Maggie, thank you, coming from you, that makes me feel very honored. So much so, I may have to initiate ego deflation exercises.
I have a couple of ways to express the intimate character of Mary’s relationship to Christ and how it’s intimacy inherently applies to her participation in His salvific work that may be of use to you.
The one already explained relates to her participation in the act of creation with the Word’s particiapation with the Father.
Another relates to her participation in the divine bond through her maternal bond with the Word. It’s a bit more lengthy than the first but that may be due to inflated egoitis and I aplogize for that.
This way of conceptualizing Mary’s role is dependent on the understanding of how bonds between persons are the structural supports of Heaven.
It’s the nature of the bond between persons and the tension, if any, with the perception of that bond that make relations function of disfunction. There is a place called heaven because there are persons who’s relationships are lived in accordance with the proper order of the bond between them.
The Creator’s relationship with the Word functions properly within the order inherent in a bond between father and son. Spiritual bonds exclude gender so the order of the parental bond between the Father and Son is no different than the order of the parental bond between Mary and Jesus. The order is the same between fathers of persons and mothers of persons in that it’s order is parental.
There is a difference in dignity between the bonds of divine persons and the bonds between human persons, but in Jesus their dignity is equalized. The wedding at Cana demostrates that. Revealing the dignity of Mary’s maternal bond was at the heart of Jesus’s comment " Woman what has this to do with you and I?" Somehow I can imagine what her face expressed. It surely reminded Him of the proper order of and perhaps questioned the dignity of their bond. In lay terms it said " Cuz I’m your Mother! Does that change because you are divine?" I don’t believe Jesus said this out of his need for the answer or to test His mothers understanding or authority, I think He was acting out of His Love for her by making sure that the dignity of her bond with Him as mother was recognized as one that shared equally in the dignity of His bond with his divine Father. She was making managerial decision here. The management of which was quite exclusive, that of the Father’s plan.
It puts the warmest feeling in my heart of the Love between family members I can imagine when the Divine Father and Son treat Mary this way. That warmth can be felt because and only because she is my mother too.
So that demonstrates how parental bond between persons transcend gender and nature in dignity. Mary is the only human who shares a bond with the Trinity equal in dignity with the bond between the Persons of the Trinity. This is the metaphysical cause of her function as dispenser of all Graces.
When Christ made her our mother he shared that bond with it’s divine dignity through Mary to the rest of man. That parental bond is the metapysical conduit of Grace to mankind. This also explains how bonds between persons are the structural supports of heaven and why Mary is called Queen of Heaven.