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JackieMom
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I don’t think that’s how the decision is made. They don’t believe that the Church has correctly interpreted God’s “views” in the first place. They leave to find a church that makes more sense to them, not just one that is less demanding.
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Annabelle_Marie
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So if you have someone who would have been a virgen except for their dad…where do they fit in???
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Annabelle_Marie
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Believe me…I know it’s difficult…but think about all those children…and there are many of them…who were not molested by priest…but there own family…which were ignored because no one wanted to believe that their own family members could do that. It’s not just the Church who have had problems…but many families as well. I actually think that is worse because when the monster is at home with you…you have no relief…it’s living with you…and no one wants to believe it…
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ComeHome2Rome
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Hi Pat, I can’t answer for all Catholics who have left, but I can speak for my family. We left the Catholic Church to became Orthodox Christians because we were proud to be members of the Church Christ founded that we studied the Church Fathers and the Ecumenical Councils in hopes to reaffirm that fact, but ended up realizing we weren’t in the right Church and so we Prayed and Prayed and then entered the one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church - the Orthodox Church. I can only speak for my family.
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Cat
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I’m sure a lot of you already know this, but just in case…
Please, everyone, keep in mind that there have been plenty of molestation cases in Protestant churches, too. I grew up in a church (Baptist) where a man was raping young girls–it happened to one of my friends. She said nothing about it until she grew up, and then…boom.
My husband attended an Assemblies of God church that had a philandering youth minister. When my husband and I were teens, we went on a church youth conference–thousands of kids attended. It was awful, because the youth pastor had several teenaged girls in his bed with him! I saw it with my own eyes. I was so upset that I went outside and sat on the sidewalk of the hotel. There, I found my boyfriend (who is now my husband). Turns out that the boys were so rowdy and out-of control that he also left the room to go sit outside. We reported all this when we got back home, and the church fired the youth minister.
For decades, the Christian and Missionary Alliance (it’s an evangelical Protestant denomination) required its missionaries to place their children in boarding schools when they turned 6 years old. These boarding schools were located far from the parents, sometimes as much as a thousand miles away–in other words, the kids and parents didn’t see each other for several months.
To make a long, sad story short, there were quite a few cases of abuse, sexual and otherwise, but this was covered up and DENIED for decades. Many of the missionary kids were treated very well, so the church members and council wanted very much to believe that everything was OK. But several years ago, many of the abused children, now adults, brought accusations against the C&MA, and it all came out, and it was horrific.
What I’m telling you isn’t gossip or slander. The last time I visited the C&MA website, they had the “letter of apology” posted. They are trying to be open with the story.
And in case you are wondering, the missionary parents are no longer required to give up their children to boarding schools.
In Protestant churches, cases of sexual molestation have often been dealt with by simply firing the miscreant and no other church will then hire them. They often go into a secular job. Thankfully more people are now bringing charges against molesters, rapists, and other abusers in their churches. But people are still under pressure to “keep quiet” about it so they won’t hurt their church.
So sad and horrible.
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Tigg
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It isn’t irrelevant - if one leaves the Church for this reason alone, only to go elsewhere where the same type of crime is being committed as well.
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Tigg
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Many have come to this same conclusion - by recognition of Truth via grace and by assenting one’s intellect and will to God.
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Tigg
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Isn’t this the epitome of moral relativism? “My truth,” (subjective) to justify the rejection of an objective teaching?
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PRmerger
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Grace2013
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. I am so very sorry. It was not ok for that man to take what he had no right to. It is not a sin on the part of the person that was done to, against their will. Our Mother Church welcomes all with open arms. Even if the person this happened to is discerning Priest or Sisterhood that is still a possibility.
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JackieMom
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I don’t think so. They really do not believe the Catholic Church is teaching objective truth. They aren’t necessarily leaving for something easier, they are leaving because they truly think the Church is incorrect. If they thought the Church held a monopoly on truth, they wouldn’t walk away. No one says “I know the Catholic Church is 100% right about everything it teaches, but it was too much of a bummer to obey.” They say, “I came to a point where I realized I could not agree with the Church on one or more issues, and so I left for something that I think teaches a more accurate theology and morality.”
I think it’s easy to say people leave for convenience of being able to do what they wish. But they have to grt to a point where they no longer believe that the Church is correct to do so.
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Gwendolen
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The question was “why are people leaving” not “are their reasons for leaving valid and logical”. But what sickens me is ANY suggestion – ANY hint that the crimes committed by priests of the Catholic Church and those who covered up for them are somehow less, because other clergy, other people molest children too. I know that’s not what was said, yet it still felt like that. I especially recoiled at “the sacraments were still valid”; No mother I know would trade her child’s innocence for a valid sacrament.
I’m guessing there were those who were involved in the scandals that just stopped going to church altogether, especially those already struggling with their faith. Some may have perceived another denomination with a different hierarchy made their kids somehow less vulnerable. Their perceptions may or may not have been correct. It doesn’t matter, we don’t need to get in a cyber argument with people who are not even here. You don’t have to agree with their reasons to acknowledge them.
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Annabelle_Marie
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I think that what many people don’t realize is that people in that situation can have severe “flashbacks”… And things/people may trigger these. It does not even have o be your abuser to have this happen. So for many it is not as easy as separating out the Church from abusers. If you were abused by a priest…I can only imagine what seeing a priest might do.
But PLEASE do not minimize their suffering by suggesting what they “should do” or “should have done”. Healing is individualized for everyone and its going to depend on so many factors.
But PLEASE do not minimize their suffering by suggesting what they “should do” or “should have done”. Healing is individualized for everyone and its going to depend on so many factors.
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Eugenius
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With all the varieties of media out there, I think people are just less likely to put up with homilies that are poorly conceived and presented. We moved to the south for job opportunity and the mass at the local parish is painful to sit through. The priest talks to us like we are grade school children and often recycles the same homily. I’m tempted to join a Bible study group at one of the neighboring Protestant churches.
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clem456
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oops wrong thread
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PRmerger
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Yes, I forgot that this is another reason that people leave the Church: they want good preaching.
Who could blame them? There are some of the worst preachers in the Catholic Church, to be sure!
However, to leave for a charismatic preacher shows an impoverished understanding what the Mass is.
The music, homily, decorations, etc etc etc are all infinitely inferior to what’s actually going on at the Divine Liturgy. Heaven comes to earth!
The miracle is why we are there. We get to participate in it! And we get to become ONE with it!
Why would anyone leave *that *for this type of preaching, no matter how funny/relevant/hip (and with great props, too!) this pastor is?
youtube.com/watch?v=b820Y0CuQdE
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Oneofthewomen
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Regarding the bolded-
In my case, I didn’t “know”.
Oh, I knew what the teaching was, but I had no idea of what it meant in the manner in which you are speaking. I had never experienced that “becoming one”.
You don’t know what you don’t know, and sadly that is why many Cathlolics leave. Knowing the “facts” is one thing, having a relationship with God with the help of the Sacraments is something entirely different and that must be nurtured. And like plants, we all require diffent things to thrive and bloom into the persons God created.
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Grace2013
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A word of caution about that:
Having had experience with a very charismatic Baptist church, the thing that I didn’t like is that there seemed to be a fine line between “plugged in” and “short circuted.” There were some days I went to service (or Bible study) and not once was the Bible opened, and there were Sundays where there was not even a sermon due to a lot of other things - (speaking in tounges, running around, etc.) not putting any of that down, but I have always felt that God is a God of order. Sometimes when there is a focus so much on emotions and going for an experience, we don’t have time to truly* learn *the important parts of faith.
Then for the more conservative Baptist churches, many Pastors recycle what are obviously Catholic teachings that everyone else thinks is some kind of “new revelation.” That familiarity may be a little misleading (in combination with the “feel good fellowship”) to think that they are onto something. I went to one church for a while where the Pastor regularly quoted the early Church Fathers and basically lifted 70% of the CCC that he seemed to agree with :
but he still slid in a few anti-Catholic jabs in there from time to time. Not surpring to find out that half the congregation was composed of those that identified themselves as “ex-Catholics.”The Protestant interpretations of the Bible are from very different (and confusing due to lack of official authority) perspectives. Once they know that you are Catholic merely wanting to attend Bible study/fellowship, you are almost immediately made out to be their next “project” (to convert) even if you make it clear that is not your interest.
IMHO, I think it is better to get a CD or DVD of a more “engaging” service instead of attending other services regularly is a good way to slowly find yourself lapsed (as I was) even if with intial good intentions.
There are lots of online Catholic Bible studies too.
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Tigg
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Not every priest has the gift of preaching and I think we’ve all sat through our share of painful homilies. In fact, in our current parish, rather than receiving spiritual tidbits we normally get either a geography lesson (the pastor is widely traveled) or a history lesson. On Monday afternoons, I go to the link that has posted our previous pastor’s homily and listen. It’s amazing - the different styles and quality. And I am fed!
I would be very careful of exposing myself to the anti-Catholic sentiment you are bound to run into in the Protestant environment - especially in the Bible belt. When we lived in Tennessee, the Catholic population was very small and the closest alternative parish was 70 miles away. Many suffered from the lackadaisical and liberal approach and some did just what you are tempted to do. They began to go to a Weds night bible study down the street. I had coffee at a friend’s house and ran into a gal I hadn’t seen in months. Much to my horror, she shared that her entire family had “converted” to a Protestant denomination. I asked her how she could possibly leave the Eucharist and she replied she did not believe she had, as her new church celebrated communion every Sunday.
Although her temptation came through dissatisfaction, it was obvious her true reason for leaving the Church was a lack of knowledge of Truth.
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