Your mother is worried that if you date young that, due to hormones and all the rest, that it could get out of hand. You could end up a father before you’re ready, one thing.
I remember when I was quite young, wanting to date, and going with my mother to pick out a card for him for Valentine’s Day. I picked out a romantic one, and my mother told me to put that back and pick out one that said, “friends”. lol
I’m not sure about the age, either, but she was trying to delay that stage as long as possible, because I was very young, and it was WAY too soon to be thinking about dating, which can lead to marriage. I wasn’t ready for marriage.
At the time, I admit I was really disappointed that she wouldn’t let me date young when other parents were allowing their kids to do that.
We had a girl in one of my classes who was pregnant by age 12 y.o.!
Even when we are legally old enough to date, we generally don’t have the maturity for a serious relationship, in most cases, but will date, anyway.
At your age, especially, and as a male, your hormones are about at their maximum. If you were alone with a girl right now, what could we expect? In olden times, they were wiser, didn’t have everything coed where people were so exposed to temptations.
When someone was of age to date…not sure what age that would have been…probably 18 y.o., but not sure, they’d put the couple with a chaperone who would make sure things didn’t go too far. Well, they knew that, when one is young, their judgement is impaired by hormones, so they didn’t expect teens to be able to handle it all by themselves.
Now, teens are expected to be able to be in coed environments, date when they don’t have chaperones, and have the media and everyone else saying that premarital sex is okay. Schools hand out condoms and more or less tell people to “go ahead”.
This will be hard, because I know you want to be with a girl right now. It’s only natural and normal. My parents also got married, I think, quite young, but equally, those were different times. In those times, some people got married at age 17 or 18, but now, it’s different. Men need to pretty much get an education, first, before he can support a wife and family, so everything has been greatly delayed, sorry to say.
A lot of men wait till their twenties or thirties to marry to get a good education, mature a bit, first, because when we’re young, part of our brain (cerebral cortex) which controls judgement still is NOT developed. It’s not our fault, just is the way it is.
This is the same part of the brain that is affected by alcohol, right away, and partly why alcoholics behave so crazy.
Think it was Aristotle that said he had noticed that the youth behaved like they were in a constant state that resembled drunkeness, and with what we know about brain chemistry, he was right!
When I was your age, and even older, I did some pretty crazy things when I was in love that I would never dream of doing now.
In some folks, the cerebral cortex isn’t completely developed till age 35 y.o.!
The last thing you will want to do, due to the hormones, will be to just be friends, but that’s what I believe you need to do. I’m sorry it’s so hard for ya’ all. I feel for you. You want love in the worst way and will need to wait, what will seem to you to be an eternity!
There will be time, though, so don’t be in a hurry. I know you can think time will run out for you, but I doubt it. Men now, are in short supply, and they are in demand. I don’t believe you will have any trouble finding someone, just all in due time.
Good luck!
