When your wife is arrested?

[2Rollin_Stoned]

Pondero:

There are some crazy laws in Florida.

And he can talk with detachment about the fact that she’ll do 85% of her 5 year sentence (4 years and 2 months with good behavior) in Florida’s Dept of “Corrections” Making The Walls Transparent . Talk about abuse! You probably just sent your wife off to be raped and abused for all of her time.

Way to go there Florida’s finest! :yup: :yup:

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

2Rollin'Stoned:

And he can talk with detachment about the fact that she’ll do 85% of her 5 year sentence (4 years and 2 months with good behavior) in Florida’s Dept of “Corrections” Making The Walls Transparent . Talk about abuse! You probably just sent your wife off to be raped and abused for all of her time.

Way to go there Florida’s finest! :yup: :yup:

Hmm, maybe she should’ve thought of this before trying to kill him.

But I guess as long as its a woman its ok to swing deadly weapons at the heads of their husbands, after all, he probably deserved it, at least that is the sense I am getting from many who are crying out against this man.

 

[The_Angelus]

ByzCath:

Hmm, maybe she should’ve thought of this before trying to kill him.

But I guess as long as its a woman its ok to swing deadly weapons at the heads of their husbands, after all, he probably deserved it, at least that is the sense I am getting from many who are crying out against this man.

I don’t think either was thinking too well at the time. I also doubt she was trying to kill him. Could a woman with a frying pan run faster than a man who’s just been beaned with said implement? Yes, I think she could.

Nobody has said it was right to swing the pan or that he had it coming - with the exception of a couple vague comments. It was not right. Nor was it right to insist on prison. I can see bringing charges against her just to scare her, but actually sending her to jail for at least 4 years?

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

The_Angelus:

I don’t think either was thinking too well at the time. I also doubt she was trying to kill him.

What is the intended goal of swing a weapon at the head of someone? If not to kill them then to seriously injure them.

Could a woman with a frying pan run faster than a man who’s just been beaned with said implement? Yes, I think she could.

Nobody has said it was right to swing the pan or that he had it coming - with the exception of a couple vague comments.

And this comment is another one of those “vague” type comments that imply that he did something to cause his wife to try and kill him (or just seriously injure him) in self-defence.

It was not right. Nor was it right to insist on prison. I can see bringing charges against her just to scare her, but actually sending her to jail for at least 4 years?

As the poster stated, it is the Law in Florida that domestic violence requires jail time for spousal assault. Also most States automatically file a charge in domestic violence cases regardless of the wishes of the victim. So it was not his choice to assign jail time for this. It was the Law as applied by the State that required this.

 

[DJMarshall85]

BioCatholic:

what made her so angry is that i attacked her for sitting in church praying for the war and terrorism to stop, while my brother is fighting in iraq doing the real work. my brother is no saint, so she feels he is “godless”. she attacked him, so i went right back after her and attacked her way of “helping the world”, just like she attacked my brothers way of serving.

Ok, first I am a little suspect of the whole thing. If it were my wife, I would’ve seperated, and got her help, instead of sending her to prison for a few years, where who knows what will happen to her, but that is me, and not you. I definately think you need to talk this over with someone (priest, Catholic therapist, etc.) in order to work all of this out.

But in this thread, the statement that really offended me, and it should offend you (and any other Catholic for that matter), is the above statement. Second, I think you were both wrong. Her for attacking your brother, and you for attacking her worship life.

You insinuate that prayer is not “real work” or does not “help the world.” But in actuality, prayer is what keeps us going. It is our connection to God! The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is in fact the most Glorious prayer! In my own life, and in others, prayer has done wonderous things. Even on a world wide scale, prayer has lead to some amazing events. All one would have to do is reasearch the history of the rosary…

Ok, I’m done venting now… But please, take a second look at the effectiveness of prayer, and please do not be so quick to dismiss it in regards to other methods. I do have the utmost respect for our soldiers, and I also think that prayer is the best thing to back-up what they are doing. Prayer is by no means ineffective. It is the “fuel” so to speak that keeps us going…

Pax,
Dean

 

[The_Angelus]

ByzCath:

What is the intended goal of swing a weapon at the head of someone? If not to kill them then to seriously injure them. .

There is a difference. If you are just mad and swinging in rage, it’s entirely different from trying to kill someone. It’s like throwing your favorite china dish into a wall because you can’t get teh spot off it - you’re sorry for it afterwards.

ByzCath:

And this comment is another one of those “vague” type comments that imply that he did something to cause his wife to try and kill him (or just seriously injure him) in self-defence. .

Byz, I said nothing about self defense. I’m trying to keep this from turning into a free-for-all flamewar. A little help, please? Blessed are the peacemakers…

ByzCath:

As the poster stated, it is the Law in Florida that domestic violence requires jail time for spousal assault. Also most States automatically file a charge in domestic violence cases regardless of the wishes of the victim. So it was not his choice to assign jail time for this. It was the Law as applied by the State that required this.

He c ould have dropped the charges after she’d had a decent time to think it over!

 

[wcknight]

This is an absolutely horrible situation that has gotten way out of hand on both side. When we first got married (within the first year or two), we had some awful arguments. None of them escalated to physical violence luckily. Although it was very frustrating and quite heated at times.

I could not imagine getting beaned over the head with a frying pan. You would have to get hit awfully hard for it to draw blood. Was there drinking involved, was she intoxicated ? Not that this would excuse her actions.

Sending a spouse to jail would probably end the marriage, I couldn’t imagine sending my wife to jail, BUT I also can not imagine my wife actually swinging a frying pan hard enough to hit and draw blood. I pray this story is made up, as I can see no solution on either side.

I don’t know enough about the situation to make any sort of judgement, but I 'm just glad I do not have to sit in as a judge or jury in such a case. What a horror show, on both sides… I have no advice that I can think of, only the Lord can resolve such a thing. How can anyone forgive either side ?

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

The_Angelus:

There is a difference. If you are just mad and swinging in rage, it’s entirely different from trying to kill someone. It’s like throwing your favorite china dish into a wall because you can’t get teh spot off it - you’re sorry for it afterwards.

Only the wall does not get injured in that case. Assault is assault regardless of intent. There was an intent to injure or no attack would have happened.

He c ould have dropped the charges after she’d had a decent time to think it over!

I am not sure about Flordia Law but in New York he could not have dropped the charges. Again, becuase domestic violence is such a bad thing, many States have enacted Laws where the perpetrator of such a crime is automatically charged and the victim does not have to press charges and can not drop the charges later.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

Just 2 things to say to this topic:

**1. What a stupid, gosh-awfull, completely avoidable mess!:bigyikes: **

**2. I’m mighty happy to not live in Florida and I hope whatever bug is apparently eating away at the brains of them there, doesn’t travel here!:whacky: **

 

[pnewton]

Rob's Wife:

**2. I’m mighty happy to not live in Florida and I hope whatever bug is apparently eating away at the brains of them there, doesn’t travel here!:whacky: **

You can’t spell Florida with the “duh”.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Just 2 things to say to this topic:

**1. What a stupid, gosh-awfull, completely avoidable mess!:bigyikes: **

**2. I’m mighty happy to not live in Florida and I hope whatever bug is apparently eating away at the brains of them there, doesn’t travel here!:whacky: **

I do not understand this attitude.

What is wrong with the Domestic Violence Laws in Flordia?

Can you articulate what you do not like about them?

Laws such as these are to protect the victims as in many cases the victims of domestic violence are so beaten down and the perpetrator so practiced at apologizing and say that it won’t happen again only to do it again sometimes to the point of killing their spouse that these type of Laws have been enacted. That is mandatory jail time and the automatic placing of charges that can not be dropped by the victim.

We do not know the whole story here, as has been pointed out. Most seem to side with the perpetrator in this case but men are abused in marriages also. We do not know the extent or if there has been an escalation here.

I have a funny feeling that if this was a woman and her husband had done the abuse and was going to serve jail time that there would be nothing but supportive comments here.

Some people have a hard time believing that men can be abused by their wives.

 

[JCPhoenix]

Speaking as an ex-police officer…what you described is a MAJOR conflict of interest and I can’t believe it went as far as you described.

Containing your wife to prevent further harm to yourself her herself…yes, I can see that. Leaving the scene to go to a neighbor’s home to call the police…those NOT married to your wife…I can see that.

This has BS flags all over it, in my opinion. Did you get this story from “Urban Legends” website?

As far as being a VOLUNTEER Police Officer…what state? I used to be a Police Reserve Officer, a volunteer, and I arrested people, too…as a citizen’s arrest both on and off duty.

I’m interested in researching the requirements of your state to see if it hold up to the BS test. I somehow doubt that it will.

Do you live in hicksville? Then maybe I can see the ancient redneck laws applying, allowing you as the man, whether in uniform or out of it to complete what you described.

I just don’t see that kind of think ever holding up in MN.

And no, your church should not suport you if in fact this happened. If your wife went so far as to bash you with a frying pan, I want to know the reason before passing judgment, first of all. Secondly, did you hit her? Thirdly, if you have a relationship of this type then you should have, as good Catholics, gone to see your priest and sought other marital counseling long before this. Fourth, you are her husband FIRST, and therefore the vow you made before GOD to be loyal to your WIFE takes precedence over what is rendered to Caesar.

If what you are saying is true, you are in need of a serious spiritual adjustment and you need to get your priorities in line PRONTO.

Abuse is abuse, yes, but it takes 2 and from what I learned when I was on the street and from the people I know, neither party is completely innocent…whether they wear a badge or patch people up or not.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Yes I could be bs, but I am giving the benefit of the doubt.

I was with you up until this.

JCPhoenix:

If your wife went so far as to bash you with a frying pan, I want to know the reason before passing judgment, first of all.

Violence is never justified.

Maybe if he did hit her first, but there would be marks and/or she would have said that he did.

 

[pnewton]

JCPhoenix:

This has BS flags all over it, in my opinion. Did you get this story from “Urban Legends” website?

As far as being a VOLUNTEER Police Officer…what state? I used to be a Police Reserve Officer, a volunteer, and I arrested people, too…as a citizen’s arrest both on and off duty.

I’m interested in researching the requirements of your state to see if it hold up to the BS test. I somehow doubt that it will.

Good idea.

From: womenslaw.org/FL/FL_statutes.htm#741.283

741.283 Minimum term of imprisonment for domestic violence.–If a person is adjudicated guilty of a crime of domestic violence, as defined in s. 741.28, and the person has intentionally caused bodily harm to another person, the court shall order the person to serve a minimum of 5 days in the county jail as part of the sentence imposed, unless the court sentences the person to a nonsuspended period of incarceration in a state correctional facility. This section does not preclude the court from sentencing the person to probation, community control, or an additional period of incarceration

I will keep looking.

PS - As far as Texas, none of it would fly either.

 

[otm]

20 years ago, my (ex) husband, the cop, was emotionally abusing me beyond my emotional capacity to bear. Girls calling the house in the middle of the night, notes in his pockets when I did the laundry, negative remarks about my abilities as a wife and a woman. He no longer wanted to be married, said he.
One night, as a woman was leaving the apt., as I was on my way in, I snapped and punched him. He threw me down the cement flight of stairs to the 2nd flr. apt.
Screamed he was having me arrested for punching him.
I fled the state and him forever.
He seemed to think a badge and a gun not only made him an attractive “catch” but that his cop status placed him and his “job” above our marriage.
There are ALWAYS 2 sides to a story.
Anyone who thinks their “job” trumps their marriage should not be married.

And anyone who hits their spouse with a frying pan should not be married.

 

[otm]

2Rollin'Stoned:

And he can talk with detachment about the fact that she’ll do 85% of her 5 year sentence (4 years and 2 months with good behavior) in Florida’s Dept of “Corrections” Making The Walls Transparent . Talk about abuse! You probably just sent your wife off to be raped and abused for all of her time.

Way to go there Florida’s finest! :yup: :yup:

I kind of doubt she will be raped, unless you are implying that another woman might rape her.

There is an old phrase in criminal law: “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.” What she did comes under the heading of attempted murder. Don’t believe it? Ask another attorney.

 

[JCPhoenix]

ByzCath:

Yes I could be bs, but I am giving the benefit of the doubt.

I was with you up until this.

Violence is never justified.

Maybe if he did hit her first, but there would be marks and/or she would have said that he did.

You’re right and I’m sorry I wasn’t more clear. The point I was trying to make is right or wrong, something preceeded the frying pan incident. What was it? I want the whole story, not just the half-baked-poor-me-do-I-look-like-a-wife-beater story.

I actually arrested a guy who sounded a lot like the OP somehow. As he tried to endear himselves to us on our nightly break in a restaurant (no donuts, actually coffee and real food for “lunch” at 2 am), we got the call from a cop on scene at the home our visitor had come from…and asking for his arrest.

This story has the same taint.

I would LOVE to hear the other side of the story, or even better…words from witnesses to the actual event, if there was one.

But the conflict of interest stands. There was an investigator in my department whose son committed some kind of violent assault. By the OP’s standards, he should have arrested and worked hard to prosecute his own son. Instead, he followed the actual letter of the law and morality and let the justice system step in and take over. The kid was prosecuted, but not by his own father, leaving the father there to continue not as an investigator or opponent, but his flesh and blood.

For him to have been involved would have gotten the entire case thrown out of court due to conflict of interest which undermines the integrity of the investigation and determination of actual guilt.

But you’re right and I apologize again for not being more clear. Abuse is NEVER justified.

 

[pnewton]

ByzCath:

Laws such as these are to protect the victims as in** many** cases the victims of domestic violence are so beaten down and the perpetrator so practiced at apologizing and say that it won’t happen again only to do it again sometimes to the point of killing their spouse that these type of Laws have been enacted. That is mandatory jail time and the automatic placing of charges that can not be dropped by the victim.
.

It is the "many"and the “sometimes” part that I do not like about mandatory sentencing for any first time offender. The case discribed here is a case in point. There is no “beaten down” victim. We have a first time offender and a single incident. Prison would be absurd overkill and accomplish more harm than the original incident. Sure, there needs to be an opportunity for harsher sentencing when neccessary, but not in all cases. Allow the jury the leeway to determine what sentence is appropriate.

 

[otm]

The_Angelus:

I also doubt she was trying to kill him. Could a woman with a frying pan run faster than a man who’s just been beaned with said implement? Yes, I think she could.

Nobody has said it was right to swing the pan or that he had it coming - with the exception of a couple vague comments. It was not right. Nor was it right to insist on prison. I can see bringing charges against her just to scare her, but actually sending her to jail for at least 4 years?

All she had to do was rotate that pan 90 degrees, and she would have hit him with the edge of the pan. We wouldn’t be reading his post; it would be his obituary.

You doubt she was trying to kill him?

You would be surprised how many killers say the same thing.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

pnewton:

It is the "many"and the “sometimes” part that I do not like about mandatory sentencing for any first time offender. The case discribed here is a case in point. There is no “beaten down” victim. We have a first time offender and a single incident. Prison would be absurd overkill and accomplish more harm than the original incident. Sure, there needs to be an opportunity for harsher sentencing when neccessary, but not in all cases. Allow the jury the leeway to determine what sentence is appropriate.

I can agree with this, it is a very sensable argument. I dislike many mandatory sentenceing requirements but it is the liberal judges that have caused that.

But for first time offenses I do think madatory jail time is a bit much.

I do not think that juries give sentences except for the more serious crimes. That being said, in this case, if it is real, his wife took a plea so there was no trial. Many pleas also lay out the punishment before hand and the judge just signs off on it.