When do you allow your children to court/date?

[Faithful_Mom]

I have 6 children, ages 19,18,16,13,13, and 9. I realized at a very early age that my dating patterns would not be what I would want for my children. ( my first kiss was in 4th grade) I also realized that the do as I say not as I did rule probably wouldn’t work either. I was introduced to a book, long ago by a woman named Stormie O’Martin (not sure on the spelling) It is called " THE POWER OF THE PRAYING PARENT" Although it is not specifically a Catholic book, it is excellent in that it helped me realize my responsiblilties as a mother and as a proxy for God. One of them is to hand “my” children over to His guidance and care.

I didn’t set an age for my children to begin dating with my first three daughters, but have always had an open discussion with them on friends and their lives. I have let them know that I am praying for them and their future spouses ( with the acknowledgement that Christ can be a spouse) As it turned out none of my girls began even looking at boys until they were in their late teens (17ish) My 19 year old has had three “freindships"and the 18 year old has had 2. The 16 year old " dated” a boy for about a week about a year ago and seems in no hurry to find another beu.

My younger three are faced with pressures from friends at school, media, and society in general to begin dating at an even younger age. We have discuused that several of their friends are " dating" even at the tender age of 8or 9. both my 9 and 13 year old have been " asked out" by boys, and my 13 year old son has been apporached by a girl. These situations were brought home for open discussions at which point I did set my foot down and pointed toward my older children as role models. I think there was relief in their little eyes when I told them they were too young to enter the dating arena.

I feel like as a parent I am obligated to approach this and other subjects with care, sensitivity and prayer BEFORE it becomes an issue.

 

[kaymart]

I did not see 16 to 18 (it went from 14-16 to young) to over 18. With my kids, usually it’s right before the Jr Prom they usually go out a few times (parents driving because 17 is driving age here) before the actual prom. This is a double or group date. Senior year I allowed Car dates only if we met the boy/girl a few times at home first. We also allowed “to date” at home in the rec room, but we stayed out of the room provided the door was opened. Never had an objection except for one loud mouth boy who never came back:clapping: I would be lying if I didn’t say I was happy to not see him with my daughter again!!!