Where is she?

[Norseman82]

But what do we men do when those women reject us constantly because they don’t deem us to be good enough? I’m not saying that men should go with Protestants instead, but we can’t seem to get the single Catholics to even look at us.

Yup!

I’ve met the types that say “I want a Catholic guy, but not that Catholic,” and I’ve been rejected by quite a few because I practice my faith without compromising any of its tenets.

I’m not in-your-face and stopping to pray a rosary every five minutes or taking dates on church tours. In fact, I don’t really speak about my faith until you really get to know me in person.

Yet, I’m “too Catholic” for some Catholic girls.
I guess these want a man who won’t make fun of them for being Catholic, looks good sitting next to her in a pew on a Sunday morning she’s not hungover, and will want to get married in a church for family’s sake.

Didn’t you get the memo? That means you are called to the “single vocation”!

[/sarcasm]

 

[Paddy1989]

Yup!

I’ve met the types that say “I want a Catholic guy, but not that Catholic,” and I’ve been rejected by quite a few because I practice my faith without compromising any of its tenets.

I’m not in-your-face and stopping to pray a rosary every five minutes or taking dates on church tours. In fact, I don’t really speak about my faith until you really get to know me in person.

Yet, I’m “too Catholic” for some Catholic girls.
I guess these want a man who won’t make fun of them for being Catholic, looks good sitting next to her in a pew on a Sunday morning she’s not hungover, and will want to get married in a church for family’s sake.

The girl’s you are describing are obviously not practicing Catholic’s so i wouldn’t worry about them. Seriously though i think too many of you are limiting yourselves by only going for Catholic’s girl’s

 

[chevalier]

The girl’s you are describing are obviously not practicing Catholic’s so i wouldn’t worry about them. Seriously though i think too many of you are limiting yourselves by only going for Catholic’s girl’s

Not necessarily true. Practicing doesn’t guarantee being magisterially sound, so to say. And in some cases a person complaining along those lines may in a way be saying that non-obligatory observances, theology and apostolates are not such a great part of his life as of the other person’s.

But what do we men do when those women reject us constantly because they don’t deem us to be good enough? I’m not saying that men should go with Protestants instead, but we can’t seem to get the single Catholics to even look at us.

Look for other women. Find out what type of women is actually attracted to you, if necessary (in order to concentrate on the likelier demographic to be attracted to you). If it’s something that many women have a problem with and is in your power to change and is not immoral to change, then consider changing it (all the more so if they complain about a bad habit).

 

[Paddy1989]

Not necessarily true. Practicing doesn’t guarantee being magisterially sound, so to say.

Yea but what he is describing here is someone who obviously doesn’t take their faith seriously where they to go to Church hungover or are turned off by a good Catholic man because he actually practices his faith. I know some women here who would only marry a Catholic man to prevent any complication’s after marriage with kid’s etc but who only take their faith seriously at best by spending half an hour or so a week going to mass and would certainly not want a strong faithful Catholic man as they would be incompatible to say the least

Practicing mean’s someone who actually practice’s the faith which require’s action

 

[chevalier]

Yea but what he is describing here is someone who obviously doesn’t take their faith seriously where they to go to Church hungover or are turned off by a good Catholic man because who actually practices his faith.

Not necessarily. We didn’t get any data to make a reliable conclusion. That part about looking good in a pew on Sunday and marrying in Church for family’s sake sounds likely to be a hyperbole.

 

[Paddy1989]

Not necessarily. We didn’t get any data to make a reliable conclusion. That part about looking good in a pew on Sunday and marrying in Church for family’s sake sounds likely to be a hyperbole.

Well i for one would find it incredibly strange for any Catholic women to reject a man because he his a practicing Catholic unless she doesn’t take her faith very seriously. I know plenty of men for example who wouldn’t go near a practicing Catholic women because of her moral standard’s which would be based on the Catholic world-view

 

[chevalier]

Well i for one would find it incredibly strange for any Catholic women to reject a man because he his a practicing Catholic unless she doesn’t take her faith very seriously.

That’s a bit too hasty a conclusion, Paddy. “Because he’s too Catholic,” isn’t the same as, “because he’s practicing Catholic.” My point is that those conclusions are too fast. It may well mean “too religious” and when somebody says, “he’s too religious for me,” it’s not the same as, “he’s religious and I can’t stand religious people at all.”

 

[JoyIsLikeRain]

Not necessarily. We didn’t get any data to make a reliable conclusion. That part about looking good in a pew on Sunday and marrying in Church for family’s sake sounds likely to be a hyperbole.

Yup. It’s hyperbole.
Laugh a little.

Anyway, I wonder a lot lately if I’m called to the single life. I just don’t see myself in such a life-altering state as marriage at age 27.

 

[The_Bucket]

Single gents in their mid to late 20s, I can give y’all my sister’s number if you would like. She’s just as annoyed as you are.

 

[chevalier]

Single gents in their mid to late 20s, I can give y’all my sister’s number if you would like. She’s just as annoyed as you are.

Women have it even worse than men. Hope you can fix your sister with someone local.

 

[SgtSchultz]

Seriously? You guys think you’re meant to be single just because you’re unmarried in your late 20s? Most people I know don’t get married until their mid-30s!

 

[Crescentinus]

Seriously? You guys think you’re meant to be single just because you’re unmarried in your late 20s? Most people I know don’t get married until their mid-30s!

Not in my case, though. O:
I’ve seen people in their 20s getting married a lot these days.

 

[SgtSchultz]

Not in my case, though. O:
I’ve seen people in their 20s getting married a lot these days.

Just out of curiosity, could this be because you’re in East Asia? I know over there in that culture women are seen somewhat as failures if they aren’t married before turning 30. I have several Korean and Japanese female friends who are freaking out because of this. (I stop short of reminding them that I’m still single. )

 

[Crescentinus]

Just out of curiosity, could this be because you’re in East Asia? I know over there in that culture women are seen somewhat as failures if they aren’t married before turning 30. I have several Korean and Japanese female friends who are freaking out because of this. (I stop short of reminding them that I’m still single. )

I live in the Philippines, not in Korea nor Japan. O:

 

[SgtSchultz]

I live in the Philippines, not in Korea nor Japan. O:

But the culture about marriage age and females is the same there too, no? And perhaps even more prominent?

 

[Crescentinus]

But the culture about marriage age and females is the same there too, no? And perhaps even more prominent?

Here in Manila, the expectation comes more from popular media portrayals of romance rather than the family.

 

[JoyIsLikeRain]

Women have it even worse than men. Hope you can fix your sister with someone local.

It’s easy to say that, but there’s double-standards for both genders. Yes, for every 5 “good Catholic girls” there’s 2.5 “good Catholic guys,” at least in the U.S

I’ve also come to realize that just because she’s Catholic and agrees with all tenets of her faith doesn’t mean she’s any more bearable of a person to date than a non-Catholic girl.

I’ve been on some dates with “good Catholic girls” who were at their best insane (So nice to meet you! You must meet my 10 siblings! How many kids do want to have!?! Home-schooling only!!!).
And at their worst, insufferable (Thanks, Sally, for re-scheduling the date at the last minute and complaining to me on the phone for 3 hours about how miserable pharmacy school is and how your condo isn’t big enough).

 

[chevalier]

It’s easy to say that, but there’s double-standards for both genders. Yes, for every 5 “good Catholic girls” there’s 2.5 “good Catholic guys,” at least in the U.S

I actually live in a Catholic country, you know, but there’s still the same problem with dissenting opinions about bioethics, plus a couple of other issues. Obviously, if one wanted to find a person with compatible values, disregard everything else and just make do in other regards, then there’d be ample way to do that, I guess.

I’ve been on some dates with “good Catholic girls” who were at their best insane (So nice to meet you! You must meet my 10 siblings! How many kids do want to have!?! Home-schooling only!!!).

Run for the hills, I guess? I think some people want to do it the best way they can and they lose touch with reality at some point through trying too hard.

And at their worst, insufferable (Thanks, Sally, for re-scheduling the date at the last minute and complaining to me on the phone for 3 hours about how miserable pharmacy school is and how your condo isn’t big enough).

I have a rule: if I listen to those things in large quantities for a stranger, then I can be a friend but not a boyfriend. Either or.

Yet another problem is finding someone who’s on the same page. For obvious reasons I will not say a bad word about someone whose every sentence spoken is about God or religion, who talks theology all the time, is mostly interested in theology, doesn’t need other things in life much, and will comment on everything with a religious reference. But I’m simply more secular than that, myself, I could not live like aforementioned, and such a person would sooner or later be displeased with me. On the other hand, I don’t want to date someone who has dissenting opinions on bioethics. For the record, even in the ministry/theology crowd, you will still find people who have dissenting opinions or believe it’s up to everybody to pick (“everybody has the right to his own opinion,” as one once-Catholic dating website round here puts it).

 

[SgtSchultz]

Another thing to think about: people change. You don’t need someone who agrees with absolutely everything you do on the same level. In fact, I met a girl yesterday who is doing RCIA even though she is an atheist and her parents were agnostic/apathetic. Her former boyfriend planted the proverbial seed. She told about how, through several little things, she was driven to attend mass one day. She has gone at least every Sunday since.

They actually gave a handout to me at RCIA that tells the story of a woman who was brought to convert to Catholicism through her boyfriend.

Point is, don’t write someone off because they don’t match all the requirements on your list. For me, if they’re pro-abortion, that’s a deal-killer obviously, but I don’t care as much about her opinions on same sex marriage.