What's the craziest Anti-Catholic whopper you've ever heard?

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Q-- What’s the difference between a Muslim and a bag of ****?
A-- The bag.
 
All of you Catholics who aren’t armed with at least a shotgun and ready to take over the world are hereby EXCOMMUNICATED!!!
 
In regards to the Wowbagger, Roy5 debate. I have to side with Wowbagger, Although his language can be viewed as harsh. It is truth, every word. You either believe in God our you don’t believe in God. You either are Catholic or you are not Catholic. You either follow the Apostolic teaching and Sacred Scripture or you don’t.

God’s mercy is grater then his judgement but his judgment is still there.

as for Anti-Catholic Whopper? This debate, however it is stimulating and riveting is Irrelevant to the thread.

My personal experience of Anti-catholic vs Anti-Protestant is that I have never once heard and Anti-Protestant remark in church during a Mass or in all my upbringing. I Believe especially during Mass and or a sunday sermon it is Irrelevant to cast lies or contrast differences. The first time I set foot into a Protestant Church I was told that by being Catholic, I did not go to a good Bible preaching church, have not excepted Christ as my Lord and Savior and would go to hell If I did not. I told the Baptist Minister that every sunday at Mass Catholic’s except Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. “Lord I am not worth to recieve you but only say the word and I shall be healed.”. This Baptist minister had true belief in Christ, but what he believed about Catholics was wrong. If you truely believe in Christ then you believe in truth. If you believe in truth then seek only that which is. If you want the truth about what the Catholic Church teaches go to the Church.

Sharing the whopper’s we have heard is something I and my Protestant friends both laugh about. I don’t believe this thread is a Protestant bashing thread. Some of the strange claims are simply somthing to laugh about.

God Bless
 
Bluegrass, a point of order to make your post a bit more comprehensible.

Except means excluding or differentiating. (I like all fruits except pears.)
Accept means to receiving or agreeing. (I accepted a package from the mailman.)

No offense intended; it’s just that your post doesn’t mean at all what I can only assume you want it to say.

Sam, the Neon Orange Knight
 
I hope this isn’t an addiction.

Just two points and no more.
  1. If you believe that Jesus is God, and people of other faiths believe in God, one could suggest that when the judgment comes Jesus could weigh the fact that they, in fact, worshiped him under a different banner. I spent time with a Hindu family in India. They were devout worshipers of God (one God, incidentally; they regarded other gods as symbols, expressions, functions, or whatever of the one God). In fact, if that family doesn’t get too heaven, the rest of us ought to be nervous. A saintly crew. They even asked me for a picture of Jesus to place in their panoply of the divine. I didn’t give them one, but it illustrated to me that they were open to eternal truth, from whatever source. There’s a story that Gandhi may have become a Christian as he admired Christ so much. The problem? When he tried to attend Christian churches when he was a young lawyer in South Africa, those good Christians won’t admit him because of his skin color!
Code: 
 By the way, Orange Knight, when I think of Orange Knight the Protestants of northern Ireland come to mind. Sorry about that. Now, in that part of Ireland you have had some crazied bigots, both Protestants and Catholics. My late father-in-law was from County Donegal, a devout Catholic, and an avid IRA sympathizer. Thank God the situation there seems to have improved recently. Religion can be such a fomenter of hatred when Christ commanded us to love instead. 

 2. When the lawyer inquired about eternal life, Jesus asked him re the law. Love God and love your neighbor was the lawyer's response. Jesus replied: "Thou hast answered right; this do, and thou shalt live." Luke 10: 24-37. Nothing in his response mentioned a doctrine or some particular church affiliation. I personally consider it a Christian 'heresy' to judge on the basis of belief or church connection. But heresies don't trouble me as much as they seem to upset many CAF posters. Won't it be ironic if they turn out to be the real heretics? But God is merciful, so if that's your worse offense you may relax and maybe sing a peppy hymn. 

 God bless Catholics, Protestants, people of every faith, skeptics, and all of God's children. Let's make religion a bridge and not a barrier. Let's take on more humility and recognize that this marvelous, mammoth and mysterious universe is beyond our finite understanding. Then we really put our trust in God and not in any human institution. (Yes, of course, many of you would argue about 'human institution'.)

 I must do more important things, though I sometimes think God just may have placed me on CAF to raise questions and stimulate independent thinking. Oh, oh - or, am a an evil agent of Satan? Speaking of hymns, I like an old one which begins: "You go to your church and I'll go to mine, but let's walk along together." Anybody old enough to remember Seth Parker? My grandma used to sing this hymn which he apparently wrote and popularized decades ago.
 
Roy5,

You are completely off topic. And I believe that what you are asking us to do is water down our faith–something I find completely unacceptable. The disciples I believed were called zealots…

This thread is not anti-protestant…in fact at times people have not shared who said the whopper. It would be anti-protestant if we were sharing untruths about the Protestant faith…although it would be different if you were talking Lutheran or Assembly of God. You know something like…the alter call is really when they sacrific small children… But that would be a different thread. I have many friends that are Protestant and some of them I’m sure I will lose when I tell them I am now Catholic.

Bottom line–the Church is a big target…conspiracy theories and such…which allows the whoppers to really run rampant.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a basement to dig and a gun to buy…😃
 
daughterofgrace said:
Was asked this on campus this year.:

Do Catholics believe that Jesus died for their sins?

I didn’t know to laugh or to cry.

Also, when students discuss their religious backgrounds, they’ll often reply that they are Christians after we announce we are Catholic. Our answer?: So are we. 🙂

Guess that’s South Alabama for you.
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A fellow South Alabama resident! 😉

I like the true story about the bishop here (decades ago) who, when traveling about the state, would purposely remove his biretta to show that he DID NOT HAVE HORNS!!! Some of the fundamentalist, anti-Catholic locals believed that the reason the biretta was shaped that way was to hide them!
 
With regard to the contentious turn that this thread has taken; is there such a thing as Truth? I believe there is, and that the fullness of it resides in the Catholic Church. Serious mistakes (sins, if you will) may have been committed by Catholics towards non-Catholics, but that is because the Church is full of sinful humans, not because the Truth she holds is in error.

The one other point I would like to address is the oft-mentioned exclusivity of Holy Communion. We believe that the Eucharist is truly the Body and Blood of Jesus, and, therefore, that those who receive Him should profess that belief, as well. I see that not as a sign of disrespect to non-Catholic brethren, but as an affirmation of the utter holiness of the Sacrament. If you want to receive our Eucharist, simply study, investigate, enroll in RCIA, and, if you come to the conclusion that Christ is truly present in the Sacrifice, join the Church, and us in Holy Communion. Nothing is stopping you!

By the same token, I don’t participate in the communion distributed at other Christian churches (at weddings, etc.) because I don’t share their belief. It seems like simple common sense to me.

I can’t imagine belonging to any Church that I did not believe possessed the Truth; why bother? 🤷
 
Anyone ever read the Jesuit Secret Oath?
I_______________ , now in the presence of Almighty God, the blessed Virgin Mary, the blessed St. John the Baptist, the Holy Apostles, St. Peter and St. Paul, and all the saints, sacred host of Heaven, and to you, my Ghostly Father, the superior general of the Society of Jesus, founded by St. Ignatius Loyola, in the pontification of Paul the Third, and continued to the present, do by the womb of the Virgin, the matrix of God, and the rod of Jesus Christ, declare and swear that His Holiness, the Pope, is Christ’s Vice-Regent and is the true and only head of the Catholic or Universal Church throughout the earth; and that by the virtue of the keys of binding and loosing given to His Holiness by my Saviour, Jesus Christ, he hath power to depose heretical Kings, Princes, States, Commonwealths, and Governments, and they may be safely destroyed. Therefore to the utmost of my power I will defend this doctrine and His Holiness’s right and custom against all usurpers of the heretical or Protestant authority whatever, especially the Lutheran Church of Germany, Holland, Denmark, Sweden and Norway, and the now pretended authority and Churches of England and Scotland, and the branches of same now established in Ireland and on the continent of America and elsewhere and all adherents in regard that they may be usurped and heretical, opposing the sacred Mother Church of Rome. I do now denounce and disown any allegiance as due to any heretical king, prince or State, named Protestant or Liberal, or obedience to any of their laws, magistrates or officers. I do further declare the doctrine of the Churches of England and Scotland of the Calvinists, Huguenots, and others of the name of Protestants or Masons to be damnable, and they themselves to be damned who will not forsake the same. I do further declare that I will help, assist, and advise all or any of His Holiness’s agents, in any place where I should be, in Switzerland, Germany, Holland, Ireland or America, or in any other kingdom or territory I shall come to, and do my utmost to extirpate the heretical Protestant or Masonic doctrines and to destroy all their pretended powers, legal or otherwise. I do further promise and declare that, notwithstanding, I am dispensed with to assume any religion heretical for the propagation of the Mother Church’s interest; to keep secret and private all her agents’ counsels from time to time, as they entrust me, and not to divulge, directly or indirectly, by word, writing or circumstances whatever; but to execute all that should be proposed, given in charge, or discovered unto me by you, my Ghostly Father, or any of this sacred order. I do further promise and declare that I will have no opinion or will of my own or any mental reservation whatever, even as a corpse or cadaver (perinde ac cadaver), but will unhesitatingly obey each and every command that I may receive from my superiors in the militia of the Pope and of Jesus Christ. That I will go to any part of the world whithersoever I may be sent, to the frozen regions north, jungles of India, to the centres of civilisation of Europe, or to the wild haunts of the barbarous savages of America without murmuring or repining, and will be submissive in all things, whatsoever is communicated to me. I do further promise and declare that I will, when opportunity presents, make and wage relentless war, secretly and openly, against all heretics, Protestants and Masons, as I am directed to do, to extirpate them from the face of the whole earth; and that I will spare neither age, sex nor condition, and that will hang, burn, waste, boil, flay, strangle, and bury alive these infamous heretics; rip up the stomachs and wombs of their women, and crush their infants’ heads against the walls in order to annihilate their execrable race. That when the same cannot be done openly I will secretly use the poisonous cup, the strangulation cord, the steel of the poniard, or the leaden bullet, regardless of the honour, rank, dignity or authority of the persons, whatever may be their condition in life, either public or private, as I at any time may be directed so to do by any agents of the Pope or Superior of the Brotherhood of the Holy Father of the Society of Jesus. In confirmation of which I hereby dedicate my life, soul, and all corporal powers, and with the dagger which I now receive I will subscribe my name written in my blood in testimony thereof; and should I prove false, or weaken in my determination, may my brethren and fellow soldiers of the militia of the Pope cut off my hands and feet and my throat from ear to ear, my belly be opened and sulphur burned therein with all the punishment that can be inflicted upon me on earth, and my soul shall be tortured by demons in eternal hell forever. That I will in voting always vote for a Knight of Columbus in preference to a Protestant, especially a Mason, and that I will leave my party so to do; that if two Catholics are on the ticket I will satisfy myself which is the better supporter of Mother Church and vote accordingly. That I will not deal with or employ a Protestant if in my power to deal with or employ a Catholic. That I will place Catholic girls in Protestant families that a weekly report may be made of the inner movements of the heretics. That I will provide myself with arms and ammunition that I may be in readiness when the word is passed, or I am commanded to defend the Church either as an individual or with the militia of the Pope. All of which I,_______________, do swear by the blessed Trinity and blessed sacrament which I am now to receive to perform and on part to keep this my oath. In testimony hereof, I take this most holy and blessed sacrament of the Eucharist and witness the same further with my name written with the point of this dagger dipped in my own blood and seal in the face of this holy sacrament.
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People. Believe. This.
 
JohnCS said:
I’m particularly fond of the Whore of Babylon story. The Church itself is the Great Whore who gives birth to the Anti-Christ, which if I remember right is one of the Popes. Oh and I saw somewhere that some of the Pope’s names and numbers added up eqaul 666 or some such =)
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It’s an egregious argument. I heard somewhere that the anti-Christ won’t actually believe in Jesus, so it’s impossible for it to be the Pope
 
The worst I’ve heard is “But the the Church is against like, abortion and s**t.” Now, imagine a dumb six foot three jock saying that with a dumb, blank expression. Though, a friend told me that the Church is “so last year” but he does agree with every social teaching the RCC has, so he’s not really an anti-Catholic, just a Protestant who disagrees with the Church on some issues.
 
Wowbagger said:
I read in my school newspaper last week that “The Catholic Church did not admit Galileo was right until 500 years after it tortured him to death for teaching that the Earth goes around the sun.”

First, of course, there’s the commonly-held misconception that Galileo was censured for teaching Copernican theory (in fact, he was censured for teaching it as known fact rather than promising theory, and in fact had a major endorsement from Pope Urban VIII and the approval of the Vatican establishment for his Copernican leanings). I always find it amusing when this is brought up.

But the idea that the Church either tortured Galileo or played any role whatsoever in his (natural) death, much less tortured him to death, is so outrageous as to cross the line into gut-clenchingly funny.

At least, I thought so.
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Did you send a complaint to the head of your school newspaper? Or to the administrator? I’m sure they’d hate lies like this.
 
Roy5 said:
Over 100 years ago a certain Fr. Chiniquy, a former priest who became a Protestant evangelist (I believe in Canada?), wrote a book or pamphlet claiming that the assassination of Lincoln was a papal plot. There was no truth to this charge at all.
Code: 
Chiniquy also wrote that Booth and co-conspirators were Maryland Catholics who met at a Catholic Mass to work out details on their plan to kill the President.

 Obviously the first part was totally false. Does anyone know if the second part is also patently false?
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Nope. Booth was baptized into the Anglican Church. Even if he was Catholic, or if his conspirators were, so what? They don’t represent the Catholic Church just like this dude doesn’t represent Canadian Christians
 
MarcoPolo said:
All of you Catholics who aren’t armed with at least a shotgun and ready to take over the world are hereby EXCOMMUNICATED!!!
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Shotgun!? B-but-but, I only have swords! D8
Can’t ya lower the standard… just this once!? DX
 
Gift_from_God said:
Did you send a complaint to the head of your school newspaper? Or to the administrator? I’m sure they’d hate lies like this.
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It was a letter to the editor, and the policy is that the paper doesn’t edit those except for spelling and grammar, so the paper staff couldn’t do anything about it. I left a comment correcting it (and mocking the letter-writer a bit, which I had to confess later), so I did what I could.

Also on-topic: the Jesuit Oath has to be my favorite crazy anti-Catholic lie ever. I’ve only ever heard it on the Internet, though. I guess that’s a good thing!
 
I now return to this thread’s ongoing side topic: the Wowbagger - Roy5 Public Disputation of May 2010.
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Roy5:
I hope this isn’t an addiction.
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The first step is admitting that you have a problem! 😉

But, seriously, you’ve been here three years and you’ve only got 900 posts? Don’t sweat it. This thread will eventually die out or get mod-locked, and that’ll be the end for a long while. In fact, it’s dying quite rapidly even now, as your responses consign more and more of the substance of our earlier discussion to the heap of tacit agreement. The light at the end of the tunnel is beckoning! Thank goodness - I don’t have this kind of time to keep giving.

You put the question to me (in a sort of roundabout way), “How can you say that it is impossible for anyone outside Catholicism (like Hindus) to know, love, and serve God?” As a matter of fact, I don’t think that. Not at all. The mercy of God is huge, His expressions many, and the hearts of Men, though hidden from me, are complex beasties. I rather doubt that I am going to get into heaven before, say, Socrates, or Abe Lincoln. I said this quite some time ago, but I’ll say it again more clearly here: neither I nor the Church holds that all other belief systems are evil through and through.

Rather, a religion or belief system is good insofar as it is true. This means that it can only be good insofar as it agrees with Catholicism, which is infallibly true because it teaches with the authority of God Himself. Sometimes, we even stumble upon individual beliefs (or whole systems!) that are complementary and add to Catholicism, which we then incorporate. These occasions are the most joyous for us. This was what happened when we encountered Aristotle in the High Middle Ages. We also cannibalized everything good in Paganism. Frankly, I’m also hoping that there’s still much we have to learn from Hindus, Jainism, and even (perhaps most especially) Islam. I don’t think Protestantism has much to offer us that’s new in terms of doctrine, although it certainly has a lot of energy, Biblical focus, and certain charisms that are frankly lacking in Catholicism today. Insofar as they are true, other religions are good and should be encouraged to continue exploring. A full, honest search for the truth will ineveitably lead them back to the Church.

A religion is evil insofar as it is false (which is the same as saying that it is evil insofar as it contradicts infallible Catholic teachings). When they teach that the Church has not Magisterial authority, or that men can be reincarnated as cows, or that God is neither personal nor loving, or that morality’s real origin is a social contract, then those religions are doing harm to their adherents. In this respect, other religions are the enemy, to be opposed and destroyed by education, good argument, and – most importantly – by Christian witness.

I don’t think it’s such a leap to say that truth is good and falsehood evil. Nor is it such a leap to say that the Catholic Church is infallibly true when she teaches solemnly on universal issues of faith and morals. Nor, accepting the first two premises, is it such a leap to hope that, if the Hindu family you mentioned is truly “open to eternal truth, from whatever source,” they will eventually come 'round and discover that the Incarnation of that Truth founded a Church. It is not such a leap to hope – to pray – for their conversion. I don’t doubt that they are very good people, as you describe. But wouldn’t they be happier in the daylight of Christianity, rather than the pre-dawn twilight which you celebrated with them? Is not truth better than falsehood? Is truth not the enemy of falsehood?

Of course, you do not seem to believe that truth or falsehood are knowable. You certainly don’t think that any of the current religions have any close grasp on the reality of the world, and certainly not that Christianity has any pre-eminent claim on the truth. This is why I question your self-identification as a Christian. It is also why I question your mission: you appear to be a missionary in ecumenist’s clothing, preaching a wholly new religion under the guise of bringing about a greater communion between those already existing.

On the other hand, it is a stretch to call your system religious, since it has no doctrines. What is religion without doctrinal beliefs? Isn’t it mere sentiment? Why do we need a religion to feel sentiment? How do we justify belief in right and wrong, truth and falsehood, good and evil, without beliefs on which to base them?

A side point:
I personally consider it a Christian ‘heresy’ to judge on the basis of belief
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Wikipedia: “Heresy is a controversial or novel change to a system of beliefs,” channelling Belloc: “Heresy is the dislocation of some complete and self-supporting
scheme by the introduction of a novel denial of some essential part
therein.”

In short: to consider something a heresy is by definition to judge on the basis of belief. You attempt to shame me, but you only contradict yourself. Hypocritically, at that.

In the particular passage we were discussing, Christ is clearly referring to the authority of the Mosaic Law of the Jewish Church (and none other). Your claim that Christ mentions neither a doctrine nor a church affiliation is blatantly contradicted by the text in every translation. The irony, of course, is that you picked this passage, not me.

In closing, my favorite Chuch song is Faure’s Requiem in D Minor. If my parish started playing the Seth Parker tune you mention, I would probably report it to the bishop. But I suppose that’s the difference between you and me. 🙂
 
elvisman said:
**John MacArthur’s **charge that the Vatical has the largest library of pornography in the world…

THAT guy is a real piece of work . . .
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Here was his comment…
“The largest collection of books in the world on the subject of sex is in the Vatican library.”

biblebb.com/files/MAC/catholicscandal.htm

Boettner was quoting Dr. Alfred Kinsey, who ibelieve at one time was a catholic theoloian.
 
Biggest whopper I’ve heard?

That Vlad the Impaler was either a Pope or somewhat related to one. Consequently, the Eucharist (body and blood) are vampiric sacrifices or some such blood worship all leading up somehow to a future Pope being the anti-Christ.

There’s a million variations on that one too.
 
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