Spiritual consolation is about all I enjoy these days. Otherwise, all I want is to exit this life and go to Heaven.
Might you be clinically depressed? We cannot give medical advice on these forums, so I suggest you seek medical treatment or an evaluation at the very least.
I love life! I always see the good. ** I, of all people, have many reasons to be down and depressed, but that is not me. **
I was married just shy of 20 years. For about the last 5 years of my marriage, my husband was a severe alcoholic. When he drank, he was emotionally abusive. Due to his drinking, he drove us $50,000 into debt. He had a DWI (at 0.26 BAC!), several speeding tickets, and several minor car accidents and one major accident, all while drunk, causing his insurance rates to skyrocket. Due to his lawyer, he only had a suspended license for 6 months with all that. Eventually, his alcoholism killed him (thankfully not taking any other innocent person with him). I am now a single mother to 3 boys. I have to support myself and them (with 2 in college!) and maintain my house on a Catholic school teacher’s income. Yes, life insurance helps, but with the market so volatile, I cannot count on fantastic returns on investments at this point. Both of my sons’ grandfathers have been diagnosed with prostate cancer. One grandma has congestive heart failure. The other grandma is a cancer survivor.
How is my life? It is GREAT!! Why? Because I am alive, I am surrounded by a fantastic community, my sons are making me so incredibly proud, and my dog loves me! Seriously, things could be so much worse. But they aren’t. I enjoy each day, because each day is a gift. When I let my dog outside today, a butterfly was sitting on my flower basket outside my front door! How beautiful! I noticed. I appreciated. I thanked God for it.