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petitfleur
Guest
I was wondering how many of you went to church at you town’s Catholic church, and how many chose a different parish. If you chose another parish than the one you live in…why???
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crazzeto
Guest
I go to my local town’s parish, St Michael the Archangle in Cary NC. When I visit my parents I go to the parish I went to growing up, St. Paul on the Lake in Grosse Pointe Farms MI. St Michael is terrific in so far as the ministries they have, I’m very involved there. St Paul is a bit better when it comes to confession hours, oppertunities for Eucharistic adoration and the like. I wish I could have a St. Paul on the like here in NC along with St. Michael’s, that would be the best of both worlds 
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Sailor_Kenshin
Guest
I was ready to swim the Tiber and because we’re within equal distance of a few churches, frankly went parish-shopping.
‘My’ parish church seemed cold, huge, and impersonal (and now that I know about the Mass, waaaay too unorthodox).
The second parish had my favorite church, but no parking, so reluctantly I kept looking.
A third parish seemed better. For no good reason I cried the first time I went there, so I figured, ‘this is it.’
But when it came time to enter RCIA, they acted like I was an annoyance.
Back to the second parish with my fave church and no parking. I phoned their RCIA director and almost the instant I hung up after our conversation, their parish priest called me and just about lassooed me to come and meet with him.
He really, really wanted us there.
We entered that RCIA program and for a small parish we had one of the biggest groups of converts that year.
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Bob4BVM
Guest
I usually disagree with people who don’t go to their home parish for whatever reason… but I LIKE your story ! God has His ways of getting things done with us. Isn’t He GREAT ?
I attend Mass at my geographic parish.
When I first moved to this city I continued to attend Mass at a parish in the city I had lived in prior to moving here. I sang in the choir at that parish and wanted to stay there. And I thought the music at the parish in my current home city wasn’t that great.
We got married and attended Mass in the “old” city and that’s where our son was baptized. But eventually there was a new parish established in our current city and we began attending there. We’ve been there ever since. (And now my old choir director from the old parish is here so it’s even better.)
When I first moved to this city I continued to attend Mass at a parish in the city I had lived in prior to moving here. I sang in the choir at that parish and wanted to stay there. And I thought the music at the parish in my current home city wasn’t that great.
We got married and attended Mass in the “old” city and that’s where our son was baptized. But eventually there was a new parish established in our current city and we began attending there. We’ve been there ever since. (And now my old choir director from the old parish is here so it’s even better.)
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LongingForLight
Guest
We’re currently attending at our geographic parish, but there have been times in the past when we haven’t. Two come to mind:
- When the twins were little, we would attend at my aunt’s parish so that we could have extra hands helping to hold the babies. Also, the church choir would let me sing with a babe in arms until the girls were too old to keep quiet so close to the microphones The parish we attended at - my aunt’s parish - was only a few miles further than our geographic parish, and I still went to the local parish for Confession. The priest at the local parish was truly wonderful
but the extra hands and chance to participate in parish life at my aunt’s parish was just too compelling. - A year later, we moved to a house about 2 miles away from where I’d attended college. Our local parish was rich, polite, and . . . I don’t know, it felt like what spirit was there was coated with a think layer of secular apathy and . . . propriety? More importantly, the parish where DH and I had attended while we were dating and engaged, and where we had gotten married, was right next to the college, also just 2 miles away. It was a Newman Center, and absolutely AMAZING in the richness of its life and faith and activity - plus we knew so many people there already. It just made sense to return to our old parish again.
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LynnNH
Guest
It’s strange that you should ask this, because I am dealing with this now. We just moved to a new town, and contrary to where we lived before, there is more than one Catholic Church in a do-able driving distance.
The closest geographical church is one that we went to some years ago when we lived in this area before, and I thought it was quite a welcoming place, etc. Now I don’t quite feel the same way. Added to that is the attitude of the religious ed director there, whom I encountered only on the phone when trying to register my children for CCD (we did not have any children when we lived here previously). My feelings about her were confirmed by a friend who lives here, too, so I will be homeschooling my children for CCD this year.
Now going to Mass there I don’t feel quite so welcomed. People don’t chat on the way out of Mass, or anything like that, which seems such a silly reason, but why would we feel like we wanted to come back if no one even smiled at us going in or going out? I didn’t feel very…well, much of anything, at Mass there, though I tried to participate as usual.
Is it wrong for me to go to a couple of the other churches in the area and decide which one fits us best? We’ve never had this opportunity before. I look at some of the local non-Catholic churches around here and see that they have thriving parish families, and I don’t get that feeling from this local church. I am not at a point in my life where I can try to be the person to bring that element to a church.
Maybe I’m just thinking too much. But I really want to belong to a church where we are welcomed, made to feel like part of the family, and where my faith is nurtured. I am at a point where I have considered going to a non-Catholic church simply because there are so many welcoming and familial type aspects of it. But I don’t want to leave my Catholic faith.
Sorry, I don’t mean to hijack the thread, but perhaps others who go to a church that isn’t their closest one have felt the same way I have.
Lynn in NH
The closest geographical church is one that we went to some years ago when we lived in this area before, and I thought it was quite a welcoming place, etc. Now I don’t quite feel the same way. Added to that is the attitude of the religious ed director there, whom I encountered only on the phone when trying to register my children for CCD (we did not have any children when we lived here previously). My feelings about her were confirmed by a friend who lives here, too, so I will be homeschooling my children for CCD this year.
Now going to Mass there I don’t feel quite so welcomed. People don’t chat on the way out of Mass, or anything like that, which seems such a silly reason, but why would we feel like we wanted to come back if no one even smiled at us going in or going out? I didn’t feel very…well, much of anything, at Mass there, though I tried to participate as usual.
Is it wrong for me to go to a couple of the other churches in the area and decide which one fits us best? We’ve never had this opportunity before. I look at some of the local non-Catholic churches around here and see that they have thriving parish families, and I don’t get that feeling from this local church. I am not at a point in my life where I can try to be the person to bring that element to a church.
Maybe I’m just thinking too much. But I really want to belong to a church where we are welcomed, made to feel like part of the family, and where my faith is nurtured. I am at a point where I have considered going to a non-Catholic church simply because there are so many welcoming and familial type aspects of it. But I don’t want to leave my Catholic faith.
Sorry, I don’t mean to hijack the thread, but perhaps others who go to a church that isn’t their closest one have felt the same way I have.
Lynn in NH
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Anais_Fleur
Guest
After some personal information was shared between the parish staff and parishioners about my husband, his job hunt, and our desire to move, I stopped going to our local parish. We have been very hurt by the lack of discretion on the part of the pastor and the staff. Also, the parish has an interim sanctuary without kneelers…just stackable chairs, and it’s been that way for several years now. Aside from the personal info situation, I find it very hard to find peace in this environment. It’s like worshiping in a gymnasium.
Since my husband took an assignment away from home for a few months, I have gone to three other parishes in rotation. I have very much enjoyed attending them, even though I have not officially moved our registration or taken part in activities.
Now that my husband is returning, he wants to resume going to the local church. I’m not so sure, but I don’t want to be disagreeable.
What to do, what to do…
Since my husband took an assignment away from home for a few months, I have gone to three other parishes in rotation. I have very much enjoyed attending them, even though I have not officially moved our registration or taken part in activities.
Now that my husband is returning, he wants to resume going to the local church. I’m not so sure, but I don’t want to be disagreeable.
What to do, what to do…
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Jan_Bolbot
Guest
We live in a community with only one parish. Fortunately it is a good one with a great pastor, a school, and very active ministries. I know many of the parishioners are less orthodox than I am, but the Church serves everyone, so if people hold hands during the Our Father or make some gestures when they respond “and also with you” it is a small thing.
Where we used to live I had the same dilemma. I hate the idea of parish shopping, but I was a member of an ethnic parish that was not near where I lived. Very traditional and a nice community of friends. Later, after I got married we attended the same parish but there was a parish near where our new house was that was a English-language parish with a fanastic, well-educated, orthodox pastor who pulled no punches when it came to issues like gay marriage or abortion. So it was a real dilemma. We loved our ethnic parish and its rich traditions but the other one really appealed to us and it had a great school with daily Mass. We even contemplated one of us joining the geographic parish and the other staying with the ethnic one and alternating Sundays.
jb
Where we used to live I had the same dilemma. I hate the idea of parish shopping, but I was a member of an ethnic parish that was not near where I lived. Very traditional and a nice community of friends. Later, after I got married we attended the same parish but there was a parish near where our new house was that was a English-language parish with a fanastic, well-educated, orthodox pastor who pulled no punches when it came to issues like gay marriage or abortion. So it was a real dilemma. We loved our ethnic parish and its rich traditions but the other one really appealed to us and it had a great school with daily Mass. We even contemplated one of us joining the geographic parish and the other staying with the ethnic one and alternating Sundays.
jb
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Phemie
Guest
I attend my geographic parish and am happy to have it because the next parish with a regular Sunday Mass is 7 hours away by car (depending on the weather and condition of the road).
Starting in January, we will probably be without Mass at least one Sunday a month since our pastor will be ministering in another parish 3-4 hours away. At least 3 times a year we will be without Mass for 2-3 weeks in a row when he flies to a third community to minister there for a couple of weeks at a time.
Starting in January, we will probably be without Mass at least one Sunday a month since our pastor will be ministering in another parish 3-4 hours away. At least 3 times a year we will be without Mass for 2-3 weeks in a row when he flies to a third community to minister there for a couple of weeks at a time.
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mrs_abbott
Guest
I usually attend the church that’s in my town because it’s right across the street. The only reason I may not attend there is if I need to go to a different Mass time or if I don’t have a chance to go at all.
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petitfleur
Guest
I think there are great benifits of attending your own local parish. I like that our elderly neighbor, bank teller and several teachers at my kids school are regular mass attendants.
I like seeing everyday community members at Mass, even though I dont know thier name we recognize eachother’s face.
I asked becuase I live 20 minutes form the church/school where I grew up. My family is not Catholic or religiouse in any way but put me in a Catholic school for the education. It was a really miserable expierence for me I was bullied horribly, one teacher named me “loser” and made me sit in the ‘loser’ section. The principle called me breakfast club becuase I had regular morning detention for poor grades. My home life wasnt to great either…but I remember going to Mass mothly with the school and looking up at the beautiful stained glass windows, and wide arches and knowing God’s presence and love. I think it kept me from killing myself becuase I thought about it often. I became a christian and converted to Catholicism as an adult. I hat to admit I was disapointed when I went to my local church for the firs time- it was built in the 60’s and the design is nowhere near as inspiring as the first church. But still it is my community church, and I know not a good reason to change
. I think I will go on occasion though.
I like seeing everyday community members at Mass, even though I dont know thier name we recognize eachother’s face.
I asked becuase I live 20 minutes form the church/school where I grew up. My family is not Catholic or religiouse in any way but put me in a Catholic school for the education. It was a really miserable expierence for me I was bullied horribly, one teacher named me “loser” and made me sit in the ‘loser’ section. The principle called me breakfast club becuase I had regular morning detention for poor grades. My home life wasnt to great either…but I remember going to Mass mothly with the school and looking up at the beautiful stained glass windows, and wide arches and knowing God’s presence and love. I think it kept me from killing myself becuase I thought about it often. I became a christian and converted to Catholicism as an adult. I hat to admit I was disapointed when I went to my local church for the firs time- it was built in the 60’s and the design is nowhere near as inspiring as the first church. But still it is my community church, and I know not a good reason to change
. I think I will go on occasion though.
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Bailey2
Guest
Where I used to live, there was only one parish… easy choice.
When we moved here, there were three fairly close by. We went to all three. When we got to the third one, my youngest then 10 turned to my husband and I at the conclusion of mass and said, “This is MY parish. I won’t go anywhere else. I feel home here.” How could we refuse? The blessing for me is that I finally found a spiritual director–priest no less, a rare thing–after three years of praying for one! Out of the mouth of babes…
Recently, our son’s potential travel hockey schedule was going to make it necessary to either skip a year or receive his confirmation at another parish. He said, “No way! XXX is MY parish and I won’t receive confirmation anywhere else!” Mind you , most of his friends are at parish YYY. Turns out schedule is changed so he will be making it this April as planned.
And suiting my spirit, this is the most international and economically diverse parish I have ever attended… and I have traveled a lot. God is good!
When we moved here, there were three fairly close by. We went to all three. When we got to the third one, my youngest then 10 turned to my husband and I at the conclusion of mass and said, “This is MY parish. I won’t go anywhere else. I feel home here.” How could we refuse? The blessing for me is that I finally found a spiritual director–priest no less, a rare thing–after three years of praying for one! Out of the mouth of babes…
Recently, our son’s potential travel hockey schedule was going to make it necessary to either skip a year or receive his confirmation at another parish. He said, “No way! XXX is MY parish and I won’t receive confirmation anywhere else!” Mind you , most of his friends are at parish YYY. Turns out schedule is changed so he will be making it this April as planned.
And suiting my spirit, this is the most international and economically diverse parish I have ever attended… and I have traveled a lot. God is good!
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Bob4BVM
Guest
Good discussions all, but remember, it is not about our feelings, or any of the people here or there, or any of the rest of the worldy trapings that go on at one parish or another.
It is about the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, when Heaven touches Earth so that we may receive the grace of the Son. In that respect all parishes are united and equal.
No matter what parish we are in, If we could see what is really going on on the altar at the Consecration, we would die out of love.
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Let humanity kneel in fear, let the whole universe tremble, and let heaven rejoice when Christ the Son of the Living God is on the altar in the hands of the priest!
O wonderful ascent, O stupendous ascent! O sublime humility! O humble sublimity, that the Lord of the Universe, God and Son of God, should humbly hide himself, for our salvation, in what seems to be only a small piece of bread! Look, then, upon the humility of God! And pour out your hearts before Him. Humble yourselves that He might exalt you. Hold back nothing of yourselves for yourselves, that He may receive your all who gave His all for you!
Saint Francis of Assisi
Letter to the Whole Order
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It is about the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, when Heaven touches Earth so that we may receive the grace of the Son. In that respect all parishes are united and equal.
No matter what parish we are in, If we could see what is really going on on the altar at the Consecration, we would die out of love.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Let humanity kneel in fear, let the whole universe tremble, and let heaven rejoice when Christ the Son of the Living God is on the altar in the hands of the priest!
O wonderful ascent, O stupendous ascent! O sublime humility! O humble sublimity, that the Lord of the Universe, God and Son of God, should humbly hide himself, for our salvation, in what seems to be only a small piece of bread! Look, then, upon the humility of God! And pour out your hearts before Him. Humble yourselves that He might exalt you. Hold back nothing of yourselves for yourselves, that He may receive your all who gave His all for you!
Saint Francis of Assisi
Letter to the Whole Order
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Bob4BVM
Guest
Wow, thank you for the reality check.
How fortunate we are to have a Mass to attend at all.
Much of the world is not so lucky, or should i say blessed ?
Or maybe God in His mercy just knows where the need is the greatest !
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forever_always
Guest
my fiance and i go to a parish about 30 minutes away… so about two towns over lol. we go to that one because we don’t like the one near my house (VERY modern! No kneelers!), and the next closest church to us is onbase, but I don’t really care for the military church (he is USAF)… so I church hopped at bit, and found a nice small church.
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KarenElissa
Guest
I live in a big city and there are a number of parishes close to where I live. I go to mine because it was the one I kind of randomly chose to visit before I was Catholic and I loved it there, so I just kept going. It isn’t technically my home parish, but is really less than a mile farther. I’m pretty much on the boundary of four parishes. Cross the street to the north and I’d be in a different one, cross the street to the east, another one, cross the street to the east and go down less than a block and I’d be in the one I go too.
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Phemie
Guest
Until I came to this community, I usually worshipped at the military parish on whatever Base we were posted. The only time I chose a parish other than my military parish was at the posting before we came here: we lived on Base but there was a “Catholic Faith Community” about 20 minutes away and I opted to go there with my children because I could worship in my mother tongue. We had no church, we gathered for Mass and the sacraments at the French School/Community Centre and used the auditorium for the purpose. I have to admit that in the summer when I wasn’t scheduled to read I did parish hop just to see what else there was around but I was always happy to go back ‘home’ to my Community.
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Belle10
Guest
I don’t think it’s a problem to find a Catholic church that you feel comfortable in and nutured in. While the sacrifice of the Mass is holy and the same everywhere, the priest, people, music, etc. is not and different people need different types of communities to add to their faith-building.
What I do think is a problem is leaving the Catholic faith because you aren’t feeling enough warm-fuzziness from your parish community. When it comes down to it, remember that nowhere else can you physically, actually, truly receive Jesus Christ. Don’t leave Him for anything!
Wow.
It’s things like your situation that reminds me to pray for vocations, something I don’t often think to do. 
So true.
So, now I’ll share my story.
We live equadistant to three different parish communities. I’ve attended the one that “felt like home” to me since I’ve lived here. My DH isn’t Catholic but has started attending with me and the kids recently and he really prefers one of the other churches better (because he likes the priest there). So, when he goes with us, we go to that one. While it doesn’t quite “feel like home” to me, I know Jesus is there just as much as He is in each Catholic church, and I pray that attending where my DH feels most comfortable will help in hopefully his wanting to become Catholic one day.
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LynnNH
Guest
Belle10, thanks for your response. I think what I was feeling like was that the closest church doesn’t really have a ‘faith community’ feel, and that was what was making me uncomfortable. I do think we’ll try another church or two, as I know there was one we went to nearby that we really enjoyed (long before we moved, when we were in town for something and went to the local Mass), so now that we’re closer perhaps we’ll go there.
In trawling around the forum last night, I immediately felt again how right I am to stay with my Catholic faith. I should be able to find the kind of faith community I want within the Church. The hard thing will be finding one that suits both my husband and myself!
It is so true that thinking of not having Mass more than once or twice a month reminds us to pray for vocations! Thanks for the reminder, Phemie!
In trawling around the forum last night, I immediately felt again how right I am to stay with my Catholic faith. I should be able to find the kind of faith community I want within the Church. The hard thing will be finding one that suits both my husband and myself!
It is so true that thinking of not having Mass more than once or twice a month reminds us to pray for vocations! Thanks for the reminder, Phemie!
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