Hi Tonyrey,
Thanks for your note. I am not a skeptic.* I’m just aware of inconsistencies. I also don’t believe that God personally acts in special interventions in this less than a speck of dust planet in what may be one of a billion universes, as astonishingly wondrous as is the world we are immersed in. God, gender neutral or inclusive, probably both, doesn’t on whims or “plans” or because of petitions (How utterly arrogant!) pick up pieces in the world like an architect manipulating a model. If we are talking about someone who does that, we are not talking about God, but some other entity who is very likely worthy of admiration and devotion. But that, however many degrees of spiritual distance between us, is not God as the Supreme. Therefore I do not believe that anyone speaking
rightly about God is inconsistent, even about allegedly historic events.
Would someone speak allegorically about their experience with God, even about the nature and “life” of Jesus? Yes, because as we know from even our own children, there are stages and kinds of understanding. It makes perfect sense, in the same way we use double and triple entendres, to communicate meaning a la parables which themselves have at least three levels of meaning. This accomplishes protection for the innocent, a challenge for the interested, and an answer for the persistent. At least I have found this to be so in my case.
That sort of schematic fits with the kind of dimensional vision we know we have as can be experienced with so called “magic pictures” that either look like noise or a perfectly comprehensible image until you look at them in a different focus. They then make an entirely different kind of sense, a sense which includes the prior vision but goes
beyond it as well. I have had a similar experience with my faith. This is consistent as well with the forms of organizational manifestation in Creation. Particles become atoms which are inclusive of them but transcend them. Atoms assemble into molecules which include them but transcend them. Etc, up the chain, and similarly with awareness, there being progressively fewer members of each ascending/transcending set. And let me assure you that there
is most certainly a state comprised of utter neutrality. It just isn’t accessible as long as one is convinced they are only a person with thoughts about.
It took me a long time to become stabilized relative to daily life after the most radical insight that came to me after years of persistent effort to know God. It didn’t help that the Church, in the form of both its clerics and its literature, had neither forewarning nor support for my sort of experience, despite much sincere research on my part for years afterwards. In fact, I had a very bad time of it for a while. But I was either lucky or fortunate. There is a way that explained what I experienced and fit it into a system of understanding that delineates,
for me, both the structure of awareness and the limitations of the Church in dealing with such as my case or similar. You might then imagine that I perceived a lacuna in the ordinary catechetical approach with which I was much more than familiar with.
So if anything, I am more of a provocateur or agitator in favor of introspection and effort beyond the ordinary than I am a sceptic. There may very well be someone on here, who like me at that time, is on the edge of darkness. As I said, there is a good reason it is called the dark night of the soul. And the Church as an institution has not dealt well with many who were in this situation. And I do believe that there are many, or some, facing what I did. So you see, I am a believer and not a sceptic.
I neither make any claims for myself nor for my way of understanding as something to be imposed or accepted. I adamantly do not expect agreement from ordinary religionists. I will say my piece and make explanations up to a point if someone wishes. But the purpose of my words is not necessarily to convince. That is an internal matter of self knowledge. But I do not wish others to feel the abandonment I felt. And who knows. I may never find someone on here who resonates with my perceptions, though some seem close. So please don’t understand me as being someone against the Church. I am someone who simply sees it in a larger context than is afforded by simple habitual faith.
Code:
*Did you know that a cynic is something that empties into a skeptic tank? :)
Also, re the hypothesis of faith:
"I cannot give any scientist of any age better advice than this: the intensity of a conviction that a hypothesis is true has no bearing on whether it is true. The importance of the strength of our conviction is only to provide a proportionately strong incentive to find out if the hypothesis will stand up to critical examination."
Peter B. Medawar,
Advice to a Young Scientist, 1979