When I think of penance and I watch what other people write and say about it, I always think about three of my friends, Francis of Assisi, Teresa of Avila and Maximilian Kolbe. The three were known for living lives of penance.
What strikes me is the way that they wrote about it and spoke about it, compared to how we do it. We tend to be almost pious and gloomy in our manner of talking about penance. At times, we give the impression that penance is something that is very harsh and almost unendurable. At other times, we appear to sit before the cross drooling just to be like the Suffering Servant. Neither of which the mystics subscribed to.
Then I go back to my friends, Francis, Teresa and Max. When they write about penance, it’s very practical, almost cold, and very matter of fact, as if they were writing about the weather. I remember paying special attention to this when I was working on my dissertation. The tone said as much, maybe more, than their words. What I found was that sacrifices of any kind were part of daily life. They didn’t see it as anything out of the ordinary. That’s why they often sounded cold.
It’s not the same cold as indifference. It’s the kind of cold that comes with familiarity. Just as I don’t get mushy or passionate because it’s raining, snowing or the sun is shining, **because these are normal occurrences of life, these holy people did not get sentimental (that’s a good word) about sacrifice. That was as normal as rain, snow and sunshine. I discovered that they did it as routine. They fasted, abstained, used the discipline, put up with nonsense and silly people, and made little and big sacrifices. It was all out of love. In their mind, there was nothing to be sentimental about. ** That really impressed me. When I realized that the reason they
were so matter-of-fact about it, was because they could not conceive a life without love, I was truly humbled. I realized, that this is the goal, to reach a point when one can’t imagine a life without loving. When one lives that way, there is nothing that one won’t do for the sake of love, be it love of neighbor or love of God. After a while, they blend into one.
I will never forget what Teresa of Avila said about overly pious people. “God preserve me from sour faced saints.” Francis said something similar. He called it perfect joy to have to put up with hardships. There was no room for straight faces in his world either. St. Max once told the brothers that if they did not laugh, they could not love. ** He always said that even in the most sacred, there was some humor, because God is eternally happy. ** He lived and died by this rule.
The day that he was going to be executed, the doctor and other guards entered the starvation bunker where he was being held. They thought they were going to have to hold him down to give him a lethal injection. Instead, they found that Max has spend weeks without food and water,
but was smiling. When he saw the syringe, he looked at the doctor and asked him if he had a family. The doctor said that he did. Maximilian answered, “Tell them that Brother Maximilian loves them.” He offered up his arm, smiled and invoked Mary’s name. In less than one minute, he was dead,
but with a smile.
From where I sit, penance is tough, but there is joy in it, not pious gloominess.
Fraternally,
Br. JR, OSF
have you been in my house?