Why did God give us different messages?

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Jenny

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Hi everyone. I’ve known my boyfriend for 3 years until now and he rejected me twice. The first time is after preparing everything for the wedding, he said he was afraid of his life being changed forever. He said he loved me but he didn’t choose me. After that, I was devastated and we still kept in touch. Someday, he said he got over his fear and he wanted to marry me. It took us ( especially me) another year to feel confident again about marriage. I still felt insecure at that time but I still loved him. That’s why I said yes again even though there was a doubting thinking in my mind that he wasn’t strong enough for our love. And I was right. Couple days ago, before we went to the court clerk to sign together, he was frozen and said to me that he couldn’t do it with me even though he loved me. I was awfully painful. Before the bid day, i prayed for God that if we are meant to be together, please give us the strength to overcome difficulties to be together. But if not, please let us move on. During that time, he was hesitated and prayed for God too. And believe it or not, God sent him his message exactly the right time after he prayed through bible app. It’s the quote he received on the day i asked him to reconsider everything carefully. The quote is :” Two are better than one…”. He was confused when he read this to me because both of us felt like it was a sign. But in the end, he wasn’t brave enough to hold me back and rejected me again. Right now, he is asking me more time to deal with his problems but i am painful too much after things he did to me. I wonder what God truly wants for our relationship because i am destroyed right now.
 
Random “signs” from phone apps don’t tell us who to marry. Two people decide, on purpose, to marry one another.

I’m sorry this has happened to you. This man does not want to marry- it’s best for you to stop all contact and begin to move on.
 
This sounds miserable.

You need to break up with this guy, give yourself a break (without him), and find somebody who is excited to marry you, not dragging his feet.

He’s not going to get more enthusiastic about you.
 
Yes. I married a reluctant guy, and he threw it in my face for years that I trapped him.
You don’t want to go through that. Please tell him kindly to go away and grow up, and wait for a man who is thrilled to be dating you.
God bless.
 
This guy is bad news and a loser. Please don’t waste any more time on him.

Also, what’s this "went to the court clerk to sign together " stuff? If you’re a Catholic, you’re supposed to be getting married by a priest in church.
 
We intended to have vows at church after doing things with the government first. But he ran away once more time before it happens
 
Be glad he ran away and spared you probably more years of headaches. This guy has problems. You don’t want to be married to anyone who is less than fully enthusiastic and committed to the idea.
 
Jenny said:
he is asking me more time to deal with his problems but i am painful too much after things he did to me. I wonder what God truly wants for our relationship because i am destroyed right now.
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Run, sweetie. Get him out of your life completely. He obviously is not marriage material.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Also, what’s this "went to the court clerk to sign together " stuff? If you’re a Catholic, you’re supposed to be getting married by a priest in church.
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I do not know her situation but where I live, you have to go to the county court clerk to apply for a licence.
 
Yes, I did the same thing, but we didn’t need to both sign for the license. One person can sign for the license.
Two people signing together at a registry sounds like a civil marriage. Some countries do have a civil marriage and then a church ceremony, although USA doesn’t.
 
God didn’t give you different messages. You just don’t know what your message was.
 
Before the big day, I prayed for God that if we aren’t meant to be together, please give me a sign. Then he was suddenly frozen and hesitated to go to the court clerk. But he received his sign the day before.
 
Nope. That isn’t how God works. Or marriage, or dating or any of it! Be careful!
 
You both seem to be relying on some kind of superstition. That’s not how God works! It’s pretty obvious that this man isn’t ready to marry you. Wait for the right man…or, for a calling to a different vocation. You don’t deserve what you’ve been going thru. Forget this man!
 
Obviously, he must have some good qualities, or you wouldn’t like him so much but…

He’s just not that into you.
 
Jenny said:
Before the big day, I prayed for God that if we aren’t meant to be together, please give me a sign. Then he was suddenly frozen and hesitated to go to the court clerk. But he received his sign the day before
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I think you are putting too much faith into this “show me a sign” stuff. Didn’t you ever read where Jesus said “It is written, do not put God to the test”?

However, since I do not speak for God and let’s say you both did get signs, rather then assuming God gave you both mixed signs isn’t it more likely that God thought it would be the best thing in the words for this man (sounds more like a boy honestly) to marry you but he just plain out decided not to? God won’t force anyone to do anything. We can disobey God and He allows it. So even if God wanted you to get married, if one of you did not then God won’t force a marriage. Make sense?

So, I say to you, do not blame God. You are looking at all this wrong. I will say that I think it is way more likely that your ex got a coincidence not a sign.
 
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Thanks for your response. I didn’t blame God. I am just confused of the signs we received. We’ve been together for years and everything was so fine that I thought we were meant to be together. During that time, we always prayed for our love to God. When it comes to the big decision, i see the different side of him. I just wonder what points I missed for the whole time.
 
Not to be cliched, but love is an action. His actions show that he doesn’t love you. Honestly, I can’t think of a worse way to find a spouse than divination, which we’re not supposed to do anyway.
 
Jenny said:
Thanks for your response. I didn’t blame God. I am just confused of the signs we received. We’ve been together for years and everything was so fine that I thought we were meant to be together. During that time, we always prayed for our love to God. When it comes to the big decision, i see the different side of him. I just wonder what points I missed for the whole time.
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Chances are they were just coincidences, not signs. I would let that part go to.
 
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