What's the craziest Anti-Catholic whopper you've ever heard?

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Here is a post from an old thread I asked Michael Francis to lock:
I remember talking to a Catholic once who told me he was accousted by a fundamentalist looking for another ‘soul to win’. The Catholic was becoming very frustrated as the fundamentalist persisted and kept quoting Scripture at him. He ignored several subtle hints. and a few not so subtle. Finally the Catholic said: “I only discuss the Bible with adults”. The fundamentalist walked away very angry and said he would ‘shake the dust from his feet.’
I personally noticed this during my time in fundamentalist churches and when I encountered fundamentalists in the workplace.
They are extremely emotionally immature.
Quite frankly I see this on this forum as well. As soon as they find themselves facing facts they didn’t consider, or a question they cannot answer, they go on the attack and consign their opponent to Hell.
Now, I have my own ideas as to why this is, but I wanted to see what others thought.
And please, this is NOT an attack on all Protestants. Nor do I think they have a corner on childish behavior
In fact, I have seen Protestants ask the same question.
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patrick457 said:
Ah, but black helicopters are so 1980’s! 😉 Jesuits now prefer more modern means of transportation and espionage: say, spy cameras hidden inside banners of felt or holy water fonts filled with sand or ordinary-looking jets which are in reality operated by professional liturgical dancers and are equipped inside with glassware, earthenware and jars of cookies and grape juice should the need arise. :eek:
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Actually, that reminds me a lot more of the UCC Protestant church I used to attend. :eek:
 
According to the very informative site vaticanassassins.org/ the American Civil War was a Catholic conspiracy with many aims, among which was:
to champion Rome’s British Crown-led, anti-slavery, pro-socialist-communist, radical mass-emancipation/grand-theft-from-White/Black American-slave-owners movement
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So the Catholic Church wanted to steal the property of those fine White (and Black!) slave owners. The plot was conceived in Rome, but led by that bastion of Catholicism, the British monarchy, who also happen to be the defenders of Anglicanism.

When those sinister goals had been achieved, the evil Church ended the war this way:
Upon the Confederacy’s surrender at Appomattox Courthouse facilitated by Jesuit Temporal Coadjutor General Robert E. Lee in 1865, the old White Protestant South lay in ruins. Over 600,000 “heretic and liberal” Americans had been slaughtered—to the delight of Pope Pius IX (left) and his master, Jesuit General Peter Johannes Beckx.
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Wow, Robert E. Lee was a Jesuit, and I never knew it!

Seriously, this is the most demented thing I have ever read, and I only bothered with a few paragraphs. One can only wonder what other gems are hidden throughout this repository of asinine stupidity (and elsewhere in the Internet).
 
fkjuliano said:
Seriously, this is the most demented thing I have ever read, and I only bothered with a few paragraphs. One can only wonder what other gems are hidden throughout this repository of asinine stupidity (and elsewhere in the Internet).
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Speaking of gems, here’s another conspiracy, that the person who wrote a book called Vatican Assassins is actually some racist, diamond merchant. Google “Eric John Phelps exposed” and you’ll see a few links.
 
tjm190 said:
Anyone ever read the Jesuit Secret Oath?
People. Believe. This.
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Since the poster is a “dissident Catholic,” which is to say an apostate, I’m not sure if he is presenting that preposterous oath as something he believes in or as an illustration of anti-Catholic bias.

If it is the latter, this is the only possible response to our friend tjm190:

You. Are. An. Idiot.

In any case, let us pray that God grants him better discernment so that he will lay aside his “dissent” and become simply Catholic.
 
maximus said:
Interesting run-in with the “Chickettes”:whacky: , you did well:clapping: . It is amazing the amount of energy some anti-Catholic groups spend on spewing garbage and just down right vicious gossip. A good rule of thumb if a denomination frequently spends valuable time demonizing others is time to move on. Same with people you may contract for work around the house, if they speak ill of their competition or former employer it’s a red flag.

On a side note, a friend had an interesting story on how he became Catholic. He had a person from one of these radical anti-Catholic groups trying to bring him on board. He mentioned that the individual could only explain his faith in terms of how it opposed Catholicism and not present a clear definition of his denomination theology. He figured after all this the that probably going Catholic was the best way to go, once he investigated Catholicism he found his faith home.
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I know that is why I starting investigating the Catholic Church. When people found out I was a “cradle Catholic” whose parents left when 4, (more to the story but long), many would say things like well Catholics worship Mary. And I would say, “I don’t think so” but did not actually know what the Church taught.

So instead of continuing to feel completely stupid, I saw and picked up a Catechism of the Catholic Church. Everytime someone would ask or tell me what the Church taught or practiced, I would look it up.

Everytime, whatever they said, that would mean Catholics were not Christians, was NOT a teaching of the Catholic Church.

That’s what you get when you start off your bible reading with a prayer for the Holy Spirit to lead you to all Truth. Smack dab in the Catholic Church:)
 
Roy5 said:
I guess most posters here are finding all this amusing, but I confess to wondering why. Slanders against other churches are not funny. They are, among other things, unChristian, witnessing falsely, crude and much more. One gets the impression from these postings that lots of Protestants are rabid anti-Catholics.

.
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We have to laugh or we will not be able to go on for the tears.

And it is only slander or false witness if it is actually false.

Sadly, they are NOT false. Just false witness AGAINST the Catholic Church and her members.

As for the number of Protestants who are “rabidly anti-Catholic”, I could not really say except that I personally have lost a least a dozen friends who will no longer pray with me because I am no longer Christian. , since I now attend the Catholic Church.

I personally read these threads because it does help me to laugh about it. It doesn’t stop the tears when the personal encounters happen, but it helps.

God Bless,
Maria
 
fkjuliano said:
According to the very informative site vaticanassassins.org/ the American Civil War was a Catholic conspiracy with many aims, among which was:

So the Catholic Church wanted to steal the property of those fine White (and Black!) slave owners. The plot was conceived in Rome, but led by that bastion of Catholicism, the British monarchy, who also happen to be the defenders of Anglicanism.

When those sinister goals had been achieved, the evil Church ended the war this way:

Wow, Robert E. Lee was a Jesuit, and I never knew it!

Seriously, this is the most demented thing I have ever read, and I only bothered with a few paragraphs. One can only wonder what other gems are hidden throughout this repository of asinine stupidity (and elsewhere in the Internet).
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http://bestsmileys.com/lol/20.gifht...om/lol/1.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/lol/20.gif
MariaG said:
We have to laugh or we will not be able to go on for the tears.
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http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/6.gif
One of my grandmother’s favorite sayings about laughing over serious matters was “Its better to laugh than to cry”. I have found that this is so true.
 
DCNBILL said:
When I was a child a neighbor lady told me that all the Catholics had guns in their basements and were waiting for a signal from the pope to take over the world:shrug:
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Where did you meet my mother-in-law?

She called me “that EYE-talian Catholic girl” for about 20 years. She specified that the guns were in the basement at St. Anthony’s parish in South St. Louis. I think she probably figured out that the roller skating rink and bowling alley were installed to cover the noise of the practice range.
 
daeve said:
Where did you meet my mother-in-law?

She called me “that EYE-talian Catholic girl” for about 20 years. She specified that the guns were in the basement at St. Anthony’s parish in South St. Louis. I think she probably figured out that the roller skating rink and bowling alley were installed to cover the noise of the practice range.
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You went to St. Anthony’s? It wasn’t my parish (I grew up & went to school at Holy Innocents on South Kingshighway at Odell), but I remember going to skating parties at St. Anthony’s!

In Christ,

Ellen
 
I don’t know about craziest, but I think the funniest whopper I’ve heard is that some pope ordered Catholics not to eat meat on Friday because his brother (uncle, cousin, whatever) was in the fish business, and the pope wanted to send more business his way. That one still makes me snort. I guess this un-named pope was too stupid to simply order Catholics to eat fish on Friday. No, he had to make it ambiguous. Think how much money that cost his brother/uncle/cousin!
 
Not long after I became Catholic, I informed one of my former Protestant acquaintances.

His reply, and he was a highly qualified doctor, was “How you gonna feel when you have to bow down and worship a statue? Huh? Huh?”
 
Bob_Crowley said:
Not long after I became Catholic, I informed one of my former Protestant acquaintances.

His reply, and he was a highly qualified doctor, was “How you gonna feel when you have to bow down and worship a statue? Huh? Huh?”
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Ya know, I find it amusing that when someone always wanted to attack Catholic iconography, they’ll always pick on statues. I guess pictures or icons are okay then? 😉

And yeah, you might tell your acquaintance: “Hah, what outdated information. We Catholics now worship felt banners!” 😃
 
ALLGIRLS said:
You went to St. Anthony’s? It wasn’t my parish (I grew up & went to school at Holy Innocents on South Kingshighway at Odell), but I remember going to skating parties at St. Anthony’s!

In Christ,

Ellen
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I grew up in Holy Family, but we moved to Assumption in South County when I was in 8th grade. I remember Holy Innocents very well. An older girl on my block was in the special education class there. Last time I drove by it was a non-denominational church.

I loved going to St. Anthony’s but I would have liked to been able to wear pants. I always wore shorts under my dress in case I fell. My ex-husband’s family lived on Chippewa not too far from Grand. I was in some musicals at Augustinian and met a lot of girls from St. Anthony’s there. I think the bowling alley was actually at Ephiphany, but St. Anthony’s might have had one too.
 
My Adventist friend told me that the one day the Catholic Church is going to give lots of money to the United States goverment and then they will be in control of the country.
 
Roy5 said:
A word of caution. Just as there are anti-Catholic crazies, there are anti-Protestant crazies, some of them showing up here on CAF. I even wonder if such a thread as this is not basically aimed at demeaning Protestants.
Code: 
My own view is that Catholics and Protestants are both guilty of wild accusations, often outright falsehoods, more often half-truths. I recall as a child a good Catholic neighbor telling me that another child down the street was born with some sort of strange covering over his face. Why? His family had converted to Protestantism, and all children of such people were born with such a covering, a sign of God's condemnation. 

  I also recall being told that Protestants hate the Virgin Mary, which is totally false, of course.
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I have never heard or read any Catholic say anything like this. And I have had a LOT of contact with thousands of Catholics of all kinds of backgrounds. If it does happen, it is at least 100 times rarer than protestants telling outrageous lies about Catholics. I could show you instantly hundreds of protestant websites repeating the anti-Catholic lies mentioned here. Can you show me even one Catholic site telling outrageous lies about protestants?
 
CatholicLife said:
My Adventist friend told me that the one day the Catholic Church is going to give lots of money to the United States goverment and then they will be in control of the country.
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A friend told me that once.

I replied, “TOO LATE!”
 
Petergee said:
Can you show me even one Catholic site telling outrageous lies about protestants?
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I’d bet if he even finds such a site, it’s likely the people running it are on the sedevacantist fringe. Those people are an even smaller minority than the fundamentalists. :rolleyes:
 
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