Why can't I change?

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AnotherMe

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Why can’t I change? I pray. I try. But nothing changes. I have been out of work for years. Nothing changes. I try to break this depression. Nothing changes. I try to overcome my unhealthy eating habits. Nothing changes. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CHANGES! I try to have faith. NOTHING CHANGES. I am so totally discouraged.
 
I’ll keep you in my prayers. Like you, I have also struggled with being out of work, depression, etc. But I promise you, it gets better, you just need to put your faith in God. 🙂

:gopray:

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen

:signofcross:
 
I too felt this, still do, but it’s better than it used to be. God will get us out in His own good time (there is something we have to learn and comprehend when going through trials). A prayer to the op for patience and perseverance:

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.

God bless!
 
Hi AnotherMe,

I am sorry that you are feeling so discouraged. Don’t give up.

With my own struggles, I just try and take things a day at a time, and that is really all any of us can do.

Keep an open dialogue with God. Keep talking to Him. He loves you more than anything.

When I am feeling bad, I unite myself with Jesus on the cross.

I also pray, looking at a crucifix. I will also pray the Stations of the Cross, using a crucifix at home. If you are interested, you can also do this in church, too.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
 
I also went through years of being unable to change things about myself that I felt kept me from being closer to God. Eventually, with God’s help and the help of the Blessed Virgin I overcame most of the problems. (Still have a few left). I did not have clinical depression, but did have emotional depression due to problems in my life over which I had no control. Now those are gone, thank God! It does eventually improve if you keep praying and believing. There were some lessons I needed to learn & simply wasn’t willing to learn, deep down inside! When I finally caved in and learned those lessons God was trying to teach me, things began to change. When I “backslide” and go back to old habits, I would almost swear that God is saying “once more around that mountain, Judy!”. This refers to the 40 years the Israelites spent in the desert to learn to obey God! And, it actually took me about 24 years, and I was over 40 years old when I finally learned. I read the Scripture about the Israelites in the desert for 40 years, going around and around the area near to Mt. Sinai, and that’s when I actually laughed! Oh, I’ve been going “around the mountain all these years!” When God teaches you the lesson(s) He wants you to learn, He will help you to change. Some people suffer this all their lives. When I learned, also, to offer my weaknesses to God as a sacrifice, He was gracious to grant me some comfort and a few small changes. The more I learned what He was trying to teach me, the more comfort He gave. Eventually, a lot changed. Offer your weaknesses to God. As St. Paul said: 'my weakness is made strength" or words to that effect. Even that great evangelist struggled with weaknesses, not only physical but also mental and emotional. He recognized that his weakness was made strength in Jesus. God be with you, God help you, God grant you many comforts.
 
AnotherMe said:
Why can’t I change? I pray. I try. But nothing changes. I have been out of work for years. Nothing changes. I try to break this depression. Nothing changes. I try to overcome my unhealthy eating habits. Nothing changes. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CHANGES! I try to have faith. NOTHING CHANGES. I am so totally discouraged.
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Well keep at the faith, for starters, discouragement is one of the great tools of the Devil.

Also, I recommend asking Saint Jude to pray for you. The prayer of a Saint is Heaven is
often (if not always) more powerful than prayers of us still in a fallen world. He is Patron
of desperate causes and things almost despaired over. He is family to Jesus too, theor-
etically that is also a boost.

Example in my signature, click text below (“Oh Holy St. Jude!”).
 
AnotherMe said:
Why can’t I change? I pray. I try. But nothing changes. I have been out of work for years. Nothing changes. I try to break this depression. Nothing changes. I try to overcome my unhealthy eating habits. Nothing changes. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CHANGES! I try to have faith. NOTHING CHANGES. I am so totally discouraged.
Click to expand...
Sounds frustrating! Gosh! That’s difficult. In the meantime, have you been offering all your suffering up to God? Try that. Offer all this suffering up to God. Then, at least your suffering will not be in vain. It can go for…the conversion of sinners, for the holy souls in purgatory, for any number of things. It might not feel like anything, but the saints have assured other otherwise.

If you offer this up, maybe through this suffering, you might help spring a number of souls from purgatory! Padre Pio said that Purgatory is like a fire that is so hot, that it’s sort of like the difference between regular water to boiling water! If you could help spring even just one soul from purgatory, that’d be very signficant!

Some saints have also said suffering is a gift. St. Thomas More said it’s a gift God gives his closest friends. ALL the saints have suffered. In fact, many even prayed for it! Some were disappointed if they didn’t suffer, saying God didn’t consider them worthy!

St. Theresa of Avila said that if that’s how he treated his friends, no wonder he didn’t have many! 😉 Well, guess you’re in good company, though, if nothing else.

Some have suggested angels don’t envy (except fallen ones), but if they could, they would probably envy our ability to suffer.

I’ll say a prayer for you:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
:gopray:
 
We all deal with struggles
The only difference between each of us is how we cope with them

Don’t give up. This will pass. Everything gets better eventually. For some of us, it is a slower turnaround but it will get better

Pray and stay strong with your faith. It will deliver you through anything

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Giveusthisday ourdaily bread. And forgiveusourtrespasses,aswe forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus. Holy Mary,Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
AnotherMe said:
Why can’t I change? I pray. I try. But nothing changes. I have been out of work for years. Nothing changes. I try to break this depression. Nothing changes. I try to overcome my unhealthy eating habits. Nothing changes. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CHANGES! I try to have faith. NOTHING CHANGES. I am so totally discouraged.
Click to expand...
Can you get treatment for the depression? As long as the depression’s in place, everything else…prayer, work, faith, eating difficulties, will all be harder.

Well, I am struggling with eating difficulties, myself, and I find depression makes that all worse.

With the eating problems, I’ve gone to a nutritionist, and that was helping for a while. I got frustrated, because nutritionists here sometimes cancell and not let you know. Well, I find it’s more than that. With me, overeating seems to be very emotional. I notice, at least with myself, if I’m depressed, stressed out, lonely, or hurting, I think I go to food more as comfort food, so to speak.

I guess I need to rethink that. If the nutritionists don’t work out here, maybe I could try another strategy…Overeater’s Anonymous or some kind of support group, because I know I feel like I don’t have the support I’d like. In Mexico, where I am, I’m not even sure if that even exists!

Food can be an addiction, similar to how alcohol or other things can be to other people. Addictions are hard. Well, have you ever noticed someone trying to quit smoking will often overeat, exchanging one addiction for another! There’s an entire psychology to addiction.

I’ve noticed with addictions some people have used 12-step programs, successfully, to overcome them, not trying to do it all by themselves, or “go it alone”. Maybe you need a little outside help to overcome some of these things and can’t do it all by youself.
 
In Spiritual Combat, by Dom Scupoli, he tells us that we need to rely on God for *everything, *including our bad habits. If we try to rely on ourselves, God cannot help us, He is blocked. Fr Michael Gately’s book Consoling the Sacred Heart of Jesus goes into more detail but is not available online. You could probably get it through interlibrary loan at your library.

We must think of ourselves as little children in relation to God and rely on Him for everything, and of course that means that we must accept His will as well.

This does not mean that we do not go to doctors and/or counselors… after all, He made them too! for our benefit.
 
**Thank you for all your support and prayer. I hate to be a downer. But I really am not in a good place. Even worse, my depression and despair is showing to my child. Life is so hard. I thought I would have been someplace by now. Instead, I believe it is too late in life to live up to the potential of what talents and abilities I had.
**
St_Francis said:
In Spiritual Combat, by Dom Scupoli, he tells us that we need to rely on God for *everything, *including our bad habits. If we try to rely on ourselves, God cannot help us, He is blocked. Fr Michael Gately’s book Consoling the Sacred Heart of Jesus goes into more detail but is not available online. You could probably get it through interlibrary loan at your library.

We must think of ourselves as little children in relation to God and rely on Him for everything, and of course that means that we must accept His will as well.

This does not mean that we do not go to doctors and/or counselors… after all, He made them too! for our benefit.
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**
Thank you for the link. I will read it. **
ClearWater said:
Can you get treatment for the depression? As long as the depression’s in place, everything else…prayer, work, faith, eating difficulties, will all be harder.

Well, I am struggling with eating difficulties, myself, and I find depression makes that all worse.

With the eating problems, I’ve gone to a nutritionist, and that was helping for a while. I got frustrated, because nutritionists here sometimes cancell and not let you know. Well, I find it’s more than that. With me, overeating seems to be very emotional. I notice, at least with myself, if I’m depressed, stressed out, lonely, or hurting, I think I go to food more as comfort food, so to speak.

I guess I need to rethink that. If the nutritionists don’t work out here, maybe I could try another strategy…Overeater’s Anonymous or some kind of support group, because I know I feel like I don’t have the support I’d like. In Mexico, where I am, I’m not even sure if that even exists!

Food can be an addiction, similar to how alcohol or other things can be to other people. Addictions are hard. Well, have you ever noticed someone trying to quit smoking will often overeat, exchanging one addiction for another! There’s an entire psychology to addiction.

I’ve noticed with addictions some people have used 12-step programs, successfully, to overcome them, not trying to do it all by themselves, or “go it alone”. Maybe you need a little outside help to overcome some of these things and can’t do it all by youself.
Click to expand...
**
I have gone these routes. I never followed the suggestions of the Nutritionists all that much. It just didn’t register. I don’t known how to cook. The will power just isn’t there. I do it for a day or two then go back to what I ate. It’s really pathetic. I even went to a few 12 step programs. Not much happened.

As for getting help for depression, I have done that too. Been there, done that. Perhaps I should get help again. But as I have stated, nothing changes. 😦 It’s just the same cycle, over and over again.**
 
ClearWater said:
Sounds frustrating! Gosh! That’s difficult. In the meantime, have you been offering all your suffering up to God?
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As a matter of fact, I have started to try to offer my sufferings up to God. Redemptive Suffering is a teaching I just learned this year. I have come back to Catholicism. I believe it’s a powerful doctrine. It seems to be a real different approach to life’s problems than my Protestant brethren take. Although I do offer my “sufferings” up to God I get frustrated. I don’t want to be a Victim Soul, although it does sound romantic. I want to be a person who can make a good living and feel he is accomplishing something with his life. And as I said, nothing seems to be changing, even if I do offer my “sufferings” up to God. I use quotes around the word suffering, because I am not really sure how much I suffer compared to a majority of the human race.
 
Praying that the Lord may grant you relief and and healing from any form of depression. Also praying that He may strengthen your will and grant you hope.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen
 
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou amongst women, and blessed is the Fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
You must trust God no matter how long it takes, i.e., we all have things we need to learn during these trials. Ask Him what his will for you is, and keep praying until you slowly start getting the answers. I will pray that you find a job as I think this will help you with your eating habits and depression.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen.

God bless!
 
Thank you all. I’m not looking for sympathy. Well perhaps just a little. LOL But seriously, I don’t understand it. I try to be a good person. I want to work and do a good job. Nothing works out for me. 😦 Perhaps I want too much.
 
Our Lady of Sorrows, you stood at the Cross of the Lord. Pray for us.
 
I was in a similar spot too. I stopped attended mass in my depression and unanswered prayers. Although I would say a Hail Mary or Our Father now and then, I had stopped practicing my faith. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS. It only got worse. I lost hope.
.
But Our Lord in his mercy led me back to mass, confession and hope. If you haven’t gone to confession do it now. Pour it all out, everything. Then surrender your life to God, not just saying the words but begin to change what you love first. Attend mass. Read some of the bible each day or some orthodox book. It probably won’t get better immediately but in time it will. Read books on conversion, there is the purgative way then the illuminative way and finally Unitive way. The purgative way can be painful and bring many tears as the Holy Spirit works on us. I’m reading “Fulfillment of all Desire” by Ralph Martin but there are many other books that can guide you. This is a journey I’ve found not just one prayer straightens everything out. But the best thing is as I returned to a state of grace, hope returned. Divine Mercy is also great way to understand how much God loves us and that knowledge affects you deeply and gives you confidence again. I’m praying for you. May God Bless you many times over.
 
Thank you. As a Reverted Catholic (I became an Evangelical Christian), I have been going to Confession and attending Mass regularly. I have been reading The Devine Mercy. I will look into the Fulfillment of all Desire you recommended. I can only look into it. I can’t promise I will read it. 🙂 I used to think God answered my prayers. I don’t know if I was fooling myself. No, I am sure I was not. I try to have faith. It’s just so hard these days. I know it’s up to me to change things. I’m not even trying to blame God. It’s me who can’t change. And I pray that I can have the grace to change. But I don’t change.:mad:
You used the term “the purgative way.” I never heard of that term before. I will look into it. It sounds deep with meaning. Perhaps I will learn something new. Thank you.🙂
 
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