What should I do to be happy?

[Mark86]

I need some spiritual direction I guess.

I’m 29 years old. I have social anxiety disorder and suffer with sexual addiction (impurity with myself). I assent to the teachings of the Church regarding the necessity of sexual purity in every stage of life and I’ve read many books on the subject. I have no friends. I am alone. I hate my sexuality and there’s nothing I can do about it. I hate myself and think it’s just for God to be punishing me like this. I go to confession every week to confess my sexual addiction and feel like God is constantly punishing me for it every day of my life. I’m depressed and feel inadequate in every way and have my entire life to confirm it. I’m a victim of years and years of traumatizing physical and mental abuse perpetrated on me by my father. I cry every day and have prayed for death on occasion. I want to put the talents I have to good use in ministry work, but I don’t know where to start.

What should I do to be happy?

 

[Wyrd]

Remove the blame, both from yourself and others.

 

[Mark86]

Remove the blame, both from yourself and others.

What?

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

Your father loaded shame onto you. (It may have been passed down the family for generations.)

I’m only just relatively free of ours and my parents tried hard to not pass it on to me and I’m 60!

The only three things I can suggest are books for Christians about recovering from these kinds of abuse, cry over and over to God to help you, and find a wholesome, maybe inexpensive hobby you may not have had the opportunity to pursue before.

 

[Allegra]

Find a way to be of service to others. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Hug babies in the NICU. Become a Big Brother. Donate blood. Work at an animal shelter. Do Habitat for Humanity. You’ll feel better.

 

[AttendeDomine]

I hate myself and think it’s just for God to be punishing me like this. I go to confession every week to confess my sexual addiction and feel like God is constantly punishing me for it every day of my life … I’m a victim of years and years of traumatizing physical and mental abuse** perpetrated on me by my father**.

What sticks out for me is that you seem to be making a connection with how your father treated you and how you believe that God is treating you, perhaps conflating the two in a certain sense.

From a spirituality perspective, it would be wise to meditate on some of God’s attributes, especially those which communicate His great mercy and His great love for you, and how those two things can come together in the form of healing. Cultivating gratitude can work wonders insofar as seeing God’s love and mercy at work in your life.

It would likewise be good to meditate on the crucifix, and to understand that what you see is the result of doing God’s will while keeping in mind that His will always “flows from” His love and mercy (so much as “fluidity” can be possible in eternity).

It might also be a good idea to analyze how prone you are to give in to small pleasures each day, and to begin to mortify them in simple ways. Don’t forget to look for pleasures in even unfamiliar forms and places — a lot of people can find a lot of pleasure even from things like indulging in anger or sadness. It can sometimes be more difficult to give those things up, because of hidden pleasure we get from them, than it is to live with them.

 

[Karen107]

Mark have you considered therapy possibly someone who would encourage your faith…

 

[fred_conty]

I’m sorry to hear of your struggles Mark. Sometimes it can seem to be so overwhelming and like there are no advances. And it isn’t easy to carry on.

I have noticed in my own life that there are no quick fixes. But there is a pattern to make headway if I follow it.

The first is to recognize that I am completely … completely … dependent on Jesus and his mercy. The only way to get hold of a situation is to go to Jesus, and lovingly beg for his help. I have found in doing this that he is very generous and giving. But it does require patience on our part for him to send us someone, or place us at the right time somewhere, or give us the right info, and so on. He won’t let you down if you ask and beg him in a loving way. If he created the universe I would think he would have a solution(s) to your problem(s) as well. But it is important that we cannot do it on our own. We need him.

Remember Peter in the boat and seeing Jesus walking on water. Peter asked and Jesus said come. Peter walked on the water until … he didn’t rely on Jesus any longer because fear drove out the trust. And that is what fear does … it makes us rely on ourselves and withdraw our trust in Him. We can never do that if we are going to be successful. Jesus is our all. He has all that we need … he alone.

Just tell him that you put your whole body and soul into his custody. That you consecrate your total self to him and that you will never doubt his helping you again. That is a big leap isn’t it from what you are use to doing. Let your trust in him drive out the fear. You are not alone if you bring him into your life.

You are already familiar with the Sacraments so I need not tell you how important those are which Jesus left with us.

Try reading so good spiritual books that will encourage you and give more insight to Jesus. Knowing more leads us to love him more. And that love is a big advantage to living a happy and productive life.

Winners keep swinging. And they don’t worry about tomorrow but just take in one day at a time.

I will remember you in prayer.

 

[josh987654321]

.

.

I second what fred conty has said and I hope you don’t mind if I share some things that I believe may help you.
Jesus to Catalina:

The Passion - loveandmercy.org/Eng-TP-Reg.pdf
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

**Contemplate My wounds and see if there is anyone who has suffered as much as I, to show their love…

Contemplate for a moment these bloodstained hands and feet… This naked body, covered with wounds, with urine, and blood. Dirty… This head punctured by sharp thorns, soaked in sweat, full of dust, and covered in Blood…

Contemplate your Jesus, hanging on the Cross, without being able to make the slightest movement… naked, without fame, without honor, without liberty…

Contemplate Me in the image of the Christ that weeps and bleeds. There and in this way the world has Me.**

http://s24.postimg.org/s91lh9u91/Crucifixion.jpg
The Gospel of Luke:

34 And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments.

Michelangelo’s Prodigal Son Painting
http://s12.postimg.org/90aervl0d/Prodigal_Son.jpg
Jesus to Catalina:

The Passion - loveandmercy.org/Eng-TP-Reg.pdf
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

I want to teach sinners that because they have sinned, they should not distance themselves from Me thinking that they no longer have recourse and that they will never be loved as before they sinned. Poor souls! These are not the feelings of a God who has shed all His Blood for you. Come to Me all of you and fear not, because I love you. I will cleanse you with My Blood and you will be as white as snow. I will drown your sins in the water of My Mercy and nothing will be able to snatch from My Heart the Love that I have for you.

How to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy

Jesus to St Faustina -

"Let the greatest sinners place their trust in My mercy. They have the right before others to trust in the abyss of My mercy. My daughter, write about My mercy towards tormented souls. Souls that make an appeal to My mercy delight Me. To such souls I grant even more graces than they ask. I cannot punish even the greatest sinner if he makes an appeal to My compassion, but on the contrary, I justify him in My unfathomable and inscrutable mercy. Write: before I come as a just Judge, I first open wide the door of My mercy. He who refuses to pass through the door of My mercy must pass through the door of My justice…… (Diary, 1146).

Sacred Heart of Jesus - St Margaret-Mary Alacoque

http://s15.postimg.org/uc0cy5a0r/st_margaretmary2.jpg

Jesus to St Margaret-Mary Alacoque

"Behold the Heart which has so loved men that it has spared nothing, even to exhausting (Crucifixion) and consuming Itself (Last Supper, Eucharist), in order to testify Its love;
Jesus to Catalina:

The Passion - loveandmercy.org/Eng-TP-Reg.pdf
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

13) My children, poor sinners! Do not distance yourselves from Me. I wait for you night and day at the Tabernacle. I will not reproach you for your crimes; I will not throw your sins in your face. What I will do is to wash you with the Blood of My wounds. Do not be afraid; come to Me. You do not know how much I love you.

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[josh987654321]

Jesus to Catalina:

The Passion - loveandmercy.org/Eng-TP-Reg.pdf
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

**1) Nobody really believes that I sweat blood that night at Gethsemane, and few believe that I suffered much more in those hours than in the Crucifixion. It was more sorrowful because it was clearly revealed to Me that the sins of everyone were made Mine and that I should answer for each one. Thus I, being innocent, answered to the Father as if I were really guilty of dishonesty and I, being pure, answered to the Father as if I were stained of all the impurities committed by you, My brothers and sisters. You dishonor God who created you to be instruments of the greatness of Creation and not to stray from the nature given you with the purpose of having it gradually behold the sight of the purity of Me, your Creator.

1. Therefore, I was made a thief, a murderer, an adulterer, a liar, a sacrilegious person, a blasphemer, slanderer and a rebel to the Father whom I have always loved
2. It was precisely this contrast between My Love for the Father and His Will that caused My sweating blood. But I obeyed until the end and for love of everyone, I covered Myself with the stain so that I could do My Father’s Will and save you from eternal damnation.
3. Consider how many agonies more than human I had that night and, believe Me, nobody could alleviate such anguish because, on the contrary, I was seeing how each one of you devoted yourself to making cruel at every moment the death given to Me because of the offenses whose ransom I have paid in full. I want it to be known once again how I loved all mankind at that hour of abandonment and indescribable sadness…**

http://s9.postimg.org/66ompoefj/Jesus_in_the_Garden.jpg
Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich:

Chapter 1 - Jesus in the Garden of Olives - jesus-passion.com/THE_PASSION.htm#CHAPTER
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur and Nihil Obstat)

He fell on his face, overwhelmed with unspeakable sorrow, and all the sins of the world displayed themselves before him, under countless forms and in all their real deformity. He took them all upon himself, and in his prayer offered his own adorable Person to the justice of his Heavenly Father, in payment for so awful a debt. But Satan, who was enthroned amid all these horrors, and even filled with diabolical joy at the sight of them, let loose his fury against Jesus, and displayed before the eyes of his soul increasingly awful visions, at the same time addressing his adorable humanity in words such as these: ‘Takest thou even this sin upon thyself? Art thou willing to bear its penalty? Art thou prepared to satisfy for all these sins?’

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[josh987654321]

Michelangelo’s Denial of Peter Painting
http://s16.postimg.org/guz9r55yt/DT4190.jpg
Jesus to Catalina:

The Great Crusade of Mercy - loveandmercy.org/Eng-CM-Reg.pdf
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

**1) My child, I have prayed for you and for all at Gethsemane; I have not forgotten anyone because all were united to Me in a mysterious but real embrace. I have desired and needed to pray, since I had firmly in mind the fact that, notwithstanding My invitation repeated several times, you would not have prayed as much as I wish. Therefore, I lovingly humbled Myself and I prayed for you as much as the Son of God made man could possibly do.

1. It is example that counts. It is hard for you to follow Me because you do not love Me enough or because [you think] I am indifferent to you, as if I were not your Redeemer, as if your salvation depended not on Me, but on others.
2. If I have said “Pray”, I have also specified to Peter and the other Apostles that they should pray with Me. I knew, and I know what it meant to ask them to pray, and I have offered Myself to keep them company so that praying would be less difficult, more accepted and more attractive.
3. Remember and think about the fact that it was at Gethsemane that I have asked them to pray with Me. I did not ask them to do so Tabor but at Gethsemane, and you should understand why. But if you are not awake, attentive and watching, how can you possibly pray with Me? You are overcome by sleep, and you also will sleep and be assailed by temptation, because you have not accepted My invitation to pray with Me.
4. Ah, Peter, Peter! What an example of human frailty you have left to the world that does not yet understand the great misery you suffered then at that time! You were ready to die for Me and [yet] you put yourself before all, demonstrating the pride you were filled with then. “The others, yes,” you said, “but I will not betray you.” And instead, the others did not fall as low as you fell. They were fainthearted but they did not deny Me as openly, as you have done, My Peter. And why was that?
5. Because you did not remain with Me praying, so My enemy made you fall by making use of some poor people, but above all because of your failure to be united with Me.
6. Peter! Peter of My Heart! Oh, My little and most beloved Peter! Throughout the entire world until the end of time your weakness and My Mercy will be alluded to. But all those who wish to follow Me: reflect on the fact that the triple fall of Peter arose from the vanity that separated him from Me, and which prevented him from praying, because those who believe they need help, do pray, and not those who are vain enough to think themselves strong.
7. What do you want Me to add for you? I have given you an example; I have made clear to you why people fall into the temptation of the flesh and the spirit.
8. Remain with Me. Let us pray together, that is, I will pray in you and for you, since that is really the meaning of My request. I assure you that you will be heard and at the same time, you will be protected.**

Jesus to St. Faustina -

"The cause of your falls is that you rely too much upon yourself and too little on Me. But let this not sadden you so much. You are dealing with the God of mercy, which your misery cannot exhaust." (Diary, 1488)

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[josh987654321]

Extract from the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska:

Diary of Saint Faustina - liturgicalyear.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/divine-mercy-in-my-soul.pdf

The Goodness of God.

1485 The mercy of God, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament, the voice of the Lord who speaks to us from the throne of mercy: Come to Me, all of you.

Jesus: Be not afraid of your Savior; O sinful soul. I make the first move to come to you, for I know that by yourself you are unable to lift yourself to me. Child, do not run away from your Father; be willing to talk openly with your God of mercy who wants to speak words of pardon and lavish his graces on you. How dear your soul is to Me! I have inscribed your name upon My hand; you are engraved as a deep wound in My Heart.

Soul: Lord, I hear your voice calling me to turn back from the path of sin, but I have neither the strength nor the courage to do so.

Jesus:** I am your strength, I will help you in the struggle.**

Soul: Lord, I recognize your holiness, and I fear You.

Jesus: My child, do you fear the God of mercy? My holiness (80) does not prevent Me from being merciful. Behold, for you I have established a throne of mercy on earth – the tabernacle – and from this throne I desire to enter into your heart. I am not surrounded by a retinue or guards. You can come to me at any moment, at any time; I want to speak to you and desire to grant you grace.

Soul: Lord, I doubt that You will pardon my numerous sins; my misery fills me with fright.

Jesus: My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of my goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed myself to be nailed to the cross; for you I let my Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with Me about your wretchedness. You will give me pleasure if you hand over to me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace.

(81) Soul: You have conquered, O Lord, my stony heart with Your goodness. In trust and humility I approach the tribunal of Your mercy, where You Yourself absolve me by the hand of your representative. O Lord, I feel Your grace and Your peace filling my poor soul. I feel overwhelmed by Your mercy, O lord. You forgive me, which is more than I dared to hope for or could imagine. Your goodness surpasses all my desires. And now, filled with gratitude for so many graces, I invite You to my heart. I wandered, like a prodigal child gone astray; but you did not cease to be my Father. Increase Your mercy toward me, for You see how weak I am.

Jesus: Child, speak no more of your misery; it is already forgotten. Listen, My child, to what I desire to tell you. Come close to My wounds and draw from the Fountain of Life whatever your heart desires. Drink copiously from the Fountain of Life and you will not weary on your journey. Look at the splendors of My Mercy and do not fear the enemies of your salvation. Glorify My mercy.

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[josh987654321]

Extract from the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska:

Diary of Saint Faustina - liturgicalyear.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/divine-mercy-in-my-soul.pdf

Conversation of the Merciful God With a Despairing Soul.

1486 Jesus: O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy.

– But the soul, deaf even to this appeal, wraps itself in darkness.

Jesus calls out again: My child, listen to the voice of your merciful Father.

– In the soul arises this reply: “For me there is no mercy,” and it falls into greater darkness, a despair which is a foretaste of hell and makes it unable to draw near God.

Jesus calls to the soul a third time, but the soul remains deaf and blind, hardened and despairing. Then the mercy of God begins to exert itself, and, without any co-operation from the soul, God grants it final grace. If this too is spurned, God will leave the soul in this self-chosen disposition for eternity. This grace emerges from the merciful Heart of Jesus and gives the soul a special light by means of which the soul begins to understand (83) God’s effort; but conversion depends on its own will. The soul knows that this, for her, is final grace and, should it show even a flicker of good will, the mercy of God will accomplish the rest.

My omnipotent mercy is active here. Happy the soul that takes advantage of this grace.

Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.

Soul (as if awaking, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there yet is mercy for me?

Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.

Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.

Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does – that after so many efforts of My (84) love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness.

Soul: O Lord, save me Yourself, for I perish. Be my Savior. O Lord, I am unable to say anything more; my pitiful heart is torn asunder; but You, O Lord……

Jesus does not let the soul finish but, raising it from the ground, from the depths of its misery, he leads it into the recesses of His Heart where all its sins disappear instantly, consumed by the flames of love.

Jesus: Here, soul, are all the treasures of My Heart. Take everything you need from it.

Soul: O Lord, I am inundated with Your grace. I sense that a new life has entered into me and, above all, I feel Your love in my heart. That is enough for me. O Lord, I will glorify the omnipotence of Your mercy for all eternity. Encouraged by Your goodness, I will confide to You all the sorrows of my heart.

Jesus: Tell me all, My child, hide nothing from Me, because My loving Heart, the Heart of your Best Friend, is listening to you.

Soul: O Lord, now I see all my ingratitude and Your goodness. You were pursuing me with Your grace, while I was frustrating Your benevolence. I see that I deserve (85) the depths of hell for spurning Your graces. Jesus (interrupting): Do not be absorbed in your misery – you are still too weak to speak of it – but, rather; gaze on My Heart filled with goodness, and be imbued with My sentiments. Strive for meekness and humility; be merciful to others, as I am to you; and, when you feel your strength failing, if you come to the fountain of mercy to fortify your soul, you will not grow weary on your journey.

Soul: Now I understand Your mercy, which protects me, and like a brilliant star, leads me into the home of my Father, protecting me from the horrors of hell that I have deserved, not once, but a thousand times. O Lord, eternity will hardly suffice for me to give due praise to Your unfathomable mercy and Your compassion for me.

Please continue to next post -

 

[josh987654321]

Extract from the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska:

Diary of Saint Faustina - liturgicalyear.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/divine-mercy-in-my-soul.pdf

Conversation of the Merciful God with a Suffering Soul

1487 Jesus: Poor soul, I see that you suffer much and that you do not have even the strength to converse with me. So I will speak to you. Even though your sufferings were (86) very great, do not lose heart or give in to despondency. But tell Me, my child, who has dared to wound your heart? Tell me about everything, be sincere in dealing with Me, reveal all the wounds of your heart. I will heal them, and your suffering will become a source of your sanctification.

Soul: Lord, my sufferings are so great and numerous and have lasted so long that I become discouraged.

Jesus: My child, do not be discouraged. I know your boundless trust in Me; I know you are aware of My goodness and mercy. Let us talk in detail about everything that weighs so heavily upon your heart.

Soul: There are so many different things that I do not know what to speak about first, nor how to express it.

Jesus: Talk to Me simply, as a friend to a friend. Tell Me now, My child, what hinders you from advancing in holiness?

Soul: Poor health detains me on the way to holiness. I cannot fulfill my duties. I am as useless as an extra wheel on a wagon. I cannot mortify myself or fast to any extent, as the saints did. (87) Furthermore, nobody believes I am sick, so that mental pain is added to those of the body, and I am often humiliated. Jesus, how can anyone become holy in such circumstances?

Jesus:** True, my child, all that is painful. But there is no way to heaven except the way of the cross. I followed it first. You must learn that it is the shortest and surest way.**

Soul: Lord, there is another obstacle on the road to holiness. Because I am faithful to You, I am persecuted and suffer much.

Jesus: It is because you are not of this world that the world hates you. First it persecuted Me. Persecution is a sign that you are following in My footsteps faithfully.

Soul: My Lord, I am also discouraged because neither my superiors nor my confessor understand my interior trials. A darkness clouds my mind. How can I advance? All this discourages me from striving for the heights of sanctity.

Jesus: Well, My child, this time you have told Me a good deal. I realize how painful it is not to be (88) understood, and especially by those whom one loves and with whom one has been very open. But suffice it to know that I understand all your troubles and misery. I am pleased by the deep faith you have, despite everything, in My representatives. Learn from this that no one will understand a soul entirely – that is beyond human ability. Therefore, I have remained on earth to comfort your aching heart and to fortify your soul, so that you will not falter on the way. You say that a dense darkness is obscuring your mind. But why, at such times, do you not come to Me, the light who can in an instant pour into your soul more understanding about holiness than can be found in any books? No confessor is capable of teaching and enlightening a soul in this way.

Know, too, that the darkness about which you complain I first endured in the Garden of Olives when My Soul was crushed in mortal anguish. I am giving you a share in those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am (89) intending for you in heaven. A suffering soul is closest to My Heart.

Soul: One more thing, Lord. What should I do when I am ignored and rejected by people, especially by those on whom I had a right to count in times of greatest need?

Jesus:** My child, make the resolution never to rely on people. Entrust yourself completely to My will saying, “Not as I want, but according to Your will, O God, let it be done unto me.” These words, spoken from the depths of one’s heart, can raise a soul to the summit of sanctity in a short time. In such a soul I delight. Such a soul gives Me glory. Such a soul fills heaven with the fragrance of her virtue. But understand that the strength by which you bear sufferings comes from frequent Communions. So approach this fountain of mercy often, to draw with the vessel of trust whatever you need.**

Soul: Thank You, Lord, for Your goodness in remaining with us in this exile as the God of mercy (90) and blessing us with the radiance of Your compassion and goodness. It is through the light of Your mercy that I have come to understand how much You love me.

Please continue to next post -

 

[josh987654321]

Extract from the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska:

Diary of Saint Faustina - liturgicalyear.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/divine-mercy-in-my-soul.pdf

Conversation of the Merciful God with a Soul Striving after Perfection.

Jesus:** I am pleased with your efforts, O soul aspiring for perfection, but why do I see you so often sad and depressed? Tell Me, My child, what is the meaning of this sadness, and what is its cause?**

Soul: Lord, the reason for my sadness is that, in spite of my sincere resolutions, I fall again into the same faults. I make resolutions in the morning, but in the evenings I see how much I have departed from them.

Jesus: You see, My child, what you are of yourself. The cause of your falls is that you rely too much upon yourself and too little on Me. But let this not sadden you so much. You are dealing with the God of mercy, which your misery cannot exhaust. Remember, I did not allot only a certain number of pardons.

Soul: Yes, I know all that, (91) but great temptations assail me, and various doubts awaken within me and, moreover, everything irritates and discourages me.

Jesus: My child, know that the greatest obstacles to holiness are discouragement and an exaggerated anxiety. These will deprive you of the ability to practice virtue. All temptations united together ought not disturb your interior peace, not even momentarily. Sensitiveness and discouragement are the fruits of self-love. You should not become discouraged, but strive to make My love reign in place of your self-love. Have confidence, My child. Do not lose heart in coming for pardon, for I am always ready to forgive you. As often as you beg for it, you glorify My mercy.

Soul: I understand what is the better thing to do, what pleases You more, but I encounter great obstacles in acting on this understanding.

Jesus: My child, life on earth is a struggle indeed; a great struggle for My kingdom. But fear not, because you are not alone. I am always supporting you, (92) so lean on Me as you struggle, fearing nothing. Take the vessel of trust and draw from the fountain of life – for yourself, but also for other souls, especially such as are distrustful of My goodness.

Soul: O Lord, I feel my heart being filled with Your love and the rays of Your mercy and love piercing my soul. I go, Lord, at Your command. I go to conquer souls. Sustained by Your grace, I am ready to follow You, Lord, not only to Tabor, but also to Calvary. I desire to lead souls to the fount of Your mercy so that the splendor of Your mercy may be reflected in all souls, and the home of our Father be filled to overflowing. And when the enemy begins to attack me, I shall take refuge behind the shield of Your mercy.

Divine Mercy Image - St. Faustina

http://s28.postimg.org/746uzccbx/Divine_Mercy.jpg

"…when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrents of grace inundate humble souls." (Diary, 1603).

I hope this has helped

God Bless You

Josh

 

[Mark86]

So what should I do to be happy?

Practically, as in, what should I do tomorrow.

As much as “trust in God” and “let Him into your life” sounds very nice and poetic… I don’t know how to sit around and “trust” and sit around and “let” … if you get what I mean.

Nothing has worked so far. Doors shut everywhere I go, and it seems sometimes all I can do is just backslide back into the old habits because God isn’t opening ANY new ones to me. That’s why I prayed for death.

 

[josh987654321]

So what should I do to be happy?

Practically, as in, what should I do tomorrow.

As much as “trust in God” and “let Him into your life” sounds very nice and poetic… I don’t know how to sit around and “trust” and sit around and “let” … if you get what I mean.

Nothing has worked so far. Doors shut everywhere I go, and it seems sometimes all I can do is just backslide back into the old habits because God isn’t opening ANY new ones to me. That’s why I prayed for death.

Pick up some rosaries beads (or just use your fingers if you don’t have any) and pray with me, from your heart “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus, Holy Mary mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death,” and keep going until you feel better, until you feel His grace pervailing, with humility and persistence, plead with your father in heaven, acknowledging our own weakness, failings and unworthiness and asking humbly for aid.

Jesus to Catalina -
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

"I greatly approve of humble prayer, that is, prayer that is based on your inability to understand and desire what is the right thing, what is pleasing to Me."

And when you get a chance, to simply visit him in the Tabernacle and your local Catholic Church if you can.

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

 

[Mark86]

Pick up some rosaries beads (or just use your fingers if you don’t have any) and pray with me, from your heart “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus, Holy Mary mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death,” and keep going until you feel better, until you feel His grace pervailing, with humility and persistence, plead with your father in heaven, acknowledging our own weakness, failings and unworthiness and asking humbly for aid.

Jesus to Catalina -
(Roman Catholic Imprimatur)

"I greatly approve of humble prayer, that is, prayer that is based on your inability to understand and desire what is the right thing, what is pleasing to Me."

And when you get a chance, to simply visit him in the Tabernacle and your local Catholic Church if you can.

God Bless You

Thank you for reading
Josh

These things are just not enough. I’ve been doing them for years and I still masturbate every day.

If anything I need to GET ACTIVE and meet people. Don’t you think?

How is isolation going to be beaten by praying alone and going to adoration alone? Isn’t there some charity I could go help out with or something?

Please forgive me for saying this, and I mean this with upmost respect for the piety I witness in our elder Catholic brothers and sisters… but I’m not a “little old lady.” I can still do some “heavy lifting” for the Church (if you catch my drift), and that is what I desire to do most. I can do ministry. I can do missionary stuff even… I just need the chance. I just need someone to talk to about when and how and where to get started. I’m serious… If the Church needs me in Kenya, I’ll go… I need something to DO with my life though.

God has made me very very aware that mine is not a vocation to sitting around, since I am way more prone to idleness and masturbation than I am at “picking up a rosary.”

Let me get busy, is all I ask.

There’s got to be more to life than this devotional stuff to FILL TIME before death.

 

[Eduardo06sp]

I feel like you will benefit greatly from joining a group at your nearest church. Usually they meet up weekly and from what I’ve experienced, have plenty events throughout the year. Stay great, and remember, drastic changes don’t occur overnight!

 

[Mark86]

I feel like you will benefit greatly from joining a group at your nearest church. Usually they meet up weekly and from what I’ve experienced, have plenty events throughout the year. Stay great, and remember, drastic changes don’t occur overnight!

I tried to join a young adult group but I can never attend because I work.

They only meet once a month and my work denied me the day, so I couldn’t go. I got so upset over it I promptly fell back into sexual impurity and asked God for death.

So there you have it. There’s me trying and failing to be holy.