Where are all the devout young women at?

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Philly88

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So I go to a small college that is very liberal and has a student body that generally isn’t too interested in religion. Even though 1/3 of the student body is Catholic, only a small amount show up to weekly mass and only a handful of those people say the prayers/new translation and sing. There is a Catholic Ministry (Newman Center) on Campus but there is only 20 active people in it, me being one of only two freshman that are active in it and one of only three guys in the whole group. Although it’s nice to have a small group go to the Newman Center, the majority of the people really aren’t devout and are fine with just mass and Newman fellowship dinners. No one aside from me and two girls ever go to the confession offered after Mass, we haven’t gone on a retreat yet and I’m the only one who is pushing for more retreats, and no one even openly talks about their faith or what Christ is in their life when we have fellowship dinners at Newman, we’ll say grace and then people pretend like he doesn’t exist. I can’t be more involved in Newman, I’m already on the E-board and another leadership position, and I’m also super involved in a non-denominational Christian group on Campus that is like a youth group. The non-denom. is way more fun and although they’re pretty much all Protestant they do love Christ and have a fire for him in their hearts. Even through being involved in both organizations, I’ve yet to meet a devout girl who loves Christ AND is compatible with me. I’m not involved only to meet a girl, I do it to serve Christ, and I trust in God’s plan whatever that is. The lack of devout Christian girls is hard, I just thought that it would be easier for a devout guy to find a girl but it seems impossible. I don’t want to only limit myself to a devout Catholic girl who is an active Catholic, because if I did then I would die alone because I have met only 2 at my school. It’s disheartening and I just would like to see if there are actually young women out there who are deeply devout and love Christ. Maybe some ideas to meet other girls…
 
I wish I could say something useful, but I can’t. I’m at a tiny Lib Arts Catholic school. I have a girlfriend, but she’s not actively Catholic. I had no luck with people who hung around the school Campus Min, as they tended to date exclusively within a small clique.

There’s definitely some sort of issue with expectations, I tried the whole “hang around Catholic people” deal but actively Catholic people had obscenely high expectations. 😛
 
Philly88 said:
So I go to a small college that is very liberal and has a student body that generally isn’t too interested in religion. Even though 1/3 of the student body is Catholic, only a small amount show up to weekly mass and only a handful of those people say the prayers/new translation and sing. There is a Catholic Ministry (Newman Center) on Campus but there is only 20 active people in it, me being one of only two freshman that are active in it and one of only three guys in the whole group. Although it’s nice to have a small group go to the Newman Center, the majority of the people really aren’t devout and are fine with just mass and Newman fellowship dinners. No one aside from me and two girls ever go to the confession offered after Mass, we haven’t gone on a retreat yet and I’m the only one who is pushing for more retreats, and no one even openly talks about their faith or what Christ is in their life when we have fellowship dinners at Newman, we’ll say grace and then people pretend like he doesn’t exist.

**I think that’s just a standard feature of Catholic devotional style–your normal Catholic does not think that it is seemly to go on and on about his or her spiritual life.

I suspect you’d get better results with a reading group, a Bible study, or something like that where there’s a specific text to talk about.
**

I can’t be more involved in Newman, I’m already on the E-board and another leadership position, and I’m also super involved in a non-denominational Christian group on Campus that is like a youth group. The non-denom. is way more fun and although they’re pretty much all Protestant they do love Christ and have a fire for him in their hearts. Even through being involved in both organizations, I’ve yet to meet a devout girl who loves Christ AND is compatible with me. I’m not involved only to meet a girl, I do it to serve Christ, and I trust in God’s plan whatever that is. The lack of devout Christian girls is hard, I just thought that it would be easier for a devout guy to find a girl but it seems impossible. I don’t want to only limit myself to a devout Catholic girl who is an active Catholic, because if I did then I would die alone because I have met only 2 at my school. It’s disheartening and I just would like to see if there are actually young women out there who are deeply devout and love Christ. Maybe some ideas to meet other girls…
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Maybe just accept that college for you is probably not going to be the place where you’re going to meet the future Mrs. Philly88?

The college scene can be pretty wretched for dating, and you’re not the only person to feel that way.

However, on the bright side, I personally think that undergraduate life is problematic as a setting for finding a spouse, as it’s so unlike anything you’re going to experience in your later life (including graduate or professional school). It’s a very artificial environment, and it would be all to easy to become very serious about someone without discovering that they have no domestic skills (and no intention to acquire any), no money management skills, and an inability to get up before 10 AM. There’s a lot of merit in being able to spend time with a serious girlfriend or boyfriend in “real life” conditions–a 40+ hour work schedule, an apartment to take care of, meals to fix, bills to pay, etc.
 
a rambling word block like you posted is hard to deal with

TLDNR

go to catholic dating websites if you can’t find a suitable female on your own
 
Don’t rush it mate! Enjoy the time you have now. To be a freshmen in college again. I have to laugh when I hear people say “I wouldn’t change a thing” or “I have no regrets.” I have a few gigabytes of regrets, but being Catholic is not one of them.

You’ll meet someone, no doubt. Until them, enjoy being young, and take comfort in knowing that the route you have chosen will be filled with joy. Trust me, the weight of sin when you start accumulating it, has little joy.

Keep doing what you are doing!👍
 
Try off campus events, is there a young adult ministry in the town or city you are located? Another option is to transfer to a college that clearly has a mission of devout and active Catholicism and there are a number around the states with a range of prices and financial aid.

I am one who did meet my husband at college - it was a lukewarm Catholic school but we have been happily married for over 18 years.
 
If you Google “The Newman Guide” it gives a list of recommended colleges in line with the Magisterium.
 
I can’t help but think of this whenever I read the thread title :rotfl:

 
Philly88 said:
So I go to a small college that is very liberal and has a student body that generally isn’t too interested in religion. Even though 1/3 of the student body is Catholic, only a small amount show up to weekly mass and only a handful of those people say the prayers/new translation and sing. There is a Catholic Ministry (Newman Center) on Campus but there is only 20 active people in it, me being one of only two freshman that are active in it and one of only three guys in the whole group. Although it’s nice to have a small group go to the Newman Center, the majority of the people really aren’t devout and are fine with just mass and Newman fellowship dinners. No one aside from me and two girls ever go to the confession offered after Mass, we haven’t gone on a retreat yet and I’m the only one who is pushing for more retreats, and no one even openly talks about their faith or what Christ is in their life when we have fellowship dinners at Newman, we’ll say grace and then people pretend like he doesn’t exist. I can’t be more involved in Newman, I’m already on the E-board and another leadership position, and I’m also super involved in a non-denominational Christian group on Campus that is like a youth group. The non-denom. is way more fun and although they’re pretty much all Protestant they do love Christ and have a fire for him in their hearts. Even through being involved in both organizations, I’ve yet to meet a devout girl who loves Christ AND is compatible with me. I’m not involved only to meet a girl, I do it to serve Christ, and I trust in God’s plan whatever that is. The lack of devout Christian girls is hard, I just thought that it would be easier for a devout guy to find a girl but it seems impossible. I don’t want to only limit myself to a devout Catholic girl who is an active Catholic, because if I did then I would die alone because I have met only 2 at my school. It’s disheartening and I just would like to see if there are actually young women out there who are deeply devout and love Christ. Maybe some ideas to meet other girls…
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  1. You chose this school right?
  2. Outside of the school, in the community somewhere there will be adoration and a parish that has a nice young girl for you. I suggest going to adoration at different hours…😉 It is good to sit before the Blessed Sacrament and get your mind right with God. Who knows, there may be a nice surprise there for you someday.
 
Philly88 said:
So I go to a small college that is very liberal and has a student body that generally isn’t too interested in religion. Even though 1/3 of the student body is Catholic, only a small amount show up to weekly mass and only a handful of those people say the prayers/new translation and sing. There is a Catholic Ministry (Newman Center) on Campus but there is only 20 active people in it, me being one of only two freshman that are active in it and one of only three guys in the whole group. Although it’s nice to have a small group go to the Newman Center, the majority of the people really aren’t devout and are fine with just mass and Newman fellowship dinners. No one aside from me and two girls ever go to the confession offered after Mass, we haven’t gone on a retreat yet and I’m the only one who is pushing for more retreats, and no one even openly talks about their faith or what Christ is in their life when we have fellowship dinners at Newman, we’ll say grace and then people pretend like he doesn’t exist. I can’t be more involved in Newman, I’m already on the E-board and another leadership position, and I’m also super involved in a non-denominational Christian group on Campus that is like a youth group. The non-denom. is way more fun and although they’re pretty much all Protestant they do love Christ and have a fire for him in their hearts. Even through being involved in both organizations, I’ve yet to meet a devout girl who loves Christ AND is compatible with me. I’m not involved only to meet a girl, I do it to serve Christ, and I trust in God’s plan whatever that is. The lack of devout Christian girls is hard, I just thought that it would be easier for a devout guy to find a girl but it seems impossible. I don’t want to only limit myself to a devout Catholic girl who is an active Catholic, because if I did then I would die alone because I have met only 2 at my school. It’s disheartening and I just would like to see if there are actually young women out there who are deeply devout and love Christ. Maybe some ideas to meet other girls…
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I think you need to re-evaluate your definition of “devout”. You write that word a lot of times in your post- what does it mean to you? You are spending time with women who go to Mass, participate in Newman activities, say grace, and so forth, and that is not good enough for you. Just because a person says grace and then does not immediately start talking about Christ doesn’t mean she is not devout. Some people are very “quietly” devout, and it doesn’t mean they somehow love Christ any less than you do.

I think perhaps what you mean to say is that you are having trouble finding someone as openly enthusiastic about your faith. It is fine to have that criteria, but realize that you might be overlooking some very faithful women who simply do not have the same personality traits as you do.

I think you might find if you focus less on finding a partner so you don’t “die alone” you will have a much better time in college.
 
Lorelei12 said:
I think you need to re-evaluate your definition of “devout”. You write that word a lot of times in your post- what does it mean to you? You are spending time with women who go to Mass, participate in Newman activities, say grace, and so forth, and that is not good enough for you. Just because a person says grace and then does not immediately start talking about Christ doesn’t mean she is not devout. Some people are very “quietly” devout, and it doesn’t mean they somehow love Christ any less than you do.

I think perhaps what you mean to say is that you are having trouble finding someone as openly enthusiastic about your faith. It is fine to have that criteria, but realize that you might be overlooking some very faithful women who simply do not have the same personality traits as you do.

I think you might find if you focus less on finding a partner so you don’t “die alone” you will have a much better time in college.
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Yes.
 
Frankly you sound like an insufferable prig…lighten up and don 't be so critical of what sound like perfectly good girls…
 
You’re a freshman. Don’t stress so much. Christian colleges often tend to have an immense pressure on finding a partner that I think isn’t always very healthy. You’ve got plenty of time - spend a bit of it learning about your faith and about how others express their faith, and don’t worry about it if you’re not meeting many people right now.
 
Philly88 said:
I don’t want to only limit myself to a devout Catholic girl who is an active Catholic, because if I did then I would die alone because I have met only 2 at my school. It’s disheartening and I just would like to see if there are actually young women out there who are deeply devout and love Christ. Maybe some ideas to meet other girls…
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I know it’s hard to believe this when you’re a teenager, but this moment in your life does not necessarily need to determine the totality of substance for the next 50, 60, or 70 years :hug1:

I assume you are in college to get an education – so focus on that. If God sends you the woman you will marry while you are in college, then you’re going to need an education to support your family. If you don’t meet that woman now, then you’re going to need that education to start a career and grow into the mature man of God that your future wife and children deserve.

Keep your focus on Christ and the task of learning that is before you. Be obedient to His Church and the requirements of your studies first. Then – in your free time – invite some of the other students to attend and/or create some fun events… broomball, snowball fights (ice block sledding if you don’t have snow in your area), hiking, scavenger hunt around town, etc. We used to call these events “Cheap Night Out” – everyone paid some crazy amount like $0.83 to cover the cost of hot cocoa and microwave popcorn when we were done.

Anyway, loosen up about thinking there aren’t any worthy Catholic women on campus. Focus on growing in your faith, in intellect, in maturity. Let God lead the way.

Now get back to your studies, young man! God has a plan for you, and you need to be ready 👍

God bless you!

Gertie
 
Lorelei12 said:
I think you need to re-evaluate your definition of “devout”. You write that word a lot of times in your post- what does it mean to you? You are spending time with women who go to Mass, participate in Newman activities, say grace, and so forth, and that is not good enough for you. Just because a person says grace and then does not immediately start talking about Christ doesn’t mean she is not devout. Some people are very “quietly” devout, and it doesn’t mean they somehow love Christ any less than you do.

I think perhaps what you mean to say is that you are having trouble finding someone as openly enthusiastic about your faith. It is fine to have that criteria, but realize that you might be overlooking some very faithful women who simply do not have the same personality traits as you do.

I think you might find if you focus less on finding a partner so you don’t “die alone” you will have a much better time in college.
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That was my first thought as well.
The longer and more specific your list of “must-haves” the less likely you’re going to find someone that fits that exact criteria. Loosen up dude. It’s early on in the game. :cool:
 
Gertabelle said:
I know it’s hard to believe this when you’re a teenager, but this moment in your life does not necessarily need to determine the totality of substance for the next 50, 60, or 70 years :hug1:

I assume you are in college to get an education – so focus on that. If God sends you the woman you will marry while you are in college, then you’re going to need an education to support your family. If you don’t meet that woman now, then you’re going to need that education to start a career and grow into the mature man of God that your future wife and children deserve.

Keep your focus on Christ and the task of learning that is before you. Be obedient to His Church and the requirements of your studies first. Then – in your free time – invite some of the other students to attend and/or create some fun events… broomball, snowball fights (ice block sledding if you don’t have snow in your area), hiking, scavenger hunt around town, etc. We used to call these events “Cheap Night Out” – everyone paid some crazy amount like $0.83 to cover the cost of hot cocoa and microwave popcorn when we were done.

Anyway, loosen up about thinking there aren’t any worthy Catholic women on campus. Focus on growing in your faith, in intellect, in maturity. Let God lead the way.

Now get back to your studies, young man! God has a plan for you, and you need to be ready 👍

God bless you!

Gertie
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Yes!
 
pianistclare said:
That was my first thought as well.
The longer and more specific your list of “must-haves” the less likely you’re going to find someone that fits that exact criteria. Loosen up dude. It’s early on in the game. :cool:
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This isn’t specifically in regards to the OP (who may or may not be guilty of having too long a list) but to the idea of having a long and very specific “must-haves” list.

As they say on a secular dating site I read, dating isn’t the same as “Build a Bear.”

It’s unfortunately possible to create a list that matches literally no human being on our planet if one gets too specific, particularly if the features one wants involve too many logical contradictions. (Examples: she needs to be laid back, easy-going and also high energy and whip through a to-do list like a hot knife through butter, or he needs to be professionally successful and work a purely 9-5 job.)
 
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