Why are people becoming increasingly against forming loving monogamous relationships?

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Tv shows like 2 -1/2 men. The drew Cary show. Grace. Under fire. Jerry signfield. Show all teach us options.
We didn’t know it was propaganda.
 
Pride.

I think most people want companionship & love. But very few people tend to want sacrifice or see any value to themselves in laying down their life for someone.

In many ways, marriage has become overly romanticized to an unattainable level. Meanwhile very few people understand what the Catholic definition of marriage is.

Vocations are about who you serve. They’re about imitating Christ. They’re sanctifying. They’re not primarily about what you get or how good it feels.

I think a lot of people get married and expect their spouse to be more like a puppy than a broken human being who they serve in some way literally no matter what.

Most people don’t expect their kids to serve them or they leave, but they don’t take this same commitment to their spouse. They get married with preconditions in their mind which really isn’t a valid marriage.

Not to say marriage isn’t also often beautiful and fun and sweet (like parenthood)… But those are perks.
 
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People of all backgrounds are widely in support of the idea of a loving, monogamous relationship but they don’t have the resolution to see it through.
 
That’s what I hope to do, I’m not particularly looking at the moment and i’m fine with getting married a little later. Not TOO late, but not too soon neither.
 
To the OP. You’d have a better argument if it had more details. Including why people have gradually gone in this direction. There are a number of documented reasons spanning about 50 years.
 
Having been married 53 years (and cared for my wife with Alzheimer’s for the last 7) I think I can say a bit about marriage.

First of all, most problems in marriage are due to selfishness, the inability of the partners to give themselves fully. Selfish people tend to be myopic, they see whatever their current problem is as huge and lose perspective. It helps to think about what a REAL problem looks like – violence, drugs or alcoholism, and then look down at your current problem and it will have shrunk so small you can’t see it anymore.

Discipline yourself to praise you spouse and control your desire to gripe, criticize nag and complain.

Thank your spouse – periodically, you should get down on your knees and thank your spouse for everything he or she does.
 
Leftists and the Big media (same thing) are actively against morality. They advance moral relativism (everything is ok, as long as you say you believe it is ok). Big tech classifies good morality speech “hate speech”, and it is often banned or blocked. (example: twitter would not let LiveAction.org purchase pro-life ads on twitter. This despite the fact that Planned Parenthood bought ads. Also, many of Dennis Prager’s awesone youtube videos are grouped together with porn as "inappropriate for those under age 18.)
 
I mostly agree with you here. I also think expectations play a significant role…the more you expect your spouse to be some ideal formed in your mind of what they SHOULD be, you are setting the relationship up for failure. Certainly, you have an expectation of faithfulness but if one expects adoration and perfect love all the time? Well, it just doesn’t work that way.

I knew that I wouldn’t have passionate feelings all the time. I’d have days…and so would he…where we just tolerated each other. Since I know I can be annoying at times, I assumed he would be, too. Since I can have lazy days, I assumed he would, too. Our friendship got us through the days where we didn’t seem to like each other very much and learning to accept that there will be times where we will have to agree to disagree and drop the argument was invaluable.

A relationship is always a work in progress. It’s not always a 50/50. Some days it’s 90/10 and some days it’s 10/90. And it isn’t a competition for who gets what, who cleaned what, or who is enjoying themselves more. If my husband is making less effort then he needs to make less effort. I’m ok with that. Of course it shouldn’t be that way at all times, it’s just that everyone goes through periods where they are the needy one and I’m happy to fulfill the needs as best I can and vice versa.

There may come a day where one of us cannot meet any of the needs of the other (Alzheimer’s is a perfect example) and trust that it’s ok to be that needy. Love fills in the gaps.
 
People are becoming more isolated in general, turning to the internet for companionship and less willing to risk getting hurt.

Also, people’s social skills aren’t as good as they used to be.
 
I think the key is not what you expect of your spouse, but what you expect of yourself. Set standards for yourself, and live up to them. Neither I nor my wife are able to live up to them all the time, but we try, and that has been enough.

The secret of happiness is GIVING love, and that is what sustains a marriage through the most difficult times. At the worst times, you learn to stop and think, “This woman (or man) is the love of my life.”
 
Yeah, try organizing a picnic or get together and see how few people show up. It wasn’t this bad 20 years ago and it certainly wasn’t this bad 50 years ago.
 
Because it’s hard and requires commitment. When society doesn’t exert the pressure that it used to to “figure it out” it’s much easier to just give up when the going gets tough. The fact that an ever-increasing proportion of young people have seen their parents fail at marriage doesn’t help.
 
Its a social change more and more people consider themselves individuals and don’t relate themselves to any ethnic group or religion anymore. Multiculturalism is pushing society in that direction which should be expected as society evolves . I believe the subject is part of this change in how people are now starting to see themselves. Individualism is on the climb. There has never been so many unmarried adults in history society is changing.
 
I agree that it’s your own expectations that are primary to you but there also has to be clear expectations between each other. Both have to lower their expectations many times in any relationship and both need to realize that they are doing so. It will not work…or not work very well…if only one side is doing this. 😁
 
You must ADJUST your expectations, and swallow your selfish desires. You must realize that a happy marriage is more important than a dented fender or finding the toilet seat up. You must understand you don’t have to win every argument, even when you’re right.

You have to learn to put your spouse FIRST, ahead of everything else.
 
Funny story. When I was in Singapore, an Olympic hammer-thrower used to go to the golf course early every morning to practice. One morning, he was using the toilet afterwards and a python came up through the plumbing and bit him. Made the front page of the “Straits Times.” We had that page up on the wall in our office.

As we were winding down the contract, we closed out an apartment where a female employee had been living. And there was an article in the “Straits Times” that snakes had been found in the plumbing of that apartment – with pictures! We naturally sent the lady a copy. 🙂

A lady living in that building told a reporter, “I used to go into the bathroom and sit down. Now I turn on the lights and check for bubbles.”

But a spokesperson for the Ministry of the Environment assured everyone all the snakes had been cleared out.

The spokesperson’s name was Goh Pi Ing. 🙂
 
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