OK, Expectthebest, here’s the thing. I base a lot of my interpretations on an experience that forced me to acknowlledge a form of awareness that is consistent with states described and explained clearly in non-Catholic systems. I have also had what, for lack of better explanation, might be called “religious” experiences. None but one of these were chemically induced, nor do I have any measurable psychic disorder. At that time my persistent questioning of every level of cleric I could personally contact, plus research I had done on my own in Catholic literature, was found to be inadequate and dissatisfactory in addressing my perceptions. In fact, it was clear from such that there was very little even in the direction of my inquiry available in my faith, even in the one catagory that seemed to come closest. I had to “go outside.”
Now we know from conversations of any ordinary sort that someone understands you if they are able to repeat back to you what you said, but in their own words from their own experience. In time I met someone like that who could not only repeat back to me, but could reslolve many of the conflicts I had within my faith and my experience. I asked if I could study with him, and was associated with him over nearly 30 years.
In that time I came to understand that his titles, Doctor and Mentor, were not casual in any sense. He was highly respected by the Jesuit community nearby, having led them through a theological impasse. He was esteemed and edified by many Catholic clergy and clergy of many faiths as a resolver of thorny issues. Indeed, Mother Theresea had visited him several times, which makes an interesting chapter in his biography by itself. Teachers, yogis, mystics, etc from the East revered him and some even called him “Living Vedanta.”
I also came to understand that his clarity of perception of religious matters was from a position that was antecedent to bodies of theological thought. What was fascinating was that though many disciplins claimed that he must have had a teacher in their line, he actually had had no such thing. He even passed, once, obscure tests which according to the prophecy of that order made him the rightful heir of that leadership. Go figure.
Anyway, as a student of this man, I began to see a much wider interpretation of scripture and dogma, one that transcended literalism without excluding historicity. I began to see a chordal structure in faith that had been hidden to me. Whereas I had before heard only a dull sound, I now heard a rich harmony. Whereas I saw only the surface confusion of the Magic Picture,* I now saw the hidden image in its clarity. I also finally had an unshakeable internal basis for morality.
All of this required, through much effort, the going beyond my simple yes/no, either/or, truth/lie, and yes, even devil/God perceptions. Yet none of that was destroyed. It remained intact. What I did come to see was a multi dimensional Universe of exquisit creation and infinite depth that no longer contradicted itself. My Love of and devotion to God skyrocketed. I had even my Catholicism, but on a far grander scale and magnitude than I could ever have managed from just my catechism.
Beyond that, there is not much that I can say, except that there are more hidden treasures in the Scriptures than one could imagine. But they are not what one might superficially believe them to be. And again, I quote Nisargadatta: “The search for Reality is the most dangerous of all undertakings, for it destroys the world in which you live.” That is true. Yet what is gained is a far larger, richer, profound and Loving Universe than can be described in words. Again, a choice between the red and the blue pill. Even those colors are significant, LOL!
For this discovery and my attempts to share crumbs of it, I have been called everything from heretic to blasphemer. That only makes me a mirror for those who call names. As for those whom I can actally have a conversation with, we only have the adventure of discovery in Love. To me, that means that there are, within and without the Church. actual Catholics. Of course, I fully advocate being One!
Bindar Doondat
*Magic Picture: a computer generated image that superficialy looks chaotic or flat, but which when viewed with a different focal point before or behind the image plane, pops it into a percievable image that is three dimensional.~ In other words, you have to be perceptually outside the picture to view it correctly and have its fullness. hint hint.