Why can't I get a Tubal?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Momof7
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

Momof7

Guest
Thank you all for answers.

I am currently pregnant with our 7th child. Obviously, my husband and I have been open and accepting of children, but they are all very close in age. I am currently 38 years old and will be having my 5th cesarian in the past 6 years. Due to an abruption, I was not allowed to attempt a natural delivery after my initial c section, and now my doctors are seriously pushing me to get a tubal. To be honest, I would really like to. No method of family planning has worked, and we have done nfp with a teacher for 3 years. I had 2 babies in that timeframe. We have tried others methods of birth control (yes I know it’s a sin, and I’ve already taken care of that) and none of them worked— either I got pregnant anyway, or they made me VIOLENTLY sick, even suicidal.

I have previously been advised to simply abstain, but I fail to see how that is a long term solution for a married couple. None of the women in my family have hit menopause until their late 50s, and many had babies well into their 40s. The risks of serious complications, even death, for me and the baby go up exponentially with each surgery. The idea of having to abstain for the next 15-20 years is not at all appealing to my husband or I.

In these situations, why is it not advisable to go ahead and get the tubal? I want to be true to my Catholic beliefs, but I want to live and see my children grow.
 
Last edited:
Momof7 said:
Thank you all for answers.

I am currently pregnant with our 7th child. Obviously, my husband and I have been open and accepting of children, but they are all very close in age. I am currently 38 years old and will be having my 5th cesarian in the past 6 years. Due to an abruption, I was not allowed to attempt a natural delivery after my initial c section, and now my doctors are seriously pushing me to get a tubal. To be honest, I would really like to. No method of family planning has worked, and we have done nfp with a teacher for 3 years. I had 2 babies in that timeframe. We have tried others methods of birth control (yes I know it’s a sin, and I’ve already taken care of that) and none of them worked— either I got pregnant anyway, or they made me VIOLENTLY sick, even suicidal.

I have previously been advised to simply abstain, but I fail to see how that is a long term solution for a married couple. None of the women in my family have hit menopause until their late 50s, and many had babies well into their 40s. The risks of serious complications, even death, for me and the baby go up exponentially with each surgery. The idea of having to abstain for the next 15-20 years is not at all appealing to my husband or I.

In these situations, why is it not advisable to go ahead and get the tubal? I want to be true to my Catholic beliefs, but I want to live and see my children grow.
Click to expand...
Sterilization is grave matter when willed for itself.

Pope Pius XII:
Serious motives, such as those which not rarely arise from medical, eugenic, economic and social so-called “indications,” may exempt husband and wife from the obligatory, positive debt for a long period or even for the entire period of matrimonial life. From this it follows that the observance of the natural sterile periods may be lawful, from the moral viewpoint: and it is lawful in the conditions mentioned. If, however, according to a reasonable and equitable judgment, there are no such grave reasons either personal or deriving from exterior circumstances, the will to avoid the fecundity of their union, while continuing to satisfy to the full their sensuality, can only be the result of a false appreciation of life and of motives foreign to sound ethical principles.
Click to expand...
http://www.ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/P511029.HTM
 
Last edited:
I would like too, but we JUST got a new Priest today in our parish. I don’t know him, and he doesn’t know me. He knows no one in our parish, and I work for the parish office. I know everyone he could recommend I speak with, and I’ve already spoken to them. Our parish NFP instructor is there one we’ve worked with for the past few years. I just don’t know where to go from this standpoint. (And I hope this quoted (name removed by moderator)).

Edit: okay, I didn’t quote right. I was trying to reply to CajunJoy.
 
Last edited:
What method of NFP have you been using? The reason I ask is that sometimes one particular method isn’t a good fit for certain women. I started using the sympto-thermal, for example, but it just didn’t work well for me for a number of reasons. I switched to Creighton model, however, and that was a much better fit for me, and worked much better. Still other people I know really like the Marquette method which uses a monitor and testing strips to let you know if you’re ovulating, and thus when to avoid.

It might be worth looking into some of these and seeing if a change in method might help. Certainly it’s better to try out other methods to see if a different one is more effective for you, than to go back to ABC or get a tubal.
 
@QuillWriter I’ve been doing sympto-thermal. I’ve even gone so far as to do daily ovulation test strips to confirm my temps. Obviously we abstained during the appropriate timeframes. On charts, everything SHOULD have worked perfectly.

But unless I ovulate multiple times a month, or have super eggs that never die, I genuinely do not understand how we still got pregnant. Even our instructor was surprised.

My obgyn thinks that both my husband and I must be super fertile since quite literally nothing has worked to prevent pregnancy for us. She’s actually shocked that we haven’t had any multiple births. I just don’t know what to do anymore. My husband is not supportive of NFP anymore, since it hasn’t worked, and me getting pregnant is so risky. He is even less supportive of long-term abstinence, though. He is not at all devout in his Catholic beliefs and thinks I should have no doubts about getting a tubal. 😒
 
Last edited:
Momof7 said:
In these situations, why is it not advisable to go ahead and get the tubal?
Click to expand...
Tubal ligation is grave matter. Sterilization is intrinsically evil.

Abstaining can be difficult but it is certainly not impossible. And we are called by God to be faithful to his commandments even when it is difficult.
 
Hmm, I don’t know about super fertility, but you might call the people at NaPro Technology and see if they have any ideas. They’re the ones who came up with the Creighton method, and they were able to analyze my charts using their method and figured out that my body functions a little differently than the norm, which is why sympto-thermal didn’t work well for me. After they figured out what was actually happening, they adjusted the charting rules for my specific circumstances, and I finally was able to use NFP with confidence.

On the other hand, if your husband is that reluctant to use NFP at this point, maybe he would be open to trying the Marquette method? Sometimes people find using a monitor and test strips that simply tell you fertile or infertile more reassuring than relying on deciphering body temps and CM.

Good luck! I’ll say some prayers for you and your husband!
 
Last edited:
ovulation tests based on LH are not free from false positives.

we use proov progesterone test strips to confirm ovulation has occurred: https://proovtest.com/

We have 4 indicators: LH peak, mucus peak, temp shift (we use tempdrop thermometer and it is super convenient and works really well) and progesterone positive after a few days to confirm ovulation has occurred.

I’m not saying it will be the solution to your problems, but who knows…

Anyway, it seems your husband has reached a point where he has lost all confidence on NFP, and it’s hard.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top