When did RCC start charging to use the Church for marriage?

[turtle18]

My sister is getting married and all of the churches she has checked into are charging between $150 & $1000 for the use of the Church, even if you are a member. When did this start? When my other sisters got married 10 years ago & 15 years ago, the church was free. Of course, you paid the musician & the priest but you didn’t have to pay to use the Church. This seems inherently wrong–You don’t have to pay to use the Church for any other sacrament–or are they charging for funerals now too?

 

[PaixGioiaAmor]

My sister is getting married and all of the churches she has checked into are charging between $150 & $1000 for the use of the Church, even if you are a member. When did this start? When my other sisters got married 10 years ago & 15 years ago, the church was free. Of course, you paid the musician & the priest but you didn’t have to pay to use the Church. This seems inherently wrong–You don’t have to pay to use the Church for any other sacrament–or are they charging for funerals now too?

Let’s see … They don’t go to mass, they contribute $0 to the parish all year long … they become members 6 months before the wedding so that they can get married in the church … They are never seen again after the wedding …

Yeah, the church is going to try to get some donation from them. Besides the HELL that they often put the church through, from their attitudes to trashing it the day of the wedding …

Nothing in life is free. Sorry, no sympathy.

 

[kage_ar]

Your sister should speak to her Parish, where she is an active member.

There are many threads about the amout a Parish requires for use of the facilities - a few things that cost money:

The utilities (the wedding party will want electricity, water, etc.)

The personell (someone has to be there to open the building for rehersals and the wedding day).

Clean up, insurance, etc.

If your sister cannot afford these things, I am sure her Priest will work with her to arrange a simple ceremony that will not cost her.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

My sister is getting married and all of the churches she has checked into are charging between $150 & $1000 for the use of the Church, even if you are a member. When did this start? When my other sisters got married 10 years ago & 15 years ago, the church was free. Of course, you paid the musician & the priest but you didn’t have to pay to use the Church. This seems inherently wrong–You don’t have to pay to use the Church for any other sacrament–or are they charging for funerals now too?

Ignore the PGA, these threads always upset her.

Many churches charge for the Church because of the rising cost of utilities. Churches need to be lit, cooled, etc…
The church charge also usually includes having the maintenance staff come in and clean the Church afterward.
Weddings are, inherently, more of a joyous occasion and can get a little messy. Remember also that sometimes people attending the weddings are lapsed Catholics or non-Catholics who bring things like water bottles, etc. Don’t forget forgotten programs and other tidbits left behind.

If your sister is so inclined, she can always have her wedding during the Saturday evening Mass to cut down on the cost of the Church.

 

[Ravyn_Guiliani]

we had our wedding on the Church’s name Feast Day at Mass and we cleaned it up ourselves. We only paid the priest.

 

[Guitar]

Ignore the PGA, these threads always upset her.

I think the PGA is a “him” (referred to his fiance as a “she” in another thread, anyways) and though his/her language could be softer, unfortunately it’s often all too true.

I did about 150 weddings a year for many years, over 90% of them Catholic. Not every couple are clueless “user-uppers” that expect unpaid volunteers to allow priority use of and free access to the church they built for their own worship and provide a full event coordination service for nothing, but a substantial portion of wedding couples expect exactly that. Honestly, when you’re “in the business’” you see all sorts of behaviour you wouldn’t believe if you hadn’t seen it for yourself.

Some come prepared to pay something for utilities and assistance, just as you do in any function venue. Others are surprised at a charge but once they understand what a wedding ‘costs’ the parish in terms of time, effort and consumables, they “get it” and happily contribute. And some just think they have a right to blow in off the street and have it all turned on for them for free.

Then there’s the ones that drive all over town picking out picturesque churches and booking several, choosing one eventually but forgetting to cancel the others. I work in a couple of churches with this problem and my cousin’s the organist in another in a different town. All now require non-refundable deposits for bookings, to stamp out this practice.

All that said, I don’t know of one church or priest that wouldn’t waive the fee when couples are up against it. It’s just fair though that if you can buy a $4000 dress and spend $2000 on flowers, you should give the church something for the electricity and the office time to process paperwork and the priest’s time to interview you and the sacristan’s time to arrange the church and open up for the rehearsal and all those other unseen but important things. But if you could only afford an Indian cotton wedding dress and a Vinnies Boutique suit to get married in, my church and priest would come for free and I would play for you for nothing.

Turtle, AFAIK, these sorts of fees have come in over the last 20 years or so. Popular churches have higher fees as they have greater running costs and greater need to protect themselves from abuse. A charge like $150 seems more like a church just covering costs and maybe a donation to a sacristan. And again AFAIK, there isn’t a church charge for funerals. But then most people don’t throw lots of money around on discretionary trimmings at funerals, and funeral expenses are usually unplanned. It seems reasonable to me.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

I think the PGA is a “him” (referred to his fiance as a “she” in another thread, anyways) and though his/her language could be softer, unfortunately it’s often all too true.

Really? huh.
Well, I stand corrected.

 

[puzzleannie]

we have this discussion at least 4 times a year, if you would be interested, you could find comparisons with practices in different areas.

you are not being charged for the sacrament, if you choose to use the church, with all the overhead involved in opening it, heat, light, a/c, maintenance etc. for a few hours for rehearsal and wedding, who do you think should pay for it? why me in the pew? why should I subsidize your wedding? you can do it for free by exchanging vows in any regular Mass on the schedule, or after any regular Mass,

you want extra, you pay extra

in this parish, the modest fee covers barely half the actual cost of using the church, mostly because of high energy costs.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

My sister is getting married and all of the churches she has checked into are charging between $150 & $1000 for the use of the Church, even if you are a member. When did this start? When my other sisters got married 10 years ago & 15 years ago, the church was free. Of course, you paid the musician & the priest but you didn’t have to pay to use the Church. This seems inherently wrong–You don’t have to pay to use the Church for any other sacrament–or are they charging for funerals now too?

Well there is a dilemma. The Church in no way can even suggest that there is a fee for the celebration of any Sacrament and Canon Law indicates that Sacraments must be celebrated in a Catholic church. (under normal circumstances) If it’s a Catholic/Catholic Marriage it should be within a Mass, which I can’t see being celebrated in the Social hall when the church is sitting there empty. So how does the parish resolve that.

 

[fellowChristian]

How much is the dress?

How much are the invitations?

How much is the cake?

How much is the limo?

How much is the photographer?

How much for the DJ?

How much for the flowers?

My daughter is getting married in October 2008 and we paid for the church (250.00) and we are paying for the hall in back (1300.00). We are not rich either,but these things I am ok with. It’s the other stuff above I have a problem with.

$4.00 a slice for a cake??? 4 * 300 = $1200.00

I made every cake for this child why not this one?

$1.00 per invite??? 1* 300= $300.00

For paper???I can make those too.

$ 2000.00 - 4000.00 for feeding everybody???

Did somebody say potluck???

If you can’t afford it talk to the priest.I am sure something can be arranged.

 

[Phemie]

My sister is getting married and all of the churches she has checked into are charging between $150 & $1000 for the use of the Church, even if you are a member. When did this start? When my other sisters got married 10 years ago & 15 years ago, the church was free. Of course, you paid the musician & the priest but you didn’t have to pay to use the Church. This seems inherently wrong–You don’t have to pay to use the Church for any other sacrament–or are they charging for funerals now too?

Yes they are. $150 in our area.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

we have this discussion at least 4 times a year, if you would be interested, you could find comparisons with practices in different areas.

you are not being charged for the sacrament, if you choose to use the church, with all the overhead involved in opening it, heat, light, a/c, maintenance etc. for a few hours for rehearsal and wedding, who do you think should pay for it? why me in the pew? why should I subsidize your wedding? you can do it for free by exchanging vows in any regular Mass on the schedule, or after any regular Mass,

you want extra, you pay extra

in this parish, the modest fee covers barely half the actual cost of using the church, mostly because of high energy costs.

“Who do you think should pay for it? Why me in the pew? Why should I subsidize your wedding?”

Well on a basic level yes. All Sacraments are celebrations of the parish community. So yes the parish should supply the basics for a regular celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage, within Mass if it’s Catholic /Catholic. I think even on Saturday afternoon even, however when possible during a regular Mass if that is common in the parish.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

As others have told you, Turtle, your sister is not paying for the sacrament, but the usage of the church, the fees involved with processing the paperwork, pre-marriage counseling, etc.

If your sister and her groom are willing to work it out with the priest and parish staff, I am sure they could have a lovely, but simple, wedding, during a regularly scheduled Mass. “Simple” in this day and age of making the reception THE activity, instead of the sacrament at hand, and the bride in a huge dress at the center instead of God, would probably bring a novel quality to your sister’s wedding.

 

[IrishAm]

As to "when did RCC start charging . . . ", I don’t know about all parishes on the planet, but we paid an appropriate fee (thing were cheaper then) in 1971 in the middle of the midwest, and my parents paid a bit less given the economy of the time in 1948.

There are always costs that need to be borne, and they have nothing to do with “paying for sacraments.” More like paying for electricity, cleaning crews, etc.

Many blessings on your sister’s marriage.

 

[puzzleannie]

“Who do you think should pay for it? Why me in the pew? Why should I subsidize your wedding?”

Well on a basic level yes. All Sacraments are celebrations of the parish community. So yes the parish should supply the basics for a regular celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage, within Mass if it’s Catholic /Catholic. I think even on Saturday afternoon even, however when possible during a regular Mass if that is common in the parish.

yes of course, for the sacrament, but why should I contribute to your daughter’s lavish wedding, pay the janitor overtime, run the A/c for a few hours, when we can barely afford current operating expenses? for a parishioner who participates in parish life and attends Mass, yes, and in a tithing parish that would be a given. for someone who is not contributing to the support of the parish, why? we are not talking about paying for a sacrament we are talking about paying for use of the physical plant and its associated costs.

also thread title is wrong
“the RCC” as in the pope, bishops and people do not charge for weddings. OP’s parish or the churches she has consulted charge basic fees for use of parish facilities. OL of Peace parish is NOT “the RCC”

in every parish I have worked in the basics are free, although there may be a nominal charge for something like a workbook or class. the fees for the marriage encounter and Focus test for instance are charged by the people who run the retreat and those who administer, score and interpret the test, not by the parish, and are legitimate and reasonable. the overhead associated with support of clerical and pastoral staff, which is a huge and ongoing investment, is absorbed by the parish. the stipend for the celebrant and those assisting such as organist etc. have been discussed elsewhere and are legitimate and in no way constitute paying for a sacrament.

for a summer wedding actual cost of opening the church for rehearsal and wedding is over twice what we actually ask for, and all other associated expense–including by the way a big investment in sponsor couple training for example–is absorbed by the parish.

 

[1ke]

No one is being charged for the Sacrament. Marriage takes only two witnesses and the priest in a simple 15 minute ceremony in the chapel on any day of the week. Other Sacraments take place during the regularly scheduled Mass or another public Mass added for the occasion if a large number will all receive the Sacrament together. If the bride and groom want to get married at a regularly scheduled Mass I am sure it would be free.

However, that is not what brides and grooms want. They want private use of the entire church for a number of hours. THAT is what you have to pay for. The amount varies significantly from place to place.

 

[Seatuck]

My sister is getting married and all of the churches she has checked into are charging between $150 & $1000 for the use of the Church, even if you are a member. When did this start? When my other sisters got married 10 years ago & 15 years ago, the church was free. Of course, you paid the musician & the priest but you didn’t have to pay to use the Church. This seems inherently wrong–You don’t have to pay to use the Church for any other sacrament–or are they charging for funerals now too?

They probably started charging around the time the bulk of the congregation stopped tithing. If everyone tithed you wouldn’t have these fees for everything including tuition. But that is not the world we live in hence the individual must bear the burden of paying for electricity and such. There are fees associated with funeral masses also.

 

[catherineajt]

here are some reasons why a church would want a nominal fee for the wedding:

Electricity and utilities cost something. Normally the church would not be used at the time the wedding takes place, so extra utilities are being used.

The caretaker has to come out and unlock the doors on his normal time off. Then he has to come back out and lock it up/get it ready for the Saturday evening Mass.

You think a church cleans itself? More people in there, more mess. Flowers make a mess, the bathrooms get used, et cetera.

Wear and tear. Consider it like a rental deposit. You wouldn’t go to a secular rental hall and expect to be able to use it for free, would you? Remember that it is only customary to give the priest a monetary consideration, not demanded. I think when I got married back in 1999, we had to pay the church 250 for the use of the chapel, and we gave the priest 150, as well as paying the music minister–who, by the way, would normally not have been working that day and who also helped us choose the proper type of music for the ceremony.

It was worth it. We weren’t paying for the sacrament, but the use of the physical building. It was a lot cheaper than renting a hall somewhere else!

 

[GregoryPalamas]

turtle,

The assumption has been made that your sister is not a member of the parish at which she wishes to be married. The assumption comes from your comment that she has checked around at several churches. If she is a member of a parish why is she checking around? Shouldn’t membership mean something? In any event the use of Church buildings cost money.

CDL

 

[Scottgun]

It’s like instead of checking out a book at the library for free, but rather asking that the library open up after hours, let no one else in but yourself and select friends and the staff, so you can browse and check out books for free.