When people tell me that I should become a priest, is it wrong if I feel insulted?

[anode]

More verbal than physical; it only got physical when I finally snapped but I haven’t done any real damage every time I did. Those people were lucky I was just a fat, stupid kid back then.

Also, I have tried seeing a counselor a few times (which is the best I can get seeing as school counselors are always so booked even in college… no wait especially in college >_>;; ). So far I’m not sure if it’s enough and have managed to get over for the most part… just not the part that I’ve lost most, if not all my self-esteem. ):

Yeah you can say that. And maybe you are right, maybe the reason why they tell me to be a priest is because of that stereotype. -.-;; I have stood up for myself though without getting crazy and I have managed to quit being too sensitive to what people say (I mostly just roll my eyes now). I just wish I could get more of the recognition that you’re talking about. It seems to be coming but only in small amounts and still not at a rate compared to how much I get criticism.

Trust me, I do my best to hide the geek but then again, the geek is who I am. Also, I’m not exactly going for a regular girl here. No offense but two of the bullies I had in high-school were girls that were sort of like the ones you’re talking about (strong-minded and athletic) and they’re practically the main reasons why I didn’t enjoy my high school days. They’re also the reasons why I’ll never fall for girls like that. They’re too dominating and independent (heck one of them ended up a lesbian). -_- I have female friends with similar personalities but they’ll always stay that way, just friends.

I think that you need ongoing counseling with a professional counselor. This doesn’t have to be a PhD/MD type, but can be someone with a master’s degree in counseling. Your insurance may cover this. I believe that this is top priority for you and will be well worth it, even if you have to work to pay for it.

I realize that I didn’t express myself clearly re the athletic girls–I mean women who have serious interests. It can be computer science and games if you can find someone. I don’t think that you’d be interested in airheads.

Although you’re interested in women, you should try to get your problems straightened out before you start thinking about commitments. You want to bring a positive attitude to a relationship, not a whole agenda of unresolved problems. There should be no rush to get involved in relationships.

 

[puzzleannie]

Since you have rejected all the advice offered you here and from people who know you, I would have to agree with the advice to get counselling to help you deal with these negative feelings you have about yourself. We will be praying for you. No, you cannot be a priest–or a good husband/doctor/lawyer/teacher/policeman or any other vocation unless you become the best person you can which includes first and foremost confronting your own sin and repairing your relationship with God.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Well here’s the thing: I don’t. I mean if anybody were to assume I was in a humorous manner, I’d be a little irked; those who do so naively will induce embarrassment and a major guilt trip. >_>;;

That seems to be your issue, something for you to work on. Again, I suggest you get a spiritual director to discuss this with, also the previous poster that said counseling might be of a help was correct.

You make assumptions based on what people say to you that you really can not make without knowing the mind of the individual, which you can not know.

You should take the complement as it is and move on.

Well I have and have actually come to some interesting conclusions. None of them lead to priesthood though. I just simply consider it a, eh, a sort of a double tease when people suggest me to be something I am neither clean enough (and am not exactly willing to be clean enough) or stable enough to withstand the celibate solitude of religious life.

No one is worthy. No one is “clean enough”.

As Saint Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:15, “It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.”

And we recite at the Divine Liturgy of st John Chrysostom in the Ruthenian Church just before communion;

O Lord, I believe and profess that
you are truly Christ, the Son of the
living God, who came into the
world to save sinners of whom I am
the first.

Accept me today as a partaker of
your mystical supper, O Son of
God, for I will not reveal your
mystery to your enemies, nor will I
give you a kiss as did Judas, but
like the thief I profess you:

Remember me, O Lord, when you
come in your kingdom.
Remember me, O Master, when
you come in your kϊngdom.
Remember me, O Holy One, when
you come in your kingdom.

May the partaking of your holy
mysteries, O Lord, be not for my
judgment or condemnation1 but for
the healing of soul and body.
O Lord, I also believe and profess
that this, which I am about to
receive, is truly your most precious
body and your life-giving blood,
which, I pray, make me worthy to
receive for the remission of all my
sins and for life everlasting. Amen.

O God, be merciful to me, a sinner.
O God, cleanse me of my sins and
have mercy on me.
O Lord, forgive me for I have
sinned without number.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

I must also caution, a feeling like this may be a sign of false humility.

That is why you should speak of this to a spiritual director or confessor.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

I think that you need ongoing counseling with a professional counselor. This doesn’t have to be a PhD/MD type, but can be someone with a master’s degree in counseling. Your insurance may cover this. I believe that this is top priority for you and will be well worth it, even if you have to work to pay for it.

I think you’re overestimating my financial capabilities here. I’m just a college student . I don’t have a job. I don’t have insurance. This is really the best I can get and believe you’re not the first to say I get more counseling… the problem is everyone here does too so I’m not exactly alone in that one.

I realize that I didn’t express myself clearly re the athletic girls–I mean women who have serious interests. It can be computer science and games if you can find someone. I don’t think that you’d be interested in airheads.

Meh, don’t worry. I go for timid, religious types (ironic that sounds coming from me ). I doubt a girl like that can be called an airhead.

Although you’re interested in women, you should try to get your problems straightened out before you start thinking about commitments. You want to bring a positive attitude to a relationship, not a whole agenda of unresolved problems. There should be no rush to get involved in relationships.

I don’t know. Somehow I get the feeling all I really need is simple: a person who’ll recognize me. I’ve done and tried believing in myself but I can’t keep it up without support. Like I said, I can only go so far in life relying on a bodiless voice in my head.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

No, you cannot be a priest–or a good husband/doctor/lawyer/teacher/policeman or any other vocation unless you become the best person you can which includes first and foremost confronting your own sin and repairing your relationship with God.

Look grave sin is not my problem here. They’re not the only things that can be forgiven you know. I’m not sinless but my sensitivity to my mistakes is what burdens me, not my sins. Heck people say I’m moral compared to many others my age (which may not be priest level but I’ll take that as a compliment any day).

That seems to be your issue, something for you to work on. Again, I suggest you get a spiritual director to discuss this with, also the previous poster that said counseling might be of a help was correct.

Look I think I’ve pretty much done what you’re all suggesting (heck my school requires me at least one retreat a year). I’ve gone to counseling a few times but that still leaves me unsure.

You make assumptions based on what people say to you that you really can not make without knowing the mind of the individual, which you can not know.

You should take the complement as it is and move on.

Hey just cuz I don’t take it as a compliment doesn’t mean I go on all-out rage. It’s the same way people can easily forgive an offense against them when it’s done in ignorance. You see when someone tells me to be a priest without fully knowing me but is sincere, I will simply be inclined to enlighten the individual.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

requires

me at least one retreat a year). I’ve gone to counseling a few times but that still leaves me unsure.

I know what you mean. Do you have a spiritual director?

I too tried counseling back in my early discernment and it did not help all that much.

My suggestion would be pastoral counseling. Find a priest you really trust and ask to speak to him. If it is too much for him he should tell you but then he should be able to refer you to someone that can help.

 

[jfoges]

Stuff like this happens to me every now and then. Whenever my parents go to a nearby church for some religious function (e.g. baptism, wedding, Holy Week etc). They would often joke that since I frequent a religious forum like this one and I’m reading apologetics, they tell me I oughta be a priest.

Now hopefully they were really kidding but I just felt rather insulted whenever they (or anyone else for that matter) does that. I don’t get angry but I still feel a tad bit offended.

Don’t get me wrong, I have every ounce of respect for the priesthood and I know this one guy that I support because he sees it as his vocation.

However, it’s that same respect that makes me feel insulted whenever somebody suggests I be one too. If there’s one thing I know more than anybody, it’s myself. And knowing myself so well along with the responsibility a priest carries, I know that I’ll probably be the biggest insult to the vocation. I’d probably make that guy Fr. Andrew Greeley look like a gentleman.

Furthermore, I am a really, really, lonely person. I’m one of those who are content with an intellectual relationship with God because I feel alienated by those celibate religious who have a spiritual and emotional relationship with Him. In short, it just doesn’t ring with me.

I can only go so far in life, relying on a bodiless voice in my head. I’m no saint. I’ve been a victim of bullying for nearly eight years in my past and it has just made me long for God to give me that special girl because my heart’s still cold from all those people putting me down every day back then. People who tell me that I be priest just add insult to injury.

I don’t think you should feel offended at all. There is nothing wrong with being a priest, it is a noble calling and only the best type of people are really fit for it. I think you should be complimented if people think you are cut out for that life. Whether you want to do it is another issue.

 

[IrishJoe]

Stuff like this happens to me every now and then. Whenever my parents go to a nearby church for some religious function (e.g. baptism, wedding, Holy Week etc). They would often joke that since I frequent a religious forum like this one and I’m reading apologetics, they tell me I oughta be a priest.

Now hopefully they were really kidding but I just felt rather insulted whenever they (or anyone else for that matter) does that. I don’t get angry but I still feel a tad bit offended.

Don’t get me wrong, I have every ounce of respect for the priesthood and I know this one guy that I support because he sees it as his vocation.

However, it’s that same respect that makes me feel insulted whenever somebody suggests I be one too. If there’s one thing I know more than anybody, it’s myself. And knowing myself so well along with the responsibility a priest carries, I know that I’ll probably be the biggest insult to the vocation. I’d probably make that guy Fr. Andrew Greeley look like a gentleman.

Furthermore, I am a really, really, lonely person. I’m one of those who are content with an intellectual relationship with God because I feel alienated by those celibate religious who have a spiritual and emotional relationship with Him. In short, it just doesn’t ring with me.

I can only go so far in life, relying on a bodiless voice in my head. I’m no saint. I’ve been a victim of bullying for nearly eight years in my past and it has just made me long for God to give me that special girl because my heart’s still cold from all those people putting me down every day back then. People who tell me that I be priest just add insult to injury.

I used to be like you. I used to wonder. However my reading of apologetics ultimately led me to question my religion more and I am not a practising catholic although I am now getting married in 20 weeks. If you seek not to be lonely then it is possibly not your vocation, it is how I knew as I would wake up and feel alone. Now that I am engaged I do not feel like that .
However if you are worried about being ‘unworthy’ - priests are human men. They are not saints on earth and do not get (many) super powers in terms of avoiding sin. Like all people they do wrong . However as you will know when falling we just get back up again and try harder. God is justice and has wrath, but he is also truth, mercy and love. They may be equal in measure but an ounce of gold is worth more than an ounce of silver

 

[iBenedicta]

Stuff like this happens to me every now and then. Whenever my parents go to a nearby church for some religious function (e.g. baptism, wedding, Holy Week etc). They would often joke that since I frequent a religious forum like this one and I’m reading apologetics, they tell me I oughta be a priest.

Now hopefully they were really kidding but I just felt rather insulted whenever they (or anyone else for that matter) does that. I don’t get angry but I still feel a tad bit offended.

Maybe they’re not too familiar with what it takes to be a priest. Or maybe they’re just trying to make conversation. I wouldn’t let it get to you, the more you hang onto it the more its going to bother you. Next time the topic comes up, just smile and tell them, “Sorry, I don’t think I’m the stuff of priests!”

However, it’s that same respect that makes me feel insulted whenever somebody suggests I be one too. If there’s one thing I know more than anybody, it’s myself. And knowing myself so well along with the responsibility a priest carries, I know that I’ll probably be the biggest insult to the vocation.

Priests? Sin?! No way.

Actually, priests will sin and have to confess just like any other person. They’re human too.

I’ve been a victim of bullying for nearly eight years in my past and it has just made me long for God to give me that special girl because my heart’s still cold from all those people putting me down every day back then. People who tell me that I be priest just add insult to injury.

That sucks that you were bullied, I was too as far back as I can remember. I’ve always been the ‘odd one out’, either because of appearance or mannerisms or interests (I was really into video games and anime–not so much anymore, but some people find these interests weird). I even got picked on for not being a baptized Christian. The sooner you can let these things go, the better off you’ll be.

And please, don’t think a woman is a pretty little trinket that will be the answer to all your life problems. Sure, a woman can be a companion and may solve your problem with loneliness, but she may bring whole new challenges in your life. All healthy relationships require compromise. You need to be okay with who you are and become emotionally independent, and then the single ladies will look for you.

According to other posts, you’re 21. Don’t see yourself at 21 as what you’ll be like for the rest of your life. It is likely you’ll change dramatically in the next few years.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

However if you are worried about being ‘unworthy’ - priests are human men. They are not saints on earth and do not get (many) super powers in terms of avoiding sin. Like all people they do wrong . However as you will know when falling we just get back up again and try harder. God is justice and has wrath, but he is also truth, mercy and love. They may be equal in measure but an ounce of gold is worth more than an ounce of silver

I get that point but let’s look at things at a more down-to-earth perspective for a bit. Who do you think is more likely to be front page news when caught in a scandal, a priest or a teacher? As much as I wish it were otherwise, today’s blatant anti-Catholic/Christian prejudices make the former a bigger “scoop” (infuriating that is for me ).

I just don’t wanna add more fuel to the fire that’s all.

Maybe they’re not too familiar with what it takes to be a priest. Or maybe they’re just trying to make conversation. I wouldn’t let it get to you, the more you hang onto it the more its going to bother you. Next time the topic comes up, just smile and tell them, “Sorry, I don’t think I’m the stuff of priests!”

That’s what I tell them. Thank goodness I’ve only run into people who do it jokingly and not those naive enough to actually believe that (or worse, have become so shocked by the dwindling number in the priesthood that they’ve become desperate to turn every single dude they see into a member shudder >_>;; ).

Priests? Sin?! No way.

Actually, priests will sin and have to confess just like any other person. They’re human too.

Yeah. Humans with super-human responsibilities. I mean seriously if a priest does anything that is even slightly unbecoming of one, the traditionalists swarm him faster than piranhas on a dumped carcass.

And please, don’t think a woman is a pretty little trinket that will be the answer to all your life problems. Sure, a woman can be a companion and may solve your problem with loneliness, but she may bring whole new challenges in your life. All healthy relationships require compromise. You need to be okay with who you are and become emotionally independent, and then the single ladies will look for you.

Trust me, I’d probably take on any problem in my life with more heart if I could just take loneliness out of it. That’s why I feel so desperate. I don’t believe a girl like that will solve all my problems… but she’ll certainly solve a really big one.

Heck I can already imagine what difficulty might come my way. Knowing myself I might end up being overprotective and obsessive (think Edward Cullen minus the vampire powers). Still, I’d rather take those on right now that deal with another moment of insecurity. sighs

According to other posts, you’re 21. Don’t see yourself at 21 as what you’ll be like for the rest of your life. It is likely you’ll change dramatically in the next few years.

Believe me, I seriously hope that happens.

 

[Matt_707]

My friend,

That is awesome you have been learning more about our faith. I really understand what you are going through.

I around your age and last year I would laugh at the idea of becoming a priest and really would be offended. I felt like my life was revolving around trying to find a girl friend. I would think of extremely religious people as somewhat comical or over-doing the whole thing. Then God found me.

Might I recommend going to some kind of Catholic retreat or conference? Such as a Steubenville, NCYC, etc. That is where Jesus really spoke to my heart. I went to a conference just to hang out with one of my friends that is a girl. I was never the same. YOU will never be the same. The Jesus I met was not the Jesus I had made up in my mind. It was a Being far greater than any girl, video game or hobby in the entire world. His love will absolutely blow your mind. Just ask the Holy Spirit to help you and pray to the Blessed Mother for intercession.

Out of nowhere around 6 months ago the Holy Spirit hit me and I realized I am being called to seminary. How blessed I am! Trust me, there are moments when I wonder why in the world God would take one so unworthy as I. But we have to remember, we’re all unworthy. It’s God that makes us worthy! Everyday I feel like I am the happiest person on earth.

I encourage you to really try to dive deeper into spiritually dwelling with Jesus. Start praying the and the Holy Spirit will take care of the rest. Whether you are being called to the priesthood, married life, or single life – God will take care of you as long as you let Him lead! You are in my prayers, brother.

PAX CHRISTI

 

[crazzeto]

Stuff like this happens to me every now and then. Whenever my parents go to a nearby church for some religious function (e.g. baptism, wedding, Holy Week etc). They would often joke that since I frequent a religious forum like this one and I’m reading apologetics, they tell me I oughta be a priest.

Now hopefully they were really kidding but I just felt rather insulted whenever they (or anyone else for that matter) does that. I don’t get angry but I still feel a tad bit offended.

Don’t get me wrong, I have every ounce of respect for the priesthood and I know this one guy that I support because he sees it as his vocation.

However, it’s that same respect that makes me feel insulted whenever somebody suggests I be one too. If there’s one thing I know more than anybody, it’s myself. And knowing myself so well along with the responsibility a priest carries, I know that I’ll probably be the biggest insult to the vocation. I’d probably make that guy Fr. Andrew Greeley look like a gentleman.

Furthermore, I am a really, really, lonely person. I’m one of those who are content with an intellectual relationship with God because I feel alienated by those celibate religious who have a spiritual and emotional relationship with Him. In short, it just doesn’t ring with me.

I can only go so far in life, relying on a bodiless voice in my head. I’m no saint. I’ve been a victim of bullying for nearly eight years in my past and it has just made me long for God to give me that special girl because my heart’s still cold from all those people putting me down every day back then. People who tell me that I be priest just add insult to injury.

You know, Pope John Paul II once called the Vatican a circus and the Pope a puppet…

 

[Tiborshok]

I actually feel afraid when I myself think of becoming a priest…

… that means NO MORE SEX!

Probably that could be the one that insults you when they tell you that… - You are gonna be deprived of sex…

But think about this… When you have sex with your wife/husband, you make the absolute expression of love to each other, you and you two alone…

But when you are married to the church… you make love to church every time you administer a sacrament…

What do you think has a greater purpose???

I think none… The answer is what God wants from you… Being insulted is a bad feeling… God does not want you to feel bad, therefore ask Him to help you clear your mind from this…

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

I actually feel afraid when I myself think of becoming a priest…

… that means NO MORE SEX!

There should be no sex if on is not married anyways.

We are all called to be chaste.

 

[Tiborshok]

There should be no sex if on is not married anyways.

We are all called to be chaste.

I know… what I meant was… You won’t be getting some when you get married.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

Might I recommend going to some kind of Catholic retreat or conference? Such as a Steubenville, NCYC, etc. That is where Jesus really spoke to my heart. I went to a conference just to hang out with one of my friends that is a girl. I was never the same. YOU will never be the same. The Jesus I met was not the Jesus I had made up in my mind. It was a Being far greater than any girl, video game or hobby in the entire world. His love will absolutely blow your mind. Just ask the Holy Spirit to help you and pray to the Blessed Mother for intercession.

I believe I have done similar things (at least once a year since my school requires it). Each time though, I’m only reminded of how my road is different from such spiritually tuned religious folks like you.

I’m not a spiritual person nor devout. I know my dark mind well enough to say I am not cut out for that kind of life. I see things and know things that would make any striving celibacy candidate squirm… and all without asking for such knowledge. I just… have a knack for seeing things differently from the purity crowd and something tells me there must be a good reason. However, so long as I possess such shadowy thoughts, the standards of spiritual cleanliness demanded by a religious vocations will never be met by people like me.

Out of nowhere around 6 months ago the Holy Spirit hit me and I realized I am being called to seminary. How blessed I am! Trust me, there are moments when I wonder why in the world God would take one so unworthy as I. But we have to remember, we’re all unworthy. It’s God that makes us worthy! Everyday I feel like I am the happiest person on earth.

Let me just ask something. It’s true that God makes the unworthy worthy but in your case just how opposite are you from the person you were before?

I always notice this pattern of change God invokes into someone he calls to a vocation. It’s almost always a total personality reversal. Take St. Ignatius of Loyola (I’m a student of the Jesuits you see), from a proud soldier to a humble servant of Christ.

Don’t get me wrong but I’m not fond of that idea. There are some things about me that I’m willing to give up (like the inner perv that everyone deals with -.-;; ) because those things are definitely sinful. However, my so-called “true personality” is still far from something you’d expect of a priest.

 

[monchoy26]

Hi lost wanderer

I felt that feeling too when i was i ask by my mother. It is natural to react negatively and i was thinking there is a reason why its happen. Do you think it is coincidence?? Or maybe we should think about it but in the same time nourish our faith to God. It is the most valuable thing here in secular world. It doesnt mean that your choosing to be on religious side but abiding with the greatness of our beloved creator as his creation. Simply returning it and surely we may find ourselves in the glory and presence of the Holy Spirit.

No more regrets in our life and the best applicable gospel i think is on Jobs. please let us read it and think about it as a gift and food in our everyday life…

God bless to all!!

 

[ohioszo]

I almost don’t want to add my thoughts. I just wanted to say to the poster that I have cousins, who have sons. These sons of theirs are brought to mind when I read the responses. Their is one son who is a Dentist, and, unmarried. His grandfather had thought that he might become a Priest. His grandfather is no longer living, and, so far, the grandson is not married. I’m not close enough to know why, but, I can understand why he is a good dentist, for he is easy to talk with, friendly, from a good family, etc. Now, another grandson, same family, is in college to be an aeronautical engineer. He is a Facebook friend, and, honestly, I am a little shocked at the disconnect from what I think about his family to the craziness which seems to be connected with HS friendships. It seems ungodly. I remember his Father saying that he had been worried about him, previously in HS. I remember him as a kid who was interested in planes and my dad’s WWII experiences. So, I think he has made it to the right career. I wish that you had people in your life, cousins, family especially who care enough to pray that you make the right choices with your vocation. As to marriage, please consider putting off your wishes for that until you are financially able to support a family. You need all of your energies for finishing school and finding a job. Your are in a different country … the Phillippines … I know how religiously you were brought up. Another cousin married someone from Manila. How religious she seemed to me, and her occupation was in the Casino, card dealer. In America, I think she learned how to quiet her deep Faith. We have that, and it is deep for all of us. I want my one cousin, to fight back, to realize how juvenile, how satanic maybe, but, … to grow up into a good Catholic, like his family … Knights of Columbus. Do you have the Knights there? You could join them, they’ll help. In fact, I think that the Daughters of Isabella thought they might find me a husband! These are the invitations you should be getting. I can understand why the comments give you pause, in an emotional way, because, obviously to us, you are trying to repent, you are in repentence mode, and other people, who do not know your dark side, see only that you are reverant, prayerful, kind. Others, who jeer, need for you to take a step in the right direction, so that they can too. You may be stronger than they, for you to see the Way. Celibacy becomes easier, after these initial peer pressure years, but, for some, it is just simply easy. If you have a strong urge to mate, maybe, you need to find some physical activity, or intellectual activity to occupy yourself until you are ready to take on the financial side of marriage, and raising children. Thank you for the interesting discussion!

 

[JReducation]

I’m not a priest, but am a religious; therefore, I’m celibate. I can say, from personal experience that the call to celibacy is not a call for those who are pure, but a call to pure love.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF