Who are those who plead: Don't abandon me

  • Thread starter Thread starter reen12
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Sawman, I can only agree. Me too I have had very bad episodes during which i could have despaired… but something held on to hope. And after i had found back to my Faith again, I became even more like that: believing there is no hopeless case, really.

Through very frightening, dark times when i was afraid i might never feel really happy and free again I held on to hope and faith.
🙂
And looking back i kind of feel I am exactly where i should be in many ways and all the bad experiences actually helped me a) grow, and b) appreciate all the goodness and joy more!

Also I am now somebody who wants to pass that not-giving-up on to other people too. A close friend of mine for example who was struggling with longtime, chronic alcoholism and most everybody was starting to give up on him - and i was the one who kept saying there is no hopeless case - and he made it again. 🙂

(I want to tell this humbly though. It was God, not me.)

Kathrin
 
In thinking about hope, I am reminded of the the poet
Francis Thompson - who lived on the streets of London, in 1885.
Trained toward becoming a physician, he never practiced.
Having been given laudanum, when he was ill, Francis became
addicted. He sold matches and newspapers, and he was now quite ill. He would write his poems on sheets of paper that
partook of the grime surrounding Francis. At one point,
he sent these begrimed sheets to the Catholic publisher, Alfred Meynell.
Meynell went in search of Francis, who had no home, and after finding him,
Meynell and his wife took steps to care for him.
About Him Who never abandons.
From Thompson’s poem The Hound of Heaven.

I fled Him down the nights and down the days
I fled Him down the arches of the years
I fled Him down the labyrinthine
ways of my own mind,
and in the midst of tears I hid from Him,
and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped,
And shot, precipitated,
adown Titanic glooms of chasmèd fears.
…For, though I knew His love Who followèd,
Yet was I sore adread,
Lest - having Him, I must have naught beside…
-Francis Thompson

Francis Thompson 1859-1907

poemhunter.com/i/p/93/6693_b_6574.jpg

reen12
 
Did Francis, cold and spent, sit on a bench, near the river Thames -
limning his inner vision of Jesus, walking the waters again?

…The angels keep their ancient places-
Turn but a stone and start a wing!
'Tis ye, 'tis your estrangèd faces,
That miss the many-splendored thing.

But (when so sad thou canst not sadder)
Cry–and upon thy so sore loss
Shall shine the traffic of Jacob’s ladder
Pitched betwixt Heaven and Charing Cross.

Yea, in the night, my Soul, my daughter,
Cry–clinging to Heaven by the hems;
And lo, Christ walking on the water,
Not of Genesareth, but Thames!
-Francis Thompson

reen12
 
Frances i believed was far beyond the bench sitting.
I think he would have come to the waters edge looking for the connection between where he stood, and what he knew was out there.

He seen the beauty in life, and the beauty of seeing or knowing Christ was walking within reach…almost.

The delema, the soul, the daughter clung to the hems of heaven.
In this i feel he means hope, knowing it was there, but not knowing how to get TO it. What form of portage could he immagine, excepting his tears being the ladder to heaven.

IMHO

Lana
 
Lana, I was astounded by what you wrote.
Far greater insight than my own poor thought.
I read it aloud to Lou, and he thought the same.
The last sentence, in your post, was one of the
most beautiful things I’ve ever read.
Commenting on the words of Francis Thompson, you wrote:

quote: Lana
The delema, the soul, the daughter clung to the hems of heaven.
In this i feel he means hope, knowing it was there, but not knowing how to get TO it. What form of portage could he immagine, excepting his tears being the ladder to heaven.
Click to expand...
“What form of portage could he immagine, excepting his tears being the ladder to heaven.”

Thank you, for sharing your profound understanding
of that which Francis wrote.

reens
 
Oh your welcome reen…it was the entire feeling i had trying to grasp the plan God had, after the funeral of my son. A dark place, you know God is there, but you do not know how to get from where you are, to the wonderment you know is out there.

Yet it took a few days to decode the English wording. This is my crippaling ingredient in expressing myself. Which word means what. Words i get, but their intentions mute my readability.

Then a light goes on…the great Ahhhhhh, now i get it!

Lana
 
quote: Lana
Then a light goes on…the great Ahhhhhh, now i get it!
Click to expand...
You understand far more profoundly than many, Lana,

Do you have any idea of how ‘people of words’ may so easily
miss the point - of a given reality? Facile in speech, many
remain, IMHO, on the rim of reality - having constructed a
bench of words, to sit on. I know any number of people
who can reel off the polysyllabic “definition” of something,
yet know not the experience, of that which they are articulating

Rich in words, they are often poverty-stricken in all else -
having kept reality at bay - through their facility with language.
They seem to know the definiton of most things, yet the
meaning of little. The import of things. It always makes
me sad, listening to such speech. They “box” reality,
within a scaffolding of the poylsyllabic, the more easily
not to have to engage reality.
It’s way to messy and confusing. Better safe at home,
'defining" things. Maybe that’s why Jesus is called the “Word.”
The last word, and the first word. Reality Himself, willing
to engage with us, becoming incarnate.

I think that Jesus understood about words. Matt. 5:37

“When you mean yes, say yes. When you mean no, say no.”

reens
 
I don’t know how many have had the experience of going on without hope.
Where does hope come from when you are hopeless?
What gives substance to resistance without hope?
When you are awakened by those argueing voices again in the dark.
Who demands despair citing my hopelessness?
A darkness on the verge of triumph?
That demon pointing his finger at me!
Wagging that finger!
Raging cause I won’t give in or up.
Even I don’t know why,
Except, he wins, and that’s not right.
I don’t care about my end, cause it’s hopeless.
I’ll not give that demon the satisfaction,
No sir, not from me.
Never.

Was that God giving me a backbone?
Or just plain Mercy?
 
quote: sawman
I don’t know how many have had the experience of going on without hope.
Where does hope come from when you are hopeless?
Click to expand...
One just keeps going on. One foot in front of the other, for years - for decades.

The “how” of going on, is a matter of grace unsought, but given.
The hopeless are wrapped, each day, in the garment of His grace, unknown, unseen.
Which is love.

“And so, there remain faith, hope and charity, but the greatest
of these is charity.”

Hope Himself cradles our heart, so that we can keep on going,
toward the loving Arms that are held out, cruciform.

reen
 
sawman said:
Raging cause I won’t give in or up.
Even I don’t know why,
Except, he wins, and that’s not right.
Click to expand...
I keep trudgeing on, feeling awful, and wondering if i just do this, just do that, i will be happier. But the this or that becomes so far out of reach, and it physically hurts to ponder anymore than making it all stop. Sleep, drink, or worse for some others i know. Just make it stop…or if i just lye here still, it won’t find me.

Then you realize he is laughing at his triumph, and you realize you fell for it once again. The difference is, you will get beyond this WITH God on your side.
t give that demon the satisfaction,
No sir, not from me.
Never.

Was that God giving me a backbone?
Or just plain Mercy?
Click to expand...
BOTH…
 
Dear Rammy,

I didn’t mean to get into such a dark line of thought here.
Sometimes things just remind me of that very dark time in my life and it’s like it happened this morning, it’s so fresh and real.
I sometimes wonder will it ever be shown to me what was the POINT? I don’t know.
I am not there now though.Thanks be to Him!
I hope I was not disturbing to anyone.
 
quote:sawman
I hope I was not disturbing to anyone.
Click to expand...
How can reflecting on being saved be disturbing, good sawman?
Hymns, thoughout time, have reflected on these moments -
with gratitude to God, or gratitude to the Mother of God.

Through many dangers toils and snares,
We have already come,
'Tis grace that brought us safe, thus far,
And grace will lead us home.

youtube.com/watch?v=PHpye0M34JQ

When we’ve been there 10,000 years
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Then when we first begun.

And those who were pulled back, out of any kind of darkness,
will sing with the greatest love of all.

reen
 
reen12 said:
And those who were pulled back, out of any kind of darkness,
will sing with the greatest love of all.

reen
Click to expand...
I totally agree Reen.

Those who have been blessed to just fall totally into His arms and KNOW the depth of His mercy and love are just changed forever. Yes, we’ll still have our moments, but at our very core we know something that cannot be taken away.

And no, sawman, you’re not disturbing anyone. I have certainly reflected on my own dark times here, and the grace and mercy that were shown to me. I personally find it very uplifting when I run across those who have also been lifted from the depths, as it helps affirm that I’m not alone and that this isn’t just some delusion on my part.

Peace,
 
Dear Reen and John,

“The Lord’s Throne is established in heaven,
God’s royal power rules over all.
Bless the Lord all you angels,
Mighty in strength and attentive,
obedient to every command.
Bless the Lord, all you hosts,
ministers who do God’s will.
Bless the Lord, all creatures,
everywhere in God’s domain.
Bless the Lord , oh my soul!”

I bless Him for all his benefits, especialy for freinds that love Him so much!!

When we’ve been there ten thousand years bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing His praise than when we’ve first begun!!

By His greatest Mercy what beauty awaits those who have loved Him!
 
Oh sawman, do not waver one bit, as learning there are more who came to him through a dark place or trial tells me this…

You came by him honestly, and with much to learn and share. Your testimony is our confirmation in being with great company.
Many others might know about him, follow his followers, like a club. But it is the few who know him through trials, that know his heart.

And mercy brought us to his feet.

Lana
 
Dear Rammy,

we have all died before we can be raised with Him.
In baptism we die and are raised to new life.
Sometimes I think we can’t know the death of ourselves without a traumatic experience. It makes it hard to appreciate our new Life. I think for some this is true.

God knows, I’ve needed multiple traumas, to start appreciating how much He wants my attention, really. I’ve finaly, after a very long time, have started to love Him as I did when I was young and innocent. He has freed me from slavery to make me His freind. I know I’m not worthy to sit at His feet but He invites me anyhow.

So Glory be to Him and Thanks to Him and all Blessing be to Him!
 
Sometimes I think we can’t know the death of ourselves without a traumatic experience

Oh sawman, something just turned a light on in my mind differently than it ever has, so for your words, i am truly grateful. I will explain how this occured.

To know life and how it comes to us is a lesson in it’s own. To walk wisely, and learn from others as well as ourselves is a wise act. Some call it wisdome, some call it good stewardship, but i call it dieing to self.

This act transforms us with the most letting go we can muster, and allows us to hand over the wheel to God, and allow him to lead us. “Jesus, i trust in you”…i may not know where this takes me, but i believe you have reason.

In life, these acts have allowed me to learn to let go and place my sadness or anger at the foot of the cross. I have slowly let go of things, and at times i am still reminded because i forget to let go, and when it falls apart, i know it is because i tried to do it alone. Hence the falling apart part.

This is, and always was a great struggle for me. Not in helping others, but for helping myself. My son died 4 years ago, and he lived with great pain and dificulties breathing and walking. Very few knew, because he dealt with it with such grace, and thankfulness. Everything was placed before the Lord, and this is what i taught him…but forgot to do so myself so often.

I half wonder if he was not my example to have learned from…to help me attain what i might from this world to take into the next. No i do not believe that just because i am a grieving mother, that he must be the messenger. However, God placed him before me for a reason, and to be there for him was one thing.

Now to simply take my own advice…as it is more difficult to do so feeling alone. You see, i lost my best friend in him. Now there are fewer and far more between chances in life to find such devotion and honesty towards God. That is what i miss. This kinship to God i had with him.

So to find it elswhere is indeed a blessing.

Lana
 
Dear Lana,
I have no words to express properly my sympathy for your loss.
This I fear would be a burden too great for me to bear.
I can only marvel at your courage and grit.
You are far better than I.
To have faith and trust again after such loss is in itself a miracle.
I am honored that you consider me a freind.
And if my words in any way were a comfort to you thank our Father in heaven.

The Treasure He has for us must be unimaginably great to carry so great a cost.
You know so much better than I.
You can know this to, that no matter what, you can talk to me.
I probobly don’t really have much of value to offer in return, but will always have a sympathetic ear in me.
 
Why thank you sawman, that indeed is a treasure!

The soundest thing i knew from the beginning of time was that God has a plan, nothing is ever placed before us without reason or care. If we egnore it, life will be like skipping classes in school, it will get ahead of us. If we address all, we can see and hear God with us.

My son never went to bed without knowing what Gods intentions or lessons for the day were. even if it took both of us talking untill 2 am. If he did not do this, he was beside himself with pent up feelings, breathing was worse, and he believed that not hideing from God, and faceing life made his health better.

He knew life was this way for a reason. To be hurting or ill meant he had compassion for those ill as well. God teaches through life. It was his gift, to see the hearts of his friends and peers. He taught others to face life, deal, live it to the fullest, and not to waste time. Sieze the day…Carpe Diem!

He was very ill in the end, and said tearfully, “Ma, it is getting hard. If he wants me to be with him, i will go, but if he wants me to be here, he must give me more strength!” He never once wavered from Gods plan or intentions.

So when he died, i never ever wavered that it was his plan, and life for me was to learn from this, and not try and do it alone. Some day he will be in my arms again, and this thought brings me great joy, and why i strive to keep attentive with the state of my soul.

Untill you actually face this sort of thing, you do not realize the strength you have. It would have been easy to pull the covers over my head forever. But the two sets of eyes stareing back at me, his two sisters, helped me move on.

If i did not believe in Gods plan, how angry i might have become, and maybe lost my relationship with God. How awful that might have been. At least he is with his father in heaven, what a loving babysitter he is, or i was…lol…you know what i mean!

Lana
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top