That being said, I also think the OP might want to try to calm the anger and resentment, stop thinking about this as a “common courtesy” issue, and instead, think about some of the reasons why people nowdays make noise.
Here are my ideas:
- People are uncomfortable with silence.
This is a trait that has developed in the last few decades in the U.S. Most people have to have some kind of background noise or they are simply too uncomfortable to work or play. In workplaces, a radio is almost always allowed because many people can’t work without it. In my workplace (hospital lab) all the young people wear iPods and earbuds all day. Many people turn the TV on the instant they walk into their homes. Many people turn the radio on in their car. Many people sleep with a “white noise” machine because they can’t stand total silence (I’m one of those people).
Even farmers now drive enclosed tractors with radios, computers, and TVs! No more clip-clop plodding of strong horses, and no more driving around and around the field for hours with no noise other than birds and the wind! Farmers today are connected!
As to why we are uncomfortable with silence, that’s a good question. I personally think many people don’t like being alone with their thoughts, because they are forced to think about serious things. This is especially true in a church–people have to actually THINK about Who they are supposed to be worshipping, and that’s really scary.
- People are lonely.
It seems incomprehensible that with most of us living in a city or town surrounded by people, and with most of us mobile (cars, other forms of transportation), and with most of us having constant access to phones and computer–we are so lonely.
Many of us live isolated lives much of the time, and we don’t have the constant “chat over the back fence” that used to be the norm in American homes.
And of course, half of us are divorced, and that is a terrible form of loneliness.
Many of us spend too much time living in a fantasy world because we watch TV, surf the web, or read magazines and fiction works for hours at a stretch. We don’t DO any life, we just read about or watch OTHERS living it. This intensifies our loneliness, because we feel that everyone else is having a great time and has many friends–except us.
So it’s no wonder that people feel the need to try to make contact with other human beings in a friendly and safe setting like a church.
- Social norms regarding children have changed, and it is highly unlikely that they will change back. It’s hard to believe that less than a century ago, society’s rule for children was “Be seen and not heard.” Nowadays, children are encouraged from birth to speak right up! A child who talks is highly regarded by parents, relatives, and teachers. In fact, in many schools, “silence” is no longer golden–teachers encourage a lively classroom filled with conversation, music, and the study noises.
For that matter, it used to be considered good manners for a woman to be quiet and demure. This is no longer the case. It is not just feminists who believe that women have a right to be speak up and be heard.
So I think that sometimes, people have a difficult time switching off. They’re so used to speaking up! And families are used to chatter and conversation, and most little ones have a very hard time differentiating the times when talking is OK and when it isn’t OK. Someone older ones can’t differentiate, either!
These are just three of my ideas. I’m certainly not saying that they are all good developments in society. I think it’s sad that we are no longer able to be comfortable with silence, and very very sad that we are all so lonely and desperate for human contact.
As for the change in what is considered “good manners,” well, there’s not really a lot we can do about this–to rail against it is only going to cause frustration and create animosity. Societal norms take a long time to change, and it’s unlikely we will go back to a time when people were expected to be quiet.
So my suggestion is that for our own mental and emotional health and peace, we each stop railing againt the noise, and learn to deal with this new social “noise” norm.
We can re-learn how to worship God in the midst of the noise. It is possible to find a “quiet place” within ourselves, and retreat there during Mass or other times when we want to seek God.
I personally don’t think it is effective when priests speak against the noise, or when signs are up. I’ve seen both approaches used in Protestant and Catholic churches (yes, “noise” and conversation is an even bigger problem in many Protestant churches). It just doesn’t work. The conventions of our society, and the forces which cause us to be “noisy” are just too powerful, and people forget the priest’s/pastor’s admonition, and they stop seeing the signs.
Truly, the best approach is to learn to “don’t worry, be happy.” I know that sounds new agey and kind of silly, but what is the solution otherwise?
Sit and stew? This only raises stress levels and causes early death.
Complain to the priest? Again, what can he do when his announcements and his signs meet with no compliance? (He could walk out of the Mass, but this seems inappropriate and probably would get HIM in trouble, and again, in a few weeks, people would forget and start being noisy again.)
Shush the people around you? Chances are good that within a few weeks, people will complain to the priest about YOU! And it’s likely that the priest will tell you that it’s not your place to try to enforce your idea of good manners.
Nope–this is one of those situations where you just have to adjust your own thinking. Or move to a country where silence is still golden.
