When your confession is long

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AmyEliz

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Hello, I know this topic has been brought up before, but I’m bringing it up again.

I recently returned to the Church after over a decade away; my time away was filled with poor decisions and bad living, so I had a lot of sins to confess (I brought a list along so I wouldn’t forget any) when I returned to the sacrament of reconciliation. My long confession was heard at an event where confessions were being heard all day long, so I didn’t have to worry about the time.

Well it’s been a month since that confession, and I’ve remembered so many more mortal sins and possibly mortal sins that my confession will probably take a long time again, even if I’m really quick with my “new” sins. I’ve tried scheduling an appointment with one priest via e-mail (the parish secretary suggested this way) with no luck; soon I’ll try emailing another priest and after that, I guess I’ll start asking priests from other parishes. I’m trying to schedule an appointment because I don’t want to make confession impossible for any of the poor penitents stuck in line behind me during the one hour a week that our parish has confessions. I also don’t want to be moving to the back of the line every time another person gets in line, because there probably would be no time for my confession.

Then I think of how rude it is to be asking to take up a busy priest’s time. So no matter what I do, I’m being inconsiderate to somebody. Is it more rude to make a long confession when there’s a line? And what if I can’t find a priest who will see me by appointment? There doesn’t seem to be a right way to go about things, and now that I also possibly am in a state of mortal sin, I’m getting a little panicked. Any advice? What would you do?
 
AmyEliz said:
Hello, I know this topic has been brought up before, but I’m bringing it up again.

I recently returned to the Church after over a decade away; my time away was filled with poor decisions and bad living, so I had a lot of sins to confess (I brought a list along so I wouldn’t forget any) when I returned to the sacrament of reconciliation. My long confession was heard at an event where confessions were being heard all day long, so I didn’t have to worry about the time.

Well it’s been a month since that confession, and I’ve remembered so many more mortal sins and possibly mortal sins that my confession will probably take a long time again, even if I’m really quick with my “new” sins. I’ve tried scheduling an appointment with one priest via e-mail (the parish secretary suggested this way) with no luck; soon I’ll try emailing another priest and after that, I guess I’ll start asking priests from other parishes. I’m trying to schedule an appointment because I don’t want to make confession impossible for any of the poor penitents stuck in line behind me during the one hour a week that our parish has confessions. I also don’t want to be moving to the back of the line every time another person gets in line, because there probably would be no time for my confession.

Then I think of how rude it is to be asking to take up a busy priest’s time. So no matter what I do, I’m being inconsiderate to somebody. Is it more rude to make a long confession when there’s a line? And what if I can’t find a priest who will see me by appointment? There doesn’t seem to be a right way to go about things, and now that I also possibly am in a state of mortal sin, I’m getting a little panicked. Any advice? What would you do?
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Unless you deliberately withheld those mortal sins in your recent Confession, you need not confess them in your next Confession. They were forgiven in your first Confession. Just focus on your sins since that last Confession, and be at peace.

See the link for advice from Don Ruggero: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=1049628
 
Type of sin and number of times, as best you can remember. A list and nothing more is needed. “Three times this and twice that” is perfectly acceptable. If you desire spiritual direction, it is best to arrange for that outside of the confessional as that is not, strictly speaking, part of the Sacrament.

Remember those who come after you, as they may also be returning after many years away!
 
I have learned the hard way, NOT to trust church office staff, especially volunteers. Paid staff is not much better. I was given too much misinformation AND I have only ever had ONE priest ever respond to an email (I know his mom :D).

Just get in the confession line at the appointed time or make an appointment.
 
There are only a few things a priest can do that no one else can - say Mass, give last rites and hear confessions.

Yes, priests are busy but hearing confessions is one thing every priest really ought to be busy about, precisely because they are one of those few things.

As long as you let him know in advance that it might be longish, there is no need to feel bad.
 
I returned after thirty years, told this to my confessor, started with absences, he said fine, absolved me, then pointed out even sins I forgot were absolved. He made a point of that. Other than not going to massa , I really had very little to confess! yep, I’m boring!
 
AmyEliz said:
Hello, I know this topic has been brought up before, but I’m bringing it up again.

I recently returned to the Church after over a decade away; my time away was filled with poor decisions and bad living, so I had a lot of sins to confess (I brought a list along so I wouldn’t forget any) when I returned to the sacrament of reconciliation. My long confession was heard at an event where confessions were being heard all day long, so I didn’t have to worry about the time.

Well it’s been a month since that confession, and I’ve remembered so many more mortal sins and possibly mortal sins that my confession will probably take a long time again, even if I’m really quick with my “new” sins. I’ve tried scheduling an appointment with one priest via e-mail (the parish secretary suggested this way) with no luck; soon I’ll try emailing another priest and after that, I guess I’ll start asking priests from other parishes. I’m trying to schedule an appointment because I don’t want to make confession impossible for any of the poor penitents stuck in line behind me during the one hour a week that our parish has confessions. I also don’t want to be moving to the back of the line every time another person gets in line, because there probably would be no time for my confession.

Then I think of how rude it is to be asking to take up a busy priest’s time. So no matter what I do, I’m being inconsiderate to somebody. Is it more rude to make a long confession when there’s a line? And what if I can’t find a priest who will see me by appointment? There doesn’t seem to be a right way to go about things, and now that I also possibly am in a state of mortal sin, I’m getting a little panicked. Any advice? What would you do?
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Ask a priest to meet with you privately after hours,
For a confession time outside the confession box, it could be a visit to the parochial house, or the priest could visit your house.

Most priests allow for confession by arrangement.
 
Crusaderbear said:
I returned after thirty years, told this to my confessor, started with absences, he said fine, absolved me, then pointed out even sins I forgot were absolved. He made a point of that. Other than not going to massa , I really had very little to confess! yep, I’m boring!
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The Catechism says, yes every sin is forgiven in confession, but all mortal sins must.be confessed by name, (and to deliberately not tell a mortal sin, is a mortal sin), some priests forget or do not know that the Catechism.says that every mortal sin must be confessed in words.

If someone remembers mortal sins not yet confessed, these sins must be confessed at the next confession, according to the Catechism
 
Glennon_P said:
Unless you deliberately withheld those mortal sins in your recent Confession, you need not confess them in your next Confession.
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:eek: This is incorrect!

It is absolutely required to confess mortal sins which you have forgotten, as soon as you have remembered them. You correctly state that those sins were forgiven (thus one may receive Holy Communion) but one is still duty-bound to confess them.
 
I returned to the church after about 30 years away, and I had the same experience. I did what I thought was a really good examination of conscience, and then at some point after confession, I would remember something else. It was no attempt on my part to try to conceal anything, but after so many years, somethings just didn’t immediately come to mind. I confessed them in my next confession.
 
dshix said:
:eek: This is incorrect!

It is absolutely required to confess mortal sins which you have forgotten, as soon as you have remembered them. You correctly state that those sins were forgiven (thus one may receive Holy Communion) but one is still duty-bound to confess them.
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Upon Further Review…you are correct and I was incorrect. I appreciate you bringing that up. To the OP: please disregard that part where I said you didn’t need to confess those mortal sins that you hadn’t confessed before.
 
You really need to speak to your Priest. Go to regularly offered Confession. State when you go in that you have returned to the Church, and have a list of Sins to Confess. Let your confessor guide you in the best way to acheive absolution.

I keep saying, we, mere mortals, laity, really have not the qualifications to declare our sins venial or mortal. Thats the Priest’s job.
So talk to him.
And With respect we don’t know if we are forcing a Case for scruples in you.

I returned after a lifetime of ignoring God , and being the best sinner I could. I go to Confession regularily. That’s because my Priests tell everyone it’s such a wonderful Sacrament, just like the Eucharist. Yes I still sin. I have no idea of the class or type of sin, but hey, God forgives each time. I am sure I will still be remembering stuff on my deathbed, but my Priests tell me it is all absolved. Concentrate on new life in God.

If you remember something, even though now absolved, the Divine Mercy Day Priest said people can feel at peace if they want to mention it.

And yes, take the advice of Don Ruggero, or one of the Priests here.
 
As for the one hour block, I’m guessing it’s listed as “Confessions will be heard from x o’clock to y o’clock or until all are heard.” So if you aren’t able to have an appointment and therefore go at the regular time, you’ll be able to be heard.

And also let the priest know if you’re remembering a lot of sins. He’ll be able to advise on the best course of action going forward.
 
You really need to speak to your Priest. Go to regularly offered Confession. State when you go in that you have returned to the Church, and have a list of Sins to Confess. Let your confessor guide you in the best way to acheive absolution.
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I keep saying, we, mere mortals, laity, really have not the qualifications to declare our sins venial or mortal. Thats the Priest’s job.
So talk to him.
And With respect we don’t know if we are forcing a Case for scruples in you.
Click to expand...
I returned after a lifetime of ignoring God , and being the best sinner I could. I go to Confession regularily. That’s because my Priests tell everyone it’s such a wonderful Sacrament, just like the Eucharist. Yes I still sin. I have no idea of the class or type of sin, but hey, God forgives each time. I am sure I will still be remembering stuff on my deathbed, but my Priests tell me it is all absolved. Concentrate on new life in God.
Click to expand...
If you remember something, even though now absolved, the Divine Mercy Day Priest said people can feel at peace if they want to mention it.
Click to expand...
And yes, take the advice of Don Ruggero, or one of the Priests here.
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Excellent advice.
 
You have a right to make a reasonable request of Father to hear your confession outside of the parish’s regular confession hours. Is it rude to do so? Of course not. Priests have a duty and an obligation to look after your soul, just as you have a duty and an obligation to be reasonable. There is a world of difference between scheduling an appointment for a legitimate need vs. doing so because you stubbed your toe and said a swear word and now insist on confession this very minute.

On the other hand, I do find it rude that a person might know he will require more time in confession, but yet insists on drastically delaying another person’s opportunity for absolution. Sometimes, extra time is necessary and it just happens that things take longer than one expects. This is a natural development between the Confessor and Penitent, and those waiting should bear this in mind if they notice things taking a while. But to deliberately go in for a type of confession that will take some time to work itself out is another beast altogether.

We need to be considerate for others and have good manners. In this situation, we need to balance our behavior by being reasonable to Father, and by not taking up other people’s time more than is necessary.
 
Roseeurekacross said:
I keep saying, we, mere mortals, laity, really have not the qualifications to declare our sins venial or mortal.
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We have a duty to form our conscience in accord with the teaching of the Church and, yes, this involves learning to discern between venial and mortal sins.

We can know this because we are required to confess mortal sins that are certain, while doubtful mortal sins need not be confessed (for normal or scrupulous consciences). If we were not asked to judge ourselves and whether we meet each of the three criteria for mortal sin, including whether our behavior constitutes grave matter, then this requirement would not be possible. Rather, we would be confessing anything and everything that seemed remotely sinful.

Moreover, Confessors sometimes manifestly err in declaring obvious grave matter as not being grave matter at all. Some even make the requirements for mortal sin so outrageously difficult to actually attain that they say almost no one really mortally sins to begin with. But if we refused to discern this advice as being incompatible with Church teaching, we would certainly be putting ourselves at a disadvantage.
 
Thank you for your replies, everyone.
I heard back from the second priest I emailed, and he sent me a link to a chapel not so close with confessions every day (but only for very short blocks of time, which makes me nervous), so… I’ll probably just have to be rude to other penitents no matter what, no matter where I go, as I’m thinking that priests around here just have no time for appointments. I’m praying that the people after me in line won’t get too angry with me.
 
AmyEliz said:
Thank you for your replies, everyone.
I heard back from the second priest I emailed, and he sent me a link to a chapel not so close with confessions every day (but only for very short blocks of time, which makes me nervous), so… I’ll probably just have to be rude to other penitents no matter what, no matter where I go, as I’m thinking that priests around here just have no time for appointments. I’m praying that the people after me in line won’t get too angry with me.
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Please don’t think you’re being rude if your confession takes longer than average. If that is what you need at this time, then that is what you need. Sometimes longer confessions are necessary and those in line just need to understand that. Some won’t be understanding and they’ll come on Catholic Answers Forums and other places and complain about people who spend too long in the confessional. They’ll angrily state or “helpfully inform” that confession is not the place for spiritual direction or people who have this or that circumstance should make an appointment. Don’t worry about that. They don’t know your circumstances. You do. You are not being rude in seeking a sacrament. People who get angry about the time somebody else spends in the confessional and dare to assume that they know anything about the situation? They’re being rude.

My personal experience with places that have confessions every day is that they take the sacrament seriously and will, if possible, stay until the last confession is heard, in spite of their scheduled and published times. Sometimes this isn’t possible. The priest might have to say Mass or have a very tight schedule himself, but I’ve very often seen it happen that confessions go as long as needed. Also, if you still want to make an appointment, this chapel might be a good place to contact for that.
 
I have witnessed rude and impatient behaviour two or three times over the past six months or so. On the last occasion there was a man practically pacing the aisle with frustration because of the length of time being taken by the person who was in the confessional. What compounded this (to my mind) egregious lack of charity was that the Blessed Sacrament was being exposed on the altar and he had his back turned towards it, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was in the presence of his Saviour!
The look of sheer joy on the face of the gentleman who finally emerged from the confessional had to be seen to be believed!
 
dividus said:
I have witnessed rude and impatient behaviour two or three times over the past six months or so. On the last occasion there was a man practically pacing the aisle with frustration because of the length of time being taken by the person who was in the confessional. What compounded this (to my mind) egregious lack of charity was that the Blessed Sacrament was being exposed on the altar and he had his back turned towards it, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was in the presence of his Saviour!
The look of sheer joy on the face of the gentleman who finally emerged from the confessional had to be seen to be believed!/QUOTE]

Makes you think there was a godly priest in the confessional with him. I wonder who the pacing impatient man was with.
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