Hear, hear. As a married man, I’m neither interested in my wife’s life being endangered nor in her eternal life being endangered. If faced with a situation in which “not using contraception can kill,” I’d choose abstinence over actions that could kill the life of grace. Seems like Christ himself warned us not to fear what can kill the body more than we should fear what can kill the soul.
No, the pill does not directly destroy an embryo, but it can make it impossible for the embryo to implant and when it does, the embryo then dies as a result. This doesn’t always happen, but is a possibility everytime the pill is used.
It’s basically your choice to be “typical” or “perfect”, all it is is a question of discipline. You either stay disciplined and consistent in your observations or you don’t.
Last I checked sexual intercourse was not the only way to express union in a marriage. And sexual tension, although frustrating, is far from fatal.
Oh man, do I feel like I got the short end of the stick with my husband. He loves me dearly, but he’d hit the road in a heartbeat. I’d like to know where all these guys are that would be willing to stay married through celibacy–complete and without other methods of “relief”, even if his wife’s life depended on it.
If you want to know what is left, why don’t you ask an old, married couple (say 75+)?
Is that much of a sacrifice?
I borrow the terms from the studies - it’s not something I arbitrarily made up. “Typical” indicates the occasional failure to employ the method of natural family planning consistently. “Perfect” indicates absolute consistency in employment of said method of NFP.
I doubt a married couple would be required to abstain for 50 years. Once the woman goes through menopause, they could resume relations.
Speak to he scores of faithful spouses, who love each other and support each other through years of illness or poverty, who are separataed by work, war or other duties.Oh man, do I feel like I got the short end of the stick with my husband. He loves me dearly, but he’d hit the road in a heartbeat. I’d like to know where all these guys are that would be willing to stay married through celibacy–complete and without other methods of “relief”, even if his wife’s life depended on it.
I won’t post what I have experienced in both of my (legal) marriages, it’s not something anyone wants to hear, but that type of true-loving husband you describe is more rare than diamonds, even in the church. I’m happy for you all who have such relationships, but it has never happened in my life, nor anyone else I’ve known, so I’m a little disbelieving that such a thing could be realistic. That said, good for you.
That is exactly my point. There are two sets of criteria for success rates in NFP. You can choose your criteria, if you want to be typical and have that success rate, go for it, if you want to be perfect and have that success rate, it’s also your choice. You’re making it sound like NFP is extremely difficult to be “perfect” with and therefore almost everyone who uses it will of no fault of their own fall into the typical category, and that’s not true.
I’m not making it sound like anything. Typical has a failure rate, as does perfect. It is what it is. Don’t shoot the messenger. The information is right there through the link provided by an earlier poster, “choose to love” (post #58):
I would trust it above any other form of birth control, artificial or natural. Of course my first choice would be abstinence. My bone of contention was not with the “message”, but with the indication that “most” people using NFP fall into the “typical” category and therefore the typical success rates are more realistic. Like you said, they are not more realistic, they just are, and it’s your choice how to practice NFP.
M’k. Everyone on the same page now that the use of some chemical contraceptives can result in embryonic death?
Yes, but we also have to consider a couple where a partner may have HIV or the like, and the life-threatening nature of the communicable condition would be life-long.I doubt a married couple would be required to abstain for 50 years. Once the woman goes through menopause, they could resume relations.
It is a heavy cross to bear in a marriage, and couples can’t do it alone. They need God’s grace and help. But the long and short of it is, if a pregnancy could kill me, I wouldn’t want to take ANY chances with ANY birth control that has ANY failure rate.
When you think about it, isn’t it kind of appalling for the husband’s attitude to be, “Honey, that even though there’s a 1%-20% chance that sex may indirectly lead to your death” (depending on type of birth control used and failure rate) “I still want to have sex.” My response would be,
Has anyone noticed that the OP has not posted to this thread since “her” first post? Also some other information on the situation is in the only other post by this poster in another thread.
Not unusual for first-time poster. She came here to get an answer to a specific question. The question was answered within the first few posts as the Catholic teaching on this is crystal clear. Being that this is up close and personal for her and not just an abstract theological discussion on natural family planning and the church’s position on contraception I doubt if she wanted to involved an ongoing debate.