Those kinds of responses reveal more about the guy’s character and the way he views himself than it reveals about the woman, in this instance. It’s never rude or conceited to decline and anyone who thinks so has issues.
How do you know in advance what kind of guy you’re dealing with? Why not use kid gloves with everybody and play it safe?
Most likely because the individual involved is what swayed her decision. It all goes back to the individual, which indicates it was never really about her rule but about the person involved.
True, but it looks dishonest (“scandal”). Usually people don’t change their minds on things like this either unless they’ve been given some kind of incentive that swayed their decision.
This is giving a reason. No one has to give a reason and I don’t think the OP was about that. It was about being direct. One can be direct without giving any reasons for declining whatsoever.
If he makes her skin crawl, then there’s no long term potential.
I don’t see why a simple “Thanks for the offer, but no thanks” wouldn’t suffice in such a situation?
Because in most cases if she doesn’t give a really good reason, he won’t take no for an answer.
Because if the guy reminds someone of their weird high school math teacher, chances are they know that there is no long term potential.
Nonsense is thinking that unless someone has a good reason, they have to say yes.
That’s a win-win, then. They’ve just figured out that they’re not compatible, with no time or money spent on a date.
:yup:
This is judging a book by its cover. Superficial and shallow. And like Xantippe said earlier, “She could change her mind.” The thing is, once you start to give reasons and the guy starts to offer around them to make it work out, the lie becomes more and more exposed anyway. Logically speaking, looks are not a great indicator of long term potential. Judging a a person as not having potential without knowing them is kind of dumb.
I agree, not sure if anyone made that claim in this thread.
Yep, it is judging a book by its cover. It happens every day and to pretty much everyone.
Yes, a “no” should suffice. But when I was dating, I found that “no” was meaningless. A woman basically had to come up with a “good” reason.
Yeah pretty much this. I don’t think anyone in this thread has suggested that someone has to say yes. But a few of us have reported men getting aggressive and demanding when not provided a reason.
Actually, here’s what I used to do if a guy expressed interest in me and I wasn’t interested in him. I would say, “How do you feel about Rush Limbaugh? I really, really like him!”
Funny!Actually, here’s what I used to do if a guy expressed interest in me and I wasn’t interested in him. I would say, “How do you feel about Rush Limbaugh? I really, really like him!”
And then the guy would turn and run for the hills.
So looking back, I guess the reason I didn’t get married was because for some reason I seemed to attract Liberals.
Anyways, all part of Divine Providence, eh?
…
Don’t want to derail the thread, but it does seem that since the advent of social media and the W. Bush presidency, the USA is much more divided and segregated along party lines, including in dating and friendships.Actually, here’s what I used to do if a guy expressed interest in me and I wasn’t interested in him. I would say, “How do you feel about Rush Limbaugh? I really, really like him!”
And then the guy would turn and run for the hills.
So looking back, I guess the reason I didn’t get married was because for some reason I seemed to attract Liberals.
Anyways, all part of Divine Providence, eh?
…
I think it has filtered down to the lower classes. I remember that in the 70’s there was some intellectual who quipped in the NY times “No one I knew voted for Nixon” which could be seen as that they didn’t hang with Conservatives or that they didn’t mix with more middle class folks who supported Nixon. I’m sure now most people are becoming the same way especially since Bush. I’m sure many progressive types would die before even talking to a conservative about anything other than to change them or vice versa.
No,sweetheart,it isn’t because women are so full of themselves,but I have had men be incredibly rude to me for not being interested and one even - in a nightclub years ago - asked if I was a lesbian,and also had a boyfriend threaten suicide if I left him.So it’s not about women always being full of themselves.
Yes, darling, this thread was very helpful in me learning about the womenfolk. So was that other thread about why women view you as dead if the love is gone.
You can experience drunken men like this anywhere,not just in bars.I have had a similar experience on a bus.