When Does "Friend " Become "Foe"?

[Little_Dove]

Thank you, Sister!

 

[Jesus_N_Cherie]

I haven’t read all of the posts.

I think a point to make here is that it depends on the influence the friend can have over our lives and faith.

I have a friend who is a crack addict and HIV positive. I have the luxury of being his friend, because I will never allow him to influence me in a bad way. Yet, I have also known people who were closer to him than I myself am. One was in a romantic relationship with him. That was NOT good for her, as he influenced her life.

We must be available to ministers of the truth at all times…to all people. That does not mean that we should allow them to have influence over our lives.
People who lift us up in our Faith are the ones to allow the gift of influence…and only after discernment.
Others we can be friends with…close friends with even…without allowing thier influence. It is to those that we must hopefully witness to the most. We should SHOW them the love of God.
By influence, I mean someone who has the ability to give advice that I will take. To let them lead.
I think it would be harmful to associate with my friend while he was engaging in unhealthy or immoral behaviour. He knows that I want nothing to do with such things, and to compromise would be a harmful witness to him.

Jesus associated with persons of ill repute…but what were His words to them?
“Sin no more.” He didn’t accept what they were doing. He associated with them that they may come to the TRUTH and turn away from sin.

St. Matthew was a sinner. Did St. Matthew continue in his sinful behaviour after meeting Jesus? No.
Did St. Mary Magdalene? No.

Are we to bring Jesus to others and vice versa by our words and actions? Yes.
And it is our job to witness also against their sin.

My friend who is an addict knows his sins. And it is my job to lift him up to Jesus and out of the slavery of addiction. It is not to tell him that his acting on his addictions are alright. And I speak louder with actions than with words.

Hope this makes sense.
God bless you all.
Cherie

 

[Sister_Helena]

Further on the subject of friendship, how does privacy and openness appropriately exist in friendships and relationships with Catholics (devout and non-devout), Christians, and those of other religions or no relation at all.

I think this is a question of personality. How comfortable are you in opening yourself up to others like your friends? There should be a degree of transparency necessary in friendships, where you can be honest and open with a true friend. But I think there should also be boundaries involved. There are intimate things of a personal nature that may not be appropriate to be shared. Some graces of God may be better savored in silence than shared with others because they lose their strength when it becomes common-knowledge. If you can imagine your soul as a jar of sweet perfume, you would not want to keep it open all the time because the scent gets dispersed and sooner or later, the fragrance is gone. It is rare to find a true friend. If you do have one, you are very fortunate. You can have many acquaintances but choose only few friends. The best advice I can give is this: when in doubt, always bring it to Jesus and ask him. True friendship is based on respect and mutual love of God. When a friendship is based on God, it is not conditioned on how much a friend does or say. It loves the friend for who he or she is, unconditionally.
Others may have a different opinion.

 

[Sister_Helena]

I haven’t read all of the posts.

I think a point to make here is that it depends on the influence the friend can have over our lives and faith.

I have a friend who is a crack addict and HIV positive. I have the luxury of being his friend, because I will never allow him to influence me in a bad way. Yet, I have also known people who were closer to him than I myself am. One was in a romantic relationship with him. That was NOT good for her, as he influenced her life.

We must be available to ministers of the truth at all times…to all people. That does not mean that we should allow them to have influence over our lives.
People who lift us up in our Faith are the ones to allow the gift of influence…and only after discernment.
Others we can be friends with…close friends with even…without allowing thier influence. It is to those that we must hopefully witness to the most. We should SHOW them the love of God.
By influence, I mean someone who has the ability to give advice that I will take. To let them lead.
I think it would be harmful to associate with my friend while he was engaging in unhealthy or immoral behaviour. He knows that I want nothing to do with such things, and to compromise would be a harmful witness to him.

Jesus associated with persons of ill repute…but what were His words to them?
“Sin no more.” He didn’t accept what they were doing. He associated with them that they may come to the TRUTH and turn away from sin.

St. Matthew was a sinner. Did St. Matthew continue in his sinful behaviour after meeting Jesus? No.
Did St. Mary Magdalene? No.

Are we to bring Jesus to others and vice versa by our words and actions? Yes.
And it is our job to witness also against their sin.

My friend who is an addict knows his sins. And it is my job to lift him up to Jesus and out of the slavery of addiction. It is not to tell him that his acting on his addictions are alright. And I speak louder with actions than with words.

Hope this makes sense.
God bless you all.
Cherie

You expressed yourself well. I would like to add that in friendship, it is often the stronger of the personalities which has the greatest influence on another. It is prudent to know one’s weaknesses and strengths.

 

[Sister_Helena]

While respecting individual rights and beliefs, we are also mandated by Christ to evangelize other people, to share the Good News. Of course, evangelization is a tricky business. Rule of thumb is we cannot give what we do not have. So lest we be accused of “noticing the splinter in our neighbors eye and ignoring the beam in our eyes,” we should begin with evangelizing ourselves, then we can proceed and bring our brothers and sisters into the fold of what is true, good and beautiful. How do you do that without turning people off? How do you correct without hurting or insulting? Or does hurting others sometimes inevitable? As I said before it can be difficult… Share your experiences as I’m sure you have plenty! I opted to keep this subject in this thread because it can happen that a friend turns to foe when the truth becomes painful. What do you do then?