Whats a Christian way to deal with not nice people?

[pianistclare]

Online? Close the window.
Done.
Dialog requires 2 rational people. When one refuses to discuss in a cordial way? Buh-bye
You owe them nothing.
Pray for those who are enamored of evil things and defend them.

In person, smile, and walk away.
It drives them nuts.

 

[GEddie]

Try to choke down the way they make you feel. It counts toward your penance.

(Yeah, I know, easier said than done!)

ICXC NIKA

 

[esieffe]

In some cultures, which can be passed down to friends and relatives, they consider haggling an art form. This in no way justifies bad behavior, understanding motives sometimes helps.

I sell online. When I offer something OBO [or best offer] lo and behold, the bottom feeders come out. “So and so on another listing has this for x dollars.” My response, if I make one at all is “great deal, you should buy it.”

This type of thing is a cross that many have to bear, myself included. I am told that suffering makes us better Christians in the long run. How we bear the cross makes a difference to the Lord. We gain no matter what, but if we learn the lesson, this type of cross can diminish.

In the meantime, you might read a book on working with difficult people. Research on the web. This will empower you. Minimize contact, as others have said, and don’t take the bait. When you do, forgive yourself and go on. It will work out, and this will someday be behind you.

PS: You can always craft a sellers note that discusses how your items are hand crafted. You can also state, and I would consider this verbiage, that “crass or insulting” offers will not be tolerated." In some arenas, insulting language can be reported.

 

[pianistclare]

In some cultures, which can be passed down to friends and relatives, they consider haggling an art form. This in no way justifies bad behavior, understanding motives sometimes helps.

I sell online. When I offer something OBO [or best offer] lo and behold, the bottom feeders come out. “So and so on another listing has this for x dollars.” My response, if I make one at all is “great deal, you should buy it.”

This type of thing is a cross that many have to bear, myself included. I am told that suffering makes us better Christians in the long run. How we bear the cross makes a difference to the Lord. We gain no matter what, but if we learn the lesson, this type of cross can diminish.

In the meantime, you might read a book on working with difficult people. Research on the web. This will empower you. Minimize contact, as others have said, and don’t take the bait. When you do, forgive yourself and go on. It will work out, and this will someday be behind you.

Yes. Excellent.

 

[Rosebud77]

In some cultures, which can be passed down to friends and relatives, they consider haggling an art form. This in no way justifies bad behavior, understanding motives sometimes helps.

I sell online. When I offer something OBO [or best offer] lo and behold, the bottom feeders come out. “So and so on another listing has this for x dollars.” My response, if I make one at all is “great deal, you should buy it.”

This type of thing is a cross that many have to bear, myself included. I am told that suffering makes us better Christians in the long run. How we bear the cross makes a difference to the Lord. We gain no matter what, but if we learn the lesson, this type of cross can diminish.

In the meantime, you might read a book on working with difficult people. Research on the web. This will empower you. Minimize contact, as others have said, and don’t take the bait. When you do, forgive yourself and go on. It will work out, and this will someday be behind you.

PS: You can always craft a sellers note that discusses how your items are hand crafted. You can also state, and I would consider this verbiage, that “crass or insulting” offers will not be tolerated." In some arenas, insulting language can be reported.

Hate hagglers! My great weapon is that I knit non stop at the stall and can knit easy things without looking so I never pause if I am insulted… Seems to de-fuse them. Even when someone threw something at me ( yep!) I knitted on… Called the cops later of course The art is not to show emotion as that is what they want…My old age helps now too as it is harder to be really rude to an old lame person…

 

[EasterJoy]

Matthew 7:6 comes to mind…

Yes. Also remember that your primary audience is not the person whose mind will not be changed. Your primary audience are other readers whose minds might be changed or who might be edified to hear the position they already hold being defended with grace and ability and nothing more that would detract from those.

 

[AveOTheotokos]

Yes. Also remember that your primary audience is not the person whose mind will not be changed. Your primary audience are other readers whose minds might be changed or who might be edified to hear the position they already hold being defended with grace and ability and nothing more that would detract from those.

^This! Don’t get lost in the negativity of a non-receptive party, but focus instead on those that can be reached through your words. Keep them always kind but true and do not let your loving approach falter to those who oppose you. Focus on your true audience, even (and most especially!) if your only audience is our Father above.

1 Peter 3:15-16

15 but in your hearts reverence Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence;
16 and keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are abused, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.

1 Corinthians 13:1

1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

When faced with negativity or obstinacy, sometimes the right choice of words and “noncomplementary behavior” can completely disarm an opponent and completely change the dynamic of the interaction.

Also, Bishop Robert Barron has a good video explaining the true meaning of turning the other cheek that is really good:

The Path of Non-Violence

 

[Rosebud77]

My worst stall encounter in many ways was this dreadful woman evangelists on a coach full of the same from over the Border… Set eyes on the CATHOLIC ROSARIES and it was like a red rag to a bull… She came round the table and hemmed me in and prayed loud and long… I could nto even reach the Bibles I also have …A crowd gathered and short of being abusive?
Then she shouted, " AND NOW I WILL GIVE YOU A TRACT!" at which my courage rose and so did i…
Grabbed the nearest Bible!!!

She had opened her spiel with " ARE YOU TEACHING THE BABIES ABOUT JESUS?"

Tiny frail scraps of humanity to whom we are as Jesus in the milk and love we give and the prayer that surrounds them.

Amazing how many come over from the North with suitcases full ot costly tracts and they NEVER buy

 

[Elena321]

My worst stall encounter in many ways was this dreadful woman evangelists on a coach full of the same from over the Border… Set eyes on the CATHOLIC ROSARIES and it was like a red rag to a bull… She came round the table and hemmed me in and prayed loud and long… I could nto even reach the Bibles I also have …A crowd gathered and short of being abusive?
Then she shouted, " AND NOW I WILL GIVE YOU A TRACT!" at which my courage rose and so did i…
Grabbed the nearest Bible!!!

She had opened her spiel with " ARE YOU TEACHING THE BABIES ABOUT JESUS?"

Tiny frail scraps of humanity to whom we are as Jesus in the milk and love we give and the prayer that surrounds them.

Amazing how many come over from the North with suitcases full ot costly tracts and they NEVER buy

I can’t believe some of the experiences you have had!

 

[Eric_Hyom]

Does praying for them work?Sometimes it seems that prayer makes no visible change.

This is the prayer I like when I come across grumpy and aggressive people…

Now may the peace of the Lord be with you,
Now and always

May the Lord bless you
May the Lord keep you
And may God’s face shine upon you always
And give you peace.

This prayer works, because it changes my attitude towards them.

 

[Eric_Hyom]

I have been a Street Pastor for eight years, we go out in teams of three or four until around 4 am on a Saturday morning after the pubs shut. We have come across a lot of anger and violence over the years, some of it directed at us, but mostly its drunks being angry with other drunks.

We went through a comprehensive training course first, but the most profound words that have stayed with me are, ‘You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.’

Before we go out, we pray for our town, we pray that God will place in our path the people he needs us to meet, and we pray for the people we will meet. Having asked God’s help, we now have to do something. Whatsoever you do for the least of these brothers of mine, so you do unto me.

We saw a couple of hooligans punching the living daylights out of each other, It can be a risk looking for the good in all people, it can be a risk to treat everyone as if they are Christ. We walked towards them, and stood between them, trying to stop the aggression, I am 67, and the two ladies with me were older, one of them nearer 80.

After the punching stopped the taller lad towered over me saying, your F… Christians, you should forgive, would you forgive me if I stabbed your f… mother and raped her?
I said it is better to forgive than to hate, and the lads walked off.

I cannot explain the profound sense of peace that I experience in times of conflict, it transcends all my understanding. Philippians 4:4.

Next time I was out, the tall lad was with a couple of his mates, they saw us from across the road, he walked over to me and shook my hand, he did not say much, before walking off. This is often how conflict seems to end with Street Pastors, I never really understand the handshakes, hugs and kisses we get after conflict, but it happens so often.

 

[Elena321]

This is the prayer I like when I come across grumpy and aggressive people…

Now may the peace of the Lord be with you,
Now and always

May the Lord bless you
May the Lord keep you
And may God’s face shine upon you always
And give you peace.

This prayer works, because it changes my attitude towards them.

That’s a really nice prayer.

 

[Pier]

My worst stall encounter in many ways was this dreadful woman evangelists on a coach full of the same from over the Border… Set eyes on the CATHOLIC ROSARIES and it was like a red rag to a bull… She came round the table and hemmed me in and prayed loud and long… I could nto even reach the Bibles I also have …A crowd gathered and short of being abusive?
Then she shouted, " AND NOW I WILL GIVE YOU A TRACT!" at which my courage rose and so did i…
Grabbed the nearest Bible!!!

She had opened her spiel with " ARE YOU TEACHING THE BABIES ABOUT JESUS?"

Tiny frail scraps of humanity to whom we are as Jesus in the milk and love we give and the prayer that surrounds them.

Amazing how many come over from the North with suitcases full ot costly tracts and they NEVER buy

We should always remember to pray for the superstitious who have been taught errantly…

Keeping in mind that there IS always hope in Christ. †

 

[Pier]

I have been a Street Pastor for eight years, we go out in teams of three or four until around 4 am on a Saturday morning after the pubs shut. We have come across a lot of anger and violence over the years, some of it directed at us, but mostly its drunks being angry with other drunks.

We went through a comprehensive training course first, but the most profound words that have stayed with me are, ‘You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.’

Before we go out, we pray for our town, we pray that God will place in our path the people he needs us to meet, and we pray for the people we will meet. Having asked God’s help, we now have to do something. Whatsoever you do for the least of these brothers of mine, so you do unto me.

We saw a couple of hooligans punching the living daylights out of each other, It can be a risk looking for the good in all people, it can be a risk to treat everyone as if they are Christ. We walked towards them, and stood between them, trying to stop the aggression, I am 67, and the two ladies with me were older, one of them nearer 80.

After the punching stopped the taller lad towered over me saying, your F… Christians, you should forgive, would you forgive me if I stabbed your f… mother and raped her?
I said it is better to forgive than to hate, and the lads walked off.

I cannot explain the profound sense of peace that I experience in times of conflict, it transcends all my understanding. Philippians 4:4.

Next time I was out, the tall lad was with a couple of his mates, they saw us from across the road, he walked over to me and shook my hand, he did not say much, before walking off. This is often how conflict seems to end with Street Pastors, I never really understand the handshakes, hugs and kisses we get after conflict, but it happens so often.

Awesome!

 

[Rosebud77]

Home from market weary and stunned. I somehow managed not to post a prayer request I thought I had; maybe if I had…

In the village there has long been a biiter war between residents, shops and us “casual traders”… One sided as all we seek to do is make an honest few euros…

Last year it came to Garda drama.

I have involved in long and righteous correspondence with the various authorities .Cannot abide bullies. And what had continually been thrown at me is inferences and direct accusations of cheating ie not working for charity but taking money under false pretences.

Oh dear Jesus how that hurts…

A kind barrister has helped in all this and I really thought it had stopped.

But today along came the local Garda, threatening me with prosecution… same old stuff… I said that the local Superintendant had had proof he was satisfied but no.

Then a local man came along and started shouting and insulting… got his car number…

So many lovely and kind folk buying today… truly beautfiul…Thank You Lord!

Sigh… exhausted and must go back to the old correspondence; the only way to deal with this is officalese, firmness and standing up for right… Not showing weakness or ltetting be bullied…

Not a facet that has been listed here!!!
NB there are other stallholders in the same situation so I am advising and helping… Another facet not mentioned… supporting others when they are dealing with the not nice…

 

[Rosebud77]

I have been a Street Pastor for eight years, we go out in teams of three or four until around 4 am on a Saturday morning after the pubs shut. We have come across a lot of anger and violence over the years, some of it directed at us, but mostly its drunks being angry with other drunks.

We went through a comprehensive training course first, but the most profound words that have stayed with me are, ‘You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.’

Before we go out, we pray for our town, we pray that God will place in our path the people he needs us to meet, and we pray for the people we will meet. Having asked God’s help, we now have to do something. Whatsoever you do for the least of these brothers of mine, so you do unto me.

We saw a couple of hooligans punching the living daylights out of each other, It can be a risk looking for the good in all people, it can be a risk to treat everyone as if they are Christ. We walked towards them, and stood between them, trying to stop the aggression, I am 67, and the two ladies with me were older, one of them nearer 80.

After the punching stopped the taller lad towered over me saying, your F… Christians, you should forgive, would you forgive me if I stabbed your f… mother and raped her?
I said it is better to forgive than to hate, and the lads walked off.

I cannot explain the profound sense of peace that I experience in times of conflict, it transcends all my understanding. Philippians 4:4.

Next time I was out, the tall lad was with a couple of his mates, they saw us from across the road, he walked over to me and shook my hand, he did not say much, before walking off. This is often how conflict seems to end with Street Pastors, I never really understand the handshakes, hugs and kisses we get after conflict, but it happens so often.

((( ERIc))) there are no words, only loving thanks…

 

[Rosebud77]

I can’t believe some of the experiences you have had!

Life in Ireland has a dimension other countries lack… Called THE BORDER I think. If you work overtly for Jesus and His children in a small Irish village too…

 

[Pier]

Sometimes when I have been really really badly hurt, I ask God at the start of the day to bless the person every time I think of them… That way they get many many prayers…and we deal with the invisible do we not? A rude person is usually an unhappy person.

But I think also it is very important that we do shake the dust off our feet…

Well said… †

 

[Dorothy]

Does praying for them work?Sometimes it seems that prayer makes no visible change.

It may not make a visible change, but God’s grace can pierce one’s conscience. Hopefully they will eventually receive the grace of repentance.

 

[Norseman82]

I remember a visiting elderly priest recounting the story of an unpleasant border guard when he was returning from Canada. He said he thought about praying for her, but decided instead to pray for her husband…