What to do when you feel rebellion in your soul against the reality of your vocation

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jmjZelie

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So that is my question.

Every single moment of my day is accounted for, serving my family. I have a large family and we homeschool. (I am stealing this time from when I am supervising outside play, so I can post my question.) From 5am, when I nurse the baby before I get up to start the day, till 9pm when I have finished with the family rosary and bedtime routines, and then through the night with multiple wake ups to nurse the baby or soothe a scared child after a nightmare, to start it all over again the next morning, which is always way too early. I am regularly a bit weepy and begging for grace every morning.
I would say I am burnt out, except I am not. I WANT to be doing precisely what I am doing. I am exhausted, but it is in service to the people I love and to my God Whom I adore that I am doing all this. I wouldn’t change a thing (except perhaps want things to be a bit quieter). Objectively, I accept and embrace my vocation and all it entails. But subjectively, I feel that inner rebellion that steals my joy. I am trying to learn how to be ever more self-disciplined and obedient to God’s will for me at this point in my life, and God has been generous with His grace.
So how to I fully embrace my busy, loud, demanding, yet good, life, and squash my inner rebellion, and find joy in my vocation? Does this even make sense? (This is the third time I have written a post to ask this question, but it seems I can never express this problem succinctly or adequately…)
Thanks in advance to anyone who has any insight into this problem, and God bless you.
 
We had twins. I’d say your issue is that the constant vigilance of motherhood has you mentally and spiritually exhausted. That isn’t rebellion talking. It is a cry for mercy!!

The apostles gathered together with Jesus and reported all they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” People were coming and going in great numbers, and they had no opportunity even to eat. So they went off in the boat by themselves to a deserted place. Mark 6:30-32

When our twins were babies, my most anticipated time of day was 9 pm to 1 am. Those were the hours that my husband handled middle-of-the-night duties. (I used a breast pump.) That gave me four hours a day when my brain learned it did not have to listen for the sound of someone who needed me. That is actual rest.

I am guessing that you do not have 15-20 minutes of inviolate prayer time each day. Mother Teresa insisted that the Missionaries of Charity had a hour a day for adoration in addition to daily Mass. Love doesn’t come from thin air. You have to spend some time at the water.

I am also guessing that you do not have any way to be in your own thoughts without distraction. Remember–even contemplatives at monasteries have a time put into their schedule that is set aside for recreation such as sewing or painting. Here are some ideas I have used or my relatives have used:
  1. If you have a big lawn, be the one who mows the lawn. The children are someone else’s to deal with while you’re mowing the lawn.
  2. Get those big-can ear protectors, like they have for working outside at airports or at shooting ranges. Use ear buds under those to listen to music or a book on tape at low volume while you are vacuuming, folding clothes, or doing other housework. Again: somebody else has to handle the “reception desk” of the children’s urgent questions or requests.
  3. Take a class once a week that does not involve homework but does involve an activity that you enjoy and some adult conversation. Examples might be a knitting circle, a rec league sports team, a night out dancing, and so on. If you can get a sitter and your husband can join you, that’s great, but if so make it a night for your relationship and not about all the other very important stuff in your life.
As it turns out, the non-all-day parent is usually a lot better at telling children that they have a problem that can actually wait until later, too, so don’t worry about that.

The final thing to remind yourself is that this time of constant vigilance, the time in which your mind is bouncing from attending to this and that and back to a third thing with a fourth thing in the back of your mind–shoot, what was that, I know there was something, what time is it?–does not last forever. Hang in there. This is like a long-distance drive. It is far more exhausting than it looks from the outside, because it is both tedious and yet requires vigilance that doesn’t ever really allow your mind to rest. Give yourself credit for that and remind yourself that you won’t be here forever.
 
It is late but I wanted to quickly thank both of you for replying to my question. I am sorry that I cannot be more clear about what I am asking. I am having a hard time understanding my experience right now.

Maybe it is sheer exhaustion. I also find that I often forget the names of things and cannot give verbal directions under pressure. I can perform tasks very well, but I have a hard time asking for help because words fail me. Thankfully, my family is both generous and patient most of the time.

I do feel like my joy is being stolen from me by something, though. Is it possible to be burnt out when I would not rather be anywhere else on the planet? Is it possible to be overwhelmed when I am with my favorite people doing what I want to be doing (I am not a reluctant homeschooler, but the screeching from my toddler and the crying from the baby makes my pleasure in giving lessons rapidly evaporate.)

I will consider what both of you have said. There is no time in my schedule for rest or anything else. So, whatever name I put on this reality, the reality will still be my reality. I will be in a situation of homeschooling three or more children (and will reach a total of five at once for several years in the future) for the next 13 years. And my job of educating my children will span a time frame of 24 total years, if my estimate is correct.

And right now things are Really. Really. Hard.

And I am mad at myself for seeking consolation or encouragement here now, because I fear that someone will see my post and think that having a large family and homeschooling them sounds terrifying. But sometimes I think my difficulties are of my own making, because if I had a better attitude about hard work, I would more eagerly pursue my vocation, without an underlying feeling of “what have I done?!? What was I thinking choosing this for my life?!”
Which immediately makes me feel guilty because I am just so stinking grateful for all my little blessings!

Ugh, I need to go to sleep. God bless you, EasterJoy and Daddygirl! I will think about what you have said.
 
jmjZelie said:
I WANT to be doing precisely what I am doing. I am exhausted, but it is in service to the people I love and to my God Whom I adore that I am doing all this. I wouldn’t change a thing (except perhaps want things to be a bit quieter).
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I’m trying to find a softer, polite way to say this, but I’m struggling so here goes…I do not believe the above at all. The very fact of you writing this post and talking about inner rebellion undermines what you’ve said above.

You seem to be assuming that what you are doing is exactly what God wants of you. But is it? How do you know? Are there things in your life, your routine that you need to consider changing?

God wants us to work hard, to toil under the sun as it is put. But God does not want us to be resentful and to lack joy. Something seems amiss and you and your husband may need to review every aspect of your family life. Does your husband have certain expectations for how a good Catholic family ought to live that you are just going along with? eg is homeschooling something that you really want to do or is it a philosophical viewpoint that is causing strain when put into practice? (I don’t want to sound like I’m bashing homeschoolers here; just making the point that it’s a considerable challenge to undertake).
 
Along the previous poster’s lines,maybe homeschooling is more than you can take.And if you are burnt out,your kids need their mom…I mean,lovingly,we may love to do something but our bodies have limits and we have to listen to that warning too.
If this sounds not what you want,take a day at a time.
Maybe somebody can help you homeschool…
I did not homeschool my kids,and two of them would wake me up several times during the night as babies,and I was exhausted the following day.
Well,just trying to express sympathy and understanding. It can be a very demanding period in our lives physically speaking,and we need rest too.🙂
My prayers for you.
 
underacloud said:
I’m trying to find a softer, polite way to say this, but I’m struggling so here goes…I do not believe the above at all. The very fact of you writing this post and talking about inner rebellion undermines what you’ve said above.

You seem to be assuming that what you are doing is exactly what God wants of you. But is it? How do you know? Are there things in your life, your routine that you need to consider changing?

God wants us to work hard, to toil under the sun as it is put. But God does not want us to be resentful and to lack joy. Something seems amiss and you and your husband may need to review every aspect of your family life. Does your husband have certain expectations for how a good Catholic family ought to live that you are just going along with? eg is homeschooling something that you really want to do or is it a philosophical viewpoint that is causing strain when put into practice? (I don’t want to sound like I’m bashing homeschoolers here; just making the point that it’s a considerable challenge to undertake).
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I believe it. I’ve had the above experience. Sometimes you just HAVE to do what you’re doing and it may be something you feel is your calling in life but you have this “burned out” feeling at the same time.

I spoke to a friar that two of my friends go to for spiritual guidance but he was of no help. I think Jesus is the best spiritual advisor, personally.

My question to him was this: If God sends you the trial (or more than one) shouldn’t He also send you the grace to accept it JOYFULLY?

Anyway, yes, if you haven’t had the experience, it’s difficult to understand what jmjzellie is talking about.

Sometimes in confession I tell my priest that I can’t do this anymore. And he replies You are doing it! And doing it I certainly am. So let’s just keep plugging away.

Satan loves to take our joy away. And let’s remember that All Things Work for the Good to Them That Love the Lord!

If either I or the OP find the solution, maybe we could let each other know!!

God bless us
 
I have been through a lot of this…I have a wife who feels driven to fulfill her vocation of homeschooling our children…she has a love for the organizational aspects, the ability to choose the curriculum, the sense of control over the destiny of our children so that they might achieve the best education possible…as well as a keen interest in guarding them against the corruption of this world.

Now let me offer some heartfelt advice. In fact, it is the same advice I gave my own wife when I noted her arriving at a similar position to the one you describe…

Sometimes we can’t do everything we want to do all at once; sometimes it is better to handle one aspect well than four disciplines poorly…

So we learned to compromise. We split the children into groups and simply home-schooled those that appeared to need it the most during the years that might prove most beneficial. In this way the experience could be more joyful rather than stressful. It also provided the children (who were close in age) an opportunity to explore life a little bit removed from one another so as not to constantly live under each other’s shadow.

This reduced friction and gave each child their own sense of place. We also tended to alternate the children so that they might have a variety of experiences apart from one another to reduce direct competition and rivalry. So, by way of example, we homeschooled our oldest, sent our next child to school, homeschooled our middle child, sent the next one to school, etc. We then did the inverse the following year.

This year we have one child in a Catholic High School, one child in a more loosely-disciplined homeschooling system, one in a more regimented homeschooling system, one in a mixed cyber-school, one in a full-fledged cyber-school, one in an immersion school for learning a second language (as he loves speaking it already), and finally one child too young for school at all.

We have used cyber-school to provide an outside voice to those children who appear to lack sufficient discipline to stay on task so that my wife does not have to discipline them on both the familial and scholastic front.

Essentially what I am attempting to suggest is that one might easily become overwhelmed even when doing what one truly wishes to do. It is not a sign of failure to compromise–especially during years when babies are in the house! Whenever my wife had a newborn we would only offer the option of homeschooling to our most self-directed children; the rest went off to school.

I understand there can be philosophical reasons for homeschooling that might see the sending of children to school as a defeat, but we made the decision to be flexible because otherwise we feared that our children’s memory of their mother would be one of negative connotations rather than positive. Further, it was considered that our children would certainly one day enter the world so we wished for them to see the contrasts in values and attitudes early enough so that we could still discuss them together. We did not wish our children to be met with a sudden surprise in college. We wished our children to be tested in the world and remedied in the home.

So pursue what seems most important, but be free to admit that you cannot do it all. Not all at once anyway.

Feel free to PM for a deeper discussion into this…I wish you well…!

Regards,

Jelrak TB
 
You sound as if you feel trapped because you are looking far into the future.
God gives grace one day at a time. Focus on each day, and each moment and don’t worry about tommorrow. He will give you tommorrows grace–tommorrow.

Seasons change too, little ones grow and become less demanding. The older children will be a big help too. Even though you will be doing this for a while, it will not be the same as it is now.

He also said to rest on Sunday and you need to have this one day He gave you to do so.
 
If I may…
Being from a country where all kids must go to school, either public or private, homeschooling is off the table, I find homeschooling to be quite the undertaking.
I can imagine a normal person can do it up to 4th grade or so… maybe even 6th grade… but from then on, damn! There’s just too much ground to cover, better leave it for the professionals.
Around here, in order to teach at any school, they are required to have a course in pedagogy, besides their “expert” field - be it the mother-language, the foreign language, maths, history, geography, chemistry, physics, phys-ed, music, drawing and other artistic expressions, etc.

What qualifications do you have on those fields that make you the perceived best choice for teaching your kids?

I don’t know how old your kids are, but you could maybe put your older ones in some school - they’ll get far more out of it than you can provide, not just in information from people who should know how to pass along the curriculum, but also in social interaction with other kids (try to keep them aware of all the bad things that may come from these, while fostering all the good things). It’s important for them to develop social skills away from the prying eyes of the parents and other siblings… it’s important to let them find some stuff on their own…

It’s also important to learn to let them go out… and then help just them with their homework, as a way to stay in touch with what they’re learning out there and also be with them for a while, after having had your “me” time for the day.
Your significant other will also appreciate your more restful state 😉
 
I have some more thoughts, but here’s one to start with: if you were hiring a worker to do what you do (and let’s imagine you are able to hire somebody amazing), how good a job could they make of it working the hours (5AM-9PM) and work conditions that you describe?

Would you hire that person to do the job under those hours and those conditions?

If not, why “hire” you?
jmjZelie said:
So that is my question.

Every single moment of my day is accounted for, serving my family. I have a large family and we homeschool. (I am stealing this time from when I am supervising outside play, so I can post my question.) From 5am, when I nurse the baby before I get up to start the day, till 9pm when I have finished with the family rosary and bedtime routines, and then through the night with multiple wake ups to nurse the baby or soothe a scared child after a nightmare, to start it all over again the next morning, which is always way too early. I am regularly a bit weepy and begging for grace every morning.
I would say I am burnt out, except I am not. I WANT to be doing precisely what I am doing. I am exhausted, but it is in service to the people I love and to my God Whom I adore that I am doing all this. I wouldn’t change a thing (except perhaps want things to be a bit quieter). Objectively, I accept and embrace my vocation and all it entails. But subjectively, I feel that inner rebellion that steals my joy. I am trying to learn how to be ever more self-disciplined and obedient to God’s will for me at this point in my life, and God has been generous with His grace.
So how to I fully embrace my busy, loud, demanding, yet good, life, and squash my inner rebellion, and find joy in my vocation? Does this even make sense? (This is the third time I have written a post to ask this question, but it seems I can never express this problem succinctly or adequately…)
Thanks in advance to anyone who has any insight into this problem, and God bless you.
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jmjZelie said:
It is late but I wanted to quickly thank both of you for replying to my question. I am sorry that I cannot be more clear about what I am asking. I am having a hard time understanding my experience right now.

Maybe it is sheer exhaustion. I also find that I often forget the names of things and cannot give verbal directions under pressure. I can perform tasks very well, but I have a hard time asking for help because words fail me. Thankfully, my family is both generous and patient most of the time.

I do feel like my joy is being stolen from me by something, though. Is it possible to be burnt out when I would not rather be anywhere else on the planet? Is it possible to be overwhelmed when I am with my favorite people doing what I want to be doing (I am not a reluctant homeschooler, but the screeching from my toddler and the crying from the baby makes my pleasure in giving lessons rapidly evaporate.)

I will consider what both of you have said. There is no time in my schedule for rest or anything else. So, whatever name I put on this reality, the reality will still be my reality. I will be in a situation of homeschooling three or more children (and will reach a total of five at once for several years in the future) for the next 13 years. And my job of educating my children will span a time frame of 24 total years, if my estimate is correct.

And right now things are Really. Really. Hard.

And I am mad at myself for seeking consolation or encouragement here now, because I fear that someone will see my post and think that having a large family and homeschooling them sounds terrifying. But sometimes I think my difficulties are of my own making, because if I had a better attitude about hard work, I would more eagerly pursue my vocation, without an underlying feeling of “what have I done?!? What was I thinking choosing this for my life?!”
Which immediately makes me feel guilty because I am just so stinking grateful for all my little blessings!

Ugh, I need to go to sleep. God bless you, EasterJoy and Daddygirl! I will think about what you have said.
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Just do one year at a time. Think about doing a co-op, too. (If the content is objectionable in some classes, art and music might still be OK.)

And as somebody else was mentioning, maybe you need to be strategic about which kids go to school or homeschool which year? There’s a lot to be said, for example, for homeschooling middle school, for example (or at least 7-8), which can be the very worst years of school if you can’t afford private school.

Bear in mind that you are supposed to be doing a lot of intellectual work if you’re homeschooling. You need to be fresh and rested and smart to do your job properly. And that’s true of people other than homeschoolers. Last year, a couple months into the school year, just before my youngest turned 2, I realized that I was wigging out from the pressure of being with her all day all week and also doing home stuff and taking care of the big kids private school stuff. I was exhausted and I was too wigged out to be effective. So we put Baby Girl into parent’s day out (5.5 hours a week), the youngest we’ve ever put one of ours into a group setting. But it was what our family needed–one day a week for me to decompress and catch up in peace and quiet. I can still feel myself starting to wig out on the weeks when there’s no PDO and this year (as she’s turning 3 soon) she’s going to do 2 days a week of PDO (11 hours total).

Here’s some reading from the mother of a large family that quit homeschooling (deciding to “just” keep home the first grader, plus the 4-year-old, the 3-year-old and the 1-year-old):

simchafisher.wordpress.com/2010/08/24/why-were-not-home-schooling-next-this-year/

She talks a lot about burnout. There’s a huge comment thread there that you may find helpful.

There’s also a currently homeschooling mother of a large family that you may find helpful:

thepracticalconservative.wordpress.com/

She would point out to you that never previously in human history has it been expected that a mother all by herself would be able to teach a large family children up to the high school level and care for the home. That is a novelty–either she’d have servants (perhaps including a tutor or two) and/or nobody would expect her to teach her children much beyond reading and writing.

Here are some of her posts that you may find particularly helpful:

thepracticalconservative.wordpress.com/the-practical-conservative-guide-to-proper-care-and-feeding-of-a-sahm/

thepracticalconservative.wordpress.com/2014/10/23/real-talk-for-sahms-homeschooling-promotion-vs-homeschool-reality/

thepracticalconservative.wordpress.com/2013/11/04/how-homeschooling-could-be-more-effective-and-practical-in-application/
 
Xantippe said:
I have some more thoughts, but here’s one to start with: if you were hiring a worker to do what you do (and let’s imagine you are able to hire somebody amazing), how good a job could they make of it working the hours (5AM-9PM) and work conditions that you describe?

Would you hire that person to do the job under those hours and those conditions?

If not, why “hire” you?
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I was thinking the same thing.

There is such a thing as being totally burnt out…despite loving what you do.

I’ve experienced that many, many times and it does zap the joy away from something you love.

Two days ago…while my husband was at work…I had gotten a grand total of 3-4 hours of very interrupted sleep the night before because I was nursing.
I then had the kids…either the baby or the other two or both…for a grand total of 21 hours without a break.
Even when my husband got home I had to take the baby because she just wanted to nurse. That night my little one was up until 2 am.

I didn’t realize how much of an impact it had on me until yesterday. It was a very, very bad day and I was having a difficult time handling even the easiest tasks and my patience was gone.

I’m not going to touch the homeschooling aspect of it.
I don’t homeschool and I know I never will.
But if this is your vocation that is outstanding and I think you should keep doing that.

What I do hope you have is an outlet…something that is completely separated from your children that you do on your own for your own benefit and pleasure.

I used to be a ballet dancer and teacher before I got injured and had to stop.
I still love ballet and have found some wonderful youtube videos on the NYCB.

They typically work 12-14 hour days…every single day and are usually exhausted and can find the joy totally zapped from what they do…despite it being something they absolutely love.

I says a youtube clip titled “Inspirations” that talked about how, despite their busy schedule, they find things that are outside the ballet world that they love and it inspires their work and keeps them motivated.

Take a look:

Inspirations

Maybe you need to find something that you can do that is away from the kids and from homeschooling that will help you recharge and find the joy you feel has been zapped from you.
 
First of all, I just want to give you a big virtual hug :hug3:

I also want to let you know that you are NOT alone and that these feelings you have are not uncommon. This is our third year homeschooling and I now have a 6th grade boy and two 2nd graders). Homeschooling is hard work and has a high burnout rate. For my own sanity, we enrolled all three in a two-day-a-week homeschool tutorial (a dropoff program). I rebelled against this for two years because it meant that I would lose control of some of the curriculum choices. However, mid last year, I knew I needed to do something different for the benefit of our entire family. So, the kids started yesterday and they LOVED it. They are excited about going back on Friday. Also, they now have assignments given to them by another adult and having that along with a peer group will motivate them to do their work without constant complaint to me. Is there anything like this available in your area?

Also, I would suggest you schedule time for a complete physical and bloodwork for yourself. As moms, we tend to worry more about the kids’ health than our own. I kept blaming my sluggishness, irritability and mental fog on “mommy brain” but just found out that I am very anemic AND have hypothyroidism. I’m hoping the meds I’m on will kick in soon and give me a lot more energy.

Lastly, if the tutorial isn’t an option, then, yes, you may need to re-evaluate your priorities and curriculum. Maybe the method of homeschooling you are using requires too much of you (more than what can go around) 🤷 Maybe some online or computer based programs could aid you greatly for certain kids or maybe some kids would benefit from traditional school. There should be no shame in any of those choices. At some point, homeschooling should be more about facilitating the kids in their learning than actually “teaching.”
 
It sounds to me like the “I WANT to be doing this” feeling you have is really your sheer love for your family and wanting so badly to do what is best for them. That doesn’t mean that the logistics of getting there are not becoming truly burdensome on you as a person.

I assume you have your husband living at home? If so, you need to bring this to him and work this out as a couple. You absolutely need a mental break at some point of the day, every day, even for 15-30 minutes. And at least a couple times a month you need a longer break, a few hours, where you hire a babysitter or have a friend or family member take over.
 
Wow, so many thoughtful responses! Thank you all so much for responding to my question. I see there are some questions and comments for me to respond to and I will try to do so as I can find some moments today.
 
underacloud said:
I’m trying to find a softer, polite way to say this, but I’m struggling so here goes…I do not believe the above at all. The very fact of you writing this post and talking about inner rebellion undermines what you’ve said above.

You seem to be assuming that what you are doing is exactly what God wants of you. But is it? How do you know? Are there things in your life, your routine that you need to consider changing?

God wants us to work hard, to toil under the sun as it is put. But God does not want us to be resentful and to lack joy. Something seems amiss and you and your husband may need to review every aspect of your family life. Does your husband have certain expectations for how a good Catholic family ought to live that you are just going along with? eg is homeschooling something that you really want to do or is it a philosophical viewpoint that is causing strain when put into practice? (I don’t want to sound like I’m bashing homeschoolers here; just making the point that it’s a considerable challenge to undertake).
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Thank you for your comment, underacloud. The truth is, I have certain knowledge that what I am doing is exactly what God wants me to do at this point in my life. When I can be disciplined and follow my schedule and focus upon my work, I do find joy in my vocation. But if I have a day where I become slack in any area, everything starts to unravel and I feel that inner rebellion. St. Paul wrote about it in one of his epistles, where he said that he did not do the good he wanted to do, but instead did what he did not want to do. I feel that way when I don’t do the light housework that needs to be done and instead read my favorite websites. 🙂
My life right now reminds me very much of the experience of childbirth, where I would feel an inner rebellion, but also a realization that whether I am willing or not, this is going to have to be done. And even though it is scary and exhausting (and often painful) it is still God’s will. And there is a lot of joy to be found in the experience, too, especially if one is able to conquer one’s fear. Not exactly the same, but similar enough for this mom.
 
frangiuliano115 said:
I believe it. I’ve had the above experience. Sometimes you just HAVE to do what you’re doing and it may be something you feel is your calling in life but you have this “burned out” feeling at the same time.

I spoke to a friar that two of my friends go to for spiritual guidance but he was of no help. I think Jesus is the best spiritual advisor, personally.

My question to him was this: If God sends you the trial (or more than one) shouldn’t He also send you the grace to accept it JOYFULLY?

Anyway, yes, if you haven’t had the experience, it’s difficult to understand what jmjzellie is talking about.

Sometimes in confession I tell my priest that I can’t do this anymore. And he replies You are doing it! And doing it I certainly am. So let’s just keep plugging away.

Satan loves to take our joy away. And let’s remember that All Things Work for the Good to Them That Love the Lord!

If either I or the OP find the solution, maybe we could let each other know!!

God bless us
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Yes!
It is so encouraging just to know that someone has understood me because they have had similar experiences. 😊
 
mommy_k said:
You sound as if you feel trapped because you are looking far into the future.
God gives grace one day at a time. Focus on each day, and each moment and don’t worry about tommorrow. He will give you tommorrows grace–tommorrow.

Seasons change too, little ones grow and become less demanding. The older children will be a big help too. Even though you will be doing this for a while, it will not be the same as it is now.

He also said to rest on Sunday and you need to have this one day He gave you to do so.
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This is very good for me to remember. Thank you so much and I will ponder this today.
 
Someone asked for my qualifications. Not that they are legally necessary, or even necessary in reality, but I do have qualifications. Not a teacher’s license. But I have a STEM degree from a well-known university for STEM field studies, plus graduate work, and I have taught at a private middle school, as well as teaching recitations and labs at the university where I did my graduate work. I also read a lot about teaching and use teacher manuals with some wonderful curriculum.

About the question about whether anyone else would hire me. Two thoughts. First, other people already have hired me to teach. I taught full-time for $10K/year at that private school. Yeah. It was (still is) an excellent school. Teaching itself is a vocation, one to which I was obviously called, because I happily did al that work for what was likely not enough to cover the costs of my transportation and professional attire and materials. All of we teachers at the school worked so hard and were supported by our husbands to work there.

Second thought is, it is no human being who hired me. God did. He does not call the equipped, He equips the called. He sent me these children. He made it clear I was to homeschool them (very long, interesting story…I love to talk about it but it is too personal for an anonymous forum).

Okay, I think that I have delayed our morning walk way too long already so any other replies to questions I missed will have to wait for later.
 
jmjZelie said:
Someone asked for my qualifications. Not that they are legally necessary, or even necessary in reality, but I do have qualifications. Not a teacher’s license. But I have a STEM degree from a well-known university for STEM field studies, plus graduate work, and I have taught at a private middle school, as well as teaching recitations and labs at the university where I did my graduate work. I also read a lot about teaching and use teacher manuals with some wonderful curriculum.
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[Darth vader voice] Impressive [/voice]
I still think it’s too large an endeavor for one single person… remember the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”.
Use your village.
 
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