Why can't I succeed at anything?

[LegoGE1947]

You know, I actually thought about doing this very thing the other day. But I didn’t. I think you’re right. Our words do have power! I should do exactly what you suggested. And I wish you the best moving forward with your project. Thank you for a great suggestion.

I actually do volunteer Our local NPR radio station runs a reading radio service to the blind. Volunteers come to the studios and tape record readings from various newspaper and magazines. Then the recordings are played on specially equipped radio receivers that are loaned to the blind upon individual request. I happen to read an hour’s worth of the Christian Science Monitor news magazine each week and I do other things around the station as needed by the director.

 

[the_phoenix]

No offense, but I CAN’T STAND WHEN BELIEVERS QUOTE Jeremiah 29:11 TO PEOPLE GOING THROUGH HARD TIMES!! It’s annoying and unrealistic! It really is!
I have many talents. That’s the problem. I have failed at them.

Then you and I disagree on this. I’ve gone through hard times, and have found Jeremiah 29:11 very comforting. And since I found it comforting in the past, that’s why I posted it here.

I guess. I’ve been reading a lot on the Fatima children.

I was also thinking of St. Therese and The Little Way. She’s the patron saint of missions, which is pretty good for someone who lived in a cloister and never traveled out of the country to evangelize. And a Doctor of the Church … pretty much for her ideas about depending on God like a child. But when she died, the other nuns thought she was so insignificant that they really didn’t know what to say about her at first, because outwardly she really didn’t impress anybody.

My definition of success is making a good living ($50,000 to $100,000 a year) and having a great love life with my wife and raising a blessed child who is safe and healthy. The figure I have is not that unrealistic. Well now it is maybe.

I guess I’m not a success in your eyes, based on how you define it. That said, I’m content and grateful for what I do have.

~~ the phoenix

 

[Joy2day]

Even if you can’t work, for pay, can you do something as a volunteer? I’ve even volunteered different times outside, and inside, my house.

I’ve done some things as menial as filing, stuffing envelopes, but I’ve found more rewarding work with people, the blind, specifically.

I don’t make any money, so in the world’s eyes, I am probably of little value, also. However, if nothing else, I do in my small way, something to make a difference, to give myself a sense of meaning and purpose.

I get out of the house, help someone else, who might have problems as big as mine, if not bigger.

They say that why we think of self, troubles grow. Think of others, troubles go.

I know volunteers are needed everywhere…schools…hospitals…librairies. It also gives one a social aspect one might lack if not in the conventional workforce. Some place have entire volunteer departments, recognize their volunteers.

Can you teach someone how to read, say?

I started off with Literacy Volunteers, did that for, I think, 5 years. Then, I went to Mexico, taught/tutored English as a Second Language. I volunteered in the US for a time as a Spanish interpreter with a couple places…a hospital and an organization.

Later, I became a professional interpreter, ended up doing that for 5 years.

So, sometimes we also acquire skills during our volunteering that we can use later to get work.

When I have worked, I’ve usually made my own jobs, in a sense. Sometimes, that can work better if other options don’t work.

I’m considered disabled, actually, but if all I can do now is volunteer work, that’s what I do.
I find this helpful.

So, I figure I’d run this by you. ** handsonnetwork.org/**

And/or…can you take some classes? There are all kinds of classes now, many for free.

I took free computer classes to get myself updated. They had them at the library.

Right now, I’m taking a free Braille and abacus class. I see here there’s also to be a free sign class at INCODIS.

So, why not consider volunteering and/or a class. What do you have to lose?

I think this is excellent advice. Even if you have not worked in 5 years = you can still do volunteer work in 5 years which then ends up being work = experience ánd reference, as well as possibly developing some new skills. the work environment is tough and competitive and due to silly government laws, is becoming more so. failing to protect society by failing to provide enough secure jobs for its citizens, creates a society where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer because their labour is exploited by business owners. Having a society with a growing number of poor people who are finding it increasingly difficult to get work and support themselves, only serves to increase the burden of dependence on society instead of making it more productive. The poor, who are increasingly less self sufficient will not just go away and disappear off the planet. An individual business owner might win, but in the end society suffers as a whole. Why cannot governments see this and ensure there are enough jobs for people.

 

[LegoGE1947]

I think this is excellent advice. Even if you have not worked in 5 years = you can still do volunteer work in 5 years which then ends up being work = experience ánd reference, as well as possibly developing some new skills. the work environment is tough and competitive and due to silly government laws, is becoming more so. failing to protect society by failing to provide enough secure jobs for its citizens, creates a society where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer because their labour is exploited by business owners. Having a society with a growing number of poor people who are finding it increasingly difficult to get work and support themselves, only serves to increase the burden of dependence on society instead of making it more productive. The poor, who are increasingly less self sufficient will not just go away and disappear off the planet. An individual business owner might win, but in the end society suffers as a whole. Why cannot governments see this and ensure there are enough jobs for people.

Margaret Sanger, founderess of Planned Parenthood, had a “solution”. Eliminate the poor by killing their babies. Here’s hoping that the pro choice politicians who recently accepted the Margaret Sanger Award enjoy it and sleep peaceful tonight!!!

 

[Cat]

My definition of success is making a good living ($50,000 to $100,000 a year) and having a great love life with my wife and raising a blessed child who is safe and healthy. The figure I have is not that unrealistic. Well now it is maybe.

I think that an income of $50,000 to $100,000 a year is unrealistic, even if you have a college degree.

I have worked in a hospital lab for over 30 years. I have a college degree (Bachelor’s). I don’t make $50,000 year.

My husband has a Master’s Degree, and has worked for over 30 years for a big computer company with a name that has three letters in it (I’m not sure if we’re allowed to say specific company names on CAF). He makes just a little over $50,000/yr, and nowhere near $100,000/yr. He has also seen many of his co-workers/friends terminated due to downsizing–he has escaped so far, but we are constantly aware that his job is hanging in the balance.

As for a great love life with your wife–are you talking about sex? And what is your definition of a “great love life?” If you think that other couples are making love several times a week, then I would say that this is unrealistic thinking on your part. Some couples of CAF will tell you that they make love every night, but most couples are happy to have sex once a month. It’s especially difficult when you have children to find time to make love.

And could you define the term “blessed” child? I’m wondering if you have the same unrealistic expectations of your children as you do of your income potential and your love life? Children are children–they are messy, stinky, cry a lot, fuss a lot, don’t listen when you try to read good stories to them, don’t sleep when you want them to sleep, eat junk instead of vegetables, and prefer watching Spongebob on TV instead of playing outdoors. Are you expecting something more out of your child?

Frankly, I think you are clinically depressed and you need to get medical help.

My husband has battled clinical depression over the years, and your negative and unrealistic thinking sounds exactly like his thinking during the throes of his depression. And it’s no wonder that Bible verses and “buck up” sentiments aren’t helping you–you have a medical condition that requires medical intervention, not just words of encouragement.

My husband worked with a psychiatrist to find a med that brought the depression under control (it took two years, so don’t expect a fast fix). He also worked with a psychologist who helped him to unlearn the negative thought patterns and to learn positive (normal) thought patterns.

In my opinion as a wife and woman, the best way to help your wife to respect you is to seek the help that you need. It’s very hard for a woman to respect a man who refuses to get help. It’s frustrating for her to hear you talk so negatively, and she wants you to get some help, and until you do, she won’t respect you. She’ll also be afraid for her own future and the future of children, and that will make it even more tense between the two of you.

So for her sake as well as yours, get help.

If you have sought help for depression in the past to no avail, I’m urging you to please try again and find a different doctor. Make sure you are seeing a real doctor, not a “natural” doctor or some other non-professional helper or spiritual leader. Clinical depression is a medical condition and requires medical intervention.

Also, don’t give up on depression treatment. Re-read what I wrote–it took TWO YEARS for the psychiatrist to find a med that helped my husband. That meant two years of taking meds that caused side effects and didn’t work–but my husband kept trying, and eventually the right med was found.

Same for cognitive therapy–don’t give up on it. At first all the exercises and journals and workbooks may seem like a waste of time, but eventually you will discover their value.

Good luck to you.

 

[MainBrain]

\

I guess I’m not a success in your eyes, based on how you define it. That said, I’m content and grateful for what I do have.

~~ the phoenix

Why would you say that? I’m just defining success for me. I would never think YOU were NOT a success. I’m talking about my own personal goals for me.

 

[MainBrain]

I think this is excellent advice. Even if you have not worked in 5 years = you can still do volunteer work in 5 years which then ends up being work = experience ánd reference, as well as possibly developing some new skills. the work environment is tough and competitive and due to silly government laws, is becoming more so. failing to protect society by failing to provide enough secure jobs for its citizens, creates a society where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer because their labour is exploited by business owners. Having a society with a growing number of poor people who are finding it increasingly difficult to get work and support themselves, only serves to increase the burden of dependence on society instead of making it more productive. The poor, who are increasingly less self sufficient will not just go away and disappear off the planet. An individual business owner might win, but in the end society suffers as a whole. Why cannot governments see this and ensure there are enough jobs for people.

Did you not read what I said? I called a volunteer organization 4 TIMES and they NEVER GOT BACK TO ME! I tried at the Hopsital and they have a waiting list a mile wide. I did do thousands of dollars of free work for free. I guess that is volunteer work. I can continue looking for volunteer work. But don’t think the volunteer organizations are any less crafty then the corporate world. Remember, they are making their salaries from donated money. I hate to sound cynical.

 

[MainBrain]

i think that an income of $50,000 to $100,000 a year is unrealistic, even if you have a college degree.

I have worked in a hospital lab for over 30 years. I have a college degree (bachelor’s). I don’t make $50,000 year.

My husband has a master’s degree, and has worked for over 30 years for a big computer company with a name that has three letters in it (i’m not sure if we’re allowed to say specific company names on caf). He makes just a little over $50,000/yr, and nowhere near $100,000/yr. He has also seen many of his co-workers/friends terminated due to downsizing–he has escaped so far, but we are constantly aware that his job is hanging in the balance.

As for a great love life with your wife–are you talking about sex? And what is your definition of a “great love life?” if you think that other couples are making love several times a week, then i would say that this is unrealistic thinking on your part. Some couples of caf will tell you that they make love every night, but most couples are happy to have sex once a month. It’s especially difficult when you have children to find time to make love.

and could you define the term “blessed” child? I’m wondering if you have the same unrealistic expectations of your children as you do of your income potential and your love life? Children are children–they are messy, stinky, cry a lot, fuss a lot, don’t listen when you try to read good stories to them, don’t sleep when you want them to sleep, eat junk instead of vegetables, and prefer watching spongebob on tv instead of playing outdoors. Are you expecting something more out of your child?

frankly, i think you are clinically depressed and you need to get medical help.

My husband has battled clinical depression over the years, and your negative and unrealistic thinking sounds exactly like his thinking during the throes of his depression. And it’s no wonder that bible verses and “buck up” sentiments aren’t helping you–you have a medical condition that requires medical intervention, not just words of encouragement.

My husband worked with a psychiatrist to find a med that brought the depression under control (it took two years, so don’t expect a fast fix). He also worked with a psychologist who helped him to unlearn the negative thought patterns and to learn positive (normal) thought patterns.

In my opinion as a wife and woman, the best way to help your wife to respect you is to seek the help that you need. It’s very hard for a woman to respect a man who refuses to get help. It’s frustrating for her to hear you talk so negatively, and she wants you to get some help, and until you do, she won’t respect you. She’ll also be afraid for her own future and the future of children, and that will make it even more tense between the two of you.

So for her sake as well as yours, get help.

If you have sought help for depression in the past to no avail, i’m urging you to please try again and find a different doctor. Make sure you are seeing a real doctor, not a “natural” doctor or some other non-professional helper or spiritual leader. Clinical depression is a medical condition and requires medical intervention.

Also, don’t give up on depression treatment. Re-read what i wrote–it took two years for the psychiatrist to find a med that helped my husband. That meant two years of taking meds that caused side effects and didn’t work–but my husband kept trying, and eventually the right med was found.

Same for cognitive therapy–don’t give up on it. At first all the exercises and journals and workbooks may seem like a waste of time, but eventually you will discover their value.

Good luck to you.

please don’t make comments on my child and me as a father when you have no idea what you are talking about! I am not going to allow you to pass judgement on me that way!!!

 

[MainBrain]

I would like to offer you prayers, but I don’t mean to be disrespectful, because I know you said “please spare the prayers and encouragement.” I wish I had words of wisdom to offer you or solid advice. It is awful feeling like your life is stuck, I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I will pray that things look up for you soon I hope that is okay. God bless you and please take care as best as you can.

Thank you. I do believe in prayers. I believe my whole life is blessed by prayer. I apologize for posting my negative and angry comment about prayer. I would love it if you prayed for me. I just feel some people like to offer positive scripture verses too many times instead of have a listening ear.

 

[LegoGE1947]

Thank you. I do believe in prayers. I believe my whole life is blessed by prayer. I apologize for posting my negative and angry comment about prayer. I would love it if you prayed for me. I just feel some people like to offer positive scripture verses too many times instead of have a listening ear.

We used to attend one of those “Mega-churches” and we used to get those positive thinking scripture verses and platitudes all the time. Made me sick at my stomach after while.
Almost never a listening ear, so I know the drill.

 

[MainBrain]

We used to attend one of those “Mega-churches” and we used to get those positive thinking scripture verses and platitudes all the time. Made me sick at my stomach after while.
Almost never a listening ear, so I know the drill.

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Christians should remember the verse that says Galatians 6, 2: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
And that doesn’t necessarily mean quoting scripture versus all the time.

Last night I was talking to a very old friend. I was sharing my burdens with him. He actually told me it was “pride” that I was suffering from because of my lack of success. Geewwwizz.

 

[Cat]

please don’t make comments on my child and me as a father when you have no idea what you are talking about! I am not going to allow you to pass judgement on me that way!!!

I apologize. I did not mean to pass judgment on you, but only to share what some people think children should be like. If you are not like those people, that’s good.

But I would still like to know what you mean when you say “blessed child.” I’ve never heard that term.

And I would appreciate knowing if you have considered the possibility that you are suffering from clinical depression.

Thank you.

 

[LegoGE1947]

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Christians should remember the verse that says Galatians 6, 2: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
And that doesn’t necessarily mean quoting scripture versus all the time.

Last night I was talking to a very old friend. I was sharing my burdens with him. He actually told me it was “pride” that I was suffering from because of my lack of success. Geewwwizz.

At this one Protestant assembly we used to attend, someone would ask us how we were and before we had the chance to answer, they would say “Oh, I know, you’re strong in The Lord and the power of His Might!” One time we were able to get the real answer out of our own mouths (we were having a difficult time) and after we had poured our hearts out, this person walked away, saying “That’s great! Keep up the good work!” Obviously they weren’t listening:shrug:

 

[PrayHarder]

I didn’t read all three pages of posts so maybe someone already said this. Maybe you have a very narrow and specific idea of success. You may be only looking at two or three criteria (job, college, etc). But maybe you are succeeding in other areas such as being a good friend or family member. Maybe you’re a good member of a faith community or you volunteer. Just by the fact that you pray means something. While you may not see yourself as successful, I’m sure a soul in Purgatory is infinitely grateful that you exist and pray for them.

Remember, God doesn’t make life easier by leveling the mountains. Instead, he gives you a good walking stick. Similarly, don’t measure success by a few worldly criteria and instead remember that every soul in God’s grace is already a successful soul.

 

[LegoGE1947]

I didn’t read all three pages of posts so maybe someone already said this. Maybe you have a very narrow and specific idea of success. You may be only looking at two or three criteria (job, college, etc). But maybe you are succeeding in other areas such as being a good friend or family member. Maybe you’re a good member of a faith community or you volunteer. Just by the fact that you pray means something. While you may not see yourself as successful, I’m sure a soul in Purgatory is infinitely grateful that you exist and pray for them.

Remember, God doesn’t make life easier by leveling the mountains. Instead, he gives you a good walking stick. Similarly, don’t measure success by a few worldly criteria and instead remember that every soul in God’s grace is already a successful soul.

I guess if a person had hung around where they teach the “prosperity gospel” that makes the real world just that much more difficult.

 

[MainBrain]

I guess if a person had hung around where they teach the “prosperity gospel” that makes the real world just that much more difficult.

I’m not so sure how much of the “prosperity gospel” is false or true. But I do know that many people, including me have been let down big time. I do know there are many charlatans on tv that preach a prosperity gospel. Their whole message is nothing more than a use of scripture to collect money. It’s really astounding. One day they will have to give and account.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

I’m in my 50s and I still fail at everything I do. Even after prayer, college and work I fail at everything. Nothing changes. Please spare the the prayers and encouragement. NOTHING CHANGES IN LIFE.

Spare the prayers, spare the encouragement… I must ask, in all charity, what is it you are looking for? Or don’t you know, but ‘you’ll know it when you see it?’

I often feel the same way, so I wonder.

 

[LegoGE1947]

I’m not so sure how much of the “prosperity gospel” is false or true. But I do know that many people, including me have been let down big time. I do know there are many charlatans on tv that preach a prosperity gospel. Their whole message is nothing more than a use of scripture to collect money. It’s really astounding. One day they will have to give and account.

Sad to say, there some that are in the pulpits of local protestant churches that preach this prosperity stuff. I, too, have been let down by it. I’ve even heard many of them refute the clear reading of Scripture. For example “Christ was not poor” vs “The Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head” “The woman at the well was not a prostitute” vs "The clear reading of this scripture in John 4. " 3John 2 “I pray that you may prosper in all things” vs The Apostle is simply hoping all is going well with his readers. Several other examples too numerous to mention here.

 

[MainBrain]

Spare the prayers, spare the encouragement… I must ask, in all charity, what is it you are looking for? Or don’t you know, but ‘you’ll know it when you see it?’

I often feel the same way, so I wonder.

A job that I can love getting up in the morning to go to.
A wife that respects me and desires me.
To use my talents to the best of my abilities.
Everything else is pretty good.

 

[MainBrain]

Sad to say, there some that are in the pulpits of local protestant churches that preach this prosperity stuff. I, too, have been let down by it. I’ve even heard many of them refute the clear reading of Scripture. For example “Christ was not poor” vs “The Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head” “The woman at the well was not a prostitute” vs "The clear reading of this scripture in John 4. " 3John 2 “I pray that you may prosper in all things” vs The Apostle is simply hoping all is going well with his readers. Several other examples too numerous to mention here.

Indeed Protestants like to take only certain scripture versus and use it towards their own doctrinal foundation. There is no denying this.