Why do catholics leave the Catholic Church

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I’m sure there are an many reasons as there are people who leave the church.

My wife and I came into the Church in September of 2009 and knew some former catholics in our former denomination…

Most were married and divorced, then left the church to remarry.

Others didn’t really understand the Catholic Church theology.

Some just went to a church where they could justify their sin… Premarital sex, gay sex, etc… Yes, there are christian (so called) denominations where it is OK (not a sin) to have premarital sex.
Of the Catholics I personally know who have left the Church, the above are the cases for every one of them.
 
Check out the website called Catholics Come Home. There are lots of personal stories there.

My heart really goes out to the people of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles: The systemic coverup is disgusting, and reading it in the press everyday must be so disheartening. I pray that the Holy Spirit blows some fresh wind through that morass, and cleans things up.

Not that it hasn’t happened elsewhere (and in other faiths as well,) but this is just the most shrill and dramatic recent example. I pray that people hold on to their faith, and emerge stronger for this trial.
 
From a practical view point, some people don’t want to bring their children to a church where they may be sexually molested while the leadership turns a blind eye.

It is hard for a priest to have credibility over matters such as pre-marital relations or same gender marriage when there is a perception they may be preaching out against these things from the pulpit, and molesting children or even adult parishioners behind closed doors. This particular sin was so deeply offensive and widespread, happening over and over again over a period of many decades, it is really hard for the church to overcome. Trust in God does not translate into trust in men that are supposed to be leading people to God.
I understand this part and am really not disagreeing with you, only pointing out that the personal sins of the priest cannot invalid the Mass or sacraments which bring grace into the life of the soul. Does it damage the “moral voice” of the Church and appear to be hypocritical to the world? I’d say yes for those only looking at the human institution without understanding the supernatural dimension or regarding the fact that the Catholic Church was founded by Christ Himself .
Leaving a church because you do not feel that it may be a safe place to be doesn’t mean you are leaving God. It is hard to belong to a church when you have no faith in its leadership.
Speaking for myself, and for Catholics in general, ultimately, this would be equivalent to losing your faith if you let go of the fact that the leadership of the Church is the Holy Spirit, and no longer believed the Church to hold the Truth as revealed by God. And the Catholic Church, which I believe is in the process of purification, is not the only guilty one perpetrating this type of crime.
 
Check out the website called Catholics Come Home. There are lots of personal stories there.

My heart really goes out to the people of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles: The systemic coverup is disgusting, and reading it in the press everyday must be so disheartening. I pray that the Holy Spirit blows some fresh wind through that morass, and cleans things up.

Not that it hasn’t happened elsewhere (and in other faiths as well,) but this is just the most shrill and dramatic recent example. I pray that people hold on to their faith, and emerge stronger for this trial.
It’s really hard. The man who married my parents and baptized me and my siblings is one of the most odious perpetrators. He was an admitted molester, and Curry and Mahony just kept shuffling him around. I recognize many of the names on the list. Their files are nauseating. It really does put a question in your mind as to just how holy our Church is. Our faith - yes. The institution, I don’t know. That’s why it’s hard to go to Mass for so many. They’d rather do their worship at home.
 
It’s really hard. The man who married my parents and baptized me and my siblings is one of the most odious perpetrators. He was an admitted molester, and Curry and Mahony just kept shuffling him around. I recognize many of the names on the list. Their files are nauseating. It really does put a question in your mind as to just how holy our Church is. Our faith - yes. The institution, I don’t know. That’s why it’s hard to go to Mass for so many. They’d rather do their worship at home.
No real advice here, just wanted to say that I am praying for you & all in the Diocese of LA. I just cannot imagine the anger, sadness and outrage that many must feel.

I am not sure if releasing these files was the correct thing to do, and what is done is done. As LA picks up the pieces, may all those in leadership roles in our Church learn from their mistakes and not continue to make them.
 
I understand this part and am really not disagreeing with you, only pointing out that the personal sins of the priest cannot invalid the Mass or sacraments which bring grace into the life of the soul. Does it damage the “moral voice” of the Church and appear to be hypocritical to the world? I’d say yes for those only looking at the human institution without understanding the supernatural dimension or regarding the fact that the Catholic Church was founded by Christ Himself .

Speaking for myself, and for Catholics in general, ultimately, this would be equivalent to losing your faith if you let go of the fact that the leadership of the Church is the Holy Spirit, and no longer believed the Church to hold the Truth as revealed by God. And the Catholic Church, which I believe is in the process of purification, is not the only guilty one perpetrating this type of crime.
the fact that the Catholic Church is not the only church guilty of this type of crime is irrelevant. It is hard to articulate, but the abuse was so widespread and heinous, and so ignored, that I think in some people’s minds it ceased to “merely” be of the sin of man, and be a sin of the Church as an institution as a whole. I have personally did not witness truly devout Catholics leave because of this, but those who were less devout, and looking to strengthen their faith, this did not help. The Church may have been founded by Christ, but surely you can guess how one might look at the horror of what happened, and second guess if the Holy Spirit was really leading the Church. That could be really hard for some of the victims, and those close to them, to swallow.

The mass also may be valid, but it would be hard for someone to receive thinking are the hands touching the Body of Christ going to later be molesting my child, if I am ever comfortable enough here to let my guard down. People may perceive they could potentially be trading a valid sacrament for potential loss of their child’s innocence.

This did not keep us from attending church, but when my son served in the Episcopal… Church we later left, I did not leave him unattended. I was physically present when he went in the back to put on his robes. I did not leave him alone with the acolyte master, a genuine man of God whom I and my son adored. This was a direct result of the scandal in the Catholic church (even though the Episcopal Church certainly had enough scandals of its own) My teen daughter was as closely guarded.

Although in our case the scandal did not keep us from church, it certainly changed my trust. I can sympathize with someone closer to what happened who would choose not to go. As a parent of a child old enough to leave your side, young enough to be very vulnerable, it is really hard.
 
No real advice here, just wanted to say that I am praying for you & all in the Diocese of LA. I just cannot imagine the anger, sadness and outrage that many must feel.

I am not sure if releasing these files was the correct thing to do, and what is done is done. As LA picks up the pieces, may all those in leadership roles in our Church learn from their mistakes and not continue to make them.
Thank you. We need those prayers. Anyone who has been in the area a while, and has been a fairly active Catholic, will recognize names on the list. It’s pretty widespread. I don’t understand it. There is also a HUGE amount of non-Catholic or former-Catholic outcry over this. We give the same old pat responses “Men are falliable. We forgive sinners. We’re sorry. We didn’t realize what we were doing…” Seems pretty empty to our critics. Apparently the diocese has lost so much money to the payouts and reduced donations that they are planning to start a slick new fundraising campaign. I feel like it’s too soon.
 
I feel a lot of it has to do with some people not being very well catechised.
 
I understand this part and am really not disagreeing with you, only pointing out that the personal sins of the priest cannot invalid the Mass or sacraments which bring grace into the life of the soul. Does it damage the “moral voice” of the Church and appear to be hypocritical to the world? I’d say yes for those only looking at the human institution without understanding the supernatural dimension or regarding the fact that the Catholic Church was founded by Christ Himself .

Speaking for myself, and for Catholics in general, ultimately, this would be equivalent to losing your faith if you let go of the fact that the leadership of the Church is the Holy Spirit, and no longer believed the Church to hold the Truth as revealed by God. And the Catholic Church, which I believe is in the process of purification, is not the only guilty one perpetrating this type of crime.
This,Amen!👍
 
I feel a lot of it has to do with some people not being very well catechised.
Becoming better catechised actually led me to realize that I don’t believe many of the core tenets of the faith!
 
I left a couple years after my initial conversion because I naively wasn’t prepared for the anti-Catholic response from my family :(. I knew in my heart why I believed but didn’t have it right “in my head” to articulate and defend myself from everyone else around me. My family threw me out and most of them didn’t speak to me for about a year (they have since apologized and all is forgiven, but that turned my world upside down). I then began a slow fade to going nowhere at all and with a “new agey” (and drug addicted now ex-husband). I came back having matured enough to understand that families have to agree to disagree sometimes though there should be no love lost, and after having observed how much depth and clarity is lacking from the “Bible only” and “faith alone” perspective. Studying a lot of the information that is out now (Dr. Hahn, etc) had helped a lot to reinforce a lot of where I myself had been lacking in having a ready response for the Faith (1 Peter 3:15).

I actually had a breakthrough this week with my grandmother (who raised me). She asked me today why having icons in the Church was not idolatry. I was able to give her an explanation and follow through with scriptural references. She was silent for a minute then she said: “Well, I guess that makes sense.” I was like : :eek: (in happiness, because I was expecting a drawn out rebuttal) :extrahappy:! I also found out some other interesting information.

All my life I grew up right accross the street from Our Lady of Lourdes (mega Parish- school, rectory and convent all dominated the entire right side of the block. We used to play in the replica Grotto and the whole neighborhood was upset when someone stole Our Lady from there Catholic and non Catholics alike) but never understood why my family made such an effort to send me blocks away to public school (it was not because of the cost).

Turns out that my oldest uncle (passed away) and aunt (of her 8 total children) were baptized and rec’d first Holy Communion as Catholic and had attended the school across the street. My granny didn’t complete RCIA and was not so kindly asked to leave (a tragically comical and slightly irreverent series of mishaps with the Priest and Sisters that perhaps now would make a great movie is all I can say…🍿) so she did. I’ve heard that a lot of older peoples’ impressions/experiences with Catholicism unfortunately were like hers. It explained why she was so angry with me for initially converting. A lot of that was misplaced due to what had happened to her.
 
Becoming better catechised actually led me to realize that I don’t believe many of the core tenets of the faith!
ExCatholicGuy,

Having had a very diverse and colorful perspective, I’d say that becoming better catechised led me to see how many tenets of the Faith are actually held by other denominations but warped in different words (and infused with a good dose of skewed politics and anti Catholicism for good measure).

In my humble opinion, why would I settle for water when I can have Living Wine? 🙂 The truth may be closer than you think. When and if you are ready, I’d encourage you to take a second look. In any case, I certainly wish you all the best in your journey.:tiphat:

T.
 
Bad Catholics turn more people away from the Church than any other reason.
 
Bad Catholics turn more people away from the Church than any other reason.
Really?
And how does one tell if one is a “bad Catholic”?

Based on my experiences, I think it is the “holier-than-thou”, “more Catholic than the Pope” crowd who do more damage to those who are confused than any “bad Catholic” every will.
 
Why do Catholics leave the Church?


  1. *]The behavior of other Catholics.
    *]An unpleasant experience with a priest, bishop, or religious.
    *]They remarry and deny themselves the sacraments then get angry about it.
    *]They buy into the arguments against the Church put forth by the media and in universities.
    *]Often there’s some sexual sin they’d rather not forsake. They call it something else, but this is the driving reason.
    *]They’re Uncle Toms.
    *]They never learned or understood the faith.
    *]They marry outside the faith.
    *]They prefer to be entertained at Church.
    *]It requires a searching and fearless look at themselves.

    Many other reasons besides. Rather than be angry with them, we should seek out the lost sheep.

  1. Agree with Boy here. I left because I have scrupules fairly badly ( I am now learning that that is what it is thanks to the internet and all you lovely folk 😉 ). For most people its challeging to go to confession and work on your sins. For others its sheer terror. There are times when I feel bioligacally a bad fit for Catholocism and after years of anxiety, you just crack. You want to be able to be normal and connect with other people. I came back. But the point is there are probably as many reasons for leaving, as there are those who left. You just never know. We definitely need to seek, be nice to, nurture, and inform lost sheep. Judgemental is not a good attitude imo.
 
Really?
And how does one tell if one is a “bad Catholic”?

Based on my experiences, I think it is the “holier-than-thou”, “more Catholic than the Pope” crowd who do more damage to those who are confused than any “bad Catholic” every will.
But acting that way towards others is being one. It’s a lack of humility and very irritating. Nobody wants to be around somebody like that.
 
But acting that way towards others is being one. It’s a lack of humility and very irritating. Nobody wants to be around somebody like that.
I don’t disagree with you. But, based on some of the comments in this thread, that is the way to be a “good Catholic”. 🤷
 
Ahh…the heretical sinners prayer, something never mentioned in Sacred Scripture. If protestants were right, there wouldn’t be the need for oh, I don’t know, 38,000 different interpretations of scripture and you’re talking to a man that left the one true church TWICE before FINALLY realizing Rome was home.

**You know when you’re defending Catholicism in a Lutheran setting, it’s time to get right again, but that’s my walk.**Protestanism is just too confusing. They say Scripture only, yet it was the Catholic Church that gave the scriptures to the world. So who is right? luther, zwigli, calvin, knox, wesley, ellen g. white, billy graham, etc.
That was my wakeup call too when found myself constantly :banghead: doing the same in yet another evangelical Baptist setting… brings new meaning to “it’s not you, its me” doesn’t it? I think I finally got it right (again) this time 👍.
 
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