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Arizona_Fat_Gir
Guest
Is he registered as a sex offender?
If so, he is prohibited by law from being near children.
If so, he is prohibited by law from being near children.
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Irishmom2
Guest
I don’t know what state you live in. But you may want to check in your county/state and see if they have records online. Where I live, anyone can view people’s criminal records.
Your sister has the blinders of Love on and will not be able to see things clearly or honestly. Find out for yourself what his offense was.
I know that you want to keep your children safe, so to do that, never let them be around him without you being there. It’s as simple as that. Do not trust your sister or anyone else.
That being said, I would not stop attending family get togethers or dinners. You should not allow what may be a boyfriend that may disappear one day, to ruin your relationship with your sister or any other member of your family. Keep seeing them, but always, always under your own watchful eyes.
Yes but I’d treat an older teenager that had “consensual” sex with a younger teenager a more lenient sentence than a 22 year old that molested a 12 year old.
There are different degrees of sexual crime. Statutory rape for example. Technically if an 18 year old and a 16 year old have sex. It’s a crime. But that doesn’t take into account the maturity of the 16 year old.
There’s a big difference between a sexual predator and two teenagers.
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Catholic1954
Guest
Juvenile records are usually sealed and not available for public viewing. It is doubtful that he would be prosecuted as a teenager for just having sex with his teenage girlfriend; there is too much of that going on and the courts have a lot worse to worry about. If 9 years probation is ALL he got, then the judge may be giving him a second chance, but wants to keep track of him for a while to make sure he stays out of trouble. Your best bet is to have an authority figure from the family have an honest conversation with him and find out exactly what happened and go from there. It sounds like he may be around for a long time, so it is better to get everything out in the open now. By all means protect your children, no matter what.
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pensmama87
Guest
If he’s registered as a sex offender, his offense should be on the state’s Megan’s Law website.
If he’s not registered and was not charged as an adult, then it may be as you say.
LaughingBoy1503
Well-known member
That is a lame joke
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WJeffrey
Guest
9 years of probation. That tells you all that you need to know. You don’t get 9 years of probation for an innocent youthful indiscretion. Probation can’t be longer than the amount of potential time the criminal can be incarcerated. That means the kid is looking at more than 9 years of prison time if he violates his probation.
A sex offense that sentences more than 9 years in prison for a first offense is a serious felony. It has to be a rape with extenuating circumstances that were awful.
That felon would not be allowed within 10 miles of my kid, if I had one.
Well…you don’t live up to your username.
LaughingBoy1503
Well-known member
You do not know if he has a future or not. Like someone else pointed out, that is a bad thing to say. They are your kids, you have the right to protect them. You do not have the right to demand he never go to your family functions if nobody else objects to him being there. Also you say he pled guilty when he was a teenager… he is STILL a teenager. There is a difference between sexual contact with a minor and say rape, isnt there? Do you know the full story? If you do, do what you think is best. After all, you are just trying to protect your family. This KID is still a KID though. So be nice about it. I spend a lot of time unemployed at 19-20. I am sure lots of people would have said I had no future. But now I have a good career, thanks be to God.
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PolarGuy
Guest
I’m sorry laughingboy, your post smacks of extreme naivety, if not downright foolishness.
The man in question - and say all you want, he’s a man in the eyes of the law - pled GUILTY, I.e., he admitted to “SEXUAL CONTACT WITH A MINOR.” You’re now splitting hairs as if to say, “well, golly gee, it wasn’t rape, was it, so it must have not been nearly so bad!”
Would you want him around your minor children if, “all he did” was, say, pleasure himself to ejaculation while they watched? Or forced them to pleasure him?
Because that’s what “sexual contact with a minor” often means.
And if I’m wrong and it was “less” than that? Then best to err on the side of caution and keep the “unemployed man who pled guilty to sexual contact with a minor” AKA sexual predator AKA evil scumbag far away from kids.
As I said, its naivety in the extreme to think otherwise or “assume he’s a teenager and must not be so bad.” He pled guilty to a serious charge, and if it was your kids around you’d hopefully see it very differently. There’s being catholic, and being “pure heart, empty head.”
The man in question - and say all you want, he’s a man in the eyes of the law - pled GUILTY, I.e., he admitted to “SEXUAL CONTACT WITH A MINOR.” You’re now splitting hairs as if to say, “well, golly gee, it wasn’t rape, was it, so it must have not been nearly so bad!”
Would you want him around your minor children if, “all he did” was, say, pleasure himself to ejaculation while they watched? Or forced them to pleasure him?
Because that’s what “sexual contact with a minor” often means.
And if I’m wrong and it was “less” than that? Then best to err on the side of caution and keep the “unemployed man who pled guilty to sexual contact with a minor” AKA sexual predator AKA evil scumbag far away from kids.
As I said, its naivety in the extreme to think otherwise or “assume he’s a teenager and must not be so bad.” He pled guilty to a serious charge, and if it was your kids around you’d hopefully see it very differently. There’s being catholic, and being “pure heart, empty head.”
LaughingBoy1503
Well-known member
That joke was funnier
Lol…glad you appreciate it.That joke was funnier
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sherimarie
Guest
Thank you everyone, so much, for your prayers and advice.
He is 19 now and maintains his innocence, the girl was 10…
10
I don’t care what he did, she was 10. I love the idea of the Dick Cheney treatment. I know it is wrong to think that way…
My sister was very close, she was my sole babysitter and frequently visited my house. I did tell her he wasn’t welcome here until I had a full explanation from him, he just says he knows nothing about the complaint, no names no dates etc. She will not believe he is lying to her. How can that be true?
I didn’t mean to be cruel when I said he had no future, It was more an outlook, he has no job and no ambition, doesn’t even have a drivers license.
I don’t want to condemn any one , This is already creating a huge rift in or family. (again) just got over one and up pops another.
We have an appointment to talk to our priest soon, should I ask him to get my parents to talk to her? Mom has tried, sort of? Or have him do it?
Thanks guys!! Thanks so much, it just feels better to know that people out there care. She has a heart of gold, (part of the problem) and I want to handle this properly so I don’t cause more harm than good.
He is 19 now and maintains his innocence, the girl was 10…
10
I don’t care what he did, she was 10. I love the idea of the Dick Cheney treatment. I know it is wrong to think that way…
My sister was very close, she was my sole babysitter and frequently visited my house. I did tell her he wasn’t welcome here until I had a full explanation from him, he just says he knows nothing about the complaint, no names no dates etc. She will not believe he is lying to her. How can that be true?
I didn’t mean to be cruel when I said he had no future, It was more an outlook, he has no job and no ambition, doesn’t even have a drivers license.
I don’t want to condemn any one , This is already creating a huge rift in or family. (again) just got over one and up pops another.
We have an appointment to talk to our priest soon, should I ask him to get my parents to talk to her? Mom has tried, sort of? Or have him do it?
Thanks guys!! Thanks so much, it just feels better to know that people out there care. She has a heart of gold, (part of the problem) and I want to handle this properly so I don’t cause more harm than good.
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Allegra
Guest
Nobody would plead guilty to arresting a 10 year old if they hadn’t done it. Don’t let the creep into your house. If he’s at someone else’s house, keep your children in your sight at all times.Thank you everyone, so much, for your prayers and advice.
He is 19 now and maintains his innocence, the girl was 10…
10
I don’t care what he did, she was 10. I love the idea of the Dick Cheney treatment. I know it is wrong to think that way…
My sister was very close, she was my sole babysitter and frequently visited my house. I did tell her he wasn’t welcome here until I had a full explanation from him, he just says he knows nothing about the complaint, no names no dates etc. She will not believe he is lying to her. How can that be true?
I didn’t mean to be cruel when I said he had no future, It was more an outlook, he has no job and no ambition, doesn’t even have a drivers license.
I don’t want to condemn any one , This is already creating a huge rift in or family. (again) just got over one and up pops another.
We have an appointment to talk to our priest soon, should I ask him to get my parents to talk to her? Mom has tried, sort of? Or have him do it?
Thanks guys!! Thanks so much, it just feels better to know that people out there care. She has a heart of gold, (part of the problem) and I want to handle this properly so I don’t cause more harm than good.
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sherimarie
Guest
I agree, it had to be something serious. I have been keeping him away from the kids.
Should I be accepting of the situation if she brings him to Mom and Dad’s house? Or should I stay away so that they know I’m not supportive of this mess?
Should I be accepting of the situation if she brings him to Mom and Dad’s house? Or should I stay away so that they know I’m not supportive of this mess?
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sherimarie
Guest
He isn’t registered because he was 17 at the time, we can’t even be told what his terms of probation are.
Seems wrong, we need to know if this is serious.
LaughingBoy1503
Well-known member
What part of “They are your kids, you have the right to protect them” did you not understand? I never said because he is a teenager what he did was not so bad. I said I do not know what he did and asked if the OP knows the full story. He is a kid so she cant say he has no future. THAT was my point.
You really think I would be cool with a predator around my kids?
I am a ex felon and when I was in general population while incarserated I was expected to physically attack any sex offender. And I would have. Never got the chance to, as they are protected pretty well. I have had Gang members show me paper work that they got from police showing that so and so are sex offenders… paper work that cops were only supposed to see. Still wanna call me naive?
Nobody gets to say anyone 19 years old has no future, no matter what his crimes are. Who knows what the person next to you in the pews repented of from his past. Just because a person never got caught does not mean they are good. That is the way I see it. My post did not mean I want to invite sex offenders over and hang with them an trust them around kids. You have me twisted in your mind if that is what you think I said. God bless
Ok…19 and 10. No waaay would I let him near my kids. Whatever about 19 and 16/17.Thank you everyone, so much, for your prayers and advice.
He is 19 now and maintains his innocence, the girl was 10…
10
I don’t care what he did, she was 10. I love the idea of the Dick Cheney treatment. I know it is wrong to think that way…
My sister was very close, she was my sole babysitter and frequently visited my house. I did tell her he wasn’t welcome here until I had a full explanation from him, he just says he knows nothing about the complaint, no names no dates etc. She will not believe he is lying to her. How can that be true?
I didn’t mean to be cruel when I said he had no future, It was more an outlook, he has no job and no ambition, doesn’t even have a drivers license.
I don’t want to condemn any one , This is already creating a huge rift in or family. (again) just got over one and up pops another.
We have an appointment to talk to our priest soon, should I ask him to get my parents to talk to her? Mom has tried, sort of? Or have him do it?
Thanks guys!! Thanks so much, it just feels better to know that people out there care. She has a heart of gold, (part of the problem) and I want to handle this properly so I don’t cause more harm than good.
That’s definitely firmly in the category of “pedophile” in my books.
You’re probably right in that he has not much prospects for the future. I was thinking that it was something like sex with another teenager but you’re well within your rights to be very concerned for your kids safety in this case.
I know what I’d do if it was me.
I’d just find an opportunity to talk to him privately and make it clear that if he so much as looked sideways at my kids then he’d better hope the police arrested him before I got there.
If there’s one thing you can count on it’s that sex abusers of this nature are extremely manipulative. They will find a way to offend if they can. He may never offend again but he’ll always be a risk to children. Protect your kids.
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PolarGuy
Guest
If people want to get all bent out of shape because OP said the pedophile in question has “no future,” they’re wrong to do so. God forgives, but us mere mortals should be exceedingly wary of the man in question…
…who is not a “kid” anyway.
Maybe OP has a future with God, but he doesn’t have one with society, because sexual contact with a 10 year old is enough to be “1 strike and you’re out,” and that’s precisely as it should be.
…who is not a “kid” anyway.
Maybe OP has a future with God, but he doesn’t have one with society, because sexual contact with a 10 year old is enough to be “1 strike and you’re out,” and that’s precisely as it should be.
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Burt_Macklin
Guest
That’s not true. Innocent people plead guilty all the time if the price to try and prove their innocence is set too high.
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