Where do you turn when prayer fails you?

[Mijoy2]

I don’t want to get into the details but there is something I prayed for, my entire family prayed for and the outcome was a failure.

The ramifications of this go beyond just the intentions of the prayer. I don’t mean to be secrective but I just don’t want to get to personal. It has nothing to do with health or healing or any sort of a miracle. It is more of a tangible thing that we had the power to do something about, did all we could do and the result was still a failure. The ramifications are, that along with this prayer request, I continuosly and unceasingly also pray for my family to grow closer to God. This turnout will turn my family further away.

At this point, my hands are shaken and my frustration is without bounds.

To be honest, right now, I feel like an idiot, like a fool and niave for believing there is a God at all.

Now, I have nowhere to turn because this “God” I tried so hard to believe, proves either His indifference, or His non-existance.

I’m an absolute idiot for believing such a fairytale.

 

[InLight247]

You don’t have to get to the specifics. I understand your feeling.

Sometimes we want something so bad, we prayed so hard and made all possible efforts, but things still turn out disappointing. In this case, we might as well relinquish everything into His will, trusting that He knows the best. God sees the end from the beginning, we don’t. His will is always the best and wisest even we cannot see it at the moment. That’s where the “trust” has to come in.

I know sometimes it is hard to swallow. But as we grow on our faith journey, we know more and more that everything is in his hands, he is always on the throne, and he hears us and answers our prayers. Sometimes his answer is no.

He is giving us his unconditional love. We try our best to give him our unconditional trust.

God bless.

 

[puzzleannie]

prayer never fails, God never fails. Humans fail to respond to His grace and fail to acknowledge the answers He invariably gives to prayer. I cannot blame God because my family members have not changed their ways in response to my prayers. God answered, he sent them the needed graces whether or not I am aware of when or how, and they have not as yet responded. When the situation about which I am praying does not seem, to my unaided intellect and perception, to be changing for the better, I turn again to God and keep praying, in answer to thread title. When God gives a clear convincing unmistakable NO that is still an answer, the answer a loving parent gives to a child who has asked for something that in the long run is not a good.

 

[Mijoy2]

I know the replies are made with the best of intentions.

Right now with the hurt I feel, my heart and my intellect are telling me that all that happened when I prayed was air molecules where moved.

I simply cannot bring myself to praying again at this time. I can’t see myself going through the motions of attending Mass this Sunday. To do so would be to deny ever fiber of my being that is telling me there is no point.

I just came back from a ride where, for what ever reason Job entered into my mind. I found myself asking if the Book of Job was written for the purpose of attempting to convice those who continue to have hope after seemingly undeniable evidence that prayer does nothing, to continue on. In other words an attempt of deception (well intentioned) so that fools like me don’t lose hope. But if so, that only lends fuel for the fool to continue being a fool.

Maybe I’ll feel differently in the future, but right now, to continue on would be to lie to myself. If I were to pray I’d feel as though I were asking a man who was punching me to punch me again.

I’m sorry to post such a depressing thread. But these are my honest feelings at this moment. The last person I want to have to turn to is God. It didn’t work before. Thank you for letting me vent. BTW I know there are no answers.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

The key is to trust in God, regardless of the outcome.

Remember the words of Jesus, in his moment of anguish;

“My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39

His will being done, always is better than our desire.

Jim

 

[water]

I’d like to add another point to the thread.

I’d like to mention about our own pride.

When we pray for certain things, we know it is good and pleasing to God, but we fail to allow God to work in His time. Our own pride tells us that this has to happen right away.

This pride can wear us down to the point that we don’t trust in the Lord, no longer believe in Him. We also don’t recognize the free will that God has given to all of us. As puzzleannie says:

prayer never fails, God never fails. Humans fail to respond to His grace and fail to acknowledge the answers

Mijoy2, I know it is frustrating but be patient. One of my family’s prayer has been answered after 10 years of praying. Now, I am praying for some other intention and it might take 10 years, 20 years, or even 50 years, I will not give up on praying.

 

[LilyM]

I know the replies are made with the best of intentions.

Right now with the hurt I feel, my heart and my intellect are telling me that all that happened when I prayed was air molecules where moved.

I simply cannot bring myself to praying again at this time. I can’t see myself going through the motions of attending Mass this Sunday. To do so would be to deny ever fiber of my being that is telling me there is no point.

I just came back from a ride where, for what ever reason Job entered into my mind. I found myself asking if the Book of Job was written for the purpose of attempting to convice those who continue to have hope after seemingly undeniable evidence that prayer does nothing, to continue on. In other words an attempt of deception (well intentioned) so that fools like me don’t lose hope. But if so, that only lends fuel for the fool to continue being a fool.

Maybe I’ll feel differently in the future, but right now, to continue on would be to lie to myself. If I were to pray I’d feel as though I were asking a man who was punching me to punch me again.

I’m sorry to post such a depressing thread. But these are my honest feelings at this moment. The last person I want to have to turn to is God. It didn’t work before. Thank you for letting me vent. BTW I know there are no answers.

The average onlooker at Jesus’ crucifixion would’ve said there was no point - his prayer beforehand, seemingly, wasn’t answered, nor was His crucifixion looking like it served any purpose other than to point Him out as an abject failure. They too could’ve said ‘all that happened was air molecules moved’.

Was this perception correct? Of course not - what happened was the Father said no, because He had a different purpose in mind. Something infinitely better but more difficult than what Jesus was praying for. So He does for you and your family too.

Where on earth would we all have been had Jesus concluded ‘prayer doesn’t work because I didn’t get what I asked for, therefore I won’t do what I know to be right - ie go ahead with the Crucifixion. I’ll run away, marry a girl, live a normal obscure life’. What a disaster THAT would have been, on every level!

Of course there are answers - giving up either on prayer or the sacraments are emphatically NOT the answers! Remember what Jesus said - ‘happy are those who have not seen and yet believe’. Why are you demanding to see miracles and good times before you’ll believe?

The answer is to ask God to show you what HE wants you to do with your current circumstances. And go on trusting that HE has some purpose in mind for you - even if it isn’t clear right now.

 

[Mijoy2]

Thank you all. I have calmed some. This prayer wasn’t diectly for something for me it was for something for my daughter. She needed to logon to the internet this morning and get some results (again not health related) of something she has worked very hard for (also there are other extenuating circumstances). The results were a good or bad thing and the result was bad. All indications were it was going to be positive.

When I saw the look on her face my heart felt like it was put in a vise. All parents out there will understand how when thier child gets painfully disappointed (especially over something very important) our pain is magified 100 fold over if it were ourself.

I seldom pray for anything specific. Like most of us I pray using generalities for others. I never ask for anything for myself (directly I mean, like health or financial security etc), I only ask for the well-being of others and groups of others. I thought I’d give this one a try. The answer was obviously no.

It leaves me frightened for the next time.

Thanks, the people on these forums are big-hearted people.

 

[InLight247]

When I saw the look on her face my heart felt like it was put in a vise. All parents out there will understand how when thier child gets painfully disappointed (especially over something very important) our pain is magified 100 fold over if it were ourself.

I seldom pray for anything specific. Like most of us I pray using generalities for others. I never ask for anything for myself (directly I mean, like health or financial security etc), I only ask for the well-being of others and groups of others. I thought I’d give this one a try. The answer was obviously no.

As a mother, I understand what you are saying.
Mothers put our children’s benefit way above our own.
Years ago when my daughter was taking SAT, I prayed so hard for her to increase 50 points. But she took three times, each time the score end up in the similar range. I was worried if she could get in her first choice of college with 50 points less than we expected. Thank God she did get in her first choice.

But if she didn’t, would I blame God or complain that years of prayers did not work?
No, it could be many things – it could be that we thought we did everything to meet the criteria, but out of our ignorance, we forget to do some important basics. For example, if the school requires heavy community service and we did not perform enough hours.
Or if we did everything right but the result turns out different, it must be God’s will have a better arrangement.

Just thinking of some concrete example to make my points.

 

[jrabs]

She needed to logon to the internet this morning and get some results (again not health related) of something she has worked very hard for (also there are other extenuating circumstances). The results were a good or bad thing and the result was bad. All indications were it was going to be positive.

I can appreciate the disappointment that your daughter feels. Heartbreaking to watch, I bet.

But God does have a reason for saying no at this time. He sees the big picture and He see’s the future. He knows what is going to bring happiness in the long run.

While this does not remove your disappointment, it is the truth.

Let’s take this example - let’s say she was trying to get into a wonderful college. Studied hard, took an achievement test and did not get into the college of her dreams. You’ve all prayed hard and unfortunately it did not come to pass.

Now she has to go to the school of her second choice. So many tears shed.

Only God knows that she will meet the most amazing mentor there and transform her world by making an employment contact. Or perhaps meet her future husband.

Had she gone to school #1, she may have had a wacky roommate - one that was a bad influence - numerous tests of character - who knows.

We will all have disappointments in life. Some very large and hard to accept. It is easy to fall to despair but God’s plan is always the best.

May your family find the peace that God intended with this answer. Keep praying and please encourage her to keep praying. God does hear.

 

[jrabs]

Years ago when my daughter was taking SAT, I prayed so hard for her to increase 50 points. But she took three times, each time the score end up in the similar range. I was worried if she could get in her first choice of college with 50 points less than we expected. Thank God she did get in her first choice.

Just thinking of some concrete example to make my points.

We were posting at the same time - funny that we both used the college experience as an example.

But so true.

 

[water]

I don’t have an example of parent-daughter, but I have a real example of priest and non-believer.

This story was told in my last Bible class. Back in Vietnam, long time ago, when this young priest was assigned to go preach to the native people in my country. This people believed in black magic and stuff-alike.

One day, some people here lost their bicycle and they came to the priest to ask him to pray to God and see if they could find the bike. No answer was given. This looked bad, but it got worse when one voodoo in the village help the people find the bike.

The priest was very sad because God didn’t help him. He thought if God had helped him find the bike, people would’ve converted.

I make long story short…later on, some people converted to Catholic because they had good crops that season after learning the Lord prayer from this priest. Eventually, the Voodoo did the same and converted to Catholic.

This same Voodoo told the priest that if God had helped the priest find the bike, he would’ve killed the priest back then.

God knows what’s best for us and when to provide us the answer.

 

[uglygal]

I do not agree with the insinuation often made that if prayer is not answered, it is somehow your fault. I believe you did everything right - I’m sure your prayers were done correctly and were sincere, because everytime you pray you express trust and confidence in God.

I’m not sure what to say beyond this other than that success can come in many varied ways. Sometimes what seems to be a loss in fact precedes a victory. Sometimes what we view as very important and crucial may in fact be not that important.

I wish I had the words to comfort you at this time

 

[InLight247]

We were posting at the same time - funny that we both used the college experience as an example.

But so true.

Quite interesting.
This morning when I first read about OP’s post, immediately I think of the example of college application.

After I read about her post about getting online to find some result, I hesitate no more to post my example. Interesting you are giving the same example.

 

[Mijoy2]

Quite interesting.
This morning when I first read about OP’s post, immediately I think of the example of college application.

After I read about her post about getting online to find some result, I hesitate no more to post my example. Interesting you are giving the same example.

I’m him, not a her. Mijoy must be a feminine name, I should have chosen another. It’s the name of my boat.

 

[InLight247]

I’m him, not a her. Mijoy must be a feminine name, I should have chosen another. It’s the name of my boat.

Sorry about the mixup.

 

[Coreopisis]

I don’t want to get into the details but there is something I prayed for, my entire family prayed for and the outcome was a failure.

The ramifications of this go beyond just the intentions of the prayer. I don’t mean to be secrective but I just don’t want to get to personal. It has nothing to do with health or healing or any sort of a miracle. It is more of a tangible thing that we had the power to do something about, did all we could do and the result was still a failure. The ramifications are, that along with this prayer request, I continuosly and unceasingly also pray for my family to grow closer to God. This turnout will turn my family further away.

At this point, my hands are shaken and my frustration is without bounds.

To be honest, right now, I feel like an idiot, like a fool and niave for believing there is a God at all.

Now, I have nowhere to turn because this “God” I tried so hard to believe, proves either His indifference, or His non-existance.

I’m an absolute idiot for believing such a fairytale.

Prayer never fails, but faith does, and faith my friend is the key to prayer. Can you honestly say that you had complete faith in God while you were praying?

God answers all faithful prayers. But sometimes his answer is a simple ‘no.’ It could be that this was his answer to you.

Without knowing the specifics I can’t give you any possible reasons he may have given you a ‘no’ answer. But, you should be very careful not to let this shake your faith more. If you think your family is in a bad place now it will only get worse if you turn your back on God.

I would love to help you more to understand what happened. If you wish feel free to send me a private message and we can try to sort this out together. I have a strong feeling inside my heart that there is a reason this happened, for the good, that you are unable to see at this time.

Feel free to lean on my faith at this time. I will continue the prayers for your family until you can take them up again. I will also pray for you to be granted the gift of patience that I see you so desparetly need right now.

May God’s love continue to rain on you until the day that you are able to look up and recognize it.
Sarah

 

[Joysong]

I remember being upset that God did not permit an offer to go through on selling some property around the year 2000. I planned to use the proceeds of the sale and invest it. What a wonderful “no” I discovered a few years later, for had it gone through, and had I invested it at that time, I would have lost better than 50% of my money, due to a horrible stock market bubble that crashed at that time.

As it turned out, I kept the property and was able to realize 20% rental income each year on the original investment amount. Far greater than losing it! And I still have the property, which can now be sold at a greater price than I asked 7 years ago. Praise God for his wonderful ‘no’ that is always for our best, though we cannot see it at the time we pray.

 

[mylo]

My experience - DH and I were married on October 13th, 2007. We were delighted to learn that the Good Lord had blessed us with a Honeymoon Baby. We were very much excited and boy, did we pray for our baby’s health, safety, and all sorts of things until we could hold her when she was born (due date was July 19th, 2008).

The day before Thanksgiving, DH and I went to the Emergency Room twice. Our little Honeymoon Baby died, and I ended up having a miscarriage at a little under six weeks. We are devastated - we wanted that child so badly, it wasn’t even funny. And then to lose her … it could have been very easy to say “See, God never heard our prayers! I’ve had enough of You! How dare You do this to us!”

We really don’t understand the Lord’s plan, but we know that it is far better than ours. I’ve already noticed positive fruits of this experience - I know our little Baby is a Saint praying for us - and as a result I have more fervent love of Jesus in the Eucharist and Scripture. It hasn’t been easy - my heart still aches; but I know that He is with us, even if we don’t understand *why *this happened.

Obviously, not everyone has the same reactions to rough situations. Don’t give up. DH and I are praying again for when to start trying to conceive. I know that if the Good Lord blesses us with another baby, I’m going to be pretty anxious about losing that one, as well. But I know that God will never abandon DH and I, especially in such a trial.

My parish priest recommended meditating on the seven last words of Christ with DH (in addition to praying with DH the Way of the Cross). Perhaps that (meditating, if you are still struggling with prayer) may help you?

I hope you find your peace. You are in my prayers.

 

[Conservative]

Dear Mijoy -

Oh, no - please don’t say God is nonexistent. He’s there. He’s waiting for you - to return to Him. We all wonder when God seems silent - WHY He remains so silent.

I, too, have been praying for something - a sign - that I’ve chosen not to share here - I’m told by friends that God doesn’t give signs - something that I’m told I must trust in God’s Mercy…But I not only BELIEVE in God’s Mercy but know that He’s the only One Who can answer this prayer.

We’re told, “Ask, and you shall receive.” I once heard it explained that that means we may not receive what we want but the answer why, etc. (???) That explanation bothers me.

I sometimes feel like a child who says, ‘just give me this one thing, and I won’t ask for anything else’ - even though I don’t say that. But God knows what we’re thinking, intending and even what we will say EONS before we say or pray it. He knows what’s in our hearts - in that I trust so completely - even when I haven’t gotten answers to other prayers in my life. It is perhaps the greatest frustration in prayer.

I trust that God understands me (and you) right now - and the reasoning behind our requests. He knows better than we do why we’re asking it. I haven’t heard from Him yet - sometimes God waits, sometimes we don’t hear Him, and sometimes (and I don’t like this one but) sometimes, He says, “no”.

But, may I NEVER deny His existence. God hasn’t failed you. Prayer hasn’t failed you. But the Evil One will have succeeded if you let this thought rule you. I believe that the Evil One tries to succeed in ways we don’t recognize - panic, despair, confusion, anger, etc. In your case - it seems like anger or despair (I hope someone will correct my wording, if I’m wrong). Please don’t despair. In my case, it was lack of prayer, and panic which led to confusion and poor judgement - and I’m paying for it now within myself.

Praying that you rethink your position -
Don’t give up on God -
He hasn’t given up on YOU !

Conservative