What's a compassionate response to a non-remorseful, "Well, I had an abortion..."?

[estesbob]

I had hoped my answer to be understood as rhetorical.

It’s not always compassionate to gloss over a horrible sin. If someone murdered someone in front of me in cold blood, should I say “you poor dear, having a bad day?”

For me, I believe correction is in order in a case as this. Compassion is for when sorrow begins.

I know for me that I need to go and say “I’m sorry” when I’ve sinned. I know God loves me whether I’m in the state of mortal sin or not, but like it said in one of the readings at Mass last week, a good Father will discipline His children.

The prodigal son had to turn around first to get back to his Father’s house.

I believe as a Catholic I’m supposed to love the sinner but hate the sin.

I don’t think compassion should get mixed up with approval.

Just my 2 cents.

I think we have to let them know that while we dont approve we are there to help them when they come to regret their action.

 

[CatholicCajun]

I would just say I’m sorry and I’ll pray for you and your baby. It’s really hard to know what to say. And you may want to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy for her. God Bless.

 

[Malcolm_McLean]

Why should I be compassionate when there’s no remorse?

I think you’ve got to remember that there is no ideal response to sin. That’s partly how we know it is sin.

The abortive woman has created a difficult situation. If you show compassion you might err on the side of giving tacit support to abortion, or with some more manipulative wmen being drawn into a personal drama which she is creating around herself. On the other hand if you show no compassion you might be judgmental, you might reinforce the false impression that the Church is only for people who can keep up high moral standards.

Then you’ve got your own legitimate interests. Only rarely will you be in some position of authority. You are not necessarily called upon to sacrifice your own job, unrelated to abortion issues, just to make the point that you don’t accept the attitudes of an abortive woman, if that woman is someone you are expected to share an office with.

 

[St_Gabriel]

How about…

“Wow. Really? So many do have regrets. I know I would.”

It might cause her to think about it and not take it so lightly.

Her casual remark, could just mean that she is trying to justify her sin and is looking for sympathy.

 

[Netty313]

Yes, this is difficult. I think maybe after I could catch my breath after getting a really icky pit in my stomach to hear someone be so blatant like that … I’d say something like, “That’s really painful for me to hear you say that because I work hard on the other side of things. I believe all children should at least be given a crack at life. Would you like to hear any more of my thoughts on the abortion issue and why I feel it hurts women?”

Do you happen to know what is going on in Aurora, Illinois, regarding abortion? A Planned Parenthood facility moved into town under a different name but got found out. Now, they plan on opening Sept. 18th, but there is ALL sorts of protesting going on. Rallies, prayer vigils, even a Jericho March. Here’s a video that my husband and I put together from the Candlelight Vigil a few nights ago. And there’s also a video/articles on the Youth Rally as well. Here’s that link! fightingirishthomas.net/2007/09/video-auroras-candlelight-vigil-9-07-07.html

 

[Sina]

My two closest friends ( they are married ) had an abortion three years ago and they were engaged when they went forward with it. I told them my objections and they knew they would hear that from me and they were sorry to me, but not to themselves or God. I remember the girl had sad feelings a year after it happened. She has since had a little girl ( planned ). She was so excited when she was pregnant and the foetus was the size of a coin. I couldn’t understand how excited she was about the feotus of her daughter at that point, when she chose to discard a feotus of the same size just a few years earlier.

She is Orthodox, but obviously not practicing. She did have her daughter baptised and I am the Godmother, albeit a Catholic one.

In my heart, I consider myself to also be a Godmother to her unborn child who never had the chance to be baptised and born. I pray for the child and for her.

Abortion is so painful. I will be there for their whole family when and if the remorse hits.

 

[brosam]

How does one respond to a woman’s disclosure, “Well, I had an abortion” and “I have no regrets”.

Usually these women are acquaintances and the topic of conversation may be my opposition to abortion, or the Church’s teaching against abortion, or, really, any situation discussing our past lives.

I am at a loss as to how to respond. "I’m sorry!" is meaningless if the woman expresses no remorse. "Really?’ is too non-commital. *“You sinner!” *is…well…simply ghastly.

Suggestions?

I’d share the Gospel with her, same as I would with any unsaved person.