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mangy_dog
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Foster care definitely.
Which is better: kids growing up in a foster home or kids growing up with gay parents?
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Elizabeth502
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Elizabeth502;7483022:
Nevertheless, again what is in an additional special category about homosexuality is the exclusion of a mother or a father in the household. All other things “being equal” (and they’re never “equal,” as I explained earlier), a gay household uniquely excludes one gender as a primary role model.
[paxbsu]
My intent was never to imply you would place a child in a house that did practice beastiality. I asked that question to evoke the repsonse that I anticipated from you. It seems, from reviewing the posts relative to this subject, some (not you necessarily) have fallen victim to “relativism”. Let’s face it, as you said, all things being equal, open homosexual activity is considered by the Catholic Church to be gravely sinful. Can we agree on that?
I apologize for not responding earlier. I was busy “fighting other battles” on CAF and in the world.We can indeed “agree on that.”
I am not advocating relativism with regard to sin, merely realistic policy with regard to the questions in the OP, recognizing that the Catholic Church is not the dictator of social policy outside its own jurisdiction. The example of an acceptable non-heterosexual alternative assumes, in the example I gave, that not only is there no homosexual activity going on at present, there is little likelihood of that happening during the adoptee’s childhood. Again, it would not be ideal, merely – when posiited against a far less healthy environment (such as a toxic foster home) – a more humane choice for the child. But that of course is all theoretical, because such a choice would not surface often, if ever. Mostly, it is couples who seek to adopt. That’s pretty logical given the challenge of parenting, including adoptive parenting. In the case of my gay friend I described, his choice, in being alone, has been to adopt lots of pets!
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Lord_and_Master
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Corki;7444869 [/quote said:
No, most foster parents are not.
I know same sex parents who have children of their own and children whom they have adopted. In every case the same sex parents are more invested in their children’s welfare than what you call “the more traditional male/female family” who rarely have that foster child for more than a year (at most). First off, the damage of being shuffled from one living setting to another is life-long. Constancy is an ESSENTIAL in the life of each child. Foster care settings are rarely “homes” of any description. They’re rest stops. It’s a great source of sadness to read what you write, Corki, knowing personally full well what often happens in foster homes and being shuffled from one place to the next. I will not elaborate. Just use your imagination in the most untoward way.
If you think all foster homes are “loving people” you’re dreadfully mistaken. It’s quite the reverse.
I bear witness to it personally and it’s a fallacy.
A “strong family” is a family with two people who love one another and can share that love with their child or children with an investment of love, trust, nurturing, and loyalty. Every homosexual adult I know came from a heterosexual family. So one can certainly not make the argument that homosexuality is “instructed” in same sex families or that it “rubs off”. Every grown child I know who was raised in a same sex household is heterosexual Same sex commited parents do not have any “agenda” in the desire to raise children other than to see them contributing, responsible, and happy adults.
That you would want foster kids to remain in the system rather than in the loving bosom of a homosexual couple’s family is an affront to those children in dire need. In truth, “most foster parents” are in it for two reasons… the money, and even worse still, to physically abuse those children entrusted to their care. It is PERVASIVE. It’s an invitation for the heterosexual male predator to enslave and be paid for it to boot.
You’re way off the mark on this one.
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The_Old_Medic
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Only people that never spent time in a foster home would recommend one.
I’d a lot rather have had loving gay parents, than foster parents any day. Gay people do NOT teach their children that being Gay is the preferred way of life. They also don’t seduce children (almost all child molesters are heterosexual).
I’d a lot rather have had loving gay parents, than foster parents any day. Gay people do NOT teach their children that being Gay is the preferred way of life. They also don’t seduce children (almost all child molesters are heterosexual).
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Lord_and_Master
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Let’s be very clear here Elizabeth.
A “lifestyle” is living on the French Riviera with Donald Trump’s bankroll.
Only non-homosexual people refer to homosexuality as an “alernitive[sic]” lifestyle (or a “lifestyle” of any description). Homosexuality and heterosexuality are sexual orientations nothing more, nothing less.
“Beastiality” happens as frequently in heterosexual relationships and marriages as more and more heterosexual men demand that service from their female partners. There are no guarantees. I know many homosexual couples who do not practice anal intercourse. It appears to be becomming “all the rage” among heterosexual men with their girlfriends and wives over the last decade or so. It is my understanding that heterosexual pornography is redolent with it (along with a two woman one man sexual situation because it appears to give the heterosexual male more stimulation).
All too often the woman complies to the outrageous “beastiality” demands of her male partner.
In truth the male of our species has a prostate to stimulate. The female, on the other hand, does not. It must be pure agony for a woman to suffer. Again we subject the female sex to more degradation and compliance.
Let’s please not make broad sweeping generalizations. More often than not they’re off the mark.
And who, may I inquire, would inform said child the meaning of the word “beastility”??
That simply is not true.
Do you deny the example provided every single day teaches?
Some do. Unless you can provide statistics and sources to show that ALL homosexual couples are accounted for and do not seduce children, I suggest you refrain from such blankets.
Please provide your source for this.
My experience has shown this is not the case.
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Corki
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Unless you have some statistics to back that up, it is just different perceptions. Yours are not any less or more valid than my own. I know several families that have or had foster placements. All were heading by loving couples. I am sorry that your experience is different.
Why would someone bring foster children into their home if not for good-hearted reasons? It certainly isn’t for the money! What the state pays barely covers food and necessities let alone clothes, school supplies, school fees or any extras.
You are making an apples to oranges comparison. Setting aside that it’s biologically impossible for a same sex couple to have “children of their own”, you are trying to compare the experience of a child adopted by a same sex couple with that of a child “shuffled from one living setting to another”. Obviously stability is a positive factor to be greatly desired. But given equal stability, a household headed by two “parents” of the same sex should be a last resort.
I never said “all”, I said “most”. Again, your experience is obviously different from mine. I only paraphrase what one friend who works for child services told me - only the bad ones make the news and they are a tiny fraction of the homes in the system.
They are instructed by example.
As has been pointed out numerous times in this thread - most children that remain “in the system” are not adoptable. If you want to talk about homosexual vs. heterosexual foster families, those kids are all still “in the system”.
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zachnp
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Gay people seduce children at the same rate as heterosexuals. Please show some statistics to back up this claim.
Study after study has shown that a parent’s sexual orientation has no influence on that of their child’s.
That may be true.
But somehow I do not believe the sexual orientation of the child to be the big concern here.
There are a number of other things.
How about the example of a proper wife/husband relationship that can be followed?
How about respect for morality and church law?
What of the absence of the father/mother in the family?
etc.
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zachnp
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I agree with you that the situation may not be perfect, or ideal, but I believe most gay parents would provide a better moral background for the child than most foster parents. Notice I said most.
Most studies also show that again while it may be ideal for a child to have both a mother and father figure, a children can definitely succeed with two same sex parents.
“With the exception of studies at a few universities with very close connections with conservative Christian denominations (like the Brigham Young University in Provo, UT), essentially all research studies into same-sex parenting reveal that children of these families develop normally. There is some indication that boys are less sexually adventuresome, and that girls are more sexually daring. There are also anecdotal accounts of children having to endure ridicule, taunting and harassment from other youth because of their parents’ sexual orientation.”
In a society that allows abortion on demand, same sex marriage, and encourages promiscuity among its youth, I have to question what exactly they believe normal to be.
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ignatius777
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The BEST situation for children to grow up in is a family with a mother and a father who love one another. As a society we owe it to children to provide for that or support that situation whenever and wherever possible. Before we even consider gay couples for parents we should work on eliminating abortion. To argure that a gay couple could do as good a job as a straight couple in raising a child is hollow when children dont even have a right to life. Lets get our priorities in order
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zachnp
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While I do believe you that abortion is a major problem in our society, I do not think that we encourage promiscuity among youth. Also, same sex marriage isn’t exactly allowed, its illegal in 46 states I believe.
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Friar_David_O.Carm
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But does it influence other aspects of their child’s lives?
If they are Catholic, the Church teaches that these acts the child’s parents are doing are gravely disordered. Does the child believe this or do they become a pick and chose Catholic deciding that, like their parents’ have taught them, that what ever makes them happy is ok regardless of what the Church Teaches?
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gtrenewed
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It is not a linear priority path, it is a parallel priority path.
While your view on best is correct, it does not answer the OP. The reality is that some here have posted personal experience horror stories on foster homes and praises for homosexual parents.
Here is praying that abortion is not the first choice of an unwanted pregnancy and that the extra kids that are given up for adoption as a result find loving adopted homes and that the foster care system works to help and nourish kids until they are adopted.
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Sister_Angel
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Hello there, i think you need to restudy this matter, because youhave ben lied to. NOw i am not saying ALL gays do this but statistics are showing a rise in this happening to kids. Please read. Jesus loves the little children, all Gods children of the world, it is in our place to keep them from harms way.This high rate of molestations by homosexuals is consistent with other studies conducted during the past several decades. Here are just a few studies that show homosexuals molesting children at epidemic rates:
The Los Angeles Times conducted a survey in 1985 of 2,628 adults across the U.S. Of those, 27% of the women and 16% of the men had been sexually molested. Seven percent of the girls and 93% of the men had been molested by adults of the same sex. This means that 40% of child molestations were by homosexuals. (Los Angeles Times, August 25-6, 1985)
In 1984, a Vermont survey of 161 adolescents who were sex offenders found that 35 of them were homosexuals (22%). (Wasserman, J., “Adolescent Sex Offenders—Vermont, 1984” Journal American Medical Association, 1986; 255:181-2)
In 1991, of the 100 child molesters at the Massachusetts Treatment Center for Sexually Dangerous Persons, a third were heterosexual, a third were bisexual, and a third were homosexual. (Dr. Raymond Knight, “Differential Prevalence of Personality Disorders in Rapists and Child Molesters,” Eastern Psychological Association Conference, New York, April 12, 1991)
Drs. Freund and Heasman of the Clark Institute of Psychiatry in Toronto reviewed two studies on child molesters and calculated that 34% and 32% of the sex offenders were homosexual. In cases these doctors had handled, 36% of the molesters were homosexuals. (Freund, K. “Pedophilia and Heterosexuality vs. Homosexuality,” Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 1984; 10:193-200)
From these studies and many more, it is evident that homosexuals molest children at a far greater rate than do their heterosexual counterparts. While they comprise only 1-2% of the population, they are responsible for upwards of a third or more of all sexual molestations of children.
Exposing The Homosexual/Pedophile Link
Homosexuals seldom openly admit that they want to sexually assault children, but their literature and their actions tell another story. In the January 1-8, 2001 issue of The Weekly Standard, author Mary Eberstadt exposed the clear link between homosexual activism and the growing North-American Man- Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) movement. Writing in “’Pedophilia Chic’ Reconsidered: The taboo against sex with children continues to erode,” Eberstadt notes:
The reason why the public is being urged to reconsider boy pedophilia is that this ‘question,’ settled though it may be in the opinions and laws of the rest of the country, is demonstrably not yet settled within certain parts of the gay rights movement. The more that movement has entered the mainstream, the more this ‘question’ has bubbled forth from that previously distant realm in the public square.
Eberstadt notes that the book, Male Inter-Generational Intimacy: Historical, Socio-Psychological, and Legal Perspectives edited by pedophile Edward Brongersma is currently available in the “gay/lesbian” sections of bookstores like Borders. This book, which openly promotes pedophilia, was first published in the Journal of Homosexuality in 1990. The Journal is edited by John DeCecco, a psychologist at San Francisco State University. DeCecco is a board member of the Dutch pedophile journal, Paidika.
The homosexual magazine Guide published a pro-pedophile editorial in its July, 1995 issue. In referring to pedophiles as “prophets” of sexual freedom, the Guide editorialist wrote: “We must listen to our prophets. Instead of fearing being labeled pedophiles, we must proudly proclaim that sex is good, including children’s sexuality. . . . Surrounded by pious moralists with deadening anti-sexual rules, we must be shameless rulebreakers, demonstrating our allegiance to a higher concept of love. We must do it for the children’s sake.”
Parents are correct to be concerned about homosexuals sexually assaulting their children. The Boy Scouts of America, for example, is right to prohibit homosexuals from membership or leadership positions. It is evident from the statistical evidence and news reports of child molestation cases, that homosexuals pose a clear and present danger to children. Our laws and social policies should protect children, not cater to the whims and sexual desires of sexual predators. We must oppose homosexual activism “for the children’s sake.”
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sweetpealover
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I applaud posts from Rascalking and kozlosap ( I hope I spelled the names correctly ) — because they seem to be the only people that actually have any intelligence simply because they can see the whole picture. In my youth I remember spending years going from one foster home after another. My last foster home was with a couple (husband and wife) who made it crystal clear that the only reason I was put in their home was only because of the money they got from the State. I was frequently reminded that I was costing them more than they received. My 18th birthday was 2 days before my high school graduation and was bluntly told that I could stay through HS graduation but I had to be gone the day after (“because they no longer got money for keeping me”). I always had healthy food, a warm place to sleep, no sexual or other abuse, stable (?), no loud arguments or yelling, but I didn’t feel loved ever and was constantly reminded that I didn’t really belong.
I know that the Catholic Church believes that the practice of homosexuality is a grave sin. I was baptised Catholic as an infant thanks to my mother. To this day I am still trying to come to terms with inconsistencies between Catholic teachings and actual events (priest sexual abuse). Thank heaven I was not sexually abused by a priest but rather by family and one foster home.
What I am trying to say is that a heterosexual couple/home does not guarantee that their home will be the ideal place to raise a foster child. The same might be said about a homosexual couple too but there is an increasing number of heterosexual homes that will not accept a foster child into their home . And group homes aren’t much better either. Whatever way this problem decides its outcome I just hope and pray that the decision is best for the child. Peace to everyone.
I know that the Catholic Church believes that the practice of homosexuality is a grave sin. I was baptised Catholic as an infant thanks to my mother. To this day I am still trying to come to terms with inconsistencies between Catholic teachings and actual events (priest sexual abuse). Thank heaven I was not sexually abused by a priest but rather by family and one foster home.
What I am trying to say is that a heterosexual couple/home does not guarantee that their home will be the ideal place to raise a foster child. The same might be said about a homosexual couple too but there is an increasing number of heterosexual homes that will not accept a foster child into their home . And group homes aren’t much better either. Whatever way this problem decides its outcome I just hope and pray that the decision is best for the child. Peace to everyone.
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Eugenius
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This has been an interesting post with a lot of thought-provoking comments. I honestly think the question needs to be considered on a case be case basis. Like it or not there are homosexual parents who are doing an excellent job parenting, and there are heterosexuals who do not, and vice versatile of course. To deny this is just to have your head in the sand.
You are correct, it does not guarantee it.
But the homosexual couple does guarantee that they are not an ideal place to raise a child.
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estesbob
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