What To Say To People Who Laugh At Us?

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I like the old Ann Landers reply to rude personal questions, “why on earth would you ask such a rude question? (or make such a rude remark?”
 
Also - imfourkids,

Remember that there are people like me walking by you who are struggling not to envy you, and are praying for you, and admire you. 🙂
 
In my part of Arizona you’d be considered a mormon and everyone would smile at you beatifically.
Bless you! I wish I knew more like you.
 
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mlchance:
I’m fond of “Bite me,” but that probably isn’t a good response.

😃

Once, when disciplining my son (via a smack to the buttocks and a stern voice) for running off in a video store, a woman nearby frowned at me and shook her head in disapproval. I asked her if she wanted some too. She quickly broke off eye contact and shuffled away. Again, that probably isn’t a good response.

– Mark L. Chance.
I love it!

Were you really ready to administer it?

Probably would have done her good…
 
Whatever. With being noticed comes insults, and there is really no way around it. But you know what, I love my friends that come from big families, and they seem more grounded and together than many families that have only a few children (which is not to say that that is bad either). I have red hair, and you can’t even imagine what some people come up with. I either ignore them or, if poetic brilliance strikes, silence them with a comeback that can’t be responded to or is so good that by the time they recover from the whiplash their ego received, I am half-way down the block.

They aren’t worth getting mad over. They are either jealous, insecure, or both. I thus consider myself lucky: I have something everyone else wants.😃

Eamon
 
Just remember there are a few of us out here (maybe more than you think) who wish we had your problem!

God bless!

BlueRose
 
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mlchance:
Once, when disciplining my son (via a smack to the buttocks and a stern voice) for running off in a video store, a woman nearby frowned at me and shook her head in disapproval. I asked her if she wanted some too. She quickly broke off eye contact and shuffled away. Again, that probably isn’t a good response.
Watch yourself with that. In some states, physically disciplining a child, even if it’s just a swat on the seat, will cause dear people like the frowning woman to report you to the Child Protection Gestapo, who will literally break your door down and remove your own children from your home by force.

For their own good, of course. :rolleyes:

I don’t discipline my children in public. When my little one pitches a fit, I usually say something like, “I know…gee, it’s tough, isn’t it? But look at it this way: when you grow up, you can write all kinds of books about how your father psychologically abused you because he’d never let you have your own way, and you can tell all about how you’re not self-actualized because we never empowered you; and you can sell those books to liberals and you’ll be a multi-millionaire before you’re twenty-five years old. You see? I have your best interests at heart, here, son!”
 
28 and already 7 kids. Wow, I guess you really didnt have much of a career or a college life. Were they all planned, or were they septuplets? How can you afford all of them? I am 28 myself and my wife and I don’t have a single child yet. Granted we have only been married for 6 years, but we decided to hold off until we were economically sound. What do you care what other people say or do anyway? Are you happy and secure enough with yourself? If so, then whatever people say or do around you shouldnt bother you at all.
 
It shouldn’t matter what you should say. By keeping your cool and staying graceful, you are practicing humility.
 
I’m the only child in my family, I wish my parents were as blessed as you, imfourkids.

Woe on DINKs
 
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AmericanAtheist:
I am 28 myself and my wife and I don’t have a single child yet. Granted we have only been married for 6 years, but we decided to hold off until we were economically sound. .
LOL, as they say. trouble with waiting until you can afford kids (or buying a house etc.) is that the price keeps going up, and your energy level keeps going down. I am sure you get lots of unwelcome comments from dear ones from the other side of the issue. the important thing is that you and your spouse have discussed your vision of family, preferably before marriage, that you commend your marriage and family to God, and that you continue making these decisions together. Advice from a grandma: if we had one thing to do differently, we would have trusted God more, not listened to our fears and wordly wisdom about money etc., and not been swayed by arguments, comments, suggestions, insults of “friends” and relatives.

for the record we married at 19, had 3 babies in 4 years, had 6 homegrown & foster by 28. Yes we had a great deal of college and career. In spite of the dire predictions of parents and family we finished college, got careers started, raised them without welfare, bought a home, tithed 10% of income to Church and charity, sent kids to parochial school, paid the bills, and incidentally weathered grave illness for selves & special needs child, lay-offs and other disasters. We also did it with kids spending minimal amounts of time in day care or with sitters.

Our secret is that our monetary demands and material “gotta have” list was deliberately kepts very moderate. Home in the city, not suburbs, used car, public transportation, modest wardrobe, camping instead of resort vacations, family entertainment based on scouts, school functions, sports, games rather than paying to be enteratined by others; recycling & reusing, healthy food not spending huge amounts on junk food, soda, low-nutrition prepared foods etc.
 
I always enjoy reading responses to this type of thread. I always wanted to have lots of children. We have two, and we lost one, and since I’m now 42, chances are slim that we’ll have another. But – oh! – wouldn’t that be a wonderful surprise!

How about this for a comeback: “Yeah, we heard they were going to produce a remake of “The Brady Bunch” and we’re practicing for the audition.” :o)
 
I enjoy reading these responces. I’ve got six, including a set of twins. I hear the echoes as I pass, “You’ve got your hands full.” “You’ve got your hands full.” “You’ve got your hands full.”… My responce to people who make remarks about my family depends on my mood.

When I’m feeling charitable I engage the conversation with something like, “Well, everyone says they value children, but then they limit how many they have. I figure if we value children, we should have them.”

Then there are the rough days. I’ve jokingly told people who ask how many kids I want, “I want two, but which ones I want vary from day to day.”

I’ve managed to hold my tongue on days when I feel a bit fiestier.

Since people don’t see to many large families these days, I think we have to be very careful as to how we witness. Everyone seems to expect mothers of large families to be basket cases. Vanity keeps some people from having more childen, so I’m conscientious of my appearance.

Oh, and if you ever get the chance to go out with just the baby alone, do so! I love conversing with strangers who think they are sharing advice with an inexperienced new mother,only to watch their eyes pop out when they hear how many I’ve got!

Enjoy your blessings!
 
Have to share this story…

My brother-in-law has been blessed with 10 (count 'em, if they hold still long enough, TEN) kids in sixteen years!

We know a family that isn’t Catholic that has 9 kids (oldest is 18, youngest is 1). The 18-year-old is a good friend and fellow martial arts instructor. Anyway, he went off to college in Lubbock and we went to go visit. On the Sunday we were there, he introduces us to a family friend who appeared to be thinking “aha, Catholics! More conquests!” Anyway, we went to lunch and we let this friend lead the meal blessing and, being Catholic creatures of habit, we made the sign of the cross. Friend-of-friend says, “so ya’ll born and raised Catholic?” “Yes, sir!” we respond with enthusiasm (our friend looks like he’d rather hide under the table… he doesn’t try to evangelize us because he knows he wouldn’t get far, but apparently he didn’t have time to warn his friend.)

So conversation turns to family and my husband tells him that he was the seventh of eight children, one of whom is a priest, another is a nun and his younger brother’s wife just gave birth to their 10th baby. Friend-of-friend says, “Oh, so they’re REAL good Catholics, huh?” And I don’t know if my husband was just suffering from foot-in-mouth disease or what, but he jerks his head over toward his friend and says, “Well, his family’s not so far behind!” Again, friend looks like he’d really like a meteor to hit him right then because HIS friend looks over at him critically and says, “Well, yes, we’ve wondered about his family at times.”

So Catholics aren’t the only ones getting the “glance askance” over large families. Only their t-shirt would probably say “No, I’m NOT Catholic!” (which would invite even more “askance glances” since only Catholics are crazy enough to have more than the 2.4 kids which is the ideal.)

Blue"what does 4/10 of a kid look like anyway?"Rose
 
As a teacher, I once had students every year from a family that had 22 children. Yes, 22 children, and all of them were born to this family, not adopted. They weren’t Catholic either. Everybody was always surprised by that. I asked one of the girls to bring in a family photo once, and it was amazing to see all 22 of them together. Of course, the older ones had been out of the house an married for quite a while already. I taught the last eight.
 
My favorite that I have heard…

“Yes we are Catholic - we also elected President Bush, and we are still out-breeding you…pay attention, we are widening our lead!”
 
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ridesawhitehors:
Also - imfourkids,

Remember that there are people like me walking by you who are struggling not to envy you, and are praying for you, and admire you. 🙂
I’m also sitting on this bench. God saw fit to give me two wonderful boys, but no more. I hang out with my friends with big families just to play with the babies! 🙂
 
Say nothing. The people who are making snide remarks are merely showing forth their idiocy. I assume you are the ones supporting your children and putting them through school and most likely working your tail off to keep them clothed and fed. As far as I’m concerned you owe no one any explanation. As for praying for them, pray God that they pull their heads out of their… you get the picture :rolleyes:

People who think they know whats best for me make me want to severely upchuck… :rolleyes:
 
It’s such a great problem, isn’t it? We only have 4 so far and we are in our early thirties. But I can relate. I love to flash people big smiles when they stare at us. Some people just have to make comments and you feel like you have to respond. Just try to stay charitable. This used to bother me, but now I see it as a way to evangelize. You are glorifying God! Keep up the good work!!! 👍
 
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