronics field and the Air Force allowed me to do so. And doing so gave me my career. So I was getting training, schooling, traveling, and even better paid for on top of all that. I was in for 4 years – for me I was not going to make a career out of the military but I did enjoy it while in.

But if the full time military may not be right for you – the reserves can be a good route also. Just another option.

I pray God grants you direction and peace in your choice.

Winter

 

[Et_Cetera]

Pack your bags and go! The world has so much to offer, and there is so much to see and do…so many people to meet. Run like the wind and create your own life for yourself. It sounds like you’re in a figurative prison right now. You don’t want that. Get to a city, go to school, travel around. Don’t waste your precious time. You’re only young once. I’m young now too (only 22) and youth is a gift that should not be wasted!

 

[Et_Cetera]

You should apply to college or enroll at a trade school so you will not have to live with a relative the rest of your life. It sounds like you do not have ambition. If I were you I would not move in with the aunt. There is no way of knowing how things will be with her & since you do not have a job, you may not come up with the monthly rent. Since your parents are happy with you being there, you should be grateful. You sound like you are spoiled and unappreciative.

What is this post? Come on, she’s stuck in a dead end town. The first step is for her to get out, and she’s trying to take those steps. Don’t come in here and belittle her.

 

[thequeen]

What is this post? Come on, she’s stuck in a dead end town. The first step is for her to get out, and she’s trying to take those steps. Don’t come in here and belittle her.

You are so right Et Cetera it sounds like she has enough to deal with without some one coming in here and trying to make her feel worse. I can sort of identify with her as my parents especially my mother had a bit of a problem with me getting out on my own. but they are both in heaven now and i am sure that have a better understanding about everything now.

 

[josephback]

Don’t know what you should do. Whatever you’re comfortable with. Jesus in all probability lived at home and took care of Mary(after Joseph died) until he started preaching in his thirties. It was God’s plan for Him.

In my case I’m 27 and still live at home. It works, but part of me really hates myself for not seeming able to make the break. I lived with a friend for a while when I was 20, but being only 6 miles away I never really ‘cut the umbilical cord’, so to speak. I learned early on to do my own laundry, and yet…-My brother graduates from college next year, so that’s when I’ll probably try.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Are you saying that a 21 y/o is a virtual salve because she is expected to contribute to the well being of the household? Are you saying that they are taking advantage of her because she is asked to do house chores in exchange of lodging and food? They are using her without regard for her wishes? I am not surprised that some people expect hands out from the government if this is the ideas that they are raised with. Go to a hotel without paying the check and expect to get the same benefits that she gets at home and then you will see what happens. If she wishes out she gets a job and then she moves out, and BTW she still has a moral obligation to talk to her parents about it.

Some people have interesting ideas on how a family should work. Capitalism all the way, eh?

 

[Iheartcoffee]

I think it sounds like your aunt is giving you a great opportunity to try something new and break out of the rut you have been in! Go for it! I think it can lead to some great opportunities!

 

[horselvr]

Do you think your aunt might want to take my 25 yr old son too??? Sometimes I feel like I’m in that movie “Failure to Launch”.

We also live in a small town with little opportunities according to his degree(computer,programming).

This is a great opportunity that your Aunt is offering you. Start sending out resumes in her area asap.

Give your Mom and Dad a big hug and kiss and hit the road!!!
Enjoy the adventure!

 

[Matthewmatt]

Thanks for all the answers. I have been praying about it, and i have decided to take her
offer. Thanks for all your help!..

 

[lolashy]

Thanks for all the answers!. I have prayed about it, and feel that taking my aunts offer
will be best. I know its not going to be easy at first, but i will have to take it as it comes. I am
currently looking for jobs. Wish me luck! …