What should I do? (for the muslims)

[ZAKI]

Assalam brothers and sisters (if there ARE any sisters on this forum),

I have a problem and I need some help if any of you can help me INSHALLAH!
There are two people that I love very much (my mum and my girlfriend…who I’m going to marry ) and both are not muslims…even worse my girlfriend isn’t even from ahle-kitab! She isn’t even a jew or christian! She is agnostic. So that is even worse. Yeah. So my question is:
How can I help them and guide them to believing in the oneness of God and that Muhammed (pbuh) is his messenger?
I appreciate everything everybody.

wasalam

 

[jakasaki]

According to islams rules you are in violation.

No girlfriends are allowed

No dating is allowed

No mixing with the opposite sex is allowed

You need to “lower your gaze” - not look at the opposite sex.

Since you are male, only “women” of the “book” are available to muslim men. Jew or Christian.

You are only 15 years old, what are you doing thinking about marriage?

 

[Eleve]

As you are a Christian, jakaski, I question whether you would know Islam’s moral code better than a Muslim. You wouldn’t want Zaki defining your moral theology for you, would you?

 

[jakasaki]

As you are a Christian, jakaski, I question whether you would know Islam’s moral code better than a Muslim. You wouldn’t want Zaki defining your moral theology for you, would you?

Hi there eleve -

Those **are **the rules of islam.

Personally, I couldn’t care less what Zaki does with his life.

 

[jakasaki]

Zaki I will leave you with this… Haram!

Fatwa #13747

It is not permissible for a Muslim man to date a non-mahram woman and go out with her, because Allaah has forbidden the believers to do that as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Made lawful to you this day are At‑Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in Faith, *, then fruitless is his work; and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers”

[al-Maa’idah 5:5]

And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts”

[al-Ahzaab 33:53]

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is ever alone with a (non-mahram) women but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2165; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1758)

And Allaah is the Source of strength.*

Like I said, I dont care about what you do or don’t do.

Hopefully the muslim members will give you some advice and if you belong to any **islamic **forums you should post your Q there…

 

[katy_kt]

Not a Muslim.

Jakasaki is not wrong, it depend on how strict the Muslim is. Those from strict families do not mingle with people of the opposite gender (without family present) and dating is frowned at.

For advice, you should join a Muslim forum. This is a Catholic forum, so you will get posts from non-Muslims, and since you are asking to convert someone to Islam, it isn’t an appropriate topic here. Its best for you to either talk to an Imam in your Mosque or/and join a Muslim forum.

 

[slyboots]

Zaki,
You have not been a Muslim long as I have seen from your posts on Why Do You Hate Islam.
If you are to remain a Muslim, a non- Muslim girlfriend is out of the question. More especially if she is not even a Christian or Jew.
Aside from that, I think you saidf your father is/was a Muslim? If he is still with you, can you not talk to him? If he is not, can your talk to any of his family? Barring that possibility, can you not speak to the man who teaches Islam to you and the congregation with which you worship?
I may disagree entirely with your faith. I am a Catholic mother and grandmother. Common sense tells me a young man of 15 should not be thinking of a girl to marry quite yet. You must finish school, find a trade, make it possible to support a family before you will truly be ready to find the woman who will hopefully share your life.
Please pay attention to your studies.
And perhaps as another poster said, you would do well to ask this question on a Muslim site rather than Catholic.

 

[dolphinlove]

oh no, i didnt realise you are another teenage aussie who has converted to islam.
Are you a fan of mundines?
But Jak’s is right with the laws she has presented about islam. You can no longer go on dating this girl.
And why not try putting this question on an islamic site, this is a Catholic site you know.

 

[Eleve]

Why does everyone assume that Zaki is a very conservative Muslim? The very fact that he has a girlfriend suggests to me that he is not. Just as there are a wide variety of attitudes among Jews toward interpretation and adherence to the Law of the Torah (know the joke about 5 Jews having 10 opinions), there are a wide variety of attitudes among Muslims toward interpretation and adherence to the Law of the Qur’an.

If you’ve seen Slumdog Millionaire, you’ll know that not all Muslims are sexless prudes.

 

[GraceDK]

If you’ve seen Slumdog Millionaire, you’ll know that not all Muslims are sexless prudes.

Sexless prudes?
Both Muslims and Christians that are serious about their faith know that fornication is a grave sin.
It is even severely punishable in sharia-law.

Zaki did not ask my advice. But I wonder what he speaks to his girl friend about if she is not a religious person. She does not share his values and world view, so why would she be the mother of his children… why would he wish that?

I say that because I have also dated a man who was a nominal muslim. He wanted to raise our future children non-christian… to marry me in a mosque… he hoped I might convert to islam… . he hoped I would wear a scarf, all of these were illusions. It would never happen. I said no. In the end he said, its okay… I will do anything for you, just tell me what to do. I could not tell him that he has to become a Christian. he already knew this. I would not use his weakness for me to make him take a decision that did not come through conviction and actual search for the Truth…
I was and am Christian. I loved my Lord and danced. One time my boyfriend asked me painfully:“Grace… you love Jesus more than you love me?” I said: of course I do, what do you think?
He could not understand why I was in Church every day…
In the beginning I spoke to him about the Love of God, but he got tired of listening. I knew we had no future because we did not share what was most important…

As for you Zaki. If you are reading along here… at 15 years of age you have to wait for quite a few years before you marry. If you love the girl you will listen to this. Why? because when you are married you will get a sexual life together, then your wife will probably get pregnant. It’s not fair to her, if she does not have a good education and becomes a mature woman before she marries. Also, her rationable parents would object. You are both still children in my world view. I still remember being 15… My mind has changed alot about many things since then… I became a different person almost. When I was 15 I was in love with a guy… today I would have never ever ever fallen for that guy… hehe…

Talk to adults Zaki. Wise ones… openminded and holy and good ones…

 

[Eleve]

Sexless prudes?
Both Muslims and Christians that are serious about their faith know that fornication is a grave sin.
It is even severely punishable in sharia-law.

I meant “sexless” in the sense of not engaging in any pre-marriage romantic activity whatsoever, which would be an inaccurate picture of many Muslims’ lives. I do respect (but disagree with) both religions’ position on sex outside of marriage, but that’s not what I meant to refer to by those sharper words.

 

[ZAKI]

According to islams rules you are in violation.

No girlfriends are allowed

No dating is allowed

No mixing with the opposite sex is allowed

You need to “lower your gaze” - not look at the opposite sex.

Since you are male, only “women” of the “book” are available to muslim men. Jew or Christian.

You are only 15 years old, what are you doing thinking about marriage?

I’m violating quite alot of rules here… I don’t know. I need to rethink about my relationship then.
I was thinking about marrying her once we both turned 18, but things may change.

wasalam

 

[ZAKI]

oh no, i didnt realise you are another teenage aussie who has converted to islam.
Are you a fan of mundines?
But Jak’s is right with the laws she has presented about islam. You can no longer go on dating this girl.
And why not try putting this question on an islamic site, this is a Catholic site you know.

Mundine the man? Yeah I know him. (even though I live in Melbourne-swine flu capital of australia ). I once went to one of his fights-he is an amazing fighter but he can be arrogant sometimes as well.
Btw, what happened to all my muslim bros? This question was directed to them.

wasalam

 

[ZAKI]

As you are a Christian, jakaski, I question whether you would know Islam’s moral code better than a Muslim. You wouldn’t want Zaki defining your moral theology for you, would you?

Thanks for sticking up with me but I think the christians (for the first time ) are actually right…btw, I love slumdog millionaire-it’s an awesome film.

Hi there eleve -

Those **are **the rules of islam.

Personally, I couldn’t care less what Zaki does with his life.

Well you should start caring then shouldn’t you?

Not a Muslim.

Jakasaki is not wrong, it depend on how strict the Muslim is. Those from strict families do not mingle with people of the opposite gender (without family present) and dating is frowned at.

For advice, you should join a Muslim forum. This is a Catholic forum, so you will get posts from non-Muslims, and since you are asking to convert someone to Islam, it isn’t an appropriate topic here. Its best for you to either talk to an Imam in your Mosque or/and join a Muslim forum.

Okay. I’ll talk to my dad if I see him tonight and see what he thinks.

Zaki,
You have not been a Muslim long as I have seen from your posts on Why Do You Hate Islam.
If you are to remain a Muslim, a non- Muslim girlfriend is out of the question. More especially if she is not even a Christian or Jew.
Aside from that, I think you saidf your father is/was a Muslim? If he is still with you, can you not talk to him? If he is not, can your talk to any of his family? Barring that possibility, can you not speak to the man who teaches Islam to you and the congregation with which you worship?
I may disagree entirely with your faith. I am a Catholic mother and grandmother. Common sense tells me a young man of 15 should not be thinking of a girl to marry quite yet. You must finish school, find a trade, make it possible to support a family before you will truly be ready to find the woman who will hopefully share your life.
Please pay attention to your studies.
And perhaps as another poster said, you would do well to ask this question on a Muslim site rather than Catholic.

Yes sis, I’ll be able to speak with my dad and I’ll talk to the guy that leads the prayers at the musallah.

Sexless prudes?
Both Muslims and Christians that are serious about their faith know that fornication is a grave sin.
It is even severely punishable in sharia-law.

Zaki did not ask my advice. But I wonder what he speaks to his girl friend about if she is not a religious person. She does not share his values and world view, so why would she be the mother of his children… why would he wish that?

I say that because I have also dated a man who was a nominal muslim. He wanted to raise our future children non-christian… to marry me in a mosque… he hoped I might convert to islam… . he hoped I would wear a scarf, all of these were illusions. It would never happen. I said no. In the end he said, its okay… I will do anything for you, just tell me what to do. I could not tell him that he has to become a Christian. he already knew this. I would not use his weakness for me to make him take a decision that did not come through conviction and actual search for the Truth…
I was and am Christian. I loved my Lord and danced. One time my boyfriend asked me painfully:“Grace… you love Jesus more than you love me?” I said: of course I do, what do you think?
He could not understand why I was in Church every day…
In the beginning I spoke to him about the Love of God, but he got tired of listening. I knew we had no future because we did not share what was most important…

As for you Zaki. If you are reading along here… at 15 years of age you have to wait for quite a few years before you marry. If you love the girl you will listen to this. Why? because when you are married you will get a sexual life together, then your wife will probably get pregnant. It’s not fair to her, if she does not have a good education and becomes a mature woman before she marries. Also, her rationable parents would object. You are both still children in my world view. I still remember being 15… My mind has changed alot about many things since then… I became a different person almost. When I was 15 I was in love with a guy… today I would have never ever ever fallen for that guy… hehe…

Talk to adults Zaki. Wise ones… openminded and holy and good ones…

Thanks for the advice So maybe I should drop this girl (which won’t happen soon unless she cheats on me or I cheat on her-which won’t happen either bcz we care about each other heaps and if I do drop her soon, it’ll be done with alot of pain).
Btw, good to hear that you have a lot of faith!!!

wasalam

 

[Eleve]

Well you should start caring then shouldn’t you?

I don’t think jakaski means that he/she wouldn’t mind if you went out and got hit by a bus. He/she just doesn’t want to tell you how you ought to live.

 

[ZAKI]

I don’t think jakaski means that he/she wouldn’t mind if you went out and got hit by a bus. He/she just doesn’t want to tell you how you ought to live.

I know. But he shouldn’t know bcz I wanted him to feel bad…ever heard of the complex use of teasing?

wasalam

 

[GraceDK]

Okay. I’ll talk to my dad if I see him tonight and see what he thinks.

Yes sis, I’ll be able to speak with my dad and I’ll talk to the guy that leads the prayers at the musallah.

Thanks for the advice So maybe I should drop this girl (which won’t happen soon unless she cheats on me or I cheat on her-which won’t happen either bcz we care about each other heaps and if I do drop her soon, it’ll be done with alot of pain).
Btw, good to hear that you have a lot of faith!!!

wasalam

As a Christian I dont think its approproate for any young people to be dating at age 15. Dating has the purpose to discern marriage. If its something else, it will only end in pain. Actually ideally, there are two things available only: friendship and courtship. You find out whether this is a girl you really could see your self spending the rest of your life with. If its not, then you should back away. At 15 you should worry about friends, school etc. not dating. 18 is more the right time to start dating because then your brain is fully developed. Even I think 20 is better. Its not now. Also, you speak of marriage at 18. Again I urge you to encourage the woman you will eventually marry to get educated, also beyond the 18th year of life. A good education is priceless.
It might also be good to speak to an adult woman in your circle of family or friends about these issues.

 

[Eleve]

As a Christian I dont think its approproate for any young people to be dating at age 15. Dating has the purpose to discern marriage.

Dating also has the purpose of building strong and enjoyable relationships. It also helps you get better at dating, so that when it is time to discern marriage you will actually be capable of it.

 

[Eucharisted]

I’m violating quite alot of rules here… I don’t know. I need to rethink about my relationship then.
I was thinking about marrying her once we both turned 18, but things may change.

wasalam

Don’t give up love! Perhaps what you need to do is ask your girlfriend if she would be comfortable being Muslim, since Muslims can’t marry non-Muslims. Make sure to explain to her your feelings and any inner conflicts you may be going through. Communication is important in a relationship. Ask her if she has any feelings and inner conflicts too. Pray for God to guide her and comfort her. And most importantly, love her. God may or may not have destined you two to be a couple, but I know He has let her be with you so you can help her be lead by Him to Heaven.

 

[Eleve]

Perhaps what you need to do is ask your girlfriend if she would be comfortable being Muslim, since Muslims can’t marry non-Muslims.

As one young to another, I would strongly suggest that you do not mention marriage. I’m apparently a couple of years your elder, but even at the ripe old age of 17 I would end our relationship post-haste if my (hypothetical ) girlfriend were to bring up marriage plans.