When do Catholic girls start seriously contemplating marriage?

[fellowChristian]

I never thought about marriage,still don’t, then I met “him”. We were married three days after my 20th. birthday. My only rule? it had to be in the church, my grandma said so.

Our oldest never thought she’d ever get married. Then she met “him” they were married Oct 18th,2008. They’re both 18.

 

[KCtheMommy]

22 for me

 

[Belgarion]

I’ve read many courtship books that put the proper age at the mid twenties…thought I have seen many marriages do VERY well at earlier ages. And the contemplation would have been even earlier!

My own sister married at 20!
She and her husband were contemplating getting married since she was 17!
Crazy stuff…Lucky sis

 

[chevalier]

I’ve read many courtship books that put the proper age at the mid twenties…thought I have seen many marriages do VERY well at earlier ages. And the contemplation would have been even earlier!

Nah, that’s just some societal stuff. The biological age is around 18-19, canon law minimum is 16 for men, 14 for women, 26 used to be or still is considered old bachelor or old spinster for the purpose of getting a dispensation more easily as a matter of difficulty in finding a partner. Thus mid-twenties is probably someone’s idea of getting a degree and a job first - or a reflection of how the society is today, as indeed, most people aren’t ready by earlier than 25.

 

[Belgarion]

Nah, that’s just some societal stuff. The biological age is around 18-19, canon law minimum is 16 for men, 14 for women, 26 used to be or still is considered old bachelor or old spinster for the purpose of getting a dispensation more easily as a matter of difficulty in finding a partner. Thus mid-twenties is probably someone’s idea of getting a degree and a job first - or a reflection of how the society is today, as indeed, most people aren’t ready by earlier than 25.

I agree.

Its more of a societal thing.

I tend to favor the early twenties (21 or 22) myself. Though I’d be happy with earlier.

But those darn women… …They are so confusing.
But I’m seeing the same time frame coming from at least one woman I know!

 

[chevalier]

I agree.

Its more of a societal thing.

I tend to favor the early twenties (21 or 22) myself. Though I’d be happy with earlier.

But those darn women… …They are so confusing.
But I’m seeing the same time frame coming from at least one woman I know!

Or her father.

And I don’t know what age is good in today’s world. I almost said that some time ago it was more in accord with the biological clock, but then I recalled that actually, there was a good number of men marrying rather late, even late thirties, for the first time. So it was just early for women. Early twenties sounds good, but I believe people change so much at university, probably especially when they do arts and they’re exposed to a swarm of new ideas, that they’re often hardly the same person. Then I suppose not change as much as a lot of maturing happens when they get their after-school job, as much as previous jobs had felt rather adult. So in the end, people change a lot. Doesn’t mean they can’t stick together and I guess a lot of fun is there in growing up together. But I suppose you may often be disappointed if it doesn’t work out. See, I have friends with big age differences. Actually, one is not even legally adult (male) and at least three are 19 and female. And yet, something completely out of the ordinary would have to happen for me to pursue “that avenue” with a young woman in her early twenties - precisely because of those changes ahead, even though that’d be precisely the “right” age difference, biologically speaking. They’re pretty adult right now and for all intents and purposes you can consider them grown and all. Except in a couple of years lots of stuff will be different. I suppose some time at this point - i.e. during those changes ahead, already in the young adult stage - they will start considering marriage seriously. Who knows how their taste in guys will change as a result. Oh, wait, I’ve just apparently named a concrete age. Oh well, as a matter of gross estimate that’d be it. Some time in the middle of university or whatever other formative thing they are doing (closer to the end, though, than to the beginning, I’d say).

 

[Belgarion]

Or her father.

…ha ha HA…very funny

 

[Kuryakyn]

somewhere around 5

Yeah.

 

[chevalier]

If they start at 5, which I’d be willing to agree with since five year old girls are the most reasonable beings on the earth, then they take a long break later. Most of them.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

I wanted to get married and have kids when I was 3 – I apparently told my grandmother so.

All of my birthday/Christmas money went into a savings account, that I called my “Future Wedding Fund,” when I was around 11 years old. My parents probably thought I was just being cute, but I was serious.

I prayed all through junior high school (ages 12 to 14) for God to place my future husband into my life before I went to college, because I was very frightened of college dating.

He answered my prayers.

I met my husband when we were 15, we admitted a mutual attraction for each other at 17, I was baptized Catholic at 20, and we married at 22. I would’ve loved to have gotten married sooner, but college had to be finished first (per my husband’s wishes).

I realize I am weird.

 

[ac_claire]

Not sure if Catholic girls are any different from the rest in this regard, but I thought I’d ask, anyway. After college? When they enter their mid or late twenties? After 30? I know it’s different for everyone, but I just wanted to get a ballpark. Thanks in advance!

It depends. I’ve always been marriage-minded, even as a teenager. I knew that I didn’t even want to date anyone if there wasn’t the possibility that we would or could get married eventually.

And I always knew it was my vocation to be a wife and mother. But I didn’t start thinking seriously about it until the past couple years. We’re talking my late 20’s.

Also, meeting someone who could make a suitable husband and/or falling in love can turn an apathetic, happy-go-lucky girl into a marriage-minded woman real quick.

 

[Kuryakyn]

If they start at 5, which I’d be willing to agree with since five year old girls are the most reasonable beings on the earth, then they take a long break later. Most of them.

Well, even if I feel like that I know I wouldn’t show it to every guy who comes into my life-- it’d probably scare whoever it was a million miles away.

And five-year-olds “reasonable”? I must introduce you to my little sister.

 

[Just_wondering]

Also, meeting someone who could make a suitable husband and/or falling in love can turn an apathetic, happy-go-lucky girl into a marriage-minded woman real quick.

:clapping: :yup: Here, here! (or is it hear, hear?)

 

[chevalier]

Well, even if I feel like that I know I wouldn’t show it to every guy who comes into my life-- it’d probably scare whoever it was a million miles away.

Point there.

And five-year-olds “reasonable”? I must introduce you to my little sister.

Weeell… In my experience those little girls can be much more reasonable than the adults. A bit of a cliche theme, I know, but there is some truth to it.

 

[The_Sojourner]

I started really considering marriage as a vocation when I was 12. There followed six years of really wrestling with discernment. It helped that two of my girlfriends and I made a pact not to date until we were 18. Then my 18th birthday came round and there was just…peace. It’s hard to describe, but I felt suddenly utterly sure that God was going to work things out for me to be married.

Several months earlier I had met the Boy, but we didn’t really start talking until a few days before my birthday. (He found out about my birthday two days after and gently scolded me for not telling him.) We quickly became best friends, but he was not at all interested in dating (he thought it a secular construct doomed to failure and heartbreak) and not sure if he even wanted to be married.

God brought him round in April. We call our relationship “dating” but we don’t really do a lot of the conventional dating stuff. He told me “I’d like to marry you someday” when we’d been dating all of 3 weeks or so. About 2 months ago we had a serious discussion of when “someday” was. If I had my choice, I’d want to be married in about a year. (Which would put me around my 20th birthday.) If Boyfriend had his choice, we’d be married already. (Him 19, me 18.) Unfortunately, there are outside circumstances beyond our control which are indicating that it’ll be at least 3 years. (So, him 22/23, me 22.)

In short: Was sure that I would get married someday at 18, had first date at 18 1/2, would like to be married at 19 or 20, probably won’t marry until 22.

 

[seafoamgreen]

I can really only speak for myself here. As a single Catholic girl, I’m about to finish graduate school and turn twenty five and I would say that finishing up my education is always a milestone I wanted to complete before meeting my future husband. This way I would always be able to support myself, no matter what happened in life. I will now say that I am planning on finding a job after I graduate this summer, and spending my free time trying to fulfill my ultimate life goal, which is to become a wife and mother - so wish me luck - and send any eligible young men my way !

 

[Belgarion]

I can really only speak for myself here. As a single Catholic girl, I’m about to finish graduate school and turn twenty five and I would say that finishing up my education is always a milestone I wanted to complete before meeting my future husband. This way I would always be able to support myself, no matter what happened in life. I will now say that I am planning on finding a job after I graduate this summer, and spending my free time trying to fulfill my ultimate life goal, which is to become a wife and mother - so wish me luck - and send any eligible young men my way !

Oh boy…you shouldn’t have said that!

 

[Magickman]

When do Catholic girls start seriously contemplating marriage?

Around the time that they wake up in the morning.

 

[stringbeanduck]

Well, even if I feel like that I know I wouldn’t show it to every guy who comes into my life-- it’d probably scare whoever it was a million miles away.

And five-year-olds “reasonable”? I must introduce you to my little sister.

I’ve had at 5 year old go after me. Yes it scared me. Of course when I was 5 I went after my sister’s friends.

 

[seafoamgreen]

Oh boy…you shouldn’t have said that!

Hey - if anyone knows any nice Catholic boys in the vicinity of Tennessee/Kentucky (and there aren’t many Catholics here to begin with!) - send 'em my way!