I did stop looking and was resigned to the single life and no children then this guy showed up and our values seemed to match and we seemed to have the same goals so I thought maybe this was the guy…obviously I was wrong.
I agree completely with this.
If he hasn’t received a decree of nullity, he isn’t free to date and dating you is committing adultery. Maybe the priest assisting him with his decree of nullity told him it was inappropriate to date and he didn’t know how to tell you?
To be honest that crossed my mind too.If he hasn’t received a decree of nullity, he isn’t free to date and dating you is committing adultery. Maybe the priest assisting him with his decree of nullity told him it was inappropriate to date and he didn’t know how to tell you?
It could be an accident, but the two could also be linked somehow. What are the signs that a guy is confident and outgoing? What kind of behaviour would you describe as confident and outgoing? To what extent did the “bad” guys exhibit that behaviour? How was it different from confident and outgoing guys whom you know to be “good” ones (family, friends, some men you like but wouldn’t or couldn’t date)? Did you use a trick or were you fooled in a particular way, especially more than once? If so, what was it? What kind of behaviour or emotional states or even vibes did those “bad” guys exhibit when things were starting to go awry? Could it be possible to read those vibes or identify those behaviours at earlier stages, i.e. before things get to fighting or running?
At this point I doubt that would bother him. He mentioned having an advocate though.If he hasn’t received a decree of nullity, he isn’t free to date and dating you is committing adultery. Maybe the priest assisting him with his decree of nullity told him it was inappropriate to date and he didn’t know how to tell you?
You keep pushing this and I find it offensive that you want to relegate a whole class of people as being unworthy of a relationship. I’m just glad that my baggageless boyfriend is willing to take on the challenge of dating and likely marrying a mom of 4, and he does know that the ex is someone who isn’t going away. It bothers me to read blanket statements like yours. Realtionships, and marriage relationships especially, aren’t all about what you can get out of the deal. They are also about what you can give. I greatly appreciate that the man I am seeing cares enough to consider what he has to offer my family, and it isn’t a one-way thing at all.
Maybe not. But just something to keep in mind if you meet another divorced man. It should bother you, because you are also committing the sin of adultery by dating a married man.At this point I doubt that would bother him. He mentioned having an advocate though.
Just something to keep in the front of your mind. Hold out and wait for a nice, honest guy that keeps you in the loop of things and makes you feel important everyday! 
This is largely due to girls also playing mind games, yes when you’re older people just want to settle down and have kids bla bla, but when you’re in your teens to mid 20’s I’d say the mind games are fairly common place.Where? All I can find are the game players.
I’ve always been open and honest in my relationships and I don’t want or need to play games…maybe that’s why I’m still single. I can’t change who I am though and I was never good at flirting or being elusive. If it works for you River I guess wonderful but for me it seems dishonest and superficial.This is largely due to girls also playing mind games, yes when you’re older people just want to settle down and have kids bla bla, but when you’re in your teens to mid 20’s I’d say the mind games are fairly common place.
Furthermore it’s largely the girls that are into mind games, not guys.
If all you can find are game players, then play the game
As it should!
If it’s any consolation, I watched my sister go through many of the same trials you describe (though she didn’t have quite your conviction or self-esteem). Time after time she would find a guy who seemed like the greatest guy in the world, unlike all of the other previous jerks she’d dated. He’d say all the right things and give her all sorts of attention. But then, he’d turn around and pull junk like this.
That’s actually possible. But it’s no reason to despair. Think of what trouble you’re not getting in.
Good decision. Don’t take it against him too much, either. People make mistakes and at some point when they’re not even in our lives, it makes little point dwelling on it. Plus, griefs from previous relationships make it harder for the new ones to flourish. Bottled up ill emotions are an explosive package… or a latent poison or whatever. Depends on people, I guess. At any rate, they don’t do any good and that one is sure. So, forgive and move on.
I’m glad for her.As it should!
If it’s any consolation, I watched my sister go through many of the same trials you describe (though she didn’t have quite your conviction or self-esteem). Time after time she would find a guy who seemed like the greatest guy in the world, unlike all of the other previous jerks she’d dated. He’d say all the right things and give her all sorts of attention. But then, he’d turn around and pull junk like this.
I can remember one in particular that did almost exactly this. She talked to him about how painful it was when guys pulled this stuff and he wholeheartedly agreed. He’d call her three times day, at least (once in the morning just to say “Good morning”, once at night to say “Good night”, and any number of times in between). Then, suddenly and inexplicably, he ceased calling her altogether and she never heard from him again. No explanation. Nothing.
Fortunately, she finally did find a great guy who is authentic. It was probably a little later in life than she would have hoped (late 30s), but they are now married and very happy together. Hang in there!
I’ve been through a very long series of jerks that why I get upset over stuff like this easily…it’s really boring.And remember he’s considered married.Well I did get a message this morning saying he’d had been busy. Hum…4 days and he couldn’t fit in even one text to me. Wants to go out on short notice. Sorry I have other plans which indeed I do. I honestly made other plans last night.
Here is my suggestion. Kick the dust off and move on without looking back.Well I did get a message this morning saying he’d had been busy. Hum…4 days and he couldn’t fit in even one text to me. Wants to go out on short notice. Sorry I have other plans which indeed I do. I honestly made other plans last night.
Indeed. I’d be more apt to consider River’s dating advice if he would tell us how it led him to a long, loving, successful marriage. He doesn’t appear to be married, though. Perhaps once he does tie the knot, he can come back and share with us how the game-playing has enriched his marriage.:ehh: ummm… with no mind games…?
