L
LittleDeb
Guest
My heart goes out to you in this circumstance. It has been said that NFP makes good marriages better, and brings troubled marriages to deeper understanding. Abstinence tends to bring out our true colors.I’ve read many threads here regarding marital chastity, and am wondering if anyone has thoughts/advice on what I might do… My husband and I have used artificial birth control in the past, but in the last year I’ve read and studied much and decided to practice NFP. (Didn’t take any classes, just purchased the book!) I do a lot of searching, reading, talking and am just beginning to understand what it means to truly follow NFP, which we have NOT been doing, as we continue to practice oral sex or withdrawal during fertile times. My husband does not feel we are doing anything wrong! How can I stop sinning myself, while not ruining my marriage?? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
The things I can recommend are the aspects of NFP most needed outside the bedroom. What did I just say??!! NFP outside the bedroom?? Yep, NFP outside the bedroom. The three things to focus on in your situation are at the core of NFP. Prayer, communication, and information. That is really what NFP is about.
#1 Pray for your husband. Not just that little prayer we do, that says, “Make his life better,” but the BIG prayer, that sacrificial prayer that only a wife can do. #2 Communicate with your husband. Don’t talk, listen. Hear his fears. Embrace them but don’t judge them. If I know one thing about men it is that they despise being afraid. The only thing worse is being afraid and having their wife view them as weak. #3 Get informed. Learn. Don’t teach until you know. Take the class yourself. Know your own fertility inside and out. You might discover that he isn’t even “in the mood” during fertile times. During those infertile times let him know you are infertile, allow him to grow in trust.
Abandoning contraception is not an overnight change. Embracing NFP is also not overnight. NFP is information. It is the use of that information that can sometimes be difficult. Pray, pray, pray. Conform your will to the will of God and you will be blessed for it. Marriage is a Sacrament of amazing proportions. The grace you receive from your sacrifice flows to your husband simply because you are married.
You will be in my prayers and the prayers of all couples who know what an amazing gift NFP can be to marriage.