What should I do?

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scc11

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Hi Guys,
I just found out one of my best friends is gay. What do I do?
I know our faith does not teach this is right and I agree 100%. However our faith also teaches we should not judge others. This persons knows my stance on it but I feel I should be there for the no matter what seeing as they are one of my best friends and Ive known them almost my entire life. It does not change how I see or feel about them.
Thoughts, advice, etc?
 
Treat him as you’ve always treated him: with respect and love. Being gay is not something to be ostracized for (nor is a sin by any means), and he already knows your views on the subject. Be a good friend, because that is what God calls us to be, a loving and kind neighbor. Being gay and acting on one’s homosexuality with another person are entirely different concepts. But, remember, you do not have to agree with someone’s behavior to care about them as a person.
 
scc11 said:
Hi Guys,
I just found out one of my best friends is gay. What do I do?
I know our faith does not teach this is right and I agree 100%. However our faith also teaches we should not judge others. This persons knows my stance on it but I feel I should be there for the no matter what seeing as they are one of my best friends and Ive known them almost my entire life. It does not change how I see or feel about them.
Thoughts, advice, etc?
Click to expand...
Same thing I did when my brother told me he was sleeping around- love him anyway. Not approving of his actions (and he knows my stance on the issue) has no bearing on my love for him.
 
You don’t have to condone someone’s choices in order to be friends with them; otherwise, we’d all be pretty lonely. Just go on being their friend.
 
scc11 said:
Hi Guys,
I just found out one of my best friends is gay. What do I do?
I know our faith does not teach this is right and I agree 100%. However our faith also teaches we should not judge others. This persons knows my stance on it but I feel I should be there for the no matter what seeing as they are one of my best friends and Ive known them almost my entire life. It does not change how I see or feel about them.
Thoughts, advice, etc?
Click to expand...
Stay friends and be supportive. Gay people don’t have any choice and often in youth could feel discriminated, isolated, and ostracized by others. Besides, does the message of hate many so-called Christians carry against gay people fit with the message of love our Lord teaches?

God Bless.
 
scc11 said:
Hi Guys,
I just found out one of my best friends is gay. What do I do?
Click to expand...
I think that will largely depend upon your friend.

One of my grade school through high school friends (male) “came out” to me (female) when we were in our early 20s. (I was not Catholic at the time) At first things were no different. We would still meet for lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant, or I’d hang out with him at his mom’s house when he came to our hometown, etc. But then he instead of going to our favorite Mexican place, he’d say “meet me at X” and “X” was a gay bar, which I was not comfortable in. Or he’d start talking about things I had no desire to hear about.

So, we grew apart and stopped hanging out. It happens.
scc11 said:
I feel I should be there for the no matter what seeing as they are one of my best friends and Ive known them almost my entire life.
Click to expand...
Well, I think there are many friendships that go their separate ways as we grow older. You are not obligated to be friends with this person, or anyone else, just because you have been friends “forever”. There are people I was “best” friends with in high school, college, etc, and I haven’t seen them in 20 years and don’t have anything in common with them any longer.
scc11 said:
It does not change how I see or feel about them.
Thoughts, advice, etc?
Click to expand...
Only time will tell.
 
Where did u ever get the idea the church teaches not to Judge?

We should not Judge in being hypocritical
 
Jesus defended and be-friended Mary of Magdalene, not in spite of her sexual history but for the love in HIS heart. She saw it, reached for it and was grateful for it because HE loved her, sins and all.
As HE loves us, sins and all.
Can anyone of us cast the first stone?
 
Jesus did not condemn the woman that was to be stoned for her sins. He did, however, say - go and sin no more.

That little detail is conveniently forgotten by all the apologists of the alternative life styles.
 
IronMIke said:
Where did u ever get the idea the church teaches not to Judge?

We should not Judge in being hypocritical
Click to expand...
Im sorry but where did you get this idea that the church teaches us to judge others in any situation? In fact the church and jesus in the bible teaches the exact opposite.
 
Ontheway said:
Jesus did not condemn the woman that was to be stoned for her sins. He did, however, say - go and sin no more.

That little detail is conveniently forgotten by all the apologists of the alternative life styles.
Click to expand...
I never said He condemned the woman, I said HE saw her and defended her, for her sins were no greater than the ones throwing the stones.
Do you remember that as well?
 
scc11 said:
Hi Guys,
I just found out one of my best friends is gay. What do I do?
I know our faith does not teach this is right and I agree 100%. However our faith also teaches we should not judge others. This persons knows my stance on it but I feel I should be there for the no matter what seeing as they are one of my best friends and Ive known them almost my entire life. It does not change how I see or feel about them.
Thoughts, advice, etc?
Click to expand...
Be his friend and pray for his soul.
 
On judging,

"Many Catholics, foolishly supposing association with heresy to be harmless, have been infected by it and are constantly reducing the true dogma of the Church, as well as extracts from Holy Scripture, to the force of mere slogans. One of the favorite quotations of these liberal Catholics is, “Judge not,” probably the most maligned of all Scriptural quotations.

But how many of the people who use this quotation so glibly have read it in context? Probably very few. Otherwise it is hard to see how they could make such a diabolically perverse interpretation. The text is from the last part of the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. VII, 1). Just a few verses farther on Our Lord tells us not to cast our pearls before swine. How are we to obey this commandment unless we judge which men are swine? And again in the same chapter Our Lord says, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in the clothing of sheep, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” How are we to beware of these false prophets unless we first judge them to be so? Next Our Lord says, “By their fruits you shall know them.” Would he give us the means for judging if He wanted us not to judge? There are many paradoxes in the Bible, but no contradictions."

This is part of an larger piece that can be found below. Please have a look.

catholicism.org/judging-others.html
 
chaldobyzantine said:
Stay friends and be supportive. Gay people don’t have any choice and often in youth could feel discriminated, isolated, and ostracized by others. Besides, does the message of hate many so-called Christians carry against gay people fit with the message of love our Lord teaches?

God Bless.
Click to expand...
Im sorry but homosexual people do have a choice.Theres always a choice to be made of whether to follow god and his commands or not. God made men and women for a reason its part of the natural laws god created for us. What he does not teach is hurting homosexual people, god is to be the judge of all. But what we cant do is support homosexual lifestyle and say its ok just like its not ok for me to sin and when I do I have to ask for forgiveness repent and make the effort to sin no more . If we say that they dont have a choice and god made them this way why would they ever change or want to change and why would they ask for forgiveness and how can they reach heaven if they dont just like I cant reach heaven if Im not repentent for the things ive done so really whos the one thats hating if through there choice they cant reach heaven and we say nothing.
 
Love him anyway. Be there for him. He is going to have a rough road ahead of him.
 
scc11 said:
Hi Guys,
I just found out one of my best friends is gay. What do I do?
I know our faith does not teach this is right and I agree 100%. However our faith also teaches we should not judge others. This persons knows my stance on it but I feel I should be there for the no matter what seeing as they are one of my best friends and Ive known them almost my entire life. It does not change how I see or feel about them.
Thoughts, advice, etc?
Click to expand...
Just act the same way you always have acted around him. 🙂 Don’t try to preach to him or try to change him, just let your light shine and avoid discussing the morality of it with him completely.
 
Ontheway said:
On judging,

"Many Catholics, foolishly supposing association with heresy to be harmless, have been infected by it and are constantly reducing the true dogma of the Church, as well as extracts from Holy Scripture, to the force of mere slogans. One of the favorite quotations of these liberal Catholics is, “Judge not,” probably the most maligned of all Scriptural quotations.

But how many of the people who use this quotation so glibly have read it in context? Probably very few. Otherwise it is hard to see how they could make such a diabolically perverse interpretation. The text is from the last part of the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. VII, 1). Just a few verses farther on Our Lord tells us not to cast our pearls before swine. How are we to obey this commandment unless we judge which men are swine? And again in the same chapter Our Lord says, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in the clothing of sheep, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” How are we to beware of these false prophets unless we first judge them to be so? Next Our Lord says, “By their fruits you shall know them.” Would he give us the means for judging if He wanted us not to judge? There are many paradoxes in the Bible, but no contradictions."

This is part of an larger piece that can be found below. Please have a look.

catholicism.org/judging-others.html
Click to expand...
Dont you think theres a difference in in discerning right from wrong and judging others if you judge others you condemn them for sinning when all men are sinners but if you respectfully confront someone for sinning and the hope that the will change this is not judging. I think were almost trying to say the same thing in different ways though it just hard to see what people mean through typing.
 
scc11 said:
Hi Guys,
I just found out one of my best friends is gay. What do I do?
I know our faith does not teach this is right and I agree 100%. However our faith also teaches we should not judge others. This persons knows my stance on it but I feel I should be there for the no matter what seeing as they are one of my best friends and Ive known them almost my entire life. It does not change how I see or feel about them.
Thoughts, advice, etc?
Click to expand...
I bicycled south to San Diego several years ago. When I arrived I telephoned home to get my cousin Dennis’ address. “You know he is a homosexual, don’t you?” said my mother.

“No”, said I and it did not matter because I liked cousin Dennis from all our conversations at family reunions. Dennis was a well spoken kind soul. He let me stay at his place, but only for one night. You see he was so worried that some how I would contract the HIV virus that he had. A few years later Dennis did die from the disease. Dennis made some bad choices as have I. Unfortunately Dennis’ bad choice cost him his life.

I did not get to see Dennis on a daily basis nor did I know about him being homosexual until that summer. So in your case it might be different if you are around your friend all the time. Will this friendship put you in a place where you will be condoning sin? I think that is the question I would ask myself.

How long have you been friends?

God Bless
 
Delaine75 said:
Love him anyway. Be there for him. He is going to have a rough road ahead of him.
Click to expand...
Couldn’t have said it better. Partially because of my own wounds growing up, I have deep-felt empathy for these people. Kyrie eleison.
 
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