What should I do?

  • Thread starter Thread starter abelin
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abelin said:
you’re right I should address this but she might be pregnant
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It doesn’t matter if she’s pregnant; it doesn’t matter if they look happy together; they are still doing the wrong thing in many different ways. They are hurting you and any siblings you may have, and they are hurting your mother, and they are hurting any potential or actual children they may have together.

And most of all, they are hurting God. And their own souls, risking eternity in Hell.
abelin said:
I know he wouldn’t believe me. I want to speak to either my priest or paternal auntie but I’m scared
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Go talk with your aunt. Yes, naturally you feel nervous, but that is totally normal. Confrontation with people is nerve-wracking. Your aunt knows your father pretty well, so she should be able to help you.

However! Absolutely do not tell your mother!!! There is no need for her to know. And your father should not tell her either, because he would probably only be telling her out of guilt.

I cannot imagine that your priest would spread this information around town unless he is unusual and flawed. Priests are trained to counsel people, and they know they are supposed to keep secrets. So unless you know for a fact that he spreads gossip or he drinks too much or something, he could be a back-up for your aunt.

Also, the fact that your father’s mistress told you the your father bought her the dress indicates to me that she is trying to steal your father away from your family. Women will put that kind of blatant information out there in the hopes that it would get back to your mother.

Also, don’t worry too much about the pregnancy. It wouldn’t be the first time a woman has lied that she was pregnant to get her lover to leave his wife. OTOH, she also may be, but you still don’t have to worry about it, because she went into this with uer eyes open…
 
St_Francis said:
It doesn’t matter if she’s pregnant; it doesn’t matter if they look happy together; they are still doing the wrong thing in many different ways. They are hurting you and any siblings you may have, and they are hurting your mother, and they are hurting any potential or actual children they may have together.

And most of all, they are hurting God. And their own souls, risking eternity in Hell.

Also, the fact that your father’s mistress told you the your father bought her the dress indicates to me that she is trying to steal your father away from your family. Women will put that kind of blatant information out there in the hopes that it would get back to your mother.

Really, I thought she was just trying to make small talk
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abelin said:
… to my dismay I found so many indecent photos of his colleague on his email. Many of them were naked and seductive poses seemingly directed towards him.And I’m ashamed to say a few were of them engaged in fornication. Moreover, there was another email confirming the order of a pregnancy test!
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Really, I thought she was just trying to make small talk
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You gotta be kidding me…
 
R1ch4rd said:
You gotta be kidding me…
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He’s still a kid! When I told my husband that the reason a woman we knew was running me down to him was that she was trying to steal him away from me, he was astonished, and almost twice Abelin’s age. Some people are sort of naturally innocent.

Let’s try to take it easy on him.
 
abelin said:
Really, I thought she was just trying to make small talk
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Abelin, I think you felt uneasy but it is rather devastating to consider that one’s own father might be having an affair.

Pray, and if you can, have a Mass offered up for your father. I hope that your discussion with him, with or without the help of your aunt or priest, will show your father the error of his ways and lead him to stop.

Prayers here too for you and your family.
 
You should just confront Her and tell her to keep away your dad should sever all contact, if indeed necessary and as a last resort you should tell your mother of this, perhaps though you should speak to your priest first, and do not worry he will not tell everyone in your parish of this.
 
KnightofSilence said:
You should just confront Her and tell her to keep away your dad should sever all contact, if indeed necessary and as a last resort you should tell your mother of this, perhaps though you should speak to your priest first, and do not worry he will not tell everyone in your parish of this.
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But she’s probably pregnant and that gives her a reason
 
abelin said:
But she’s probably pregnant and that gives her a reason
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If she is indeed pregnant then this will bring much trouble and complications I think it would be a good idea for you to speak to your priest trust me they are here to serve and should have no hesitations of helping you.
 
St_Francis said:
Abelin, I think you felt uneasy but it is rather devastating to consider that one’s own father might be having an affair.

Pray, and if you can, have a Mass offered up for your father. I hope that your discussion with him, with or without the help of your aunt or priest, will show your father the error of his ways and lead him to stop.

Prayers here too for you and your family.
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I know it’s so obvious but they really do love each other with conflicts with my views regarding fidelity
 
abelin said:
I know it’s so obvious but they really do love each other with conflicts with my views regarding fidelity
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Fidelity means being faithful, not being romantic. Your father took a vow to love and honor your mother. This means so much more than his being attracted to another woman.

And what is love? It is wanting what is best for the other. If your father truly loves this woman, he would not be endangering her soul by commiting adultery with her. If he loved her, he would not have put her in the situation that she may be finding herself in now, unwed and pregnant. This is not love, this is selfish lust.

Talk to a trusted adult about this today. A pastor, an aunt, whoever. This is too much for a kid to handle on his own.
 
nodito said:
Fidelity means being faithful, not being romantic. Your father took a vow to love and honor your mother. This means so much more than his being attracted to another woman.

And what is love? It is wanting what is best for the other. If your father truly loves this woman, he would not be endangering her soul by commiting adultery with her. If he loved her, he would not have put her in the situation that she may be finding herself in now, unwed and pregnant. This is not love, this is selfish lust.

Talk to a trusted adult about this today. A pastor, an aunt, whoever. This is too much for a kid to handle on his own.
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You’re so right. I’ve texted my aunt she’s coming round
 
abelin said:
I know it’s so obvious but they really do love each other with conflicts with my views regarding fidelity
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Is this a cultural belief - are you part of a culture that accepts mistresses? I notice you give you location as London and I know that in Europe there are many cultures that have an acceptance of keeping a mistress - look at Prince Charles for one example.
 
TheRealJuliane said:
Is this a cultural belief - are you part of a culture that accepts mistresses? I notice you give you location as London and I know that in Europe there are many cultures that have an acceptance of keeping a mistress - look at Prince Charles for one example.
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I should have clarified- whilst they love each other i feel this is against my belief that fidelity is key in marriage
 
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