What should you do when you want to hear from / experience God?

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Yes, but also others’ suffering, lack of proof that the Church is correct,
counterarguments to Christian apologetics (that I see when studying
Christian apologetics), and unanswered questions and apparent absurdities
also cause me to doubt Jesus. At this point I am Christian in spite of my
life experience, and it sometimes makes me feel dishonest.
 
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I think it’s “both/and”, not either/or, i.e. not “all my fault” as you suggest. You’re correct that I’m the one choosing to think about God rather than forget about Him, etc. However, God is also responsible for holding me in existence, refusing to do various things that I think would clarify or help me, and allowing and bringing about (by causing to exist) the various experiences I have had.
 
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This is not possible: There is no one in my vicinity here in Japan who can be my spiritual director.
 
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I thought about praying the Rosary after Mass, but they turn off the AC and the church becomes intolerably cold. I still think if we are to call God “Father” then God should help us more: If I pray, I should not be miserable while doing so.

(Japanese buildings tend to lack insulation, and this church was built around 1910, so the windows don’t even fully close; i.e. there’s often millimeter-gaps after you close them. I think Americans don’t realize how poor and small the Japanese Christian population is.)

One of the only thoughts I have about why God keeps us miserable is, “It’s so you’ll have a bigger reward in heaven,” but this idea appears unreasonable since it’s not something a human father would do; to put it another way, it seems contrary to human dignity to cause confusion when a simple explanation could be given; and Jesus choosing to suffer 2,000 years ago to imply to us “it’s worth it” does not appear a sufficient explanation. Literally, it’s ancient history that we’re not even sure is correct.
 
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I am in no way trying to invalidate your feelings or to tell you are wrong with what you’re feeling. That being said, it may be the answer God has given you is no. I have asked God for something for more than 25 years. After this long I am beginning to realize His answer is no, there is a different plan for me.

I done what you have done and begged God to give me what I thought I needed or wanted. At times he lets me have what I thought I wanted or needed and let me suffer the consequences. So now my prayer are prayers of submission, let me do your will God. There are times when I am weak and still ask, but not so much I need the proverbial 2x4 upside the head anymore.
 
Then get one outside of your vicinity. In all charity, I suspect you haven’t even asked your priest how to find one. I also suspect you didn’t replace your rosary with more tangible acts of good. I think you just stopped. You are good at reasoning, and at excuse making. Start doing. At a minimum, read Fr. Spitzer’s recent quartet, in particular vol. 4.
 
🙂 Our lives appear to be very different, indeed. I read Spitzer’s worthless /New Proofs/ book a while back, and he ignored my request for a refund after Catholic Answers shilled it years ago … I don’t know what this ‘recent quartet’ you mention, but given his inability to see fundamental objections to his own arguments, I’m really not interested in anything he has to say.

You’re basically wrong on all other counts about me, but I don’t see the good in elaborating merely to exonerate myself. I am trying to do, but I am now in such physical pain with fatigue that it is difficult to do more than lie in bed.
 
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Right … The problem here is how to distinguish between “God saying no” and “God not existing”, since the external appearance is the same.
 
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You’ve gotta let go of this bitterness towards God…

I am concerned you’re in danger of possibly becoming a misotheist.
 
HIt a nerve, I see. That’s good. Your ego is impressive. Now go ask your priest about a spiritual director. Again, if need be.

Otherwise, all I can say is “you win.” You have done your readings, done your praying, and you have established on a Catholic message board that God either doesn’t exist or he doesn’t care about you. And you are trapped on an island with no help. Because your life is different, indeed. And you have unique pain that nobody else has faced. And you are smarter than everyone else. Feels pretty empty, doesn’t it?
 
ethereality said:
I spend time with Jesus on Sunday after Mass, but … well, I hate to say it, but I don’t see that it’s making any difference or that Jesus is even there.
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What would you expect to see?
ethereality said:
I am frustrated and depressed because I have already tried all these suggestions and am still feeling sad and alone.
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This is good, because it shows that you are actively seeking and really wanting to experience God.

It sounds like you would benefit from a spiritual director.
ethereality said:
The suffering required to be Christian is not ‘negligible’. To live my entire life with duplicity of mind, trying to believe and even promulgate something that I suspect is not true, is quite literally maddening
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I do agree with you here. St. Paul wrote “if it is for this like only we have trusted in Christ, we are of all men most to be pitied”.

As far as “duplicity of mind” is concerned, we all live this way. St. Paul also wrote that the desires of the flesh are contrary to the desires of the Spirit. Our whole lives we are the battleground for the old man and the new man.

As far as suspecting that what God has reveales is not true, I am afraid that He is the only one able to convince you that it is true. That being said, acting on the basis that it is true is often what leads us into the experience that it is true. This is why Jesus said to believe as though it had already happened. This is what it means to act in faith. It does not mean we “feel it” or even that we are rationally confinced of it. It is a choice to act based upon what God has revealed about Himself.
ethereality said:
especially given absurdities like this situation: “I know you want to follow me, and because I love you, that’s exactly why I’m frustrating you and hiding and refusing to communicate clearly with you.” It makes no sense.
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It may seem to you that this is what God is saying, but your perception does not make it true. God has expressed Himself in His Word and His Church. If you are not willing to accept what He has already told you, why would He give you a private revelation? It seems rather arrogant to expect such a thing.

If you had been alive when Jesus walked the earth, and listened to His public sermons, but chose not to believe them, would you expect He should visit your house personally to tell you the same thing that you already rejected?
 
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Say “Come Holy Spirit” again and again…advice from my priest.
 
ethereality said:
Thanks, but I’m not seeking a ‘spiritual high’: I’m just suffering and wanting to interact with my Father. Instead I feel and appear to be alone and abandoned (only human beings who sometimes help me).
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Anyone who truly experiences the Creator is never the same again. It’s not like having a cup of tea with Her but being hit by lightning over and over. That’s my experience. Be careful what you wish for.

If you want to persist with your goal, “Seek and ye shall find”. It requires an open mind, free of pre-conceived ideas, free of doctrine, free of dogma of any religion. It requires one to be honest about oneself, about ones place in history, about ones insignificance in the grand scheme of things and above all to be a child again and see things as a child does, simply, as if for the first time but using the knowledge and education you have.

When you start to read scripture and the meaning is completely different to what you’ve been taught you are on the path. You will then see its colours and then you will find yourself in it, literally, if it is meant to be. That is when the lightning hits and the connection to the Creator is made. Then you read another passage. Strike. It becomes more and more personal to the point you start to talk to the Creator as an equal and She responds.

To those reading this and disbelieving me, look at my posts. Someone mentions PI in a post about the existence of God and I have a reply with an image. Someone talks of gay relations at a family event that might affect the children. I have a reply in scripture that goes against traditional teaching. Someone talks of aliens. I have a reply, again with an image. I point out that Revelation is astronomical, again, against convention, with images. The Creator has guided many of you with your posts so that I can demonstrate my connection to Her.

Even this thread is of Her making.
 
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I would like to ask you why, given that the Church teaches God is neither male nor female but encompasses and transcends all aspects of both genders, you choose to refer to God with feminine pronouns rather than follow the Church’s usage of masculine pronouns. After all, when God assumed a human nature and “showed us the Father” God chose a male body.

Actually, this also makes me wonder why God didn’t make Jesus female (to better show how God the Trinity encompasses both and is neither) …
 
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Oh, you’re in Japan? What prefecture?
Put it this way, fathers tolerate our railing against them. They know what’s better for a child as they grow. Think on it: a parent may let a child touch a hot stove so that he learns to not touch it. This seems completely normal for a parent.

You also don’t need to be in a Church building to pray the Rosary. You can do it at home, for instance, or even while riding a train.

Our suffering helps others and is a chance for us personally to grow. If you knew the power of it, you may wish to never again feel comfort for your natural life! But, God knows what is good for us. What is too much and what is too little. Be not afraid of this, trust in God, and pray.
 
St. Jude Thaddeus Novena.

O Holy St. Jude, Apostle and Martyr, great in virtue and rich in miracles, near kinsman of Jesus Christ, faithful intercessor of all who invoke your special patronage in time of need, to you I have recourse from the depth of my heart and humbly beg to whom God has given such great power to come to my assistance. Help me in my present and urgent petition. In return, I promise to make your name known and cause you to be invoked. St. Jude pray for us all who invoke your aid. Amen.

Remember Mark 11 24-24

Understand that Faith in God means Knowing in your heart and soul that the Lord is there with you. I will pray for you friend. I hope you find what you’re looking for.
 
What IS your expectation?
Something tangible. Something specific? Are you saying there is not one single blessing in your life?
 
No, I had thought about saying at some point that of course when we complain online, there’s a lot of good in our lives that go unsaid. I’ve been saying lately (to others…) that I have a lot of good so I mustn’t complain.

Perhaps I don’t understand your question, because to give a yes-and-no answer: I no longer expect anything because now I think God probably doesn’t exist. However, when I think God does exist, my understanding is that God will heal my body or else make it clear to me why He won’t “if I just pray and study enough, and go without sinning long enough or finally stop desiring to do the sinful activity”.

I understand suffering because of others’ actions for a time and for our own sin and actions. I don’t understand being forced to suffer one of these until death, for the rest of our lives, even years after the person responsible has stopped or quit sinning. If someone sins and cripples you, I can understand God making you suffer the effects of it for a time. I don’t understand “okay, this is your new situation until you die now.” That to me is deism or atheism, not “our Father who art in heaven”. I understand if God makes it clear to you what good is being accomplished by suffering that state until death, or comforting the person so they don’t mind the condition. I don’t understand being met with silence and no explanation. Again, that renders the phrase “our Father who art in heaven” unintelligible to me, because fathers comfort their children as possible.

I do have periods where I don’t hurt, though. I do have periods where I am comfortable and where good exists. Indeed, my life seems 50% good or more, so I mustn’t complain. And again, others have even less than I do, so I mustn’t complain.

So my expectation is that the suffering in our lives will be limited temporarily to the evil we and others do, and that God will heal us after suffering these if the right conditions are met (e.g. the evil conduct has ceased, or the evil agent has stopped committing the sin, and the lesson has been learned, etc).
 
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ethereality said:
I would like to ask you why, given that the Church teaches God is neither male nor female but encompasses and transcends all aspects of both genders, you choose to refer to God with feminine pronouns rather than follow the Church’s usage of masculine pronouns.
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Ask any woman. Men can’t multi-task! 🙂

Seriously, all life comes from the female. If the Creator were male then men would get pregnant.
 
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