Why are gays adopting a bad thing?

[estesbob]

Will you tell your daughter this or will you hide your true feelings? Will you tell your grandson how you really feel or will you hide it?

She know my feeding and she respects them I have a great 'relationship with her and her partner. The idea that I would criticise my grandchikds “parents” to them is absurd.

 

[987mk]

She know my feeding and she respects them I have a great 'relationship with her and her partner. The idea that I would criticise my grandchikds “parents” to them is absurd.

A shame they’ll never know the “real” you.

 

[nodito]

A shame they’ll never know the “real” you.

Serious? You think it more noble for a grandparent to criticize the choices of a child’s parents in front of that child?

 

[Ph0enix]

Yes. No one will give you that answer straight, but yes. The answer is yes.

I think it comes down to this: As long as the child is in the foster system, or an orphanage, or is living in a cardboard box, there is a chance that a married heterosexual couple will adopt him or her. The heterosexual couple will not be able to adopt the child if the homosexual couple does it first.

You also have to recognize that the Church regards the placement of a child in a gay household is the equivalent of physical or sexual abuse. So no matter what happens in the “homeless” situation, the child is no worse off than if he were in a gay household. Rape = exposing a child to the realization that some men have sex with each other and think it’s o.k.

I am baffled

you would rather have kids living in a cardboard box in the street in poverty rather than have gay parents? Even if you are against gay adoption that still is a false claim to say its better for a kid to be homeless

 

[on_the_hill]

A shame they’ll never know the “real” you.

Why? What’s “real”?
If estesbob were to tell the kid–what purpose would that serve other than to hurt everyone’s relationship with everyone?

I don’t know if you have kids, but there are a lot of things a parent doesn’t reveal to his or her children. Or grandchildren as the case may be.

 

[on_the_hill]

I am baffled

you would rather have kids living in a cardboard box in the street in poverty rather than have gay parents? Even if you are against gay adoption that still is a false claim to say its better for a kid to be homeless

That’s pretty much what the answer is. I don’t agree with it.

 

[Mayita30]

I have seen many posts(before registration) saying gay adoption is wrong but what is the parents(abstaining from sex) taught how traditional marriage worked(and explained that homosexual sex is bad) What if the adoption agency was abusive and the gay parents would make good parents.

IMO if they make good parents they should be able to adopt, regardless of sexuality.

**It is wrong because
ALL Children have every right to have a Father and a Mother
**

 

[estesbob]

A shame they’ll never know the “real” you.

They know the real me. And hopefully the fact that I did not abandon my faith to embrace their lifestyle will someday lead them back to God.

 

[estesbob]

That’s pretty much what the answer is. I don’t agree with it.

Again the fact that some parentless children might end up in a terrible situation does not justify placing them in a terrible situation .

 

[styrgwillidar]

Will you tell your daughter this or will you hide your true feelings? Will you tell your grandson how you really feel or will you hide it?

Preach the gospel always, when necessary use words.
(Can’t remember which saint that’s normally attributed to…)

Kids are actually pretty smart and are more easily able to separate words from actions. What people claim, and what they actually do. They will know their grandparents and their values by observing their actions, how they comport themselves and deal with others, and how they actually live the values they espouse. The grandkids will either be attracted to that way of life, faith and set of values, or not. But they’ll understand it and how it contributes to who their grandparents choose to be by the way they see it being lived out in front of them.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

They know the real me. And hopefully the fact that I did not abandon my faith to embrace their lifestyle will someday lead them back to God.

This is exactly right! I look up to you as an example of how to live the faith in real life circumstances without compromising what is true and good and right.

Bless you for your fidelity and example.

 

[987mk]

Serious? You think it more noble for a grandparent to criticize the choices of a child’s parents in front of that child?

Lying is lying even when done through omission. Unless withholding the truth is considered being truthful.

 

[987mk]

They know the real me. And hopefully the fact that I did not abandon my faith to embrace their lifestyle will someday lead them back to God.

They don’t know the real you.

They’ll never know the real you if you insist on hiding how you really feel about the situation they are being raised in.

How on earth could you claim otherwise?

 

[on_the_hill]

They don’t know the real you.

They’ll never know the real you if you insist on hiding how you really feel about the situation they are being raised in.

How on earth could you claim otherwise?

But what if he withholds the truth for now and tells later? Is it still a “lie” if he tells the grandchild 30 years from now?

 

[EasterJoy]

Preach the gospel always, when necessary use words.
(Can’t remember which saint that’s normally attributed to…)

St. Francis, but he didn’t actually say that. He did, however, say things like this:

*“It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.”

“…As for me, I desire this privilege from the Lord, that never may I have any privilege from man, except to do reverence to all, and to convert the world by obedience to the Holy Rule rather by example than by word.”*

St. Francis preached by the use of words–oh yes, he did! Like his namesake, our Holy Father, however, he took it to heart that words that do not match actions were worse than no words at all. His actions taken alone, however, were sometimes misconstrued. He did use words to correct those who were in error about the meaning of how he lived and what he did.

 

[nodito]

Lying is lying even when done through omission. Unless withholding the truth is considered being truthful.

I’m not seeing what you’re seeing. I don’t see him lying at all by being civil to his grandchild’s parents or by loving the child.

Do you have kids? Would you tell a 4 year old specific, graphic details about sex? Why not? Would you not be lying by omission if you decided the child had no need to know those details?

 

[RACJ]

I was raised in a Catholic home. I was taught that the truth was the truth and that sin was never a "right " This was reinforcing my years in the seminary in mind active involvement in the church since then . . It is probable that sometime in the next year my homosexual daughter and her partner( married in the eyes of the government) are going to adopt . I will make every effort to be the best grandfather I can and try to make up for the fact that they will not have a father . But it will not be an ideal situation for the Child and as much as I like grandkids it simply is not right

Bob, my daughter is a single mom, and NO, her situation is NOT better than if her DD had a mom and dad. I agree with you. That boy deserves a dad! As a grandparent, I absolutely cannot replace a real father. She is 10 now, and several times she has stated that she wished she had a dad. Not a second mom, but a DAD!

 

[on_the_hill]

God bless you, but with all Christian charity the way this is phrased is untrue and a TRAP.

I’ll agree that my use of “cardboard box” was hyperbole, but I would expect people to recognize that. Evidently people haven’t.

As for being a “trap,” if one refuses to accept that there are homeless children, then one would be willing to pretend that such a scenario as homelessness doesn’t occur for children.

There are thousands of loving heterosexual couples willing to adopt but most people already know that.

Well, we needed 23,493 more loving heterosexual couples in 2014, because that’s how many kids aged out of the system without finding a permanent family.

Of those who aged out, 25 percent will experience PTSD, 71 percent of the young women will be pregnant by age 21, fewer than 3 percent will earn a college degree, only 50 percent will be employed at age 24, and 20 percent will be homeless at some point.

So, can we look at those 23,493 young people and say, “We took the gamble that you’d land a mother and a father, and it didn’t pay off. Good luck with the rest of your life.” ?

 

[estesbob]

I’m not seeing what you’re seeing. I don’t see him lying at all by being civil to his grandchild’s parents or by loving the child.

Do you have kids? Would you tell a 4 year old specific, graphic details about sex? Why not? Would you not be lying by omission if you decided the child had no need to know those details?

Anyone who thinks it is proper to criticize your children to their children either has no grandkids or has no relationship with their children

 

[UbiCaritas]

I’ll agree that my use of “cardboard box” was hyperbole, but I would expect people to recognize that. Evidently people haven’t.

As for being a “trap,” if one refuses to accept that there are homeless children, then one would be willing to pretend that such a scenario as homelessness doesn’t occur for children.

Well, we needed 23,493 more loving heterosexual couples in 2014, because that’s how many kids aged out of the system without finding a permanent family.

Of those who aged out, 25 percent will experience PTSD, 71 percent of the young women will be pregnant by age 21, fewer than 3 percent will earn a college degree, only 50 percent will be employed at age 24, and 20 percent will be homeless at some point.

So, can we look at those 23,493 young people and say, “We took the gamble that you’d land a mother and a father, and it didn’t pay off. Good luck with the rest of your life.” ?

Part of the issue with the US public foster/adoption system is that it is, in many states, expensive, invasive, and time-consuming. While I don’t have figures on this, I’d also say that a fair number of the kids you mentioned may not have been available for adoption per se, only as foster care. And therein lies a serious problem.

You see, if DH and I couldn’t have kids for one reason or another, we’d definitely consider foster care for kids who might at some point be eligible for adoption. However, with a kid of our own and, God willing, more in the future, this raises serious concerns. How, for example, will our own kid react when she gets to know a new “sibling,” bonds with them, loves them…and then has them removed from her home, perhaps never to see them again? And then wash, rinse, repeat with other kids? Or, in the case of fostering a kid and then having other kids, whether biological or adopted–how do you tell a kid who has had this older “sibling” there all their life that they’ll never see the sibling again?

That can create some serious attachment issues with your own kids (“if Tommy left and is never coming back, could mommy and daddy/the social worker make me go away and never see mommy and daddy again, too?”), and is it fair to them to put them through it?

Then with older kids who are eligible for adoption–how do you make sure your own kids are safe when this terribly-hurting child joins the family? The child could have been sexually abused, and could practice what’s happened to him or her on the other kids in the home. False accusations of a non-abuser aren’t uncommon from a sexually-abused child because of their horrible past. That puts you in a nasty position: do you invite a kid with that background into your home, knowing that things could turn out well, but worst-case scenario you have to choose between your husband and your children because CPS has decided that he can’t have access to kids for an undetermined length of time while they investigate?

Then there are the interviews with your family before you can adopt. You may well get an excellent social worker with plenty of common sense; friends have spoken highly of working with such professionals.

Or…you can get the kind who, as happened with some other friends, said if she couldn’t ask the elementary-school-aged biological children sexual abuse questions without a parent present (“Does Daddy ever touch you there?”) with no evidence whatsoever of sexual abuse having ever occurred that she’d get the police involved and have the kids removed under suspicion of abuse.

It can be an absolute nightmare.