Why are so many cradle Catholics leaving the Church?

[Joannm]

I think it is simply the times we live in. Formal religion does not hold the same importance as it once did. People are now “spiritual” and they can find their spirituality almost anywhere now. Just Google spirituality and see how many hits you get and the weird kinds of spirituality there is around there. You don’t even have to believe in a god to be spiritual. Also the lure of consumerism. Catholicsm is radical and flies in the face of the modern concept of “making it big” in the world.

We are noticing a tremendous decrease in the number of Catholic familes who are having their children baptized and a decrease in other sacraments as well. Many couples are no longer being married in the Church. Even church funerals are decreasing in favor of simple prayers at the funeral home. It is apathy toward anything organized with regard to religion.

 

[HappyPerson]

Could the fact that American school children are taught to value the concept of democracy hurt their view of the Church?

Democracy says that the people can vote for their leaders, based on who they feel will pass the laws that they most approve of.

The Catholic Church, on the other hand, has leaders appointed from above, and assigned to parishes. The rules are made with the authority of God, and NOT based on the popular vote of the people. This, however, is a superior concept, because God knows what is best for us, even more than we do, and makes those rules in accordance with our best interests.

 

[ktog29]

I definitely agree that it is lack of education about what the Church teaches. I grew up in a liberal California parish…didn’t even know the Church taught the Real Presence in the Eucharist until 3 years ago (and I made all my Sacraments growing up AND went to a Jesuit university). Our Confirmation Prep included watching the Velveteen Rabbit and learning about becoming real (this was a year’s worth of prep). Our high school youth group was led by a Jewish woman (who was very nice) and included guided meditation and dream interpretation. Looking back, my parents are appalled at what we did (or didn’t) learn.

My peers who have left the Church don’t have any idea what they left behind. I had to SEARCH to find the Truth in the Catholic Church. There were no Catholics trying to convert me or share the Truth of the faith with me. It was only after being cornered by several wonderful, well-intentioned Baptists that I began to learn more.

I also agree with the welcoming, community feel of many Protestant Churches…our current parish (I’ve been a member of 10 parishes as dh is Navy and we move a lot) is the first one I’ve attended that even approximates the feel of a Protestant community. Now, I know that’s not why we go to Church but it sure makes one feel a lot more welcome!

 

[therese_lisieux_1]

Hello. I would like to offer my experience here. I just went thru the RCIA last year but wasn’t confirmed b/c I’m waiting for my annulment to go thru. I invited my fiance to come with me to the classes b/c I tho’t he might be interested to know about his faith. But, he tho’t he already knew it all b/c he was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school so at first he wouldn’t go. However, when I would tell him about what was said in class, he didn’t know much of that info and decided to come with me and actually enjoyed it. In fact, it was funny b/c he was so out of touch with what his own beliefs were that we got into many discussions and debates.
At the parish that I attended RCIA, there aren’t many ways for the 20’s-30’s crowd to connect if you’re not married with children. I think there is an age gap and relationship status gap that is being overlooked here. However, there is another parish in my metro area that has a Young Professionals group of singles and marrieds in that age group. They appear to get together for social and charity and even Bible study events. This is much like the church I grew up in.
I think it is important to have the opportunity to learn and study with others and give your time to charity with others your own age. I wish the parish close to me had these opportunities b/c I think it’s important to build relationships with others in the Church - otherwise, there is no one to help keep you accountable or learn from or build ties with.
I do agree also that age does depend on attendance. When I was a teenager and even as a young adult, I didn’t go to church much b/c I started to exercise my independence and see what it felt like to decide not to get up and go on Sunday morning. I think also that young adults get really busy with their careers and so forth that they feel they have other things they need to do or may be exhausted from work and any other obligations that aren’t church-related. The business world has become such that working until you sacrifice everything else - God, family, health - has become what is normal, acceptable, and even “good.”
These are just my opinions having been there and done that.
However, b/c my parents faithfully took me to church 3 times a week as a child, I have not fully departed from their instruction and example, and I enjoy and appreciate worshipping. I feel my relationship with the Lord is only deepening the older I become. I am 35. Ultimately, I enjoy going to Church b/c there I"m meeting the Lord and spending quality time with Him in His house.

 

[lizaanne]

I can’t vote because what I feel is the core issue is not an option.

They were not properly taught their Faith. If they knew what the Truth really is and what it means to their lives, and what our end goal really is, then they would have never left to begin with.

It is the fault of decades of wishy-washy catechesis that has pushed people out of the Church. They can’t love what they don’t know, and they can’t know it if they were only taught that “God is love and glitter is sticky”.

~Liza

 

[HappyPerson]

I can’t vote because what I feel is the core issue is not an option.

They were not properly taught their Faith. If they knew what the Truth really is and what it means to their lives, and what our end goal really is, then they would have never left to begin with.

It is the fault of decades of wishy-washy catechesis that has pushed people out of the Church. They can’t love what they don’t know, and they can’t know it if they were only taught that “God is love and glitter is sticky”.

~Liza

Hmm. I agree. Perhaps I should have been LESS specific on the poll. I gave three examples of elements of what is (in my opinion)poor catechesis: The Eucharist being more highly stressed than the significance of Jesus, The Church getting more stress than God, and the small t. traditions (ie. Don’t eat meat on lenten Fridays) getting more stress than loving God with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength, and loving our neighbor as ourselves.
Perhaps, “poor catechesis” should have been an option in and of itself.

Whether they were even properly taught that God is love is questionable, too.

 

[AnotherChance]

The Catholic church seems to lack a family atmosphere present in some of the other christian denominations. I’ve been going to the same church for two years and the same mass yet not one person has said hello or welcomed me. Yes, I’ve tried to say hello an initiate something on my own end as well and met with a puzzled stare. Like why are you saying hello to me I don’t know you. I find this attitude prevelent in the catholic church.

I agree that this non-welcoming attitude is there. I see it at our Church. However, I actually prefer it to the overly-friendly sappiness that I used to sometimes find at Protestant churches. A middle way would be nice also. Our small town parish is very closed to newcomers. I probably will end up going to Church in the larger town near us where people are a bit more friendly.

Regarding the issue of cradle Catholics falling away: My daughter entered Catholic School in junior high when our family decided to return to the Catholic church. Everyone else in her class had been there since kindergarten. When it came time for high school, my daughter was the only one who chose to go to a Catholic high school. So I found it interesting that the cradle Catholics went to the public school, while the convert went to the Catholic high school. All of the students had daily religious education for 9 years. I believe that it was more of a case of the cradle Catholics thinking they were missing out on something (and their parents giving in), whereas my daughter already knew the public schools were a disaster.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Could the fact that American school children are taught to value the concept of democracy hurt their view of the Church?

Democracy says that the people can vote for their leaders, based on who they feel will pass the laws that they most approve of.

The Catholic Church, on the other hand, has leaders appointed from above, and assigned to parishes. The rules are made with the authority of God, and NOT based on the popular vote of the people. This, however, is a superior concept, because God knows what is best for us, even more than we do, and makes those rules in accordance with our best interests.

I don’t think that argument holds a single drop of water.

 

[maklavan]

This is a fascinating poll, with every alternative containing some truth. Put them all together and you may be close to the truth. The bottom line is that millions of Catholics have left, or are leaving the Church. They may regard themselves as Catholics, and probably have little statue of Our Lady in the house or car but, to all intents and purposes, they are pagans. Worse, their children are being brought up as pagans, and their grandchildren also. This is not a problem for the Church in the USA only. In France,Portugal, Italy England and even Ireland, church attendance has fallen to record lows, sometimes below 5%

Looking for causes is not really fruitful. we need to be looking for solutions.

 

[nice2000]

Several generations of American children have been leaving the Catholic Church, now, when they get older, and many who are staying don’t know their faith. Something SEEMS to be seriously wrong with the way the message of Jesus Christ and His Church is being portrayed to the children, by the Church. I started this poll to get ideas of what we can do, as a Church to keep people here, and NOT to criticize the Church. CONSTRUCTIVE feedback would be grately appreciated.

They fail to see how the Church is benefitting them in life.

 

[HappyPerson]

Looking for causes is not really fruitful. we need to be looking for solutions.

The idea is that solutions can be acquired by correcting the causes.

For example, if smoking causes lung cancer, future lung cancer can be reduced by preventing people from smoking. That’s the idea.

 

[thenewmrssears]

I wanted to respond as a “Cradle Catholic” at the age of 24.

When I was in high school, I felt that the Catholic Church “left me out.” Even though I was in a Catholic high school, there were no youth groups available, no Bible studies, no book groups that my Protestant friends had. I always felt that the Catholic Church wasn’t very good at keeping teenagers interested. My Protestant friends seemed much more involved in their Church than I ever was.

I still went to Church every Sunday, did my individual study with my mom, continued to pray regularly, but I still felt uninvolved. Luckily, my parents are amazing Catholic role models who showed us daily the importance of the Catholic faith.

When I got to college (Lutheran) I participated in a lot of non-denominational groups: Bible studies, YoungLife, etc.

After college, when I moved to Atlanta, I found a great parish with an amazing Young Adult group. I don’t get to be involved as much as I would like, because I travel so much for work, however I have had some great experiences! I teach Sunday School, go to Theology on Tap, late Church when my schedule permits…

I always thought that the Catholic Church didn’t do a good job of keeping the teens around after Confirmation. I felt that the responsibility really fell on my parents, but it is their job to lead their flock.

I am not sure if it was an unusual experience that I had or not, but I think that religion is important and the responsibility of individuals and their parents. We were constantly exposed to the Good Works as well as amazing examples of good Catholics.

A good book to read is UnChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity. I read it a few months ago, and it was very eye opening. I definitely recommend it.

 

[Sina]

IMHO 2 main reasons

1. Poor Catechesis. Most Catholics don’t know what the Church believes or why.
2. The hyper sexualization of our culture. The secular world tells people that every form of sexual deviance is just great. The Church says NO! Many people prefer the easy path. (We know where that leads )

God Bless

Totally agree and to add to that, a lot of “catholics” don’t want to know what the church teaches and why… they plead ignorance and continue to live this way.

 

[Cat]

This is a very valid issue that every one of us can make an effort to resolve within our own parishes, hopefully to create a chain reaction. I commend you for trying, and hope you keep up the good work, even when you don’t get the ideal responses. This may require stepping outside of our comfort zone, and may seem awkward at first, but I’d recommend that we all try this when we see someone new at our parish, or even to those who we’ve seen week after week, yet never really got a chance to know. Kind words from us can make an eternal difference.

This is a skill we can learn from our separated brethren, as they know how to make new people feel welcome at their services.

Unfortunately, if you read the Traditional Section of this Forum, you will find plenty of posters who say that it isn’t proper to speak to anyone before or after Mass. Silence is to be maintained at all times so that people can pray.

This means that if you want to imitate the Protestants, you’ll have to do it in the lobby or if your church has no lobby (some older churches don’t), in the parking lot.

Maybe Catholic churches need to start roping off sections of the parking lot to make it safe for the people to say “hi” and chat and get to know each other, since apparently this isn’t allowed in the Presence of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.

After reading this, do you still have to ask why Catholics leave the Church?

I believe that Jesus wants us, above all us, to love each other. If that means saying “Hi” in His Presence, and giving a new person a hug and or a hearty handshake and inviting them out for coffee, I seriously doubt the Our Lord is offended.

But I’m sure He IS offended when people come to Mass for months and no one says “Hi” to them.

 

[Cat]

This is a fascinating poll, with every alternative containing some truth. Put them all together and you may be close to the truth. The bottom line is that millions of Catholics have left, or are leaving the Church. They may regard themselves as Catholics, and probably have little statue of Our Lady in the house or car but, to all intents and purposes, they are pagans. Worse, their children are being brought up as pagans, and their grandchildren also. This is not a problem for the Church in the USA only. In France,Portugal, Italy England and even Ireland, church attendance has fallen to record lows, sometimes below 5%

Looking for causes is not really fruitful. we need to be looking for solutions.

But you have to know the cause(s) before you can look for a solution(s).

 

[Cat]

I wanted to respond as a “Cradle Catholic” at the age of 24.

When I was in high school, I felt that the Catholic Church “left me out.” Even though I was in a Catholic high school, there were no youth groups available, no Bible studies, no book groups that my Protestant friends had. I always felt that the Catholic Church wasn’t very good at keeping teenagers interested. My Protestant friends seemed much more involved in their Church than I ever was.

I still went to Church every Sunday, did my individual study with my mom, continued to pray regularly, but I still felt uninvolved. Luckily, my parents are amazing Catholic role models who showed us daily the importance of the Catholic faith.

When I got to college (Lutheran) I participated in a lot of non-denominational groups: Bible studies, YoungLife, etc.

After college, when I moved to Atlanta, I found a great parish with an amazing Young Adult group. I don’t get to be involved as much as I would like, because I travel so much for work, however I have had some great experiences! I teach Sunday School, go to Theology on Tap, late Church when my schedule permits…

I always thought that the Catholic Church didn’t do a good job of keeping the teens around after Confirmation. I felt that the responsibility really fell on my parents, but it is their job to lead their flock.

I am not sure if it was an unusual experience that I had or not, but I think that religion is important and the responsibility of individuals and their parents. We were constantly exposed to the Good Works as well as amazing examples of good Catholics.

A good book to read is UnChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity. I read it a few months ago, and it was very eye opening. I definitely recommend it.

I curious about something that other young posters have posted in various threads on this forum. Perhaps you would be willing to add your (name removed by moderator)ut.

Do you believe that teenagers would be more interested in Mass if the “Traditional” Mass was done, instead of the OF? It seems that teenagers on this forum think that teens want to hear the Latin Mass, the Latin songs, chants, etc.–the more traditional the better.

They believe that innovations like “Life Teen” and “modern music” and “youth ministers” actually drive the teenagers away from the Church.

Although I agree that some teenagers are interested in tradition in the Mass, I personally think that this approach would NOT make most teenagers become more interested in attending Mass. I think it would drive even more teenagers away from the Church.

What is your feeling on this? Thanks.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

All I know is the MOST traditional, Orthodox groups (Franciscans, etc.) are not lacking for new members, while the less traditional ones are.

The Church should not amend itself to us but the other way round.

 

[kage_ar]

People do not know Jesus and they do not know the teachings of His Church.

 

[Carjack1]

I agree wholeheartedly.

I curious about something that other young posters have posted in various threads on this forum. Perhaps you would be willing to add your (name removed by moderator)ut.

Do you believe that teenagers would be more interested in Mass if the “Traditional” Mass was done, instead of the OF? It seems that teenagers on this forum think that teens want to hear the Latin Mass, the Latin songs, chants, etc.–the more traditional the better.

They believe that innovations like “Life Teen” and “modern music” and “youth ministers” actually drive the teenagers away from the Church.

Although I agree that some teenagers are interested in tradition in the Mass, I personally think that this approach would NOT make most teenagers become more interested in attending Mass. I think it would drive even more teenagers away from the Church.

What is your feeling on this? Thanks.

 

[stacybks]

IMHO 2 main reasons

1. Poor Catechesis. Most Catholics don’t know what the Church believes or why.
2. The hyper sexualization of our culture. The secular world tells people that every form of sexual deviance is just great. The Church says NO! Many people prefer the easy path. (We know where that leads )

God Bless

**Agree wholeheartedly. **

However, I voted they fail to see how the Church is benifitting them in life…

Many feel that they can live without the Eucharist, that God looks only at the heart and not the fact they do not gather with fellow Christians (which I know for a fact leads one deeper into sin because you aren’t being fed), and that as long as they are a good person they will go to Heaven.