Where not using contraception can kill

[tick_tock]

I have a medical condition where a pregnancy would cause serious medical problems quickly and as the months go both myself and our child would probably die before anything medical could be done.

Because of this (and not wanting to use the Pill because of its destruction of fertilised eggs) I opted for NFP and condoms.

I am unable to rely on NFP alone because of medical problems that do not give a predictable cycle.

Is there somewhere that says that a married couple who find themselves in this situation can use preventative methods to be able to have sex and to avoid death or medical complications that would cause severe impairments to result?

Lou

 

[Fergal]

No.

Artificial contraception i.e. condoms cannot be used in any circumstance as a preventative of new life. What the Church teaches is that couples in this situation and / or situations like yours are called to a time of continence during the fertile periods of a woman’s cycle.

Think about this. Contraception is linked directly to lust not to love. It is very possible, but wrong, to strongly lust after one’s spouse. Lust is an inordinate desire for personal pleasure without due regard to the feelings of your spouse.

True love waits until the NFP gives you the ‘green light’!! Even the Holy Father himself has accepted that this is difficult but has pointed out that it is an obtainable goal as it is built up on patience and cooperation. (This was a great source of comfort to me personally!)

Purchase of condoms simply with the intention of preventing life finance and fuel the culture of death in more than a monetary way. Purchase of condoms increases demand and therefore increases supply. No Catholic should be responsible for this.

 

[Lancer]

Lou…I agree with Fergal…don’t ignore the Church’s teaching on this one.
I speak as a married man who had to go into a near-celibate state in my marriage when my wife underwent a long term very physical and very emotional illness (state) after several miscarriages. I whined and looked for all kinds of “pastoral” outs to “cut us some slack”…even found some well intentioned but clearly misguided priestly counsel. I never felt right (mind, heart, conscience) about any of this advice, even though it was exactly what I was looking for. The truth came from one of my old Marine Corps boot camp buddies…now a very distinguished Navy priest-chaplain serving with Marines all over the world. When I told him and asked for spiritual counsel…his first words were: "…you lucky son of a “gun”…“this (cross) will be one of your finest moments in this life.” “The Lord is asking you to show your love for him, his Church and your wife in a deeper more sacrificial way”…“get with it Son”!

It was hard but his words lifted my vision above my selfish self…and I embraced the situation with a sacrificial desire to do the Lord’s will and trust him. The priest-chaplain was 200 percent right on the money! It was a growth in love for the Lord, His Church and my dear wife…that would have never happened otherwise (I am quite sure).

Not easy…but I recommend that you put your situation in a prayerful “sacrificial” mind set…heart set…and let his graces not only sustain you…but allow new spiritual growth.

You and your spouse are in my prayers
Pax Christi

 

[1ke]

Is there somewhere that says that a married couple who find themselves in this situation can use preventative methods to be able to have sex and to avoid death or medical complications that would cause severe impairments to result?

Lou

No. Contraception is always a moral evil.

Natural family planning through observing the cycle and abstaining is morally acceptable.

I would suggest you look at the Marquette Method, which is based on Creighton but also uses a fertility monitor.

Contraception-- condoms-- are never a moral option. And, if my life depended upon not getting pregnant, a condom would NOT be my choice at all. They are highly unreliable. NFP is much more sound, medically.

 

[captbackfire]

I have a medical condition where a pregnancy would cause serious medical problems quickly and as the months go both myself and our child would probably die before anything medical could be done.

Because of this (and not wanting to use the Pill because of its destruction of fertilised eggs) I opted for NFP and condoms.

I am unable to rely on NFP alone because of medical problems that do not give a predictable cycle.

Is there somewhere that says that a married couple who find themselves in this situation can use preventative methods to be able to have sex and to avoid death or medical complications that would cause severe impairments to result?

Lou

The Pill does not destroy fertilized eggs; it prevents ovulation so that eggs are not released in the first place.

Non-hormonal solutions: If conception brings with it a threat to the mother’s life, then a permanent sterilization (i.e., tubal ligation for the woman or vasectomy for the man) would be the most effective. If conception would be desirable and medically approved in the future, then a non-hormonal copper IUD (i.e., Paragard) would be most effective. Also available: diaphragms, cervical caps, spermicides, etc.

In order to subscribe to the Church’s teachings on birth control and being open to life, none of these suggestions is condoned. If a woman is willing to risk her life by relying on Natural Family Planning alone, then she should be mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually prepared for the consequences.

Women who suffer from conditions such as PCOS generally opt for hormonal birth control methods, such as the Pill, the patch and the ring. However, the patch contains about 60% more estrogen than is necessary to manage fertility and it dramatically increases the risk of cardiovascular problems that are associated with hormonal birth control. At present, the ring is the lowest-dose combined hormonal birth control method on the market.

Without knowing what your specific medical condition is, it’s difficult for anyone to offer you specific solutions. I, for one, do not believe that God expects women to lay down their lives on the altar of obedience to Church teachings in order to have a satisfying sexual relationship with their husbands.

Speak with your priest. See what he says.

capt

 

[Fergal]

I, for one, do not believe that God expects women to lay down their lives on the altar of obedience to Church teachings in order to have a satisfying sexual relationship with their husbands.

Relativism is alive and well I see.

 

[kage_ar]

I, for one, do not believe that God expects women to lay down their lives on the altar of obedience to Church teachings in order to have a satisfying sexual relationship with their husbands.

capt

In case you did not notice, you have stumbled upon a Catholic forum. The idea here is to present valid, orthodox CATHOLIC teaching (you know, that Church that Jesus founded).

Maybe you thought you were posting on “humanist answers”

 

[captbackfire]

In case you did not notice, you have stumbled upon a Catholic forum. The idea here is to present valid, orthodox CATHOLIC teaching (you know, that Church that Jesus founded).

Maybe you thought you were posting on “humanist answers”

Tick_Tock: For further information regarding your medical situation, or for practical ideas as to how to address the threat presented by your fertility, please meet me on Non-Catholic Religions.

Or, just pray. And pray.

capt

 

[Fergal]

Just a reminder Pope Benedict XVI in October reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church’s condemnation of artificial birth control.

Contraception “means negating the intimate truth of conjugal love, with which the divine gift (of life) is communicated,” the leader of the world’s 1.1 billion Roman Catholics wrote on the 40th anniversary of Humanae Vitae.

You may need to read vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae_en.html

 

[Texas_Roofer]

I have a medical condition where a pregnancy would cause serious medical problems quickly and as the months go both myself and our child would probably die before anything medical could be done.

Because of this (and not wanting to use the Pill because of its destruction of fertilised eggs) I opted for NFP and condoms.

I am unable to rely on NFP alone because of medical problems that do not give a predictable cycle.

Is there somewhere that says that a married couple who find themselves in this situation can use preventative methods to be able to have sex and to avoid death or medical complications that would cause severe impairments to result?

Lou

Depending on the details “therapeutic means” maybe used to control your condition. I would recommend visiting with a couple of Priests and doctors.

*Lawful Therapeutic Means
15. On the other hand, the Church does not consider at all illicit the use of those therapeutic means necessary to cure bodily diseases, even if a foreseeable impediment to procreation should result there from—provided such impediment is not directly intended for any motive whatsoever. (19) *
vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae_en.html

 

[royal_archer]

…Without knowing what your specific medical condition is, it’s difficult for anyone to offer you specific solutions. I, for one, do not believe that God expects women to lay down their lives on the altar of obedience to Church teachings in order to have a satisfying sexual relationship with their husbands…

The church does not call for women to “lay down their lives” but if sexual relations can be fatal she should abstain.

 

[Paul1961]

In case you did not notice, you have stumbled upon a Catholic forum. The idea here is to present valid, orthodox CATHOLIC teaching (you know, that Church that Jesus founded).

Maybe you thought you were posting on “humanist answers”

Actually …NO. These forums are not here “to present valid, orthodox CATHOLIC teaching” I hope your accuracy of church teachings is more accurate than you knowledge of these forums.

"The Catholic Answers Forums (CAF) exists to provide a community for Catholics and non-Catholics of all levels of interest in and/or commitment to the Catholic Church where they may gather on the Internet for discussion in a safe and charitable environment. We do not require that members agree with the Catholic Church in order to participate; only that they remain charitable in their postings.

We provide forums for discussion of various viewpoints within and outside of Christianity; some of the forums that reflect such wide points of view are Traditional Catholicism,…"

 

[captbackfire]

Paul1961:

Your words are diamonds. Thank you.

capt

 

[Fergal]

Actually …NO. These forums are not here “to present valid, orthodox CATHOLIC teaching” I hope your accuracy of church teachings is more accurate than you knowledge of these forums.

"The Catholic Answers Forums (CAF) exists to provide a community for Catholics and non-Catholics of all levels of interest in and/or commitment to the Catholic Church where they may gather on the Internet for discussion in a safe and charitable environment. We do not require that members agree with the Catholic Church in order to participate; only that they remain charitable in their postings.

We provide forums for discussion of various viewpoints within and outside of Christianity; some of the forums that reflect such wide points of view are Traditional Catholicism,…"

I was actually thinking the same things myself.

 

[yellowbicycle]

No forms of artificial birth control are condoned by the church, as others have already stated.
Some folks here already gave you good suggestions, but I might also add looking at the Couple to Couple league’s website for more info on NFP. Also, I know some people who used NFP AND monitored their ovulation using those sticks you can get at the drugstore, just to be sure.
And if the possibility of a pregnancy might kill you, I would just stop having sex. Yeah, I’d hate it, and so would my husband, but I would think a period of time without sex would be better than death, right?
Oh yeah, and I got pregnant on the pill, as have many, many other women I know. Good thing you opted to stay away from those.

And captbackfire - Use of the pill most certainly DOES destroy fertilized eggs, or, more specifically, it makes the uterus an inhospitable environment for a fertilized egg, though it’s primary method of preventing pregnancy is preventing ovulation. It says so right on the packet of information you are given with the pill at the pharmacy.

 

[puzzleannie]

the choice in such a sad circumstance is what it has always been–abstinence, periodic or complete, for as long as the medical condition persists. This is one example of many where married couples may be called for this heroic act of virtue. I know of two couples who abstained from sex for the rest of their their marriage after one spouse contracted polio with dire effects when their children were small, and incidentally expressed their love through the loving care given to the spouse, and humble acceptance of that service, throughout their lives together. Surgery, disability or incapacity on the part of either spouse, not to mention necessary separation because of business travel or military service or other occasions where couples may not enjoy marital intimacy for extended periods of time. As in all things, these circumstances work for the advance in holiness and intimacy of such couples when they cooperate with God’s will for them at these times of life.

 

[kage_ar]

Actually …NO. These forums are not here “to present valid, orthodox CATHOLIC teaching” I hope your accuracy of church teachings is more accurate than you knowledge of these forums.

"The Catholic Answers Forums (CAF) exists to provide a community for Catholics and non-Catholics of all levels of interest in and/or commitment to the Catholic Church where they may gather on the Internet for discussion in a safe and charitable environment. We do not require that members agree with the Catholic Church in order to participate; only that they remain charitable in their postings.

We provide forums for discussion of various viewpoints within and outside of Christianity; some of the forums that reflect such wide points of view are Traditional Catholicism,…"

Did I post a direct quote, or SAY it was a direct quote from the board, no.

There is a little thing called sarcasm - when someone comes on here and encourages people to commit mortal sin, we can either say

1. That is okay, God is a fluffy bunny who does not care if we break his rules.
2. Go to hell, go directly to hell, do not collect $200.
3. Try to phrase using a tongue in cheek or kind of sarcasm that makes a valid point.

I choose 3.

I will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever encourage someone to commit mortal sin.

 

[juniorapologist]

Without knowing what your specific medical condition is, it’s difficult for anyone to offer you specific solutions. I, for one, do not believe that God expects women to lay down their lives on the altar of obedience to Church teachings in order to have a satisfying sexual relationship with their husbands.

Speak with your priest. See what he says.

capt

captbackfire…i would say that God does expect us to follow the teachings of the Church…which is why he (via the Church instituted by Christ) tells us to ABSTAIN when it means protecting the life of your wife. It is the only Church approved solution…period. Finding the answer that ONE WANTS to HEAR by asking your priest does not change the teaching of the Holy Father and the Holy Catholic Church. Please carefully re-consider the advice you are giving here, and please correct me if I mis-understood your answer.

Peace be with you.
J.A.

 

[juniorapologist]

I just found this article from a Vatican Newspaper…please pay careful attention to what the writer says about the way in which the pill acts as an abortifacient.

nationalproliferadio.net/Article.asp?id=1088665&spid=

J.A.

 

[captbackfire]

Women are seen all over the world with intact pregnancies even though they are or have been taking birth control pills. The pill can create a hostile environment for development of an embryo but it does not destroy an existing embryo, despite what is claimed by the study cited, which is translated from German and appears, conveniently, on a pro-life radio website.

The original poster asked questions. I answered them. I offer no apology for having provided information which would not likely be found elsewhere on this forum.

I may not agree with the Catholic viewpoint, but I will not censor available information in an effort to maintain a low profile and keep readers smiling and nodding in agreement. Your original poster is free to follow her faith, abstain from sex for the duration of her marriage, live a life of honorable celibacy in accordance with the tenets of the Roman Catholic faith, or she may seek other solutions to her dilemma. To withhold information when an individual is sincerely seeking the entire truth of the matter is, in my opinion, a sin of omission. The choice is hers. I offer this in charity and not resistance.

capt