Who is allowed to receive reconciliation?

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Why? I wandered off for 15 years and came back by just going to confession. No problem at all.

Because by Church Law the pastor is responsible for the celebration of the Sacraments in his parish. If that is what your pastor advised you to do then your fine. We are not our own pastors.

 

[Andreas_Hofer]

Look, here’s the deal. The Priest has the authority to give absolution or not. We can go round and round on the matter here in these forums but it won’t change anything. I would encourage your mom to make an appointment with her parish priest to discuss this matter AND give her Confession. A Priest doesn’t only hear Confessions during the established hours, they can hear a Confession whenever there is time (this includes during an appointment). God bless.

He has the authority, but also the obligation. If a Catholic (and this woman is supposedly fully initiated) is properly disposed (i.e. contrite with a firm purpose of amendment, no reserved sins or censures) and makes a reasonable request for absolution (she came during the scheduled time!), the priest is *obliged *to grant it. Now, this is all supposing we have the details right, but you can’t ascertain whether those conditions have been met without actually talking to the penitent. I can understand the priest hearing about fishy marriage and decades away and thinking “this is more complex than I can handle right now,” but that doesn’t justify brusquely turning away a penitent without explaining that reason, let alone making up some spurious claim that the penitent is no longer Catholic (she would have had to formally defect, basically with a written notice to her bishop, for this to be true).

The OP is correct that for someone not operating under some form of canonical censure (like excommunication), all that is required for reconciliation with the Church is sacramental absolution. On that point he was right and the priest was out of line. If any parishes do place other obstacles in the way, no matter how prudent and useful they may be, my guess is that when push comes to shove they could be bypassed. It is not within the priest’s purview to add more burdens than canon law provides for.

 

[Seatuck]

This situation as described does seem very unfortunate and I’d go as far as to say the priest was wrong . He jumped to the conclusion that she was still living in this invalid marriage. She should have been able to recieve absolution under the circumstances as described if she appeared contrite to the priest. People still living in invalid marriages cannot recieve the sacraments under most circumstances. Not Eucharist or confession. We hear a lot of talk on this board about living as brother and sister but it isn’t the universal pastoral instruction. It is difficult for many and often does not work.

I think Bro. Rich made a good suggestion. A planned talk with the pastor of the parish church to iron out some of the details in a less pressured situation than the confessional. He can also discover if there are any other issues that were not disclosed in this thread. Confession may follow such a talk or on a regularly scheduled day.

OP-
Tell your Mom to not give up. God has just allowed her a little obstacle to test her perseverence. She can come through this with his grace.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

He has the authority, but also the obligation. If a Catholic (and this woman is supposedly fully initiated) is properly disposed (i.e. contrite with a firm purpose of amendment, no reserved sins or censures) and makes a reasonable request for absolution (she came during the scheduled time!), the priest is *obliged *to grant it. Now, this is all supposing we have the details right, but you can’t ascertain whether those conditions have been met without actually talking to the penitent. I can understand the priest hearing about fishy marriage and decades away and thinking “this is more complex than I can handle right now,” but that doesn’t justify brusquely turning away a penitent without explaining that reason, let alone making up some spurious claim that the penitent is no longer Catholic (she would have had to formally defect, basically with a written notice to her bishop, for this to be true).

The OP is correct that for someone not operating under some form of canonical censure (like excommunication), all that is required for reconciliation with the Church is sacramental absolution. On that point he was right and the priest was out of line. If any parishes do place other obstacles in the way, no matter how prudent and useful they may be, my guess is that when push comes to shove they could be bypassed. It is not within the priest’s purview to add more burdens than canon law provides for.

The Pastor represents the Bishop in the parish and is the gate to the sacraments, which I agree should not be locked. However we are also not free to climb over the fence when the gate is stuck.

 

[Deacon_Ed_B]

Explain what you mean please, when you say we are not free to climb over the fence.
Deacon Ed B

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Explain what you mean please, when you say we are not free to climb over the fence.
Deacon Ed B

We are not free to determine our own path when legitimate Church authority is exercised, but we do not feel obligated to obey it.

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

I returned to the Church 2 yeras ago after being away for about 30 years. I spoke to the Vicar General of the diocese and asked what I should do. He told me what parish I would need to register in and that I would need to go to Confession.

He was very kind and welcoming. If I had been spoken to like your mother was, I might have never returned to the church and I would have missed out on the joy I have since experienced since my return.

Tell your mother "Welcome Home and God Bless" and as I have read on this forum, the Holy Spirit must be working through her.

 

[Eschato]

You said, and I quote, "before she got into anything
If she hadn’t gotten into anything there would be nothing to discuss.

A Priest is under to obligation to absolve anyone if he feels their confession isn’t a true confession.

Alright, I’ve written two lengthy posts on the issue and you are still stuck on whether my mother is a liar or not. The truthfulness of my mother’s confession is not of issue because it did not happen. The way she puts it, she was nervous, and when she began to speak her voice quivered and the priest stopped the confession and asked her some quick questions before having her leave. My guess is that he didn’t want to hear a long, nervous confession and wanted a way out.

As for you, your statement that if my mother “…hadn’t gotten into anything there would be nothing to discuss” is quite insulting. I’m well aware of the sinful nature of humanity, even if it is my own mother, thank you. I’m well aware that the priest has the right to withhold absolution in cases where he doesn’t feel that the confessor is contrite, but such is not the case here, Sir, as there was only an opening prayer and a dismissal. I don’t know why you are so insistent that my mother is untruthful.

 

[Eschato]

The thing that stands out to me is that the Priest in the Confessional asks the OP’s mom to speak to her Parish Priest.

There is a chance that this was a visiting Priest, maybe a retired Priest, who was on Confessional duty for the day.

There is one hour for Confessions, and his feeling was that this situation may be more complex and nuanced than there was time to handle in the Confessional situation. His thought is that this will be better to if issues are discussed and worked out BEFORE Confession.

I thought it was weird too, but this was a parish that she attends the that priest was one of the parish priests. Furthermore, he was told during the brief discussion that she had already been to confession for the things that he was binding to her, to which he said that she couldn’t receive absolution. The issues that he was stuck on were already forgiven!

 

[Eschato]

Bet you weren’t married outside the Church in the meantime. If you were and the priest absolved you anyway it’s because he didn’t know about your marriage situation and your absolution would be invalid.

Cool. Can you find a reference for me on the Church doctrine that stipulates this fact? This is what I’ve been looking for.

 

[Andreas_Hofer]

The Pastor represents the Bishop in the parish and is the gate to the sacraments, which I agree should not be locked. However we are also not free to climb over the fence when the gate is stuck. . . . We are not free to determine our own path when legitimate Church authority is exercised, but we do not feel obligated to obey it.

That’s the problem - from what we know, he had no legitimate grounds for denying absolution. The Church does not require anything other than absolution for the reconciliation of a lapsed Catholic to the Church - if the priest is trying to put up more barriers to grace, he at least has a duty to explain them, although even then one might not be strictly bound to observe them.

 

[palmas85]

Alright, I’ve written two lengthy posts on the issue and you are still stuck on whether my mother is a liar or not. The truthfulness of my mother’s confession is not of issue because it did not happen. The way she puts it, she was nervous, and when she began to speak her voice quivered and the priest stopped the confession and asked her some quick questions before having her leave. My guess is that he didn’t want to hear a long, nervous confession and wanted a way out.

As for you, your statement that if my mother “…hadn’t gotten into anything there would be nothing to discuss” is quite insulting. I’m well aware of the sinful nature of humanity, even if it is my own mother, thank you. I’m well aware that the priest has the right to withhold absolution in cases where he doesn’t feel that the confessor is contrite, but such is not the case here, Sir, as there was only an opening prayer and a dismissal. I don’t know why you are so insistent that my mother is untruthful.

I have to go with what you wrote. What you wrote did not ring true. It still doesn’t.

 

[Eschato]

I have to go with what you wrote. What you wrote did not ring true. It still doesn’t.

I asked a question and you called me a liar for no reason other than your misreading of my message. When I expounded on the incident, and showed you where you misread you only went further into your accusations. Do you think that I’m trying to impress anyone on here? Do you think that I have some vendetta against a priest? A priest whom I have, and will continue to be, left anonymous, I might add. I honestly have nothing to gain by making up such a story, nor does my mother. In all honesty, we have everything to lose by telling it. My Mom is one child of twelve. All of them lapsed Catholics. My mother and her sister are the only two that attend Catholic Church. If she made up the story, it would really hurt our chances of bringing anyone from my family back into the Church.

I don’t even know why I wrote this. It’s obviously no use trying to convince you of anything. You’ve already made up your mind based on your misreading of my original message, and your poorly grounded inferences. Every time I try to explain myself in a more clear fashion, you pass that same useless judgement on my family. I propose that the next time someone tells you a situation of theirs and asks you for advice or more information regarding the outcome of that situation, that you don’t pass judgement on them but instead offer the advice. Whether it is a lie, the truth, or a proposed scenario really isn’t for you to judge. Though, if you feel obliged to, you may offer your help next time.