When should you NOT go to confession?

[ashleyxo]

hi, haven’t been here for a while…just wanted to ask a question…

if someone who doesn’t like God,maybe someone who resents him or holds a lot of anger, wants to go to confession because he just feels like he has to since he has a lot of mortal sins or some other reason besides feeling sorry for them…is it good for him to go?

I have a friend who says that he hates God-because he cannot accept some teachings-and he doesn’t really want to “patch” things up yet (he wants to but he always says that he is too angry), but then he wants to go to confession just because it has been a while and he just wants to take holy communion.

I don’t know if that’s a wise idea.

 

[Gertabelle]

I think you’re going to have to let your friend work out his own relationship with God, and you do the same.

Many, many years ago, I was sooooooo angry with God. And anyone who knew me was aware of that anger, and perhaps the pain that instigated it. But I had to work it out myself – me and God, sitting on the curb, working it out. No one else could enter there with me, truly. And after a time, a very long time, the anger passed.

Don’t try to micromanage your friend’s relationship with God, or his participation in the sacraments. It’s his business, and God’s.

Pray for him. Be the best friend you can be. Pray for him.

 

[Crusaderbear]

He needs to go to confession. The priest is like a marriage counsellor, he will get your friend on track for a good reconciliation. For some, it’s cool to ‘hate’ God, makes you more mainstream. It’s a dangerous game to play. The fact he respects confession shows his hate may not be so deep as he says. Maybe he just is trying to impress his friends…

But like others say, it’s his problem, you tried, your obligation is done.

 

[Lea101]

I would actually like to know too.

I am not really fond of God right now, and it seems wrong for me to go to confession. Like “hey God, I can’t stand you at all but I’m just doing this so I won’t go to hell”. But then it makes no sense for the confession to ‘count’ if I have such an attitude towards God.

Maybe your friend feels the same way. I know it’s pretty awkward to skip Communion, especially when you are with people you know. Throw in some anxiety and you have a nightmare!

 

[mgn2010]

We all have our different paths in coming to God. Many are losing their way due to self-appeasement or indifference to matters of the spiritual life, but nonetheless, we trek our own path by what we choose to listen to and follow.

The Catholic Faith teaches us that Jesus established with His words and actions (in a very raw form, later to be implemented more fully as time would progress by the Church) Sacraments by which we as individuals can rightfully and fully receive grace from God to help us grow in that spiritual life and allow a deeper connection to the one God of heaven and earth.

Our fallen nature is a deterrent to our growing closer to God, but is not the final end in keeping us away from Him. Our will, our intellect and our conscience are the key elements that allow that path to be followed in the right direction in accordance with what the Church has been granted to teach.

I had a co-worker who for years after the death of her son shared was angry at God for allowing him to die. I shared that our life traumas are something God is always aware of and He allowed something extraordinary to take place so that we down the centuries could never say, “God doesn’t understand!”. No, he understands completely with what occurred when He became man in the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity and allowed Himself to be taken to the cross and crucifixion. In Catholic churches (or at least for those that haven’t replaced it!), a crucifix is hung near or over the altar to remind us of the degree of love God has presented and gives us each day for those who are ready to receive it. We all know the old adage, “I am so in love with him/her, I’ll die for him/her!” That’s exactly the love God wanted the world to know He has for us all and this has always been and remains forever and ever.

Confession is always a good place to start when one has distanced themselves from the love of God and good priests are ready to make the path leading to God’s love available again for the sincere penitent and offer guidance to those who want to listen.

Years later I ran into this same co-worker in a supermarket who shared she was moved by the words I shared with her that day and has since become reconciled to her former disposition of anger toward God! God is a loving and patient God and we only have to step back sometimes and remember the love He has shown us and be at peace with ourselves so can be at peace with others!

 

[Pat_Payne]

I would actually like to know too.

I am not really fond of God right now, and it seems wrong for me to go to confession. Like “hey God, I can’t stand you at all but I’m just doing this so I won’t go to hell”. But then it makes no sense for the confession to ‘count’ if I have such an attitude towards God.

Look at it from this side though – the fact that you’re even debating going to confession is a sign that something is going on. If you truly felt you couldn’t stand God, why would you even be having an internal conflict about going to Confession – you just wouldn’t go and not give it a second thought, Even the idea that you’d do it just so you wouldn’t go to Hell shows some feelings for God – remember that Hell is eternal separation from God and Heaven is eternal union with Him. I don’t know what it is (and it’s not my business to know) that’s separated you from God so, but that you’re even thinking about reconciliation is a great grace from Him.

 

[pianistclare]

The whole point of confession is to reconcile with God.
One has to WANT to be reconciled.
If one has no remorse, it’s pointless.
But…if one goes truly contrite, then you will have the strength to avoid further sin, and are drawn closer to Him.

Go.
Tell your friend to GO. Humility is a beautiful thing. It’s not weak. It’s actually strengthening.

 

[DarkLight]

The whole point of confession is to reconcile with God.
One has to WANT to be reconciled.
If one has no remorse, it’s pointless.
But…if one goes truly contrite, then you will have the strength to avoid further sin, and are drawn closer to Him.

Go.
Tell your friend to GO. Humility is a beautiful thing. It’s not weak. It’s actually strengthening.

That said, “I’m doing this because I feel like it’s something I should do” is an ok step, just like it’s ok for a small child to refrain from doing something “because mommy said I shouldn’t and I don’t want to get in trouble.” Confession doesn’t require perfect contrition; it just requires some intent to not commit the sin anymore.

 

[Arizona_Fat_Gir]

I knew a man who had a few beers before going to confession, and the priest had a conniption. I guess one does what he has to do.

 

[friardchips]

I think you’re going to have to let your friend work out his own relationship with God, and you do the same.

Many, many years ago, I was sooooooo angry with God. And anyone who knew me was aware of that anger, and perhaps the pain that instigated it. But I had to work it out myself – me and God, sitting on the curb, working it out. No one else could enter there with me, truly. And after a time, a very long time, the anger passed.

Don’t try to micromanage your friend’s relationship with God, or his participation in the sacraments. It’s his business, and God’s.

Pray for him. Be the best friend you can be. Pray for him.

I think this answer is correct. It is between the person and God. God knows what is going on with this person and this person is wrestling with their personal relationship with God. It is not up to other people to judge. If the person chooses to go to Confession then that is between that person and God and if that person continues not to, then just as God takes us where we are, we are to do the same. Prayer is the best solution. If the person confides in you then you can listen and try and help but otherwise…pray.

 

[Catholic1954]

hi, haven’t been here for a while…just wanted to ask a question…

if someone who doesn’t like God,maybe someone who resents him or holds a lot of anger, wants to go to confession because he just feels like he has to since he has a lot of mortal sins or some other reason besides feeling sorry for them…is it good for him to go?

I have a friend who says that he hates God-because he cannot accept some teachings-and he doesn’t really want to “patch” things up yet (he wants to but he always says that he is too angry), but then he wants to go to confession just because it has been a while and he just wants to take holy communion.

I don’t know if that’s a wise idea.

If your friend feels called to go to confession, then he should go. It might be helpful if he calls and makes an appointment with a priest so they can chat, clear up some issues and take of reconciliation at the same time.

 

[crenfro]

Hello.

Probably not good to go to confession if you’re a scrupulous person and your spiritual advisor is helping with your frequency of confession. Otherwise, if you’re in mortal sin, even worse, have a lot of mortal sins, you’d probably want to run, not walk to confession.

And feelings aren’t good barometers concerning confession. A person’s conscience can be dead and they can feel quite okay, but that doesn’t mean that their immortal soul is okay.

There’s a book called Frequent Confession which might help clear up things for you. Just a suggestion.

hi, haven’t been here for a while…just wanted to ask a question…

if someone who doesn’t like God,maybe someone who resents him or holds a lot of anger, wants to go to confession because he just feels like he has to since he has a lot of mortal sins or some other reason besides feeling sorry for them…is it good for him to go?